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The drive back to the hotel was agonisingly long. Traffic jams two streets long, a tree across the road; you were doing everything in your power, Life, to drag out the drive as long as possible. The minutes after I let slip my true origins made up absolutely the longest awkward silence of my life. At length Winry pulled herself out of the blank stare she was giving me and voiced a question,

"Well, I guess that would explain the clothes. But how on earth did you get here?"

"No pun intended, right?" I laughed. "Honestly I have no idea." This seemed to open the floodgates, questions poured over me at breakneck speed; where was I from then? Was I sure that I couldn't tell her what happened? I felt like she was still trying to tell if I was completely insane or not.

I told her everything I could remember about my journey to Central with Itachi and Kisame, mentioning that I passed through Resembool. I explained everything I could, finishing my story with my only pieces of evidence, my school uniform and maths textbook. Winry was very obviously less than convinced. I stared at the two items, desperately racking my brains for a way they could be useful to me.

"Wait! What year is it? 19-something right?" I got a very strange look for this question as the car pulled into the driveway. We dashed out into the rain and ran for the door.

"Odd question, but it fits the theme. It's 1917." I grinned and held out my textbook again, open to the very first page.

"Check out the publishing details." At that moment feet pounded on the hallway outside and the door burst open, Ed ran into the room excitedly waving a sheaf of papers, Al was carrying a small stack of books.

"You'll never guess what we found!" Ed yelled.

"Did you find something about the Philosopher's Stone? Or transporting stuff?" I asked.

"Both, in a way. Hey, Winry, what's wrong?" The blonde hadn't looked up from my math textbook, "What's that?"

"Cathy, this says… 'First published in 2010.'" She

"Yeah, that one's a second print actually; they fixed some mistakes from the first one. My teacher found most of them and sent them a letter." I said, trying to smile encouragingly. I don't think Winry took in a single word.

"What are you talking about?" Ed said, walking across the room towards Winry.

"Well, this wasn't really when I had planned on telling this story, but…" I took a deep breath and, for the second time that night, I launched into my story.


"No way. There's no proof. You can fake a page in a book." I deflated, looking forlornly at the determined golden eyes.

"I'm not very convincing, I guess. Don't you think I'd pick a less ridiculous story, if I was just trying to fool you?" I tried, "Have you ever seen a book printed like this before?" I gestured at my textbook. He didn't say anything, Winry cut in.

"What did you find at the library?" I hoped it was something that would help.

"Oh, um." Ed looked back at his notes, "Well, there's this cult sort of thing; The Phoenix of the North. They don't get up to much normally, a lot of meditation and stuff it seems, but they do have reams of stories about the Philosopher's Stone, which plays a large part in their creation myths.

"They also have stories about something they call The Great Key, we could only find one substantial reference, but it was a good one, listen: '…believes that this power, which is non-Alchemic in origin nevertheless has great Alchemic applications. It is often featured in their mythology alongside the phoenix; the symbol of transformation and movement.'"

"Movement; as in travel!" I said, Ed flipped forward a few more pages.

"Exactly, they have a long mythology with detailed accounts of their dealings with the Stone and this Great Key thing in their library collection and crypts, but no one has even successfully removed any of it from their hideout in the Northwest." He turned the book around and pointed to a small star on a map of Amestris.

"You're running off headlong into danger again?" Winry asked dryly from the couch where she was sitting.

"Yep, we need to go get a closer look at this stuff." Ed replied. Winry turned her gaze to me.

"Only this time you're dragging her into it as well. Not everyone is up to your adventures. I'm too busy, personally."

"It can't be that much worse than travelling through the wilderness with Itachi and Kisame." I shrugged. "Speaking of which, they probably need to come as well. This involves them getting home just as much as me."

"Well, you'll just have to go find them, won't you?" Winry said.

"Mustang isn't around to give us something else to do, so we should be fine as long as it doesn't take longer than a week. Which it won't. Let's go!"


Something about Central just defied my sense of direction completely; I barely knew where Winry and I had come from. She took charge of the leading, and I followed behind her, focusing almost all of my attention on combing the crowd around us for the two missing ninja.

"He's about seven feet tall, wears a black and red marquee as a cloak possibly with someone dressed exactly the same. They may also have pyramids for hats." I described to the sixth or seventh busy Central-ite I had managed to snag, and for the sixth or seventh time I was told that they hadn't seen any such person and they wished me luck before hurrying off. I sighed and went back to Winry, who was standing next to a fountain in the middle of the market square. She looked a little less disappointed than I felt when I told her about my complete and utter lack of progress.

"We'll just have to keep looking then. Central is a big place, it would be beyond amazing to stumble across them in the first forty minutes." She climbed up onto the edge of the fountain; I joined her and strained to see above the heads off the people around me.

"Curse this massive city and its bustling inhabitants!" I said, suddenly someone appeared at my elbow.

"Well hello there, girls." A man, wearing a rumpled suit and a dopey, stupefied expression slurred, "What're you doing up there?"

"Nothing much, just looking for my serial killer ninja friends so that we can go on a journey to a secret crazy cult headquarters." I replied looking back to the crowds and starting to walk around the rim of the fountain.

"Cathy!" Winry pointed to the other side of the square, I squinted along her line of sight, scanning the crowd for any sign of the red clouds on black. I was focusing so hard on the far away crowd I slipped off the edge of the fountain and was plunged into slightly green water up to my ankles.

Finally I saw them through a gap in the crowd; a glimpse of red and black. I jumped out of the fountain and started dodging through the crowd, keeping my eyes locked onto the two ninja. There was a ring of empty space around them; as soon as I took a step inside of it Itachi whirled around, eyes blaring.

"Sharkbait!" I yelled, launching myself at Kisame and managing to catch him in a hug, the giant blue ninja flailed slightly before pulling me off of him. "You know you missed me. Speaking of which you two are terrible at blending in, and yet still very difficult to find. How do you manage that?" Both said nothing in reply, although Itachi deactivated his Sharingan. "You're looking well. Actually, you look almost purple Kisame, it's kind of creepy."

"You can talk, what on earth have you been doing, girly?"

"Well, I ran into Edward and Alphonse Elric and they found a lead!"

"What kind?" Kisame asked.

"The possibly getting us home kind! All we have to do is take a trip up North and sneak a peek at some cult and hope that they have something that Ed can work his amazing genius magic with." While I was saying this Winry had pushed her way through the crowd.

"Shall we go then?" She asked.

"Yes! There is a matter that I have always wanted to see resolved. I want to know if Kisame is taller than Al. Come on!" For the record, he is.


"So, is this all then? We don't need to go find anyone else to add to the party? You don't need to go find your performing monkey, or an elephant to ride on?" Ed said on our return.

"Nope, we just needed these two."

"You'd think they'd be easier to find, dressed like that.

"Who's this kid? He's smaller than Samehada." Kisame said, gesturing to Ed. The blonde stiffened, red pigment creeping across his skin.

"WHO'RE YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE'D BE A SNACK TO AN ANT!? We can't all be the size of sky scrapers you huge freak!" Ed yelled, so angry he was almost incoherent. Al reached over and held him back, restoring order.

"This is Edward Elric, the genius Alchemist who's going to get us back home. If he ever believes that we're from parallel worlds, that is. He's too much of a scientist to find me convincing. Hey Sharkbait, do something ninja-ey." Kisame made some quick hand signs and in a small poof of smoke he was once again blue and creepy looking.

"Wha-?" Ed's eyes widened, Kisame wasn't finished. In one smooth movement the large ninja flew across the room and pinned him to the wall, flashing him a pointy fanged smile.

"Convinced yet?"

"Yeah, convinced you're completely insane!" He said, Kisame growled and let him down.

"Come on! He's blue!" I said, "And Itachi can breathe fire! Hey, Weasel, breathe some fire!" Itachi did nothing. "Trust me, it's awesome." Ed and Winry shared a look.

"We leave first thing tomorrow morning." Ed said.

"Great, my train back to Rush Valley leaves pretty early too." Winry said, "Now I don't know about you but I'm starving, where we can find some food around here?"

"There's a cafeteria in the building, it's alright." Ed replied.

"As long as Sharkbait's not cooking, it's alright with me!" I said, the fish man growled in annoyance.


Winry woke me with the sun the next morning, also with pancakes.

"Morning Cathy!? Is your arm feeling better?"

"Yes! This so makes up for having to get on a train this early!" I said happily, we ate quickly and dashed across to the station. We made it their almost exactly on time with only a couple of minor incidents with a paper boy on a bicycle and a pigeon with a death wish; I suppose even Life sleeps in sometimes.

Goodbyes were exchanged, thanks made and last minute Automail equipment was foisted on Ed as Winry boarded her train and we began the wait for ours. It arrived just when I was thinking of taking a nap; which at first seemed like a handy coincidence, but was revealed by the hard, lumpy seats and sharp rocking to be just another of Life's gifts.

"You know, I would've thought these were more comfortable when you look at them from the ground." I commented, standing up and stretching. Ed was fast asleep, I observed with some jealousy, but Al was of course awake.

"Brother seems to have gotten used to it over the years, it was harder at first." He replied.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to go for a little walk to stretch out my legs." I said, walking towards the compartment door, "Hey wait," I stopped and looked around the small space. I realised that something was missing; Itachi and Kisame to be exact, "Well, at least I'm already going for a walk. I'd better go make sure those two aren't terrorising anyone, see you later Al."

I marched out the door into the corridor, we were in pretty much the middle car of the train; I decided to head for the end of the train first, and then make my way up through the whole thing.


This grand expedition was, however, short-lived. Itachi and Kisame were apparently meditating, or something very similar involving sitting very still and looking annoyed when interrupted, in the car directly next to us, which held some bunk beds and one of the smallest windows I had ever seen.

"It's smaller than my face!"

"Get out, Girly!" I slid out of the compartment and decided to continue my walk anyway, at least until the rocking of the train became so violently pronounced that it not only almost threw me through one of the larger windows, but also made me a tad seasick and I declared myself defeated and retreated to Ed and Al's compartment.

"So, how long do you think this trip'll take anyway?" I asked the now awake Ed, he shrugged.

"A few hours. Anywhere between 6 and 10, it depends if we get stuck in the snow or not."

"Oh. I should have brought a magazine or something. What do you normally do on these trips?"

"Sit and think, mostly." Al said.

"I might go for a walk or something, I feel a bit twitchy." I stood up and started pacing up and down the corridor just outside the compartment.

"What are you doing?" I jumped and landed on someone else's feet, and then jumped again to avoid them, Kisame was standing directly behind me, grimacing.

"Oh you know just being bored out of my brain!"

"How are you finding that?"

"…Wonderful. I'm having such a swell time, can't you tell? Where's the Wonder Weasel? If anything can make me feel cheery by comparison it's him." Kisame shrugged and started walking back down the train, I ran after him.

Ed was asleep again, and sitting at the other end of the compartment, his back towards the front of the train; was Itachi.

"Weasel boy! Hey!" I said, sprawling across from the ninja, "How're you finding this enthralling train journey through the gorgeous Amestrian countryside? Much better than camping out, eh? This way, we still get to see the pretty nature and it doesn't try to kill me. Again. Although that might be more interesting than-!" Something hit me in the back of the head, it was a newspaper.

"There's a crossword in there, give that a go." Ed said, lying back down and closing his eyes.

"A crossword?" I sighed and draped the newspaper over my face, "My vocabulary isn't nearly big enough, and the clues are usually stupid." I held the paper at arm's length, "Like that one for example it's… do you have a pen?" A pan landed on my face, "Thanks." I was still sitting down, but I could feel Ed's smug grin as he went back to sleep.

The crossword did keep me occupied for most of the afternoon, in the end I got too frustrated when the word I was trying to fill in didn't actually seem to exist; so I just made it up. If anyone asks phnarponberry is now a tridecalogism that means very bright. Although Ed said it was cheating. Eventually as the sun reached the middle of the sky, we had some lunch. Itachi and Kisame shared their rice balls with me, since I hadn't thought to bring anything.

"This reminds me of the good ol' days in the forest. I've really got to learn to cook." I said, "This could really use something else to spice it up. Like pizza."

"Shut up." Kisame said, I sighed.

"Fine, I'm going to go rest in the quiet of next door." Feeling way too excited about the prospect of not having to sleep on the ground in the dirt with sticks in my hair. I threw myself onto one of the beds and slid my bag underneath it; sighing happily as my eyes drifted shut. At the sound of the door squeaking along its rails I looked up. The dark figure of Itachi was silhouetted in all his grumpy ninja glory.

"Hey Weasel." I greeted, he walked over silently and sat down on the lower tier of the little bunk bed opposite mine. I reached down and rummaged in my bag. I held out Itachi's kunai across the gap, "I believe this is yours."

"Take it, I have more." He inched forward slightly and lay out on the bed.

"Thanks! I could use all the help I can get after all." I said cheerily, Itachi of course didn't reply. I dozed, the motion and noise was keeping me from complete sleep. Itachi remained awake, eyes on the door. When I shifted slightly they snapped to me. I cleared my throat and sat up a little.

"Sorry." I whispered, then more strongly; "Really, I'm sorry." Itachi didn't move, not even his eyes, "I didn't mean what I said before. I know…"

"You know more than is good for you." Itachi said at last, "In fact, now that we've got to some people who can give us the information we need, we don't have to put up with the threat." His Sharingan flared and he was suddenly standing directly over my bed, surprised I sat up and jerked away from him, thud. The crown of my head whacked into the base of the bed above me, full force.

I gasped in pain forgetting momentarily about the possibly murderous ninja at my side. When I did look up he was still there. As I flailed in surprise, trying to wriggle away from him, he lent down towards me slightly and pinned my wrists either side my torso. His eyes, burning red, bore into mine.

"I think if anyone's going to kill me, Kisame has first dibs, Weasel. Also, I don't think Ed would be likely to help you anymore." I managed, suddenly the weight on my wrists was gone. Itachi had obviously teleported; he was stretched out across the bed again. As I watched the sides of his mouth twitched up ever so slightly, then he rolled onto his side slightly, and closed his eyes.

Itachi Uchiha smiled! (At me! (Shut up hormones)) He was also now sleeping. This was momentous. I could hardly believe I wasn't actually asleep and dreaming myself. Shortly after that, possibly because of the fresh bump on my head, I was.


The screech of train brakes cutting through the darkness, mingling with my surprised yelp as I was thrown onto the floor; makes me think of what your laughter could sound like; Life.

"What the hell!?" I sat up rubbing my head where it had whacked on the floor, I looked to my left; Itachi was gone. I got up and walked to the door, stepping out into the growing crowd of people.

Cathy." A voice said from near the door, Ed appeared at my elbow, looking rumpled enough to have been in bed until a few seconds before.

"Hey, Ed. Any idea what happened?"

"Well, the train's stopped."


I am so sorry! My plan to finish it on my birthday, when I decided to take a break from my work, didn't work. Thankfully a family holiday to the middle of freaking nowhere meant no internet but lots of laptop access at night, so I typed most of this up around 11pm-3am over a few days.

Hopefully the next one will be quicker, I'll have more time in December, after exams.

DTFrogget