CHAPTER EIGHT
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The ceremony had been rather annoyingly beautiful and Hermione had gone through the motions of applauding the newly married couple before attempting to make a hasty exit lest she completely fell apart. Her route was blocked by smiling couples though and at first she had politely moved aside for them, but as her desperation for escape mounted, she began to roughly push past them as she made her way to freedom. Just as the opening in the tent came into sight, Hermione was stopped in her tracks by the sight of Neville, guiding his date toward her direction with what looked like his hand on her lower back. Hermione felt her emotions start to win the race to escape as he turned, freezing himself when he saw her there and she blinked, staring into his eyes as her tears burst forth.
"Hermione," came a voice from her left and she turned to see Harry approaching, accompanied by the last person she needed to see, "Ron wanted to… Hey, are you ok?"
"What's up?" Ron asked and Hermione, her mind apparently choosing to vent some of its anger, glared at him as she wiped her tears away.
"What's up? Are you seriously asking me that?" She snapped, "you invited me here purely to humiliate me and guess what! It worked! Here I am, completely on my own in a tent with hundreds of fucking couples, just because you were enough of a fucking bastard to not allow me a plus one. Are you happy now?!"
"What-" Ron gasped, his eyes growing wide as Hermione's voice rose in volume.
"Hermione!" Harry hissed, cutting Ron off mid sentence, his eyes flitting to the crowd who had fallen silent as she shouted.
"Why did you even want me here?" She cried, throwing her arms out, "wasn't it mortifying enough for the whole world to know that I wasn't good enough for you? Isn't it enough to know that you've got the beauty and ditched the boring ex? What did you hope to achieve by doing this?!"
"I didn't-"
"I'm really happy for you, Ron," Hermione said, her voice now almost silent as her eyes watered, "but right now, I really have to go."
She sighed, keeping her eyes on the ground as she turned and walked out of the tent. She couldn't be here, around couples who only served to remind her how she had ruined everything with her fear. She definitely couldn't be around Neville and whoever the hell he was there with, a woman so beautiful that she made Hermione feel like a troll. Not knowing where to go, she picked a random direction and just kept walking until she was stopped by a body of water that prevented her going any further. Falling to her knees, she covered her face and wept.
Eventually, her tears dried up and she simply sat, staring out over the water and trying to figure out where everything had gone so wrong. She was almost certain that, if she hadn't so brazenly propositioned Neville on the night of the ball, none of this would be happening and she felt so much anger at herself for her actions. Far more anger than she felt for Ron for inviting her here to embarrass her. More than she felt toward Neville for moving on after making her love him. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there, glumly watching the sun set, when she heard footsteps behind her and sighed.
"Please leave me alone." She sighed, not turning around or caring to see who had joined her.
"I don't think I should, somehow," came Neville's voice and Hermione, surprised that he had come after her, whipped her head around to look at him, "what are you doing out here?"
"Why do you care?" She muttered brokenly, turning away from him once more, "shouldn't you be in there with your date? She's beautiful, by the way."
"Of course I care!" Neville snapped and Hermione snorted, shaking her head, "I told you how I feel about you, Hermione. Why the hell would you think I wouldn't care?"
"Seems you've moved on well enough," Hermione sighed, looking down and playing with the grass in front of her, "found someone far better than me, haven't you?"
"You mean Anna, right?" He asked tiredly and she nodded, "Anna Longbottom, my second cousin on my dad's side of the family. Who, by the way, is only here because I'm too much of a coward to ask the one woman I wanted here with me, that's you by the way, and my Gran forced her on me at the last minute."
"Your…" Hermione trailed off, listening as he stepped closer and collapsed down on the grass next to her.
"My cousin, Hermione," he sighed, looking at her carefully before he muttered, "I haven't wanted anyone other than you for seven years, so why would I start now?"
"I saw you with her and…" she trailed off, rubbing her forehead with a deep sigh, "I feel like an idiot."
"You shouldn't," he shrugged, nudging her with his shoulder, "I have to admit, it was nice to see you lay into Ron. It's definitely about time."
"Oh god," Hermione groaned, dropping her face into her hands, "I've ruined his bloody wedding day!"
"I doubt it," Neville snorted, shaking his head, "last I saw, he was being thoroughly snogged in the middle of the dancefloor. Besides, he deserved it after the stunt he pulled."
"He's such an arse," Hermione sighed and Neville nodded in agreement, "I feel like today has been a complete disaster."
"Not completely," he smiled, nudging her again, "look, it's got us acting normal around each other again."
She nodded, frowning down at the grass as she realised that this was the first time since they had slept together that they had spoken without any awkwardness between them.
"I guess that's true," she smiled, looking up at him for the first time, "I'm really sorry for… Well, everything."
"It's not your fault," he shrugged, smiling, "I'm just glad that we're still friends, you know?"
"Friends," Hermione said, her voice cracking as a lump rose in her throat and Neville frowned at her as she sighed, "what if I don't want to be your friend?"
"Oh," Neville said, his face falling as he took in her words, continuing as he stood up, "I understand, I'll just-"
"No!" Hermione gasped, grabbing his hand and stopping him from walking away, "I don't mean like that, Neville. I mean… what if… well, what if I wanted to be more than friends?"
"Sorry?" Neville gasped, looking down at her with wide eyes, "Hermione, what-"
"I thought I could hide it, like you did and everything would be fine," she blurted, scrambling to her feet in front of him as he watched her in shock, "I thought that if I didn't admit it to anyone else, or myself for that matter, then I could ignore it and be able to live with being your friend. But seeing you and… Your cousin. Neville, it hurt! I don't know why, but it did!"
"I don't…" Neville croaked, dragging his hand down his face before looking at his other hand, still held in hers, "what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that I haven't stopped thinking about you since we slept together and I've been driving myself crazy trying to stop, but I think I love you!" She cried, tears falling down her cheeks as Neville's jaw fell slightly open, "and hell, I'm still fucking terrified of losing you but if-"
Suddenly, Hermione was cut off by a sob and Neville yanked her toward him, crashing his lips down on hers. She whimpered against his lips as his hand came up to tightly fist in her hair, her own hands moving to desperately cling onto anything they could. As his tongue swept across her bottom lip, Hermione sobbed herself and Neville made an echoing noise as he pulled away, pushing his forehead against hers. For a while, they stood together, breathing raggedly as they held onto one another for dear life, before Neville cleared his throat.
"You haven't been drinking, have you?" He asked and Hermione snorted, shaking her head against his.
"No," she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him, "not this time."
Neville nodded and she felt his hand move to his back pocket as he reached, presumably, for his wand. She was expecting him to apparate them away, but she was surprised when he took a step backwards, before taking her hand in his and putting his wand into it. To allow someone else to use your wand was an incredibly intimate gesture, almost as intimate as sleeping together and Hermione looked up at him, stunned.
"I need this." He whispered and Hermione, a slow smile spreading across her lips, dropped the hand holding his wand to the side and pushed herself up to kiss him as she flicked it, apparating them directly into her flat.
