8. It's Complicated
Clarke's head pounded against the inside of her skull and an unpleasant taste lingered in her mouth. She stumbled across the apartment, holding up one hand to shield her eyes from the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows. The clock hanging on the wall proclaimed the morning had been and gone. In her efforts to forget about Finn and Lexa, she had drunk more than she had since her first year at college. But now her body was not quite so equipped to cope with it.
We've got to all stick together
Good friends, there for each other
Never ever forget that
I've got you and you've got me, so
Reach for the stars
The song bellowed from beneath the table. Clarke growled Octavia's name as she ducked down, fishing in the pockets until she felt the phone in her hand.
Climb every mountain higher
Reach for the-
"Yeah?"
"Clarke, where have you been? This is the third time I've called."
"Mom? I'm sorry, I was-" She couldn't tell her mom she'd been sleeping off a hangover. She could imagine the disappointment well enough - quickly followed by questions of how much she had been drinking. "I was studying."
"I thought your exam was yesterday?"
"It was. But I still need to study."
"Ah, okay. Well Thelonius said you're doing well. I'm sorry I can't talk long - I just wanted to check if you were visiting your dad this weekend? He said you hadn't been to see him in a few weeks."
A wave of guilt washed over Clarke. The past weekend she had been studying. The weekend before had been her fateful first date with Finn. And before that she had been helping Octavia move in with Lincoln.
"Yes, I'll visit him."
"He said something… about a date? With a boy from the air force?"
Clarke pushed the phone away from her face so her mom couldn't hear her muffled groan. There was a good reason she had mentioned it to her dad and not her mom.
"Yes mom."
"Well I'd quite like to know these things, Clarke. I'm your parent too. Is he nice?"
"Kinda."
"Only kind of?"
"Just forget it mom!" Clarke snapped, pressing her palm to her forehead and collapsing in one of the chairs at the table.
"Alright, just… Let me know next time, okay? Are you taking your medicine? Have you been to the doctors?"
"Yes, and yes. She said it's all fine, no need to go back again."
"Okay, just- oh I'm sorry Clarke, I have to go. I need to be in surgery. You should come to dinner one night this week."
"Okay mom."
"Bye!"
"Bye."
Clarke brought the phone down from her ear with a sigh. As if her love life wasn't complicated enough without her mom sticking her nose in.
Her love life.
Lexa.
The phone call.
"Oh god."
Clarke clicked open the call history, which confirmed what her blurred memories had already told her. She had drunk dialled Lexa last night. She pulled up a new text and started typing. If Lexa refused to accept her apology, at least she had tried to make things right.
I'm so sorry.
For the drunk dial, I mean. And also leaving so fast yesterday. I think I might have said sorry for that last night?
You survived the night then
Yes. I'm sorry. I haven't been that drunk in years.
Clarke waited with baited breath, staring down at the screen. She saw Lexa start to type a message a few different times before a reply finally came through.
It's okay. You're not the kind of drunk I would have expected.
...what would you expect?
Again, she had to wait. Was Lexa struggling to reply, or was she just busy?
Less excitable? You wanted to be an astronaut.
An astronaut? Oh… yes. The stars. That explained the ringtone.
Really though. I didn't mean to run out like I did yesterday
You could have just said no
It's complicated.
Clarke hesitated, her thumbs hovering. She wanted to tell Lexa the truth - even though every inch of her normal brain was screaming at her that it was a bad idea, that she didn't know Lexa, that she couldn't trust her. She typed anyway.
I got a letter from that guy I went on a date with the same morning. Asking for another chance
Then exam then you asked me out. It was all a bit much
Anything like a date just seems… Like it has too much potential to go wrong atm
It felt like she was digging herself into a hole. After five minutes of no reply, Clarke dropped her phone on the table to stop herself writing anything worse and walked into the kitchen. She reached for cereal, then put the box back down and picked up a banana instead. Anything more substantial felt like a bad idea with her stomach still roiling. She peeled it slowly, rearranging the magnets on the fridge so they lined up and taking small bites.
From the other room, her phone beeped. Clarke made the effort not to run, turning to drop the banana peel in the bin then walking over to the table.
Well then do you want to go on not a date? We could go grocery shopping. That's not a date.
Grocery shopping
We can talk.
Do you just want someone to help carry bags?
I can carry bags without anyone's help
Indra won't give you death stares if we're not at 12 Trees
Why does she give me death stares?
She thinks - well, it's complicated.
Good to know that she wasn't the only one with complications. And Lexa had explicitly said this wouldn't be a date. Bellamy's voice from last night came back to her.
" Choose because they make you happy."
Ok, grocery shopping.
Not today. I need silence. Silence and water
Tomorrow?
I'm flying in the morning. I can come in the afternoon though.
Ok, 2pm. Meet at 66 pier.
Don't break your phone again
Sorry this is so short... there was originally going to be another scene in this chapter, but as I didn't finish it that will turn into tomorrow's chapter. Thank you for all the feedback and comments so far, it's much appreciated :)
