Okay, here you go loves! I know the timeline is off from the actual show and that Bonnie didn't have magic when she was the anchor, but hey, this is fiction (: I hope you like this chapter, it's pretty long but I think it's worth it! Thank you so much for your continued support, it means everything to me (:
-Just a reminder that if you feel lost, go through and make sure you didn't miss a chapter! I think that happened with some people since I update so often. I named the chapters to try to help with that! Please let me know what you think, reviews are the best thing in the world to me (:
Klaus
"I made a mistake," Bonnie said, addressing the room. "I knew Silas was going to kill Klaus. I told him Klaus' weaknesses. Silas saw him as a threat and so did I,"
Stefan looked at her strangely. "And your opinion on this has changed? I mean, I'm not usually one to agree with Silas but we spent months trying to get rid of Klaus,"
"Yeah, and if whatever 'mistake' you made explains why we're not all dead, it doesn't sound like much of a mistake to me," Tyler stated.
Bonnie shook her head. "I don't understand that at all, not that I'm complaining. Klaus' entire sire line should have died with him, but it's been a week and you guys are all fine. I don't know how it's possible,"
Klaus smirked for the first time since being on the other side. He remembered the group's first meeting, when Bonnie came to them distraught with the news of his death. He'd watched them all panic, not knowing he'd had one of his witches break the sire line months ago after his run in with the vampire hunter.
It had been the closest he'd ever come to death, and in that brief moment when he thought it might actually happen, his heart had filled with despair, thinking that Caroline's forever would be cut short because of him and the world would exist without her light.
Now he was dead, and if nothing else, he was incredibly thankful he'd made the decision to save her.
"I shouldn't have helped Silas kill Klaus," Bonnie continued, to the great surprise of everyone else in the room. Elena only looked blankly at her nails, apparently bored with the conversation, but Damon and Tyler both scoffed and Stefan's eyes widened.
"He has done a lot of horrible things, I'm not denying that. But he has also done a lot to help us and protect us,"
"Like what?!" Damon asked incredulously. "Terrorize us, make our lives a living hell? You're crazy,"
Bonnie looked at them all individually, with a fire in her eyes and a set to her jaw. Despite her hand in his demise, Klaus felt his respect grow for her.
"It's more than that," she spoke quietly but determinedly. "It's Caroline," with that Bonnie met Tyler's eyes briefly before looking back at the rest of them. "She's a mess. She-" She took a deep breath, seemingly collecting her thoughts. "She loved him,"
Tyler clenched his jaw in anger, but he didn't say anything. Stefan only looked down and nodded slightly. It was Elena who broke the heavy silence, "Well, it's not like anyone didn't know that,"
Klaus smiled sadly. He'd always been sure Caroline felt something for him, but he never thought he would find out via his death. He couldn't revel in the excitement of being in mutual love when they were separated in every way a couple could be separated.
Bonnie continued to stare them all down, as if she was preparing herself. Finally she spoke, her words resonating with finality, "I'm going to bring him back,"
Caroline
Sleep was her best friend and her worst enemy. It was her only sense of relief, singing to her a soft lullaby after hours of shedding weighted tears. It promised to protect her, keep her warm and safe, if only for a few hours. Every time she followed the sound, fading into the blackness and drifting off into a world away from the one that tortured her. It would soothe her like a mother rubbing her baby's hair.
Then sleep would turn against her. It would drop her from it's blanket of security, leaving her to tumble back into the bright, harsh reality. For a brief moment, she would be disoriented, still inside this bubble of not understanding and then suddenly, like a towering wave it would all crush down on her, sucking her under, drowning her and then throwing her back up to catch a ragged breath before dragging her back down again.
When that happened it was like realizing it for the first time, as if she were in her living room again, listening to Bonnie scream with pain, his pain. It was like she was crying on the floor again with the realization that he was dead and the grief of it all was too much, it was too much for her and she couldn't, she just couldn't-
Then Bonnie would be there, with a cup of chamomile tea and a blood bag, smoothing her hair and rubbing her back and whispering that it would all be okay. Caroline would drink both, sometimes getting out of bed briefly to cry in the shower before returning to her battle with sleep all over again.
Klaus
"Are you crazy?!" Tyler spat. "After everything we did to get rid of him, after everything he's done to us, we're going to bring him back so he can do it all over again?"
Bonnie showed no signs of retreat but before she could respond, it was Stefan who spoke.
"Tyler, Caroline is our family. Regardless of how you feel about her, if there is something we can do to ease her pain and bring her happiness, we will do it,"
Tyler looked at all of them with the same ferocity as Bonnie. Damon didn't look happy either, but he wasn't saying anything. "You're all nuts," he stated, and left.
Klaus watched the events unfold, too stunned to even be bothered by Tyler. He had certainly not come to accept his death, but he had never thought of it as anything but final. Now there was a possibility he could come back, he could come back and be with Caroline. It was a hope he knew he shouldn't allow himself to have, but it filled him up nonetheless.
"I need some time to build up my strength. These two spells, lowering the veil and keeping people on this side of it, will take an enormous amount of energy. I'll have to draw on a natural entity."
"Like the full moon?" Stefan asked.
Bonnie shook her head. "It's not strong enough. I was thinking the winter solstice,"
Elena snapped her head up, finally showing signs of caring about the conversation. "That's two months away!"
Bonnie's eyes flashed defensively, and Klaus smiled again at the witch's fierce behavior.
"It's the best I can do, Elena,"
Elena only scoffed but didn't say anything more. Her and Damon left and to Klaus' surprise, Bonnie addressed him.
"You'll have to be ready. Once I drop the veil, we won't have much time. If you're not there, I won't wait. I won't be able to,"
Klaus had forgotten that she could see him but it gave him a sense of relief to be acknowledged. The worst thing about the other side was being completely alone, unheard by anyone. He nodded in response to her. 'I'll be ready," he said, just as determined as she was to end Caroline's suffering.
Bonnie
The first few weeks were the worst. No, maybe that wasn't an accurate description; the first few weeks were the messiest. In was a never ending cycle that Caroline was trapped in and all Bonnie could do was watch as she sobbed uncontrollably, sometimes so hard that she would throw up what little Bonnie had been able to get her to eat or drink. She would cry herself into exhaustion. Bonnie did some spells and snuck in some herbs to help keep her calm but the grief and the devastation were snowballs rolling down a hill, growing bigger, gaining a momentum that not even magic could stop.
Almost always Klaus was there, sitting on her bed or leaning against the wall, never leaving her side but even more helpless than Bonnie was.
Bonnie didn't dare tell Caroline about her plan; it would give her hope, maybe ease her grieving, but if for some reason it failed it would crush her. She didn't tell her Klaus was there either, and he never asked her to.
One night, Bonnie sat on the bed with Caroline's head on a pillow in her lap. She stroked her hair as she cried quietly, close to sleep. Bonnie wanted to let her sleep, but there was something she felt like she should talk to her about.
"Caroline, I know you spent months denying how you felt about Klaus. I think you were scared of him, and scared of what all of us would think,"
Caroline opened her eyes, but she didn't say anything, so Bonnie continued.
"I just think that that's a big reason why this is so hard for you. You were still trying to figure out your feelings for him and then he was gone,"
Bonnie didn't want to make Caroline feel worse, she wanted her to know that she understood. She didn't want her to feel so alone. Caroline looked up at Bonnie, more tears spilling down her cheeks.
"I feel like I don't even deserve to miss him," she croaked. It hurt Bonnie's heart to see her like this, she wanted to take it all away for her, but she couldn't. She could only offer words of comfort and hoped they helped.
"Caroline, you saw the good in him, when no one else did. You saw things in him that his own family didn't see. I think that's why he loved you so much. As much as you tried, you can't change what your heart feels. You loved him, despite everything bad about him, and that's what makes you such an incredible person, honey. And Klaus was smart, he knew you felt something for him. It's okay for you to miss him, sweetie,"
Caroline smiled weakly. "I just wish I had told him before it was too late,"
"I know, sweetie. It's okay, it's okay," Bonnie whispered to her, rubbing her back while she cried herself to sleep.
She looked up and met Klaus' tear filled eyes. They didn't have to say anything, they just watched helplessly as the girl they both loved fell apart.
Caroline
Bonnie had been right. She was grieving for more than just Klaus' death, she was grieving the loss of what they could have had if she had just gotten over herself and let him in. How could she sit here and cry for him when he had spent his final months trying to win her over and she had denied him cruelly at every turn? On top of the grief and the devastation sat Caroline's regret, and that was almost worse.
After a few weeks, Caroline felt like she didn't have a tear left in her body. She was so physically exhausted, she sometimes wondered how she was still alive. Her eyes were red and raw from trying to wipe away an endless stream of tears. Her throat felt like fire and the rest of her just hurt.
It was like her body had been fighting this waging war with sadness, but now it was putting up a white flag, lying down and allowing the sadness to win. It took over her, enveloping her. The world was drenched in it, like a wet towel, the sadness clung to everything. She was sad when she looked out the window, when she took a shower, when she ate breakfast, or tried to read a book or watch TV. Everything was blue, endless sadness.
She couldn't leave the house, she refused to. It was a miserable place to be stuck inside in, constantly wracked with grief, but Caroline wasn't ready to be anything but miserable. Outside, there was color and sunshine, people wanting to talk about school and the future and ask her how she was doing. They would want to see the happy, sweet Caroline they all knew and Caroline didn't even feel like that girl existed.
So instead of crying and instead of "moving on", whatever that meant, she was stuck in this limbo of heavy sorrow, looking at everything blankly. She felt tired almost all the time. She knew her mom was worried but she just didn't have the energy to put on a happy face.
Weeks passed by that way, or so she thought. Time didn't really have meaning to her anymore. She watched the snow fall outside her window and she thought of Klaus' fireplace that had irritated her so much. She traced her hand over the drawing he'd made for her, and one day, when she must have felt like torturing herself, she'd headed to the back of her closet and touched the gorgeous blue dress he had given her.
For a couple weeks, Stefan started coming by to check on her instead of Bonnie. "She's sick," he explained. Caroline only nodded. Stefan was good to her, he always brought her a blood bag and hot chocolate. He didn't say anything about Klaus like Bonnie did, but she didn't mind. She didn't have enough energy to talk about anything, it seemed like. She wanted to tell them both how much she appreciated them, but she didn't seem capable. When Stefan was there, she found herself wanting him to go away, but when she was alone again she craved company.
"Caroline, are you going to go to the holiday Founder's party? I know it sounds miniscule in the grand scheme of everything, but people miss you at those things. It might be nice to see everyone,"
Caroline looked at him, about to tell him she wasn't ready, but he seemed to anticipate her answer.
"You're never going to be ready, Caroline," he said, gently. "I just think it will be good for you. I'll take you, and stay with you the whole time"
Caroline considered. She couldn't remember the last time she'd even left the house, let alone go to a party. It sounded exhausting but it might be nice to drink champagne and see something other than sympathy for once. She could always leave early.
She looked at Stefan and nodded slowly, "Okay," she said.
He smiled. "It'll be okay, Caroline. I'll pick you up at 8, it's on Friday, and I'll help you get through it, okay?" He smiled again, kindly. "You're not alone,"
She smiled weakly at him before he left. She sure felt alone.
Klaus
At one point, Klaus had either hated or felt indifferent to almost everyone in Mystic Falls. Now, watching helplessly from the other side, he felt indebted to Stefan and Bonnie. They took care of Caroline in a way he would never have known how to. Bonnie soothed her and Stefan tried to distract her. It was pure friendship, something he was unfamiliar with.
Of course, he knew Bonnie wasn't really sick. She was working on the spells she would be performing in a week's time, gathering her strength. So Stefan was taking Caroline to one of those ridiculous parties, in an attempt to take her mind off everything. Maybe he was right, Caroline did seem to flourish in those kind of environments. But she also hadn't been herself for almost two months.
He watched her as she got ready. She picked out a simple blue dress from the back of her closet, instead of buying a new one like he suspected she usually did. She returned from her shower in a pink, silk robe, her hair already done. He smiled, despite the situation, thinking how beautiful she looked without a hint of makeup, wearing nothing but a bathrobe.
His smile quickly faded when she sat in front of her vanity to do her makeup. He could see her visibly shaking and she kept taking slow breaths, as if she were trying to steady herself.
"It's okay, it's okay," she kept whispering, combing through her makeup bag. He hated that she had to give herself a pep talk just to leave the house, when usually she would have been the one to plan this party.
She was rubbing foundation on her face while she said, "You can do this, you're strong. You're Caroline Forbes, you're a vampire," Her voice sounded thick and husky.
While she put on mascara, "You're strong, you can do this. It'll be okay," Her voice broke, tears threatening to break through.
Klaus heard Stefan knock while she applied her lipstick, but she only kept whispering, "It's okay, it's okay, it's okay," She was visibly shaking now, tears spilling from her eyes down on to her dress. She closed her eyes, "It's okay, it's okay," Stefan knocked again. Klaus took a step towards her, as if he would be able to do anything.
Suddenly she stood up and shoved everything off her vanity, almost knocking it over. "God damn it, Klaus!" she shrieked in despair. Then she was sobbing, holding on to the vanity for support. Klaus stood in shock, watching her. Stefan was there in an instant, holding on to her shoulders.
"Caroline, it's okay, we don't have to go, it's okay,"
She shook her head, sobbing uncontrollably now, like she had those first few weeks. Klaus' felt like his heart was being torn from his chest. "No, no, no, it's not okay! It's not okay, he's dead, Klaus is dead, and-" she fell to her knees, wrapping her arms around herself, sobbing. "It's too much, Stefan, I can't do it, I just can't, I have to make it stop, please make it stop,"
Stefan sank to the floor slowly, putting his hand on her. His eyes were wide, and he looked afraid. "Caroline, you can do this, you're strong. I'll help you get through this, it's okay,"
Caroline kept shaking her head, crying, "No, no, I can't, I don't want to feel this anymore,"
Klaus was taken aback by Stefan's alarm. Obviously he was missing something.
"Caroline, listen to me, it's okay. You'll get through this," She shook her head. His voice full of desperation, he finally yelled, "No, Caroline, don't do it. Your humanity is what Klaus loved the most about you!"
Then Klaus understood. He saw what Stefan had seen, what had him so afraid. Dread sank through him like a rock.
Caroline stopped crying suddenly. Her shoulders stilled, no longer racked with sobs. When she looked up, Klaus and Stefan both gasped, but only one of them was heard. Her face was still wet with black tears, but her eyes were dead.
"It doesn't matter what he loved, Stefan. Klaus is dead,"
With that, she stood up and took her place in front of the vanity once more, only this time, she did it without her humanity.
