I own as much as Ziggy the bagman.


"The guy I like is you Jeff." I said, before grabbing the collar of his shirt and bringing his face down to my level where our lips connected in a blast of passion and almost hunger. We broke the kiss after we heard a loud crash.

We both turned around to see Andrew standing there, his skateboard on the ground where he had dropped it.

"Andy, umm listen…" I started to say, but he cut me off.

"It's ok, really, I heard what you both said, I guess I'm happy for you both, but that kiss, wow. And Jeff, wrestler or not you hurt her in any way and I promise you I'll kill you."

"I wouldn't ever"

"Good, then lets get out of here, I do believe you promised to take us to a show today" Shit the show, I can't go yet, my jeans are wet, and I'm commando at the moment.

"Give me a sec ok" I said having turned to Andy, then back to Jeff mouthing 'dryer' to him, needing to find my undies and bra.

"Yea, just let me go get my bag and we'll be set" Jeff added. We walked off towards his laundry, luckily enough that's where his bag was. I grabbed my damp articles of clothing and dashed to the dunny. I stripped off and got dressed back into Jeff's clothes, and went back to the lounge room to grab my volleys. Clearly the whole I'm a waitress and can't afford Converse is showing again. As Jeff reappeared I immediately smiled.

"Got a belt I can borrow Skittles?"

"Sorry Squirt no can help you. Didn't you have one on earlier though, black material one I believe." Damn Hardy, had to be right. I ran to the bathroom where I had my shower, grabbed the belt to hold the baggy pants up. We piled into Jeff's Corvette and we headed into Raleigh.

The drive seemed to disappear before my eyes, after I had gotten used to Jeff's driving of course. The next thing I knew we were entering the arena Carpark. I was about to have my very first wrestling experience, with my new beau. Jeff parked the car, we got out, and Jeff got his bag for the boot. We walked to what I'm guessing was the back entrance of the arena, the security guard looked at Jeff who pulled two passes out and gave them to me and Andy, I put mine over my head and the security guard let us in.

"What about the security you promised Aunty K?" I asked, having been reminded by the door bitch.

"I'm glad you asked that Squirt" Jeff said before taking off down the hall. I immediately followed Jeff, and Andy followed me.

"Where are we headed?" I asked Jeff.

"To get your security of course." We walked all over the back area of the arena, Andy looked like a kid in a toy store, the way he was acting around the wrestlers. Jeff stopped outside a door marked APA and knocked. I figured APA must be the security that the wwe hired.

"The APA? Are you kidding? The APA are the extra security?" Andy seemed mega excited, guess I was wrong.

"Only the best. Bradshaw owed me a favour, so you're it." A tall white guy with a haircut that looked like a two year old had done it answered the door.

"Hardy" The guy greeted Jeff.

"JBL, this here is my girl, Elsie, and her cousin Andrew, these are the two that have the APA's protection tonight. If anyone and I mean anyone comes near them you know what to do. Fan's included. Yes you can take them to the ring for a segment, but no you can't say how you know them."

"So how do I bring them into our segment?"

"You owed a friend a favour…simple" Jeff answered, there was going to be no compromise. "And JBL, someone wants these kids dead, this is serious, OK"

"Alright Hardy, I'll watch em good for you"

"Thanks Bradshaw" Jeff said before getting out a sharpie and adding to the APA sign, Jeff Hardy.

"Hardy you're pushing it"

"Were you listening at all?"

"Fine just get in." We entered the room to find a black guy with a shirt that had DAMN written on it.

"Ron my man, what's up?" Jeff asked the guy.

"Nothing much man" Then he saw Andy and I, Andy was wide eyed again. The Ron guy appeared to be looking for specific words before almost shouting, "DAMN".

"Man, don't worry, they're not fans, they are in the APA's protection tonight"

"Oh, ok then. Hey, I'm Ron, Ron Simmons"

"Hey, I'm Elsie" I replied. "And this is Andrew" I added, remembering how he was with Jeff.

"Rainy Day, the thunder's rolling in, lightning conductor is up, and I'm soaked." Andy said to me, in a sort of code we have going.

"Jeez Cotton Candy, your stick dropped, go sit on the merry go round and wait for the clown to come." I responded

"What did they just say?" Ron asked Jeff.

"No idea" Jeff replied. "Ay Squirt, what'd you say?"

"Elsie, today is absolutely awesome, I'm meeting superstars, I'm so excited.' and then I said, 'Jeez Andy, you're acting like an idiot, go take some deep breathes then come back when you're calm'" I replied as if it were simple. Which in reality it was.

'Goth, code, man that's so old."

"Old but effective" I added. JBL came back in the room, and slumped onto a bench.

"Now you have your own sign on the door Hardy."

"Thanks man"

"It won't happen again"

"Cotton Candy, his stick is so far up the caramelised apple that he has no core."

"What the hell is that kid talking about?" JBL asked. Everyone else burst out laughing.

"Well I think she just said that you had a pole up your ass and that you are boring" Jef said, and I nodded.

"Little slut, you can't talk to me like that, I am a wrestling god." Bradshaw said aggravated. Jeff jumped to his feet.

"Bradshaw, don't you ever talk about my girl like that…ever. You still owe me, I don't trust you with someone this special." And with that Jeff stormed out of the room with Andy and I in tow, Andy just as angry as Jeff.

In his anger, Jeff ripped his sign off the door, and we walked to his old dressing room. When we were there Jeff dumped his stuff and Andy dumped his board.

"Come on guys, we gotta go visit the boss"

"You mean McMadMan?" Andy asked excitedly.

"Yea, but please call him McMahon. We gotta find someone important." Jeff left the room again, this time off to find his boss. When we reached a door that had a sign saying 'Vince McMahon, Chairman' on the front, Jeff knocked.

"Come In" A deep voice wafted through the door. Jeff walked in with me following him like glue, and Andy a little more reluctant than me. "Jeff what can I do for you tonight?" Vice asked, glancing up as Jeff entered the room.

"Well Vince, you see" Jeff started clearly nervous. It really got me thinking what was the whole rule thing with guests. "Umm well I brought some visitors today, well I gave them the backstage passes that I got in the raffle last week." At the information that they had guests, Mr. McMahon seemed rather irritated.

"Jeff son, why would you bring your guests in here, they should be exploring and enjoying their stay. I will get Paul to come and introduce them to the talent." Vince said reaching for the phone. I looked at Jeff, unsure about any new people, he gave me a nod, telling me Paul was ok, he leaned in and added,

"Paul's a great guy, Vinnie Mac and I need some privacy that's all. It'll be fine babe." Before kissing my forehead. Vince hung up the phone and Jeff tuned his attention back to his boss.

"Paul will be here in a minute." He said, before returning to his gaze to his paperwork in front of him, most likely waiting until Andy and I left. A couple of minutes later there was a knock at Mr McMahon's door. "Come in" A really, and I mean really big guy with long blonde hair and a handle bar moe entered the room. "Paul, I need you to take our guest on a tour today." Vince said to the guy who walked in.

"Yea, alright" I'm not sure why but he seemed so much more relaxed to be talking to his boss than Jeff did. "Come on you two, let's get going" He said to Andy and I before opening the door. "See you in the ring Hardy." Once we were all out of Mr McMahon's office he introduced himself. "Hey, I'm Paul, also known to the public as"

"Triple H" Andy finished for him.

"Yea," Paul replied, "And you are?"

"I'm Andy and this is Elsie"

"So how do you know Jeff?"

"I'm his neighbour, and she's his girl, I believe I heard him yelling at JBL earlier" Andy said smirking.

"So you don't know each other then?" Paul asked, assuming, correctly I might add, that we came together.

"No, we do" I said. "We just have a very different relationship with Jeff."

"You're lucky I'm not firing you, you know the policy about backstage passes, they do not, ever come into admin areas, and that includes my office." We heard Vince yell. I groaned.

"What've I done?" I wondered, praying I hadn't cost Jeff his job.

"I think that's our cue to exit" Paul said trying to lighten the mood. "Vinnie Mac is just uptight because he prefers us to date other wrestlers, its easier on the schedules and the heart." Paul explained.

"But he doesn't know we're together."

"Honey, he knows, I knew before you told me. The way you and Jeff interact shows you care about each other. So anyway where do you kids wanna go?"