Author's Note #1: Yo yo yo, watup everyone!!! Ugh, I know I promised updates before the 27th of September, but even before school, I've been drowned with so much work. And ever since school has started, let's just say "bring on the heavy ass workload"… ugh, that's what I get for majoring in Computer Engineering at UCR. Not to mention that I have a calculus teacher who can barely speak English :-/ Well, luckily I have managed to update today right before I have to go to my cousin's engagement party. This chapter was originally intended to be longer and it was quite rushed, but due to lack of time, I will try really, really hard to get an update for tomorrow (Sunday, October 7, 2007) afternoon or evening that will have a lemon in it as a make-up gift for you all for my lack of updates. So keep on checking for updates.
Author's Note #2: Domo arigato to Jackalakala as always for your kind reviews!!! Always appreciated!
Author's Note #3: I hope you all did a bit of something in observance of Shikamaru's birthday on September 22nd.
Author's Note #4: Oh wow… can you believe that Shikamaru walked into an empty home… his empty home? Oh, the agony he must be feeling right now, knowing that he didn't sell his house while he was in Mexico. Who's behind all this? Whatever happened to Sasuke? When will we see or hear from this blond idiot Shikamaru keeps on talking about? Will it get any worse for our beloved Shikamaru? Read on and find out.
Author's Note #5: As always, all thoughts and dreams are represented by italicized text unless otherwise noted.
Author's Note #6: Chapter no beta… no beta means possible bad grammar and stuff… bad grammar and stuff may irritate people… people been warned….
Tagline: His driver's license. His credit cards. His bank accounts. His identity. DELETED
Thought for the moment: Yes, we do have a bipolar Sasuke indeed in this story… hehehe…
ENJOY CHAPTER 8!!!
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"Oh… my… god…" Shikamaru began to saunter inside his home… or at least what was supposed to be his home. The lazy brunet's heart began to beat irregularly fast as his dark chocolate eyes began to take in what was right before him: a completely empty house!
Where… where… where is my furniture?! Where is my office?! Where is my TV?! Where are all of my pictures?! Where are all the deers?!
The only items in view of the lazy beta tester's eyes are a small foldable table, a folding chair, and an open suitcase.
Oh my god... who the hell could've done such—
FLUSH
Before the brunet was able to wrap up his musings, the door to the hallway bathroom suddenly creaked open. His natural instincts told him to immediately turn around and the get the hell out of there.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where you running? Don't run! Take your time. Relax!" A man's voice shouted towards the fleeing Nara. Instead of continuing to run away, Shikamaru decided to stop and turn around.
A light brunet haired man about the same height as Shikamaru walked out of the bathroom, wearing a beige-toned trench coat featuring a sizable collar that covered the lower extremities of his face. Another notable feature of the man was that he wore sunglasses, despite being indoors and the sun being nearly set already.
"Hello sir, my name is Shino Aburame with Aburame Realty where you can buy the most by the coast!" The trench-coated man spoke while adjusting his collar. "Come on in, let me show you around this gorgeous property. You'll really like it."
Shikamaru stood in place, biting his thumb in the process. "Well, that sounds real lovely and all, but there's one tiny problem…"
"A… problem… sir?" Shino scratched his head, signifying confusion.
"Uh, yeah… THIS IS MY HOUSE!"
"Yeah, sure… this can be your house if you choose to," the realtor replied enthusiastically, "Now the question is: What will it take for you to buy this house?"
Oh my god, are you serious? Shikamaru furrowed his brow at the sunglass-wearing realtor in front of him."Um, sir, I think you misunderstood me. Now you see, this is actually my house. I am the owner of this house! This house belongs to me, Shikamaru Nara!"
"Wait a minute…" Shino brought his finger up, signaling for the lazy brunet to pause in speaking. "… You're Shikamaru Nara?"
The lazy brunet shook his head with dignity. "Yes sir, I AM Shikamaru Nara!"
The Aburame put his hands on his hips. "Well if you really are, then show me the deed and mortgage papers sir."
"Well I wish I could, but I was in Mexico for over a week now and—"
"How can you be Shikamaru Nara if you've been in Mexico for the past week and yet the true Shikamaru Nara put this house for sell three days ago and had the deed and mortgage papers? Huh?"
"How the fuck am I supposed to sell a house while I'm in another country?"
"I have no idea… but I am pretty damn sure that you are not Shikamaru Nara!"
After a few more moments of bickering, Shino decided it was best if the police were involved in this dispute. And as a bonus, the pink-haired neighbor was also called in to help with the dispute.
Two officers arrived at the (alleged) Nara residence. A tall man with long, light brunet hair covering the right side of his face stepped inside the house first. Shikamaru looked closely at his badge. Officer Izumo Kamizuki eh... Another officer stepped into the house. He too was tall and had very long, dark brunet locks. Officer Kotetsu Hagane as well, eh…
"What is your name ma'am?" Officer Hagane asked the slender pink-haired woman from across the street.
"My name is Sakura Haruno, sir," she replied immediately.
Oh, so that's her name… Sakura huh… goddamn… she has a huge forehead too… Shikamaru briefly rubbed his chin absentmindedly.
After Officer Kamizuki wrote some notes down in his notepad, he inquired a question to Sakura that would definitely get the lazy deer lover's attention.
"Oh, I definitely saw him move out of the house," the pink haired woman replied to the officer's question.
"Okay, so when was this?" Shikamaru jumped into the conversation, while pacing around the kitchen area.
"Umm…" The oversized forehead, pink haired woman began to adjust her red headband while musing over the lazy brunet's question. "About three days ago. Moving van, moving men, furniture—"
"No, no, no, no!" The Nara cut off the Haruno. "I've been in Mexico for over a week now. How can I be in L.A. selling my house at the same time?" Shit, three days ago? That was the last time I was actually conscious before meeting Sasuke-teme.
"Maybe because it wasn't your house to sell! It's not him, I'm telling you! It's not Shikamaru Nara!" Shino screeched out, raising his arms in a frustrated manner.
"Please sir, calm down," Officer Hagane tried to assuage the Aburame's frustration.
Shikamaru glared hard at the sunglass-wearing realtor. Dude, this guy is so fucking hardheaded! "I am Shikamaru Nara dammit!"
"Oh, come on! The real Shikamaru Nara would have the deed and mortgage papers!" Shino aggravatingly replied. "I already got 20,000 in the computer and I checked every record and it's not him! Jesus Christ people!"
"Look, sir, it would help everything if you could just produce some form of identification," Officer Kamizuki remarked towards the tattered deer lover.
"You know what? I totally agree with you on that… but as I've already mentioned for the umpteenth time already that I had everything stolen in Cancún!" Shikamaru's tone couldn't be anymore vexed. He continued to pace around the living room area.
"Oh puh-llleeeaaassseee!" The Aburame tilted his head, rolling his eyes in the process, although it was unseen due to his sunglasses. "Ask him how he got across the border without a passport."
"I had a temporary issued," the lazy beta tester replied.
All of a sudden, Sakura decides to thrown in her voice back into the conversation. "Do they do that? I don't think they do that," the Haruno eyed the Nara suspiciously.
Shikamaru couldn't help but to let out an angry grunt before answering his neighbor's inquiry. "Oh my god… this is ridiculous beyond belief…" The brunet reached into his pocket and pulled out the document he was issued at the U.S. Consulate. "Here it is! This is it! It's just… it's under a different name!" The document was handed over to Officer Hagane.
"Why is that?" Sakura inquired towards the brunet with wonder in her tone.
"It's simple: Because they don't think I'm not me!"
Officer Hagane examined the temporary visa very closely. He noted that the signature did not read Shikamaru Nara but rather Kiba Inuzuka. "Is this your signature sir?"
"Well… yeah… I just signed the different name they game me—"
"It's a federal offense to forge a visa!" Sakura added her two-cents.
Damn, what a prick I have for a neighbor. It would've been so troublesome if I knew her any longer than right now. "Oh really? Then tell me what is it to steal an entire house? Huh?" Shikamaru received an angry glare from Sakura for that remark.
"Yo Izumo, can you go run this?" Officer Hagane gave the temporary visa to his partner.
"I'll be right back," Officer Kamizuki replied as he grabbed the document and headed out for the squad car parked in front of the house.
"You know what? It's not going to make a difference because they screwed with all of my information and—… and my fingerprints!" The lazy brunet rambled towards the only policeman in the living room.
Unknowingly to all of those present in the house, and especially to Shikamaru, a certain buff, pale, raven-haired man was outside in his sporty black Lexus SC430, eavesdropping into the amusing on-going argument occurring within the (supposed) Nara residence, courtesy of a bug that his partner dropped into the house a few days ago. He pulled down the sun-visor to reveal a particular photo that was taken in Mexico during their date.
"Hehehe… you though that you could get away from me forever… Shika-kun..." An evil smirk can be seen on the man's pretty boy facial features, "… but you better know damn well that I, Sasuke Uchiha, am one pretty persistent bastard. I will never go down that easily… especially to you..." The "resurrected" Uchiha cackled very evilly after finishing his remark. He continued to listen to the conversation taking place in the residence.
"Who are 'they'?" Sakura inquired to the brunet.
"I… have… no idea…" Shikamaru replied.
"Where do you work? Do you work around here?" The Haruno asked, making it seem that she was interrogating the Nara.
"Well… no… I work in my house— I mean, my office is in San Francisco and I've never been there, but I work inside my house."
Sasuke pulled out his MacBook Pro and turned it on. After a few clicks and typing here and there, he pulled up a screen that read Criminal History. A noticeable feature on the screen was that of a DMV photo of Shikamaru, yet the name on file was indeed Kiba Inuzuka. Currently on the screen, it read No Prior Arrests on File and No Outstanding Warrants on File.
"Hehehe, well Shika-kun, you did say that you wanted to take some risks in life…" The raven-haired Uchiha again flashed a devilish smirk, "… So why not make that a reality… courtesy of yours truly…" Sasuke began to type away, keeping that particular smirk the entire time.
"You don't anyone in a city that you've lived in for several years that can vouch you as Shikamaru Nara? Not even a mother or a father?" Officer Hagane inquired towards the tattered brunet.
"My mother is not well and my father is—" Shikamaru suddenly cut himself off, realizing that he doesn't wasn't to recall about anything in regards to his father ever since that one day when he went onto that mission. "No… no…" The brunet heaved out an exasperated sigh, trying to think of other people that can vouch for him. Well there is that blond idiot whom I haven't spoken to in a long ass time… but it'd be best not to mention him this time, as it may not help… How troublesome!
In the squad car parked outside, Officer Izumo Kamizuki was on the on-board computer in order to process the temporary visa that was given to him. He typed the name KIBA INUZUKA into the system. After a few seconds of processing, a Criminal Records and Outstanding Warrants Page came up onto the screen. The following information was displayed:
PRIOR ARRESTS
- 12/04 LAPD Narcotics
- 03/05 SFPD Prostitution
- 07/05 Santa Monica PD Petty Larceny
- 01/06 SDPD Petty Larceny
OUTSTANDING WARRANTS
- 6/06 LAPD Prostitution
- 3/07 San José PD Narcotics
Immediately seeing the two outstanding warrants flash on the screen, Officer Kamizuki grabbed the handset for the communications radio. "Yeah, we got a Kiba Inuzuka trying to run a scam at a house. He's wanted for prostitution and narcotics, so we are going to bring him in."
While the other three we're still discussing the home issue at hand, Shikamaru had been eyeing Officer Kamizuki the whole time. The brunet flinched a bit as he observed the officer grabbing the communications radio handset and speaking into it. Shit! They must've put something on file… like an outstanding warrant or something. Well, the hell with going to jail for something I probably have never done! Okay, think Shika, think! How can I get out of this sticky situation? Shikamaru nonchalantly moved his head around, thinking of an escape plan. His dark chocolate eyes gazed at two items: Shino's iPhone and the bathroom door. Aha! I got it!
"Um, will you all excuse me for a sec?" The three patrons in the room turned their attention towards the tattered brunet. "I just got to use the bathroom…"
After hearing the lazy deer lover's announcement, the three simply went back to minding their own business. As Shikamaru calmly sauntered his way towards the bathroom, he stealthily grabbed the sleek and stylish black iPhone that was resting on the foldable table. He slowly closed the door behind him once stepping into the bathroom.
All right, better do this quickly! Shikamaru opened the bottom cabinet of the sink and pulled out a set of pliers. He then opened the fairly sizable window next to the toilet and quickly went to work on cutting open the screen. Ugh, I gotta hurry up and get the fuck out of here before they become suspicious! While working on his escape plan, Shikamaru can easily hear more of the conversation going on in the living room.
"Miss Haruno, is he or isn't he?" Officer Hagane inquired.
"He just kept to himself, didn't talk to anybody…"
After hearing the pink haired woman speak, Shikamaru successfully cut open the screen. For insurance purposes, the lazy brunet flushed the toilet to make it seem that he was really using the bathroom. After completing that task, he jumped out of the window, landing perfectly flat-footed on the ground. Heh, thank goodness for my ninja reflexes. Before making the escape, the Nara could hear Officer Kamizuki speak to his partner.
"Where's the dude?"
"He's—"
Shino abruptly cut off Officer Hagane. "My iPhone! Has anyone seen my iPhone?
Shit! I guess that's my cue to get the FUCK OUTTA HERE! Shikamaru began to run through the side yard. He plowed through the side fence door with much force. He was now running onto the streets, huffing and puffing with much intensity, trying to get away from the very troublesome situation that he's now placed himself now into, or rather "they" placed himself into. Holy Shit! I'm a fucking FUGITIVE now, running away from the police. Oh man! What a drag! The tattered brunet continued to run towards the canal bridge. Goddamn it! I can't believe that I'm running in flip-flops! This is so gonna fucking hurt my feet later! How! Troublesome! Indeed! Well, I can't keep running onto the streets, as they'll just go after me. While on the bridge, Shikamaru eyed the pedestrian path besides the canal. Perfect, Ill just run along the canal and go on from there!
Again unknowingly to the running deer lover, Sasuke was parked somewhere on the street in his beloved black Lexus. "Holy shit!" The Uchiha's onyx-toned eyes caught sight of the running Nara on the street. "He actually escaped from the police's clutches! Well, better make sure that I at least get my hands on him... hehehe…"
Sasuke pressed the remote engine start button to get his car to run. The engine roared as soon it was activated. He turned on the headlights and released the handbrake before pushing on the gas pedal, pursuing the running brunet. As soon as the speedometer reached twenty, the pale Uchiha slammed on the breaks, the tires making a distinctive squealing noise against the pavement, as he saw a police officer with long, dark brunet locks holding a flashlight in the middle of the street. The officer made his way towards the driver's side window.
"Excuse me sir, have you seen a young, brunet dude running around here?"
Ugh, I really don't want them to be involved with my Shika-kun, hehehe. I just needed them to get him to run away after all. "Uh, no sir, I haven't seen anyone…" Sasuke calmly replied.
"Thanks anyways!" The officer made his way towards the squad car. When the pair got into the car, they sped off in pursuit of the runaway brunet.
Ugh, I better find Shika-kun first before they do! With that musing completed, the Uchiha sped off towards the direction that Shikamaru ran towards.
Meanwhile, after making it across the bridge, Shikamaru made a sharp left onto the pedestrian walkway of the canal. The now lazy fugitive's lungs started to hurt, as the night air of the Westside was extremely cool, making a sharp sensation every time he inhaled deeply. Ugh, I feel like as if someone were stabbing my lungs! As the path was nearly coming to an end, Shikamaru decided to make a right turn, as it would bring him into a residential alley, secluded away from the police. Ugh, what am I gonna do now?
As Sasuke drove over the bridge, his own iPhone began to ring. The Uchiha answered it. "Yeah?"
"What the hell happened Sasuke?!" A very deep and malicious voice can be heard on the other side of the line.
"Don't worry about what's currently going on. We can find whomever he was speaking to. Remember, he's out here all alone so he can very vulnerable… if you know what I mean…"
"Fuck Sasuke! We don't want another Cancún incident! He's your responsibility, deal with it!"
"Jesus Christ, calm down there dude! I said I'd take care of it… aniki…" After finishing up his last sentence, the person on the other side of the line immediately hung up. Jesus I swear, he thinks that he's better than me all the time! Well I'll show him who's the better of the two!
Shikamaru was now running down an alleyway that spilled out onto Venice Boulevard. Before running across the busy boulevard, he made sure that there weren't any signs of a police car following him. When all was clear, the brunet quickly dashed across the street, nearly avoiding the oncoming traffic. As soon as he reached the other side, the lazy beta tester pulled out the now stolen iPhone he got from the house. I should call Neji, he'll know what to do! Shikamaru immediately dialed the number to his office.
"Hokage Software," the same operator answered.
"Neji Hyuuga!" Shikamaru replied while panting deeply from his marathon run.
"I'm sorry, but Mr. Hyuuga is no longer with the company…"
Shikamaru's dark chocolate eyes widened like saucers as he heard what the operator just said. His heart was beating even faster despite the workout he got from evading the police. What the hell is she talking about! I just talked to him nearly a week ago. "What—… what—… what do you mean…" The Nara was still trying to catch his breath.
"Would you like me to connect you with someone who can help?"
"Well—… um—… I—…" Shikamaru still couldn't find the words he wanted to say.
"Whom may I connect you to?" The operator began to sound impatient.
"Well… I don't know anyone else over there…" The lazy brunet started to calm down eventually in order to speak clearly into the phone. "Look, connect me to the head of security, just tell them that it's Shikamaru Nara and—"
"Thank you, I'll put you through Mr. Nara," The Operator replied.
What do you mean "I'll put you through Mr. Nara"? "Huh... No, wait… I AM SHIKAMARU NARA!... Hello?"
"Hello, this is Shikamaru Nara…"
As soon as those words were heard on the other side of the line, the lazy brunet nearly froze in place. His heavy breathing began to cease while his dark chocolate eyes began to widen like saucers once again. In other words, the tattered Nara was nearly in disbelief as he heard his own name being spoken into the phone. Calming his nerves, Shikamaru decided to speak to the "imposter" on the other side of the line.
"Um… who is this?" Shikamaru stated calmly, running his hand into his tattered brunet locks.
"This is Shikamaru Nara, hello?"
Oh my god, who is this imposter?! Is someone posing as me in the main office in San Francisco? Shikamaru again stood frozen in place, nearly lost in words on what to say.
"Look, I know who you are and this is someone that can help you out dude!" The man on the other side of the line spoke. "Just give us the CD Shikamaru."
"Look, you have the wrong person, I don't—… I don't know what you're talking about and—"
"Shikamaru! We are not offering you an option here! Just give us the CD and we will give you your life back!" The man agitatedly replied.
His mental state drowning into confusion, Shikamaru couldn't seek the words on what to say. "Look… I don't have your CD… I don't know what your talking about bitch!"
"Give us the CD Shikamaru…"
A strange, repetitive tapping noise was heard on the line. What the hell is that sound? The brunet mused for a bit, before deciding it was best to hang up the line and discontinue to conversation with his imposter. After hanging up, Shikamaru rested his back on the side of a building. He slowly slid down until his bottom was firmly set on the ground. He set his arms on his knees and rested his head on them. The confused and runaway brunet just couldn't take it anymore. He began to slowly but silently cry and sob, which was the first time ever since he found out that his mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. A light, warm stream of tears began to secrete from his eyes and run down along his smooth and cool face. The stream found it's way to the ground. Oh my god… I just… I just… I just don't know what's happening to me anymore... Am I even me anymore? Is this really reality or just a sick joke? I still remember from my shinobi training back in the day that one shouldn't show his emotions… but dammit, this is just one of those times where I can't take it anymore!
Wiping the tears away from his face and sniffing, Shikamaru began to look up at the clear and dark late spring night sky. I wish I could just go back into time and enjoy the days where I can just lay there on the big grassy field and go cloud watching with Na— The sobbing brunet interrupted his own musing as he almost mentioned the name of his ex-lover, Naruto Uzumaki. That's it! Even though I haven't talked to him in like forever, maybe he can help me get out of this troublesome situation. I mean, when I was with him, it was the best time of my life… and he is my last hope on this planet… Oh god, I hope he still has the same number. Shikamaru proceeded to dial the number of his former lover. The phone rang for a couple of times before an answering machine came up
"Hi, this is Dr. Naruto Uzumaki! Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but just leave your name and number and blah blah blah, you know the drill dattebayo."
BEEP
"Naru-kun, are you home...? Please be screening… please be screening… please—"
"Hello? Hello? This is Naruto…" A pleasant sounding voice came onto the other side of the line. It made Shikamaru smile as hearing the voice of the person he once loved was a big time relief.
"Hey Naru-kun, it's me, Shika-kun… Listen, I need your help… I'm in a big time troublesome situation right now…"
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C'est la fin du chapitre 8!
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Sweet, you've finished Chapter 8! Awesome props to you!
Post-Author's Note #1: Oh no! Our beloved Shikamaru is now a runaway fugitive! With the police and Sasuke chasing after him, he can only turn to his former lover, Naruto. Will Naruto be able to help Shikamaru out? Can Shikamaru get his own life back? And who is this imposter posing as Shikamaru in San Francisco? STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER OF The Net: Shikamaru's Nightmare!
Post-Author's Note #2: If you have any suggestions or ideas for this story, don't hesitate to e-mail me. Otherwise, please review!
Post-Author's Note #3: Remember to check for an update tomorrow, Sunday, October 7, 2007 around late noon Pacific Time. Please be advised that there will be a lemon in the next chapter!!! Also the iPhone is a registered trademark of Apple.
Ja neh!!!
