Mademoiselle Medic

Naruto has just returned from a B-rank mission. Although he's officially still just a genin, Tsunade trusted him enough to even take an individual A-rank mission, with a note that the mission doesn't involve anything else other than smashing things to smithereens. Because of Naruto's brash nature, it would most likely be impossible for him to complete the job ninja-like. Thus, Tsunade agrees to give him high rank missions only if it's about destroying stuffs any way the client likes, which are rare of course.

That day, he just returned from a B-rank mission which consisted of destroying a band of notorious robbers near the borders. As expected, he returned rather cheerful. Content with going all out during his last mission, Naruto reported back to Tsunade, his Hokage.

"Baa-chan! I'm back!" he said cheerfully as he saluted the 'youthful' Hokage, Tsunade just glared at him.

Naruto noticed her glare and asked dumbly, "what?"

Tsunade glared more intensely then retorted with a popped vein, "not 'what?', you brat! How many times do I have to tell you NOT to call me granny all the time!? Do you want to end up in the hospital that bad, huh!?"

Naruto shuddered and just grinned innocently, "ehehe, sorry, sorry— but aren't you like over fif-…"

A swift movement suddenly went passed Naruto's left cheek, creating a small scratch. A pen just flew passed him by and ended planted half deep in the wall behind him and made a small crater around it in the process. Tsunade's arm was extended in a throwing manner and killing intent surrounded her, she was beyond pissed, "— you were saying?"

Naruto sweat dropped and decided to shut his mouth, "… nothing…"

Afterward, Naruto began his report. When he's done, Tsunade nodded casually and wrote on a piece of paper. Naruto waited to be dismissed but Tsunade stayed quiet, "Ano— Tsunade-baachan?"

Tsunade automatically glared daggers at Naruto upon hearing him using the taboo word. Naruto gulped and shuddered.

"What!" Tsunade replied angrily.

"Uh, can I go now?" he asked, sweating.

"Not yet"

"Eh? Why? Do I have another mission?" Naruto whined but when Tsunade glared once again, he looked away and shut his mouth.

"No, I'm filling a medical check-up form for you. Once I'm done, you go to the hospital and give this to the front desk, and then they'll do the rest…" Tsunade explained.

Naruto couldn't help but get confused, "— medical check-up?"

"Yes" Tsunade replied curtly.

"… Medical check-up…" Naruto repeated.

"Yes!" Tsunade replied, now sounding annoyed.

"But for what? I feel fine" Naruto said dumbly, pointing a finger at himself.

"I can see that just fine, thank you" Tsunade remarked sarcastically.

"Then?"

Tsunade got very annoyed she hit her table with her fist, "it's a new procedure stating that all shinobi upon returning from their missions must have a medical check-up to make sure that they're in perfect condition! It's such a drag from my part because I have to fill this form for those who haven't done it yet! Damn Shizune with her ideas…"

Naruto could only stand there with a dumb look on his face as he blinked a few times. Tsunade ignored him and just cursed under her breath. She handed Naruto the form and waved a hand dismissively, gesturing for him to leave. Naruto, still looking dumb got out of her office.

"… Well not to insult Shizune-neechan but it is a dumb idea…" he mumbled in front of the Hokage's office.

"DON'T SQUAT IN FRONT OF MY OFFICE, NARUTO! GET GOING ALREADY!" Tsunade shouted loudly from inside her office, causing Naruto to fall forward and upon standing up, quickly ran toward the hospital with a quick 'YES!'


Naruto stood in front of Konoha hospital. He stared at the doors with an apathetic look on his face and then sighed heavily, "— I so don't want to go in"

He looked up and then released another heavy sigh. Naruto decided to go in before he's wasting any more time. He gave the paper to the nurse in charge at the front desk. The nurse studied the paper momentarily before putting the data on a book. After she's done, she instructed Naruto to go to the second floor and enter the room on the right at the end of the corridor.

Naruto nodded droopily and made his way to the designated place. When he knocked on the door, a tender female voice replied, the tone hinting the person to enter, "yes?"

Naruto opened the door to reveal Shizune, sitting on a stool beside the bed. She was wearing her usual kimono but with a lower cut, revealing her soft-looking thighs and she also wore a long white overcoat that covered most of it. Naruto took a moment to examine her. He thought that something was a bit different from her and soon realized that it must have been her white overcoat.

"Naruto-kun?" Shizune called out, snapping the blond from his thoughts, "y-yes!"

"Are you here for the medical check-up?" Shizune asked gently as she motioned him to come in, seeing that Naruto stood still at the front door.

"Un— so are you going to be…?" Naruto trailed, trying to find the right word. (A/N: although it's actually the author who's trying to find the word, really… should it be examiner? doctor? I don't know...)

Shizune smiled and replied gently, "yes I am, now if you would lie on the bed, please" Naruto nodded and clumsily walked over to the bed, almost tripping on his own foot.

After he lied down, Shizune started to ask Naruto to do various things from moving his feet to holding his breath to giving her a striptease, but not really (A/N: thought I was serious didn't you?). After a few minor check-ups, Shizune began the second phase and ask some questions, "alright, the check up's done for now— so how was your mission?"

"My mission? It was a blast! I defeated all those robbers without even breaking a sweat! It was good exercise although it could've been better, like fighting a missing-nin or something like that—" Naruto replied happily, showing his infamous foxy grin.

Shizune just smiled warmly as she put down her chart, "is that so? I'm glad to hear that"

"Yeah, but I've been wondering, Shizune-neechan— I heard that this medical check-up was your idea, so what's your reason?" Naruto asked, a finger scratched his cheek.

Shizune pondered for a moment and replied casually, "No particular reason really— all shinobi after returning from their mission would go to the hospital either way so I guess it's not really necessary…"

Naruto sat up, "Eh? Then why, dattebayo?"

Shizune blushed slightly as she turned her eyes away from meeting Naruto's 'innocent' gaze, "well— it's a bit embarrassing…"

"Eh? Why? Can't you tell me?" Naruto asked more vigorously, not noticing the blush on her cheeks. Shizune fidgeted and stole glances before she spoke again, "— promise not to laugh and tell anyone?"

A sweat fell down as he braced himself with whatever (idiotic) reason Shizune would want to suggest a thing such as a mandatory after-mission medical check-up, "I promise I won't laugh and tell anyone" he said with resolve.

Shizune hesitated for another second before deciding to tell him, "— actually I…"

Naruto gulped, bracing for the truth and Shizune continued, "— it's because I— it's because I want to wear this white coat to work…"

The room went silent.

Still silent.

A bee flew around the room for a good minute. It landed on top of Naruto's head for a few seconds and appeared to be dancing before it flew out of the window, looking rather satisfied for being able to make an appearance in this fic.

Still silent.

A stranded monkey entered the room from the window, ate a banana while looking idiotically at Naruto and Shizune, threw the skin outside the window, scratched his butt, yawned and then jumped out of the window and farted on the way, feeling content yet bored for appearing in this stupid fic.

Still silent.

Shino randomly appeared from outside the window, doing nothing and then disappeared from the window, feeling… nothing.

Still silent.

Naruto, still with a serious face, then broke the silence, "— and?"

Shizune looked down feeling embarrassed, her cheeks flaring red, "… that's it…"

"… That's it…" he repeated, a dumb expression pasted on his face.

Shizune nodded.

"… You suggested to baa-chan this ridiculous check-up thing just to get to wear a long funky-looking, white-ish doctor overcoat" Naruto asked, pointing a finger at Shizune.

"Well, I don't think it's ridiculous, but aside from that— yes" she replied, looking down in embarrassment even more.

Naruto: (O.o)

"What the hell!? Just for a long funky-looking, white-ish doctor overcoat!? Shizune-neechan, you can wear that anytime and everywhere you want, you know!?" Naruto snapped and Shizune retorted.

"Eeh!? But, it's too embarrassing to walk around the village looking like this! I won't be able to show my face in public again! Besides, I think it's cute and I can even do some cosplay if there're no patients!"

Complete silence. Naruto blinked a few times. Shizune blinked twice then blushed again, real hard. She slapped her mouth and looked at Naruto nervously while sweating profusely.

Naruto blinked again.

"… Cosplay…?"

Shizune suddenly acted awkwardly, she flailed her arms around trying to explain herself but words won't come out.

"Pffftttffftttthfff…" Naruto stifled when he tried to suppress his laughter, Shizune still blushing, showed an annoyed look on her face and slightly trembled. She pointed a finger accusingly at Naruto.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!" Naruto couldn't contain his laughter anymore and laughed out loud, a tear even formed in the corner of his eyes.

"Aaah! You promised you won't laugh, Naruto-kun! You're mean!" she said as she tried so hard to repress her embarrassment.

Naruto couldn't stop laughing for the next few minutes. Shizune had already decided to just wait, mortified, until he couldn't laugh anymore. When his laugher died down, he was still laughing inaudibly as he clutched onto his stomach, probably imagining Shizune doing some cosplay poses in her empty office. Shizune just growled for letting one of her secrets getting revealed so easily.

"I hate you, Naruto-kun" Shizune pouted.

Naruto, still trying to suppress his laughter, tried to talk, "bwahaha… I'm so-… pfft… sorry, nee-chan, but… ahahaha… I just— can't stop imagining you… pffftcosplayingkhhh"

Shizune then turned around and pouted some more, giving Naruto the silence treatment. Realizing that he's gone too far, he stopped laughing and suddenly hugged Shizune from behind. His sudden act surprised the brunette medic as she turned her head slightly, enough to see Naruto's eye "N-Naruto-kun!"

"I'm sorry for laughing at you, Shizune-neechan, I didn't think of your feelings at all— I'm sorry—" he whispered to her ear, still hugging her gently, "— if this could somehow make you feel better— you know, when I first entered this room, when I saw Shizune-neechan, I thought that you looked very cute and sexy with that white coat…"

Shizune blushed harder as he whispered those words to her ear, "… Naruto-kun…"

She would be melting if things stayed that way but yet once again, Naruto's stomach got to interfere.

GRRRRRRKRKRKRKRKRRRRRRRK

Naruto quickly released his hug from Shizune as he sat down again on the bed, looking somewhat embarrassed, "ehehe, sorry— I haven't eaten anything yet since I came back…"

Shizune looked back at him, equally embarrassed but soon giggled softly. Naruto just rubbed the back of his head, looking confused, "Shizune-neechan? Does this mean you've forgiven me?"

Shizune looked at him and smiled heartily, "yeah, don't worry— I'm not that upset to begin with, just felt embarrassed— someone's bound to find my secret sooner or later anyway, I'm just glad it's you and not that pervert Jiraiya-sama or Kakashi…"

"Eh? Kakashi-sensei? Why?"

"Oh forget it— say, you're hungry right? I haven't eaten anything yet either, want to go grab some food together?" Shizune offered.

Naruto's ears perked up like a fox upon hearing her offer, "definitely!"

"Any preferences, Naruto-kun?" Shizune asked as she stood up from her stool, "RAMEN!" Naruto quickly responded, his eyes sparkled even more than Lee and Gai combined.

Shizune chuckled some more, "alright— I assume that you already have reserved a place?"

"Definitely, Shizune-neechan! I know the best place in the entire world!" Naruto brimmed with excitement as he too, got out from bed.

"Alright then— since you laughed at me earlier, I'll let you treat me for today" Shizune grinned and formed a peace sign with her hand.

"Eeeeeeeehhhh!?"

Teh E.N.D