Note: Aaaand, here comes the answers (one of them, but the main one) for Mello's behaviour.

It isn't half as dark as I intended this fic to be, even if I respected what I had planned for Mello's reasons, but I realised that the details I was about to use here were very similar to what will be written in Stay Tuned and I don't want to plagarize myself XD
So I decided to just let Negative flow out of my mind without any kind of preparation. I ended up with something I'm satisfied with anyway. It's still a bit fluffy I suppose, seems I can't help it...

Next chapter will have the rest of Mello's reasons, and will also be the end of this fic :)


Matt didn't raise the topic at first, but noticed that Mello, by the way he was eating, was actually starving, and wondered, while sipping his beer, if he just didn't have money with him, or at all. Anyway, he was glad to see him fill his stomach and his cheeks return to a healthy colour, sort of. He still looked pretty tired though.
What worried him was that if, indeed, Mello was short on cash, then he would be until he got his next paycheck, and since he would have to get it at his agency (as far as he knew, that's how it seemed to be from what he had seen with other shootings), and that it was Friday, there was a possibility that he'd have to wait at best until Monday, or even longer depending on how things worked there. Fuck, he had to ask. He wouldn't be able to sleep soundly if he didn't.

"Mello... don't take it the wrong way, I just mean to help..." Matt started, cut by Mello's soft laughter, "What?"
"Don't get mad, don't take it the wrong way... each of your sentences begin like that." Mello explained, "Stop with this, I'm past getting mad at you, you know, I've made my decision."
"Your decision?" Matt looked at the other, puzzled.
"If you were the kindest person I've ever met, or the most annoying." Mello had a small smile on his lips, peeping through his bangs and gauging Matt's reaction.
"And I'm annoyingly kind, I know." Matt stated dramatically, giggling.
"And I feel like a piece of shit for taking advantage of your kindness, to be honest." Mello's expression became serious again.
"You're not. What kind of person would I be if I didn't try to help? I mean, you really had it bad today..."
"Just something I ate that made me sick."
"Mmh... don't... ah fuck. Listen, I'm not stupid, I can see that it's not something recent, I saw you shirtless, you know what I mean. It's not just something you ate, you lost like what? ten pounds? And you look like shit. I don't want to make you uncomfortable but I'm worried, you could lose your job, and you seem stone broke on top of that. I really want to help, even if I can understand that you feel bad letting me."

Mello stayed silent for a few seconds before standing up, frowning. "I gotta go. Thank you for everything." He grabbed his bag and left quickly, but this time, Matt ran after him, catching up with the model a little further up the street.
"Mello stop. How do you want me to believe that it's not important if you try to avoid the topic like that? If I can't help, then I'll leave you alone, but I'm sure that there's something I can do. Don't close yourself up. Your pride's not worth it."
"What do you want from me? Why do you even care?" Mello's voice was low, husky.
"I don't want anything from you, I want to give you something. Whatever you need. It doesn't have to hurt your pride, it's only help, not commitment."
Mello was still turning his back to Matt, his bag fallen on the pavement, his fist balling at his sides.
Seeing that the other wasn't saying a word, Matt tried to convince him further. He sensed that he was close to get Mello to open up: the model was still standing here, although silent. He wasn't running away.
"I can get on the annoying side if required, I can even resort to my lamest jokes, and that's a serious threat." Matt tried to lighten the atmosphere, but suddenly Mello turned around and threw himself against Matt's chest, sobbing. His forehead fell on the redhead's shoulder, who instinctively wrapped his arms around his neck, trying to comfort him. Mello's arms found Matt's waist, clutching at him, as he cried hard.
"Hey, shhh, it'll be fine, I promise..." Matt tried to soothe him, touched by the other's sudden breakdown. Mello was shaking under the heavy sobs escaping him, and Matt could feel that it wasn't only exhaustion or sadness, or even whatever problems Mello had that had him crumbling down, but anger. The way Mello gripped his shirt nervously, the tension in his whole body that he could feel against his, Mello was raging inside...

The model pushed Matt away, stepping back at the same time. He wasn't ready to give in apparently, Matt told himself, tired of this come and go game. Why couldn't Mello just accept to be helped?
Mello's face was wet with tears, his eyes half lidded as he looked straight at the redhead, full of anger. With a hand, he gestured at Matt, who was already walking to him, to stop, shaking his head, walking backwards slowly before turning around, picking up his bag and leaving.
Matt was disturbed by the way Mello's rage radiated from him, and the way he looked, awfully weak, only his pride keeping all the pieces together. But for how long?

But if he didn't want help, what could Matt do?
He was about to simply leave and go home. There was nothing more he could do at that point. Mello was too full of himself to take any hand held out to him. He was probably just a druggie in withdrawal or some eating disorder nutcase anyway, so why bother. Matt was no doctor.

But he was human, and a very caring one at that.
Turning on his heels, he wanted to catch up with Mello. Running up the street, he couldn't spot him though, Mello had already disappeared. Abandoning the idea of walking further, since Mello couldn't have put so much distance between them in so little time, Matt went back on his tracks.
He froze when he saw Mello standing next to his car. The model had probably turned in the small alley close to the café without Matt seeing him, and had now come back.
Matt came closer, and realised that Mello was still crying, standing there, hunched, and looking at him through his bangs. He got a shock when he saw the expression in them: they were pleading.

Matt's heart wrung. It was probably taking so much from Mello to finally accept help, to let his pride aside, and even if he wasn't saying it, he was ashamed, Matt could tell by the look in his eyes.
Mello wept in his arms for a long time, and Matt could feel that he was slowly shifting his weight on him, telling him that Mello was properly falling to pieces, exhausted to his last limits. The fury was dying down, and had left nothing, burning the man to ashes. But Matt wouldn't be one to swipe them away with the tip of the foot.

Still with an arm around Mello's shoulders, he withdrew to walk at his side.
"Come on, I'll drive you home, and we can talk if you want."
Matt pulled Mello to his car, making him sit inside before reaching the driver's seat.
"Where do you live?" he asked, starting the vehicle.
Mello didn't reply, his slumped head raising, and he looked straight in front of him.
"Mello?"
"I... don't have a place to live right now." Mello grimaced, very uneasy to admit it.
"Okay."
Matt pulled out of his parking place, and drove away.

"Come in." Matt invited Mello in as he pushed the door of his apartment open.
Mello entered, still silent.
"Still no alcohol?"
"No..." Mello shook his head, barely looking at Matt, who went to fetch two cokes in his refrigerator. If Mello's stomach was disturbed, this would help.
"Sit down, put yourself at ease." Matt gestured to the couch, walking to it and depositing the drinks on the coffee table before sitting himself.
Mello sat at the other end of the couch, and Matt could tell how uncomfortable the situation made him.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Matt asked, "I'm not forcing you, I'll understand if you don't want to. Just know that you can stay here as long as you like. I can only offer you the couch to sleep on though."
"I've had it worse..." Mello chuckled sadly, "I'm not sure I want to talk about it, I... it's not really easy."
"Don't worry, it's okay if you don't."
"Thank you. For everything I mean... I feel so lame, I hate that." Mello brought his hands to his face, joining his palms in front of his mouth, his elbows resting on his thighs.
"Hey, shit happens."
"Yeah, I suppose..."

They sipped their drinks in silence, but the tension was still palpable, and Matt tried to make a diversion. They didn't have to talk about Mello's problems, and since he would apparently be spending the night here, Matt didn't have to worry anymore about him running away, he seemed to have accepted to be helped once and for all. Matt just wanted him to feel better about himself now, since Mello had seen his pride mistreated pretty badly, and it seemed to be an important issue for him.

"Okay, so now that my creepy pervert's plan has worked, I wonder what I'm gonna do to you..." Matt took a crooked expression, finally bringing a smile to Mello's lips.
"You're such a dork, but I've said it a lot already."
"Yep. I'm gonna start believing you." Matt winked at Mello, laughing.
"Are you always like that?"
"I suppose. It's not as if I was forcing myself you know, I'm naturally stupid." Matt smirked.
"I didn't mean it like that." Mello laughed softly, looking at Matt this time.
"Oh. Freak? Nutcase? Nerd?"
"I'd go for irresistible." Mello replied, Matt almost choking on his drink.
"Woah! Level up!" he coughed all while bursting out.
"Don't get carried away, I'm still trying to resist though." Mello backed off, his smile fading.
"I'll try harder then."
"Please don't. It would be a very bad idea." Mello sighed, crossing his legs and slightly hunching, giving Matt the impression that he was protecting himself, like in his personal bubble or something.
"I don't care that you're homeless, if that's what's bothering you."
"I wish it was only that."
"Still don't wanna talk about it I suppose?"
"No. Just... stop being so cute. That would help a lot."
"Aw now I'm cute. That's getting better!"
"I shouldn't have come."
"You won't be running away again, will you?"
"I want to, but... I don't know, if I leave, it would be like showing no respect for what you've done for me so far, but if I stay... I feel like taking advantage of you and..."
"And what?"
"I shouldn't even be here, I mean, I was already falling for you, and this is only making things worse and... you will probably think that I'm trying to get something from you now. Like... giving you something in exchange for your help."
"Shut up Mello."
"Matt I..."
"Shut up. And come here."

Mello hesitated. Matt could see his mind battling, and he did understand why it was so hard for Mello to just let things go their way. It wasn't just pride, but probably a long time of being on his own and never counting on anyone but himself. Homeless, broke, he didn't care for Mello's situation, he was just falling as well, or had fallen long ago already, most certainly. But now, with this new perspective, he wasn't trying to refrain it anymore, Mello had let the jerk outside, and was only his true self now. And Matt liked that person, a lot. Aside from being impossibly sexy, Mello had that fire, and that fragility at the same time, the kind that can only cohabit in the strongest persons, and Matt was aware that if Mello had broken down a little earlier, it was only because he was dead beat, and started to trust him. There's just so much a person can take...

Mello didn't seem to succeed in making his mind up, so Matt pulled him in his arms.
"You can back away anytime you want, but give it a chance at least. You want this, so just let it happen. Stop overthinking it. Whatever it is that's going on in your life, you're not alone anymore... I know we're not friends yet and I don't know where this is leading, but if you let me, I'll be here for you. As a friend, a boyfriend, you decide. But for now, just let me hug you. I promise, that will feel good. You might even like it."
Mello was staring at Matt, his eyes tired. The kind of 'exhausted-by-life' tiredness. He wanted to give in, but Matt knew something was still holding him back. But he gave in, finally.
"You never stop."
"No. Forever a dork." Matt chuckled, Mello snaking his arm around his waist, his head falling in the crook of his neck as Matt wrapped his arms around Mello's shoulders.

They stayed like this for a while, Matt playing with Mello's hair, his cheek resting on the top of his head, feeling the latter snuggle closer. Following the warm feeling spreading inside of him as he felt Mello shift slightly to look at him, he leant, pulling the blond's chin upward and tried to kiss him. But Mello stopped him as their lips were almost touching, his finger resting on Matt's own chin.
"It's a bad idea." he murmured.
"Why?"
"You don't want someone like me. Not like that."
"Tell me what's so wrong with you that I could possibly not want you..." Matt insisted.
Mello's expression darkened, and he averted his eyes.
"I've got AIDS."