Run. Just run. Don't look back. The wind blew past my face and my feet hit hard against the pavement as I ran down the street. It was getting dark, and I needed to get to safety before the thing chasing me caught up. The sweat on my forehead dripped into my eyes and pavement scrapped against my shoes, almost making me trip.
The buildings of the town loomed into view right when I felt a claw on my ankle.
My eyes opened wide, staring up at the ceiling of Tegan's bedroom. The dream had shook me awake, thankfully. I laid there, rubbing my eyes and stretching out in the blankets. One of my arms stretched out across the bed, and my fingers felt around the mattress for Tegan, but I didn't find her. I looked at the bed next to me to find it empty. My heart beat quickly in my chest as I looked around the room, propping myself up on one elbow. Swinging my feet over the side of the bed, I placed them down on the carpet and slowly rose to my feet. My head still ached from the dream, and my whole body had that early morning sleepiness to it. I walked slowly out of the bedroom down the hall, being careful as I walked for I was a tad bit clumsy after just waking up, and soon I heard singing. I kept walking, and Tegan's voice rung out louder from the kitchen.
I walked through the doorway and silently watched Tegan sing at the stove. She was cooking something that smelled of bacon and syrup. The table had already been set - with plates and glasses of orange juice laid out. I giggled to myself at how Tegan twirled her hips as she sung into her spatula. She turned her head when she heard me laugh, and smiled at me brightly looking back at the frying pan.
"Morning Sara! I'm making pancakes, would you like some?"
I couldn't help but feel my face rise up in a huge smile. After everything that had just happened, she's still my sister. She's still the one who makes me breakfast and knows how to make me smile.
"Yeah, I'd love some." I said quietly. I walked over to the table and looked down at one of the plates. There was a piece of paper on it that read "Sara". I picked it up gently and studied the paper. Flipping it over, there was a fold. On the fold it read "Do not read until you are home alone". I was so temped to read it right then, but I knew Tegan had a reason for putting it here. Carefully, I folded it a few more times to fit it into my pants pocket, and then sat down at the table.
Tegan and I talked and ate breakfast together for a while - enjoying the food and the early morning sunshine. When there was a long silence, I kept my eyes on my plate and thought of something to say to fill the quiet air.
"I had the dream again last night.." Tegan looked up at me before putting a cut pancake in her mouth.
"The one about the thing chasing you?"
I nodded at her, and Tegan made a loud noise in response as she chewed her food. I watched her while poking my pancake, seeing how interested she was in her food. She didn't look up at me, and my fingers found the note in my pocket. I slid the tips of my skin over the sharp paper - desperately wanting to read what was inside. Maybe it was about last night. The thought of the bed came rushing back to me, feeling like a waterfall - like when you stand up too quickly after being upside-down. My head felt so heavy, but it felt so empty at the same time. I must have had an odd expression on my face because Tegan was looking at me. Her eyes stabbed into mine, making me swallow the lump in my throat.
She pointed her fork at me, still chewing. "Are you alright? You look pale."
My fingers twitched under the table, and my face felt warm. I barley felt like I could make words for some reason. My whole body just felt strange.
Touch, expression, eye dilation
My tongue felt dry when I tried to wet my lips to speak. The world around me was quiet, and the eyes from Tegan were the only real thing here.
Scent, rush, goose bumps
Air came out of my lungs - it came out sharply, without a tone. Just scratchy noises.
"Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little light headed." Tegan shook her fork at me after swallowing, "Do you want to go lie down?"
I looked down at my plate - at the food that Tegan had slaved away all morning to prepare for me. I hadn't even touched my orange juice, and had barely made a dent in my pancake stack.
Emotions, sensation, pulse
I couldn't help it - reliving the night at the table. Remembering every touch, every sound, every feeling. I felt so horrible to have the memories flying through my mind right now, and having Tegan mistaking them for discomfort.
Reaction, breathe, orgasmic
The morning soon disappeared after Tegan and I joined each other on the couch to watch tv together all day. I soon found myself back at my temporary home. A small apartment I stayed in while we were in L.A. to record. I sat on my bed, starring of into space. Still the only thing on my mind was the night before. About how it would impact my relationship with my sister, what others would think if they found out, how the media could ruin our band.
My head was swimming with horrible in yet wonderful thoughts, making me rest my head down on my pillow. As I laid in the dark in my bed, I suddenly remembered the note in my pocket.
I slid my hand into my pants pocket and pulled out the now crumpled piece of paper. It felt ruff in my hands, and my sleepy eyes tried to focus on my written name.
I took a breath when I read the instructions again. Opening the small paper flap, I read the note silently to myself. There wasn't much to the phrase that was written, but the meaning it had to me made my eyes feel pressured; glossy. I ran my finger over Tegan's handwriting, re reading the words over and over again. I finally just had to read the words aloud to myself, to hear them - even if they were just in my voice.
"I love you too." I read with a small smile and sigh.
