This chapter goes to Curly, whose review made me smile from ear to ear. Looong chapter as a gift for typing all that when you normally don't review and only had a module with a frustrating touch-screen keyboard at 3 AM. XD And some Shizaya action too!
Thank you to all my reviewers~
Title: Linger
Author: MistressKiko
Rating: M
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya ... Shizuo x Mairu
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!
THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. You have been warned.
THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL CONTENT.
Shizuo's POV
My mouth formed a small 'o' when he mouthed my erection through my underwear. Fuck, that hot breath was too much.
"I thought you were trying to hurry," I breathed, ashamed when my hips moved forward, seeking more of that delicious heat. I hissed when he pulled at the underwear, the cold air hitting me.
"Look at this," Izaya muttered in awe, wrapping his hand around my need. It throbbed against his hand. Move, move, move already! "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you want me!"
You cocky little shit, hurry up!
Swallowing, I placed a hand on the back of his head, running my fingers through his raven locks and pushing him forward just a bit, trying to get my message across. Surprise crossed his features before he gave a short laugh.
"You're amazing," he breathed, leaning forward. He licked his lips before surrounding my head and sucking off the precum that had collected there. Staying there, he roughly rubbed his tongue on the sensitive underside of the head, driving me insane.
I don't think I've ever been this turned on in my life.
Well, other than that night on the couch.
Fuck, why did my most intense sexual moments have to involve him?
I sagged back harder against the stall, my own breath incredibly loud in my ears. My hand subconsciously rubbed the back of his head as he continued, sliding down my cock and surrounding me in that tight, wet heat.
"Ahh..." I gasped when he sucked, in and out, his hand reaching underneath to gently twist and squeeze at my balls.
Amazing. I was writhing under the command of that mouth.
Burying me as far as he could, he gave a wanton moan, the vibrations of it making my head swing back.
"Fuck!" I breathed, from both pain and pleasure when my head hit the stall. He chuckled lowly, almost succeeding in making me repeat that mistake, before pulling away.
"I wish, but I don't think we have the time," he bantered, and the pain was gone the instant he restarted that incredible suction.
I looked down at him through hazy eyes, the sight alone making me moan. He pulled back yet again, letting my dick go with a soft pop, before tilting his head and licking down the side, paying special attention to the particular vein that made my hips buck. His hand continued to slowly pump as he coated my dick with his saliva, and he looked up at me with half-lidded eyes when he took it deep in his mouth again.
Those eyes, full of raw need, looking at me alone.
He moved faster, greedily taking it as deep as he could, mewling around my cock like it was his favorite treat, the outsides of his mouth now shiny from his own saliva.
"Ah... hah.. ahnn..."
Anyone could walk in this bathroom at any moment and we'd be screwed. And not in the good way. I was even embarrassed at my unhindered groans and crude breaths, and I was sure this bastard was indulging himself in them, but it just felt too good to hold back...
I was getting so close.
I never took my eyes off of him, listening to the light slurping sounds and my own ragged breathing as the pressure inside built rapidly.
"Mmmah.. aAH!"
I gripped his hair right before white blasted through my vision. My body convulsing, my mouth hung open as I reached my orgasm, my cock shooting out waves of hot cum. Shaking from the intensity, I clumsily tried to grasp at the stall to stay standing.
Realizing I was now looking at the ceiling, my head dropped back down. Izaya was licking his lips, and brought a hand up to his chin to wipe up some of the cum that had escaped his mouth. Noticing me watching, he gave me a sexy grin and lapped up the white substance on his hand.
It should be fucking illegal to look like that, damn it!
"Mm, told you," Izaya said, standing up slowly. My eyes were drawn to his own erection, now straining against his pants. It made me very aware that mine was still hanging out in midair, and I hastily pulled my pants and underwear back up.
Clumsily, I fiddled with the lock, opening the stall. I desperately needed my legs to stop feeling like jello. I also needed to get that flushed, hazy-eyed Izaya out of my head, and quick.
"Later, Shizu-chan."
I shut the bathroom door behind me.
Mairu stood at the front doors, waiting for me with a smile.
I wasn't sure what face to approach her with.
"Ready to go?" Mairu asked, wrapping her arms around one of mine. Giving her what I hoped to be a convincingly happy smile, I nodded.
I was entirely tempted to look behind me, just to see if Izaya was watching me walk away. But I didn't. I couldn't. I needed his face out of my mind.
"Later", he'd said. Even though I had finally caved, it didn't look like he was done.
Oh.
Of course.
He wants me to fuck him, and he gets what he wants.
And I would. I would if I didn't have Mairu on my arm right now.
Ugh, I felt sick. That was not how you were supposed to think about your girlfriend. Was I seriously thinking this? If Mairu wasn't my girlfriend...
I would have already given him what he wanted.
My mind froze.
I did want to see him. I wanted to keep those fiery eyes looking my way. The only reason I had been running away, wanting to avoid him, was because guilt never sat well with me. Mairu was great, she really was. She never treated me like a 'monster' or hated me because of my anger issues. She accepted me for who I was, and I couldn't thank her enough. I was awed by her.
But.
Admiration was not love.
What if... I could never come to love her?
The thought hit me like a Semi-truck. It had always been her. I had never had the chance for that thought to come to me, because there was never supposed to be anyone else who wanted me.
Then Izaya walked in and ripped everything apart.
Wait, did that mean I had feelings for that bastard?
No, no, no, there was absolutely no way! He was a spoiled child who liked playing mind games with people! And his morals were completely fucked up!
But I had even admitted to Kadota that he had his good parts.
Oh, this was frustrating.
Because... none of it mattered. Putting Mairu aside, I didn't understand Izaya's motives. He was like a yo-yo, suggesting he'd stick around after sex and then ending up blackmailing me to get what he wanted when he absolutely knew I wouldn't be 'staying around' when I had a girlfriend.
A part of me wanted to believe there was a little more than lust that was magnetizing him to me. Would someone try so hard just for a quick fuck? I was 100% truthful when I told him people would line up to get a piece of him, but he just blew it off like that meant nothing, completely focusing on me.
And that speech in the bathroom earlier...!
My heart sped up as I thought about the words.
"And they're not supposed to treat my sisters with such care. Or be fun to talk to. Or look so cute when they're flustered."
What did any of that have to do with getting laid!
He could just be a sweet-talker. Actually, there was no doubt in my mind that he was, and hella good at being one. But there was also that strange moment after my comeback that was digging into me like a knife.
The moment where he had looked genuinely hurt by my comment... defeated. Like he had just bared his heart and was shot down.
Seems it definitely wasn't a look of defeat, though, if forcing a blow-job on me had anything to do with it.
This was hurting my head.
Wasn't I not supposed to be thinking about him?
"Shizuo?"
I snapped my head toward Mairu. She looked concerned, waving a hand in front of my face.
"What?" I asked, trying to seem casual. Shit, looks like I was pretty spaced out there.
"You've just been really silent. Are you ok? I've been wondering ever since you left us at the table like that," Mairu spoke, searching my face as if she would find the answer.
And then I looked at her. Really looked at her. There was the same cute face, the same long eyelashes, the same chocolate brown locks... that same feeling of contentment.
My heart didn't jump, I wasn't nervous, I didn't feel that strong pull.
Not like when Izaya was this close.
"I... guess I've just got a headache," I said, turning away from her and putting a hand on my forehead.
"Aw, we'll get you some aspirin. You can relax here too."
"Hm?" I muttered, finally noticing where we'd stopped. A hotel?
"I got us a room for the night! They have a huge swimming pool and a hot tub and even room service!" She exclaimed, walking a little ahead of me.
A hot tub sounded amazing.
But... a hotel? That sounded overly suggestive, and for a minute, I was stumped.
Despite being together for three months, we hadn't gone all the way. Mairu was not a girl who claimed to wait for marriage, but she also didn't want to hurriedly give herself to just anyone.
But I was thinking too much. She wanted to set up something special, and I was going to appreciate it. Even if I felt a little awkward now.
I really felt like calling Kadota and just spitting everything out so this weight on my shoulders would disappear. But today was Mairu's.
This confusion had been dragging on for forever anyway. It could wait a few more hours. And there was still an ounce of hope in the back of my mind that I'd be able to see Mairu in a new light.
It really wasn't fair.
Why couldn't I love this girl? Everything would be so much easier.
Regardless of the way I was feeling, I walked in with her, getting the card key at the front desk and stopping in the room to change. There was a family with small kids at the pool, tossing a beach ball back and forth. The hot tub was thankfully free for the taking.
"It feels so goooood," Mairu admonished, slipping into the water. I got in after her, immediately agreeing. I submerged in the steaming water to my neck, leaning against the side and letting the water work wonders on my back.
"Thanks for coming here with me," she said, walking over and sitting on my lap. On instinct, I wrapped my arm around her middle. Her head fit perfectly into the crook of my neck, so I gently rested my chin on her head, giving a small sigh.
"I appreciate it," I replied.
"Aw, they're so cute," she said with a giggle, turning my attention back to the kids at the pool. There was a girl and a boy, neither could be over six-years-old. Apparently they thought their beach ball had gotten a little too flat, so the boy was trying to teach the girl how to blow it back up. The boy laughed when her cheeks puffed up from her deep breath, and she went red.
It put a smile on my face.
"I'm going to love when Tom has that kid," I commented.
"Uncle Shizuo?" Mairu questioned, looking up at me. My face must have contorted at the foreign term, because she started laughing.
"I don't know about that."
"Oh come on. I think you'd make a great uncle," she pestered, pecking me on the cheek.
"I'd scare the poor kid."
"Hey," she said sternly, raising an eyebrow, "I know you're just a big teddy bear."
I snorted.
The family at the pool packed up and left as Mairu and I did smalltalk. We had been in the hot tub for nearly an hour, my wrinkly hands proof of that, before I even bothered to check my cell for the time.
"I might be taking one of my vacations from work next month," Mairu spoke, and continued when I gave her a questioning look, "It's my parents' 25th anniversary and they're having a get-together for the family."
"Ah," was all I could really think to say, my cheeks feeling warm. We should probably get out of here soon.
"Shizuo," Mairu started, suddenly looking a little nervous, "You think you could take that vacation with me?"
I blinked.
I stared.
"... you mean meet your family?"
"Yeeeeeeah," she dragged on, smiling.
"Uh... is about four months long enough? I mean-"
She cut me off with a kiss. I was a little slow on the response, my mind reeling over what I had just been asked. Meeting the family? That was a huge deal here. Why would she want to do this now?
"I think it's long enough," she mumbled when she leaned back, her lips curled into a sly smirk that reminded me way too much of someone else, before she dived back in for another kiss. Her tongue teasingly lapped at my lips before I allowed entry.
Her lips, her tongue, her body, her hands, this hot water... it all felt amazing.
But something felt off. I felt like something bad was just on the horizon.
"Hey," she whispered, pulling back once more and letting her lips ghost over my own as she looked straight into my eyes, "I want you to take me tonight."
Shit, damn, motherfuck..!
"H... huh?" I asked not-so-intelligently, my mouth open to catch the flies. She blushed, a cute little smile on her lips. The arms around my neck grew tighter.
"I want to. I love you, Shizuo."
Holy-
Oh Mairu.
Please tell me you didn't just say that.
With the guilt multiplying tenfold, I looked away, unable to meet her eyes. I almost felt like crying. I really needed to call Kadota.
And I had just been with someone else hours before.
"I can't," I choked out in desperation. I wanted to be anywhere else but here right now. What I really needed to do was suck it up and come clean, but hurting Mairu was like a sin.
Now, however, there was no going back.
I would be hurting her either way.
And I knew it. Even though I was looking away, feeling her get off my lap and not say a word was all I needed to feel like I was going to throw up.
By the time I had enough courage to look around, she was gone from the pool area. I got out of the hot water, knowing I'd probably pass out if I spent any more time in there, and sullenly grabbed my towel.
What the hell was I supposed to do now? Should I go back up to the room? Should I just leave?
I didn't give it too much thought before I was reaching for the phone. It rang twice before Kadota's voice was heard.
"Hello?"
"I don't care where you are or what you're doing. I'm fucked up and I need to vent."
"... alright then. Does this have to do with what you started to tell me before?"
So I told him. Everything. I mean everything. Well, minus all the little juicy details I'm sure he didn't even want to hear.
I really wasn't sure if I got any instant relief from spilling my guts.
"Where is Mairu right now?" Kadota asked.
"I didn't even see her walk off, man," I sighed, rubbing my forehead, "But I'm assuming she's in the hotel room."
"Go find her, and make a clean break."
"But! She's going to be so upset..."
"Of course she is. However, you're just leading her on with the way things are going. That's going to hurt even worse in the end."
I knew that. I did. And hearing it from Kadota just made reality smack me in the face a little harder.
It still didn't mean I wanted to do it, though.
There was silence for a moment, before I sighed.
"Thanks, Kadota."
"Good luck. And you can call me whenever."
I hung up the phone, trying to grab hold of some courage, and started walking toward the hotel room.
