Break Even

Damien was sitting in his desk chair. He was looking at the bright computer screen. He sighed. He didn't know why he was even trying. He would never make a good ruler of Hell. He was already loving someone. Love was so not for Hell. Love was for Heaven. He heard a loud slam, and screaming. The voices were familiar.

"I didn't mean to land on you!" he heard Kenny yell. "I'll pay you in blood if you want!" Kenny came running into the Demon's room, and slammed his door shut. "Quick, hide me!" Kenny whispered. "I died, and landed on Ed Gein. He is pissed at me! Really bad!"

"Oh, leave it alone." Damien muttered as he turned around to face Kenny. He reached into one of his desk drawers, and pulled out a giant Hershey's bar. It had thirty-two squares. He sighed.

"Whoa! How the hell do you make such giant chocolate appear?" he asked softly. "I've never seen this big bar anywhere." He said as he patted the bar's foil wrap.

"I am Damien Thorn. Son of Simon Magus." Damien said as he grabbed the bar. "Let's split it." He said as he tried to gently unwrap the chocolate.

He looked up, and saw Kenny punching in things on his computer. He looked to see what it was. "Oh, Kenny, we're about to eat chocolate. Are you really going to sing, right now?" Damien moaned.

"Yes. I was struck with inspiration." Kenny said as he clicked enter on an instrumental.

"No T-Pain today?" Damien asked confused.

"Naw. He's old news." Kenny said. He cleared his throat.

"I barely died, and I want some Hershey's. You said we should share, and that really hurts me. Cuz sharin' with you is never easy. Cuz when a bar breaks, no it don't break even. Your best times were some of my worst. Finally have the guts to try and put me first. I don't wanna share with you or Stephen. Cuz when a bar breaks, no it don't break even. Even. Oh! What am I gonna do, when most of that candy bar goes to you, and! What am I gonna say, when I'm all hungry, and you're okay. I want some more candy! I want some more candy! They say good things happen for a reason. When they made the bar, yo, it all was even. So cut it up, before I'm leavin'. But please just make sure that the bar breaks even. Even. Oh, oh! What am I gonna do, when most of the candy bar goes to you and! What am I supposed to say, when you stuff your mouth, and look so gay. I want some more candy! Yeah. I want some more Candy! I want some more candy! I want some more candy! Oh! You've got Snickers, and Hershey's and smarty's all day. You eat the candy, I starve away. Now I'm tryna make sense of why the hell I stay! Oh! Cuz you leave me with no food, with no food to my name! I'm still alive, but I'm hardly eatin'. Just begging to a Demon I don't believe in. Cuz most the chocolate's already eaten. Cuz when a bar breaks, no it don't break, no it don't break even, no!"

"I will give you three fourths of this candy bar if you stop singing that God awful song!" Damien yelled through the sound of Kenny taking it to the bridge. "Please! I will share the candy, in a seventy thirty split!" he shouted as Kenny stopped the song.

"You didn't let me finish." Kenny said bitterly.

"Kenny, my ears can only take so much." Damien said as he pretended to throw up. "But at least I know how you feel about sharing with me." he growled.