Heya peeps, this is another short fanfic about our favourite 'Deadly Double-Act' which is based around the Roman origin of April Fools Day… it's the same deal as the others, I don't own Hercules (unfortunately) but I do own Persephone and other original characters and places that pop up during this short story…
I take things from both the film and series and remember, Disney twisted myths to create their storylines so I am tweaking some to make them fit the feel of Hercules…
Little hint: this story takes place somewhere during D.L.H and if you haven't read it or it's predecessors P.o.P or G.W.I you might get confused…
Enjoy and please review…
An 'April Fool's' Errand
Chapter Eight:So who's the April Fool?
…the following spring..
'Oh-hoh..' Icarus cried out gleefully. '-move over Titan Smitin' Day, Icky has a new favourite day of the year!' The mortal man with sticky-up hair and mismatching eyes began dancing around in a kind of happy jig.
'Why is it your only interested in holidays that keep the masses in hysterics?' Cassandra's monotonous voice sounded as Hercules chuckled amused by his best friend's antics.
'Is shorty here for real..' Meg smirked from her burly husband's other side, resting a hand on her huge pregnancy bump.
'Unfortunately..' Cassandra replied smiling at Meg.
'Cassandra! My sweet, sweet rose..' Icarus sounded eagerly while sliding up to the red-headed seer who scowled at him. '-would you care to join me as I play a little prank on Phil.'
'No thanks..' Cassandra replied with a very rare amused smile at her biggest admirer and part-time stalker. '-I don't need to look into the future to see how that's gonna turn out..'
'Uh, Icarus..' Hercules sounded with a nervous smirk. '-maybe you shouldn't play a prank on Phil..' The young hero knew fine well that Phil wouldn't take the joke with good humour. Ever since retirement the satyr liked a quiet life on his home island. It had taken a lot of pleading, aided of course by huge blue puppy-eyes, to convince the old goat to come and spend the first official April Fool's Day with them in Hercules' home in Thebes.
'Oh stop stifling him Herc..' Meg gave a little laugh of amusement while picking up a cup of juice and taking a sip.
'He's always doing that Meg.' Icarus sounded while throwing her the kicked puppy look.
'I am not!' Hercules scowled at his best friend. 'Name one time when I've done that..'
'Well..' Icarus tailed off into thought before he suddenly shook his head roughly. '-that's not the point! Your stifling me now!' Hercules shook his own head wearily at this.
'I'm not… really, I think it's great that you've got stuck into the spirit of April Fool's Day-' This of course was a massive understatement as the moment Icarus had arrived from his father's workshop in Athens the young inventor had been prancing about praising Hades for coming up with this topsy-turvy day where mischief and disorder ruled. In response to this a rather put-out Pegasus had now flown up a large chestnut tree and was refusing to come down until it was time to take Icarus home again.
'-It's just… maybe you could skip Phil..' The young hero sounded. '-he's just not the type of guy who'd appreciate a prank.'
'Skip Phil..' Icarus sounded as though this were a disaster. '-I can't skip Phil! The rules of April Fool's are clear.. Everybody must be pranked at least once-' He then uttered in a low voice. '-or they'll look a fool..'
Meg's violet eyes narrowed in devious amusement and the pregnant girl lent into Icarus uttering in a pitying tone,
'Oh don't you listen to Wonder Boy..' Meg pinched his cheek in an adoring fashion.'-if you want to go prank Phil, you go prank Phil.'
'Really? Ya mean it?' Icarus sounded eagerly. 'No foolin'..'
'Of course not, this is my home too..' Meg said in a sincere tone ignoring the look of shock on Hercules' face. '-now go get him tiger..' She added causing Icarus to make a soft growling noise before stalking off in the direction his best friend's wife was pointing.
'Meg!' Hercules sounded horrified.
'Sheesh Wonder Boy, let him have his fun, isn't that what this holiday is about?' Meg waved off her husband causing Hercules to make a low noise of irritation in the back of his throat before swivelling around at the sound of a loud splash.
'What the-?' Came Phil's surprised voice.
'April Fool's Baby!' Icarus' voice declared loudly.
'I'll April Fool you ya little putz..' The goat-man sounded infuriated and this was followed by a loud yell from Icarus.
'Oh boy.' Hercules sounded worried before running towards the sounds of the ruckus.
'You are seriously twisted..' Cassandra sounded smirking at Meg who returned it.
'Maybe..' She sounded lightly in agreement. '-but it's fun to see the nanny goat go nuts..'
'Totally..' The gloomy seer responded. '-perhaps today wasn't a complete loss after all.'
'What do you mean?' Meg asked as the two women walked slowly in the direction of Hercules who was obviously still trying to calm down his enraged mentor.
'Phil. Phil.. put Icarus down, it was only a simple prank..'
'The Oracle of Delphi decided that the Physic Friends Network would remain closed for April Fool's Day, apparently nobody wants advice on the future if they know they're going to be humiliated..'
'Heh, makes sense I guess..' Meg sounded amused.
'Yeh, first thing she's ever said that did.' Cassandra replied. 'So how come you two are house-bound, I thought Herc said something about you flying over to check out the Cerelia Celebrations in Rome.' Meg sighed heavily.
'Yeh… we were gonna see what the buzz was but-' Meg gestured to her pregnancy bump. '-with the baby due any day now Hippocrites said any kind of travel is out of the question, so here we are..' Suddenly Meg gave a grunt of pain causing Cassandra's deep green eyes to widen.
'Are you ok?' She asked concerned as Meg gripped a chair to support herself.
'I'll be fine, it's these darn hicks again..' She groaned breathing slowly waiting for the pain to pass.
'Uh Meg..' Cassandra sounded worried, suddenly noticing the puddle on the floor. '-that's not hicks..'
'What?' The pregnant girl's violet eyes widened as she too noticed the puddle at her feet.
'I'll go get Hercules..' Cassandra then ran outside to where Hercules was.
'Ahh.. Get him away from me Herc, he's got that hungry look in his eyes..' Icarus was pleading to his best friend now as Phil was snorting like the irritated goat he was.
'I got your prank Icarus.. right here!' Phil lowered his horns and charged at the spiky-haired man who screamed girlishly and ran behind Hercules. The young hero caught his mentor and lifted him up so the satyr could vent without hurting anybody.
'Phil, this is for your own good..' He sounded decisively as the satyr snarled and tried to break free. The young hero then turned at Cassandra appeared on the porch out of breath.
'The baby's coming..' She sounded frantically. For a brief moment the guys looked stunned, except Phil who was still venting. Icarus was the first to respond.
'Oh ha-ha-ha very funny honey..' He sounded amused winking at Hercules who shook his head amused at this lame attempt of an April Fool's joke.
'Why is it when I'm being serious you two think I'm joking..' She frowned folding her arms together tightly then as if on cue Meg screamed out in pain from inside the house.
'Oh my gosh, Meg..' Hercules sounded surprised, dropping a stunned Phil and running inside to his wife.
'Hey! Watch it, some of us have sensitive hides..' The goat-man grumbled as he got to his feet then turned to the two misfits beside him. 'So what's going on now?'
'Meg's having her baby..' Cassandra sounded panicked.
'So this isn't a really lame April Fool's prank?' Icarus sounded.
'No!' The red-headed seer glared back.
'Herc is gonna be a daddy..' Icarus sniffed emotionally. '-he's growing up so fast..'
'Ok, buddy don't get all emotional on me just yet..' Phil waved his hands to silence the pair. '-I need you two house-sit while we take Meg to Hippocrates, alright?' He sounded before turning to the chestnut tree and giving a sharp whistle.
'Yes sir..' Icarus sounded keenly with an over exaggerated salute.
'What is this a punishment?' Cassandra sounded faintly as Pegasus swooped down, scooped up Phil and flew off to get Hercules and Meg. The moment they were gone Icarus slid over to Cassandra wiggling his brows.
'So my sweet Casserole… I guess it's just gonna be you and me, all alone..' He grinned suggestively before Cassandra pushed him away roughly.
'Uh, don't make me sick..' She sounded before stalking off.
…meanwhile, on Olympus…
Hades was in a sickeningly cheerful mood this morning, granted he hadn't had a lot of sleep last night thanks to his wife being so restless but it didn't stop him from being in a perky mood. His wife on the other hand wasn't quite in such a lively frame of mind, Persephone was coming up to the three month mark of her pregnancy and if constantly succumbing to morning sickness wasn't bad enough her husband's elated humming was giving her a headache.
'Uh..' The pregnant goddess groaned as she and her husband took their usual place by a shady pillar for the Spring Celebrations. '-why do they call it morning sickness if you have to suffer it all the time?' She griped clutching her stomach feeling another wave of nausea wash over her, it was a miracle that she'd survived the chariot ride up here.
'Ah, I dunno.. probably some blonde bimbo's idea..' Hades waved off her question airily before noticing her sickly expression. 'Whoa baby you don't look so good..' He then rummaged around in his pocket for something before hauling out a large pack of crackers. '-here ya go, I brought ya some saltines..' He smirked as she accepted the packet.
'Oh, that's so sweet of you..' Persephone sounded pulling out one of the salty little biscuits and nibbling on it, feeling a little better for it.
Ah, heh..' Hades pulled on the neck of his chiton blushing a faint pink before returning to normal and adding, '-it was nothing babe, any decent husband would do it for his wife..' He suddenly coughed uneasily into his wrist and lent against the pillar as Zeus appeared on stage holding a scroll in his left hand.
'Hey, hey how about that?' Hades grinned widely. 'Saved by the Zeus..' He then turned away from his wife and shuddered. '-urgh, there's something I never wanna say again..'
'A new year has begun and to those who do not live here on Olympus, welcome back to the cloud..' Many of the non-resident gods including Poseidon and Amphitrite smiled and murmured a amiable acknowledgement to these words. Hades on the other hand sneered.
'Oh would ya look at that, he finally notices the little people.' His good mood seemed to be slipping with every word that spewed forth from Zeus' lips.
'Hmm..' Persephone sounded chewing on another cracker. '-better late than never I suppose..'
'In the spirit of this new beginning I feel we should leave any ill-feelings and arguments in the past and move into this new year with a clean slate..' Zeus was saying causing another murmur of agreement to ripple through the crowd. 'So without further ado let's take a look at the Deity Approval Ratings..' Zeus then unfurled the scroll causing some excited whispers to start up around the cloud. Apparently there was a lot of buzz about Demeter this year.
Hades grinned and rubbed his hands together complete with a serpentine leer twisted across his face.
'I gotta good feelin' about this year..' He sounded excitedly to his wife who shrugged in a non-committal sort of way, her mouth too full of cracker to speak.
'Now let's see here..' Zeus sounded frowning at the list of deities before smiling and adding in a low voice. '-well, I can see I've dropped a few notches..' His mouth twisted as though he had a bad taste it it and Hades snickered amused causing his blue flames to creep slowly down his shoulders.
'Ok, this years leading deity is Demeter..' The golden tanned god sounded proudly and the green-skinned Goddess of Nature repositioned her Horn of Plenty and gave a small regal wave as her fellows cheered and praised her.
'Congratulations to you Demeter-' Zeus broke off from his words as both Underworld deities chose to interrupt his best wishes with their own.
'Woo-hoo, you da goddess!' Hades shouted in approval practically lit up like some strange white and blue flamed beacon.
'That's my Mama!' Persephone squealed excitedly chapping eagerly. Demeter actually flushed with embarrassment at her subterranean family who she suspected were doing this deliberately to get a rise out of Zeus.
'Oh, thank you guys..' She sounded in a small voice acknowledging them before turning away.
'Moving along..' The golden tanned god sounded decisively slightly irritated by the Underworld's behaviour. Both Hades and Persephone shared an amused smirk but silenced so Zeus wouldn't be forced to bring the bolts out on them.
'And waay, way down at the bottom of the list is Ares God of War..' Zeus smiled apologetically at his red-skinned son who didn't actually seem to care. '-I'm sorry son, I guess nobody is that into war this time of year..' He chuckled amused at this.
'Ah don't worry about it Zeus, there's still plenty of time for a decent war to break out..' Ares sounded waving his father off dismissively and the golden god blinked surprised at his words before shrugging and carrying on.
'As for the rest of you Hermes our council scribe, has a few extra copies of the ratings list so you can check your positions later..' The tiny blue Messenger suddenly flew in and handed a scroll to various gods including Hades before zipping over to Zeus looking excited.
'Hah!' Hades sounded gleefully as he unfurled the scroll. 'Zeus has plummeted down to sixth position..' The fiery god snickered amused. '-right below us..' He pushed the scroll in front of Persephone's face so she could see the list:
Deity Approval Ratings: MCDXXVII OTC
Demeter
Aphrodite
Cupid
Hera
Hades & Persephone
Zeus
Persephone smirked amused at this. She and her husband had agreed to share everything when they had married so they were always listed as a set in the ratings.
'No wonder Bolt Boy looked put out when he saw the ratings.'
'See..' Hades sounded gleefully seizing his wife joyfully around the middle. '-I told ya it would work didn't I?' He spun her around then quickly deposited her on the ground causing her to retch slightly.
'Uh… don't do that too often sweetie, I don't know how much my stomach can take.' She murmured in a fragile tone as Hades began fidgeting excitedly.
'I beat Zeus in the rating stakes..' He sing-songed cheerfully as his wife groaned feeling sickly again and rummaged in the packet for another cracker. 'Hah-cha-cha nothin' can spoil this day now..'
Zeus blinked at Hermes in shock for a whole two seconds before his words sunk in. Apparently he had just returned from Thebes with this really big news.
'Hermes..' The tanned god sounded chuckling, knowing what this was immediately because it was the first of April. '-I expected better from you young man..'
'Huh?' The Messenger God blinked confused, he thought Zeus would have been pleased with this news.
'Honestly, you call yourself a Trickster God..' He continued to laugh to himself amused.
'Whoa, whoa, hold up there..' Hermes suddenly realised that the Lord of Olympus thought this was a very bad prank. '-this ain't no April Fool's big guy, Meg really has just had the baby..' Zeus blinked again before his face split into a massive grin. This was exactly the kind of news that he needed to save face from the humiliation of coming in sixth after the Underworld couple.
Persephone's perfectly neat brows contracted in concern as she caught Zeus giving Hermes a bone crunching hug and looking oddly ecstatic over something, she then turned to her husband who was still looking delighted by beating Zeus.
'Uh, maybe you wanna hold off the celebrations 'til we find out what that's about..' She said making her husband blink at her confused before following her dainty pointed finger to the stage where Zeus was looking very pleased about something indeed.
'Gods and Goddesses of Greece..' Zeus once more addressed the dozens of gods out there. '-I have just received some exciting news, and I promise that this is no joke..' He decided to qualify that just in case the others thought it was. 'Hera and myself have just become grandparents!' There was a moment of shock at this before Hera gave a little smile, her face brimming with happy tears.
'What?' Hades sounded completely disbelief by these words.
'My son Hercules has just become a father to a little boy named Hyllos.' Zeus declared and the numerous gods in the pantheon began cheering, congratulating Hera and Zeus and celebrating this joyous news. There were only two gods not celebrating this news.
Persephone groaned inwardly after swallowing her cracker. This was just rotten timing..
'Gahhhh!' Hades roared in anguish and smouldering furiously as he smashed his red burning fist into the pillar. 'Jerkules beat me again! I frickin' hate that kid!' His loud hollering and brilliant orange flames weren't even noticed by the crowd of gods who were busy celebrating the good news. Before Persephone could even think of soothing her severely disappointed husband he erupted in a massive column of smoke and flames, vanishing off the cloud leaving his wife to hack on the second-hand smoke.
'Whoa..' A cheery voice sounded as the pregnant goddess managed to sweep the smoke away. '-somebody was in a bad mood.' Persephone turned around to see Hermes floating beside her, after managing to pull himself away from Zeus he'd headed straight for his best friend.
'Let's just say this April Fool's didn't turn out like he'd planned..' Persephone smirked as she shook her head wryly.
'Ya want me to drive ya home since you aren't old enough for a Flyin' Chariot Licence babe?'
'Sure, but let's enjoy some of the festivities first..' The white-skinned goddess linked arms with the blue-skinned Messenger.'-something tells me my hubby's gonna need a little time to himself right now..' And with that the two gods disappeared into the crowd of multi-coloured gods.
Little Notes:
Happy April Fool's Peeps, I hope you all have a fun day! Unfortuntely my plans for the 1st have changed, I was supposed to take part in an April Fool's joke with some of the girls from work where we'd phone in sick and then show up on time. I strained the muscles in my shoulder so I got signed off work instead so please make the most of your day!
It suddenly occurred to me while writing this story that I haven't done any Cassandra and Icarus writing in any of my fics until this point so enjoy XP
Ok, what Icarus says about the 'Rule of April Fool's' isn't true, it's a twist on the actual rule that says: only a real fool fails to take a prank with good humour..
I'm going to leave you to guess what the year on the ratings scroll is (here's a hint, the last three letters stand for Olympic Time Compendium) as those who have studied their Roman Numerals correctly should easily work it out.
Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this story!
Lot's of Love… Ditzy X
