Hi! I really, really appreciate all the reviews I've been getting, and I hope everyone who's been reading has enjoyed every bit of it. Thank you. Anyway, I'm debating with myself what to do as I continue this fanfic, and it's getting hard for me to decide. Should I do this, Should I do that, should I end it, keep going, I keep asking myself questions. I'd love it if people could send me what they think, maybe a few ideas on how to keep it going, how I should end it, when I should end it, some more exciting things to happen, etc. Please keep reading and reviewing. Thanks a lot to all of you
When we walk into the kitchen, Ivy is holding some pretty primrose flowers in one hand, and a vase full of water in the other, and is placing the flowers in the vase. Ash is on the floor sucking his thumb. Ivy is smiling. I look at the primroses with a sad expression, and Peeta stands closer to me. "Ivy, you done?" Ivy nods at her father and smiles at me. "Mommy…" She comes over to me after setting the flower-filled vase on the table, and whispers, "I was wondering if I could go watch the rest of the Games, then the Quell, then maybe some other things like the Mockingjay propos or something," she is looking at me worriedly. I nod and say, "Just don't let Ash watch, Honey. And I won't be coming in the watch with you, okay?"
"Okay. Where's Gale?" she asks. I sigh. "He's no longer allowed here, Ivy. He did something he shouldn't have done." Ivy understands as much as she can and walks back into the living room. Haymitch looks at me. "I'm going to go in there with her, Katniss. I don't think she should watch these terrible things all by herself." I smile. "Haymitch, you're a great man, you know that?" Peeta laughs and agrees. Haymitch rolls his eyes, but he can't hold back a smile and a wink as he walks into the living room, too.
Mother looks at me and smiles sadly. "I'm sorry about Gale. I really thought he was better than that. He used to be so understanding and now…" I shake my head and sigh as I say, "He's just changed, I guess. I don't know. But it's alright." I look at Peeta, smiling. "I've survived without Gale for so long. He wouldn't have been able to help me get through anything as you've been able to, Peeta. You know, I'd overheard you and Gale talking so many years ago when we were hiding in Tigriss's basement…He'd said that I'd choose the one I cant survive without…he was only half right…Because I also chose the one I cant bear to be separated from." Peeta smiles and he leans down to place a quick kiss on my lips. I look at Mother. She sighs and says, "I should probably go home…"
"No, Mom. I mean, why don't you stay the night at least?" I say. "I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too, Katniss." She says, and I give her a big hug.
Ash's voice reaches me now as he says, "Mommy, I'm sleepy." I sigh. Peeta says, "Sing him to sleep, Katniss. He likes that." I nod. Smile, and pick little Ash up, holding him like you would hold a baby. He giggles tiredly and says, "Sing, Mommy." Mother sits down in a chair beside the one that I sit down in, and Peeta stands over me. I start to sing the soft tune that I sang to Rue and have been singing to Ash whenever he can't sleep at night.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow. A bed of grass, a soft green pillow. Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes. And when again they open, the sun will rise."
Ash closes his eyes and yawns, and I know Mother and Peeta are watching me with sad eyes.
"Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you.
Deep in the meadow, hidden far away. A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray. Forget your woes and let your troubles lay. And when again it's morning, they'll wash away."
I hear the TV in the living room pause and Ivy appears in the doorway, a curious look on her face, followed by Haymitch, who watches me with understanding eyes. I finish the song.
"Here it's safe, here it's warm. Here the daisies guard you from every harm. Here your dreams are sweet, and tomorrow brings them true. Here is the place where I love you."
Ash is just falling asleep, his eyes are half closed. He tiredly reaches up to touch my face and say, "Mommy…why are you crying, Mommy?" But he then falls asleep. I hold him close and that's when I notice it is the first time he's ever asked me that. And I notice that I am crying after all. I feel Haymitch's hand on my shoulder. Ivy says quietly, "Mommy, I'm sorry." I know she means it. I shake my head and whisper, "Honey, nothing that has every happened to me has ever been your fault. You weren't thought of at the time." Ivy nods and says, "Okay…but I'm kinda glad for it, 'because you met Daddy. I wouldn't be here if that hadn't happened." I notice that she has a point. I say quietly, "I just wish it hadn't had to happen like that. But I am really glad to have fallen in love with your father." I hear Ivy say, "I love you, Mommy." And she hurries back into the living room, followed by Haymitch, who gives me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder before he follows her. Peeta helps me stand up and he says, "Here, let's take him up to his and Ivy's room." I nod, and Mother looks at me.
"Katniss…I just wanted you to know…" she begins. "…that I'm proud of you. I miss your sister and your father, but every time I look at you I know you have more to miss than I do. If I were to lose you, I'd be devastated. I'm sorry for not helping you take care of Prim after your father's death as much as I should have. I'm sorry I probably haven't been much of a mother these past several years or maybe even more. I want you to know that I'm expecting you to live a long, happy life, even long after I'm gone. I love you, Katniss." She smiles and walks into the living room to sit with Haymitch and Ivy. Peeta looks at me and smiles. I sigh, thinking about what my mother just said. The two of us carefully and quietly walk little Ash up to the room he shares with his sister, the room beside the one Peeta and I share. "Goodnight, Ash." I say as I carefully place my son in his toddler bed and cover him up with blankets. Peeta kisses Ash's forehead, then so do I. We tiptoe out of the room, turning the light off on the way out, and carefully, quietly, shut the door.
When we walk into the living room, hand in hand, Ivy quickly pauses the video. I notice she is now watching the Quell. I sigh and say, "Honey, it's okay; you can un-pause it." She shoots me an unsure glance but nods and pushes play. Peeta and I walk over to Haymitch, who stands up and walks with us to the kitchen.
"Is Ash asleep now?" Haymitch asks. I nod. Peeta nods as well. Then I say, "How is Ivy taking everything?"
"She's a bit startled at some parts, but I'd say that's normal. Once in a while, she's say something like, ;'Oh no, Mommy did that?' or get all worried about you two at parts such as when you almost ate those poisonous berries. Otherwise, fine." Haymitch looks at me after he has finished his response, and I say, "Good…" Apparently I look tired and exhausted because Haymitch says, "You two should go get some rest. Alright? Go on." He shoves me and Peeta toward the stairs then reenters the living room. The two of us retreat to our room, where I fall asleep in his arms as he strokes my hair.
