A/N: I'm getting tired of writing this fic, and quite frankly I have too many stories running at a time already. And technically, this fic is against the site rules. So, I'm going to be discontinuing-
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" Badgerfang yowled at the top of his lungs. "YOU'RE DISCONTINUING THIS?"
(weary sigh.) Yes, this is being discontinued. You should be happy, considering you won't be forced to obey my every which whim-
"Wait one diddly damn second right there." Firestar butted in. "You're seriously not going to tell the people whether Alderpaw gets home?"
Uh-
"And what about answering everyone's questions?" Hollyleaf added from behind the camera. "Don't they deserve a response after waiting patiently for so long?"
How did you get that camera in here? I thought I locked that in the-
"And what about the Hitler contest?" wept Alderpaw, actually lying on the floor crying dramatically. "Everyone murdered Hitler in such beautiful ways, and you're not going to tell them who won?"
Oh, fine! One last episode to take care of all of that, and then this is over.
"And stop talking in that bold text." Firestar's eyes narrowed. "Thinking you're all high and mighty..."
I am the author and I do control everything happening in this fic...
"So what? You've been talking normally like us for all seven episodes before this, isn't it a little strange?"
"Fine," the author snapped. "Just remember that I'm only writing this last episode out of the goodness of my heart, and one wrong move and this ends prematurely."
"Sure." Badgerfang rolled his eyes. "Can we get to the show now?"
"Welcome back to the final episode of the Warriors Fanfiction Advice Guide Show." Firestar intoned in a somber voice, not even bothering to hide his cue cards. "Before we answer everyone's questions like normal, first we will tell you who won the Murder Hitler contest. Of course, everyone killed him in such beautifully violent ways, but we could only choose one winner... and three runners-up." added the ginger tom. "So without further ado, the victors are..."
Runners-up: SylviaHunterofArtemis, Childish 'paw, River of Broken Souls
Winner: A Silver Nightmare
"And now, we'll proceed to our normal question-answering."
Wildstar93: I'm really liking this, and I like the comedy. Now I got a question: say that in a Fanfic about a Clan kit being abused, he/she decides never to go back to the Clan. What would happen to him/her?
Keep up the great work!
"Realistically, a kit alone in the wild probably wouldn't last a quarter-moon unless they became a kittypet." Firestar shrugged. "However, the Erins aren't realistic with quite a lot of scenarios they set up, and they don't know crap about cat genetics (that's not relevant), so you don't have to be realistic either. Some kindly loner or rogue might end up taking the kit in and teaching them how to survive, or alternatively a cruel rogue could mutilate them and then they would end up like Scourge. Alternatively, this kit could try setting up their own Clan once they're old enough. Or they could just become a kittypet. Your choice."
Snowcrystal of ThunderClan (Ch. 3): How much school talk/doing should I have in my 'Warriors High: The Next Generation' story?
Firestar shrugged. "It depends on how faithful you're going to remain to the original books. If they're going to basically be copies of the books set in a school, with certain events like battles paraphrased to fit school-like events, then it should fit into the storyline. On the other hand, if it's only loosely based around the books and only the personalities of the characters are the same, then it doesn't really matter."
Snowcrystal of ThunderClan (Ch. 4): I like the reference to Back to the Future! Also, what is the Dovewing Challenge?
"How do you expect us to know?" Alderpaw yowled from the back of the room. "Whatever it is, considering the date of your review it's probably already over."
Snowcrystal of ThunderClan (Ch. 7): Ha! Make More, please! And maybe answer my questions. What should I do on my 'Snowkit's Fate'? I have a main idea of what they to do... I just do not know how to get thief. Don't read the rest of this if you do not want Spoilers. I was thinking that cats start to get corrupted. Idk... Help?
Badgerfang began playing "Illuminati Confirmed" music.
"What is it, Badgerfang?" Firestar asked with a sigh.
"Corrupted." Badgerfang intoned. "Corruption. There is corruption in the government. The president is in the government. Donald Trump is the president. Donald Trump is a jingoist. Jingoism. The term jingoism emerged in England in the 1870s. 1+8+7+0=16. 6+1=7. "Jingoism" has four syllables. 7-4=3. The Illuminati triangle has three sides. Therefore, this corruption, should it be used in this story, will be caused by the Illuminati."
"We need to stop you from watching so many Peladophobian videos." the author sighed.
"Not like I had anything better to do over our six-month break." Badgerfang retorted.
"To answer your question, Snowcrystal," Firestar continued, "while cats becoming corrupted is not an unusual occurrence in Warriors fanfiction, if you can put a unique spin on it, it should work."
"And that concludes our final show." Firestar spun a complete 1-million degrees on his swivel chair and went flying off into the ceiling. He swore loudly.
"That wasn't very nice." commented Hollyleaf, ending the recording.
Blaring his air horns loudly, Badgerfang dragged Alderpaw into the reconstructed TARDIS. "Time to take you back in time to the first book." he sighed.
"Wait, back in time?" yowled Alderpaw.
"Yep! You've been here so long the first two books of your arc have already been published!"
Alderpaw opened his mouth, and the hills were alive with the sound of uncensored profanity. Which was weird, because they were inside the TV studio, not in the rolling hills of Austria. VolcanicPizza wished he was in Austria. Lots of extra credit opportunity for his German class and all, plus the local cuisine.
Setting the dial for early 2016, Badgerfang shrugged. "Let's hope this works."
The TARDIS began to glow, and that was all that happened as a sudden burst of light erupted from the wall, and a chrome-colored DeLorean skidded through the wall and smashed into the TARDIS, exploding it into pieces for no reason and singeing its occupants, who by all rights ought to have been blown to bits.
"What?" Badgerfang pulled himself out of the rubble. "Who was that?"
The gull-wing doors of the DeLorean hissed open majestically, fog covering the room.
The cat that stepped out of it was quite familiar. Remarkably so...
"Oh, fudge, not this again," Hollyleaf moaned.
He was also quite obviously yet another Alderpaw, but from even farther in the future.
For absolutely no reason, the DeLorean exploded. Certainly wasn't because of the rocket launcher VolcanicPizza was holding. In fact, he never even was holding one. What are you talking about? He had no rocket launcher, and he certainly isn't holding a knife at your throat right now and mouthing at you to say yes, there was no rocket launcher. Right?
The Alderpaw who probably wasn't named Alderpaw anymore from the future and the Alderpaw from the past looked at each other and promptly fainted.
"Well, that's a perfect spot to leave on a cliffhanger." Hollyleaf said sarcastically, "especially because the author's never going to write the rest of this."
THE END
Sequel coming...
Maybe...
Eh, don't count on it.
