"HERE WE ARE!" Papyrus announced as he walked Aeris to the front of the restaurant. He made a show of holding the door open and bowing her in, which made her laugh.

"Really, Papyrus, you don't have to—whoa," she gasped, wobbling in her new white heels. Papyrus grabbed her arms to steady her.

"Are you all right, Princess?" He asked, giving her a concerned look as she finally regained firm footing. She gave him a smile that was a little pained.

"I'm fine, I promise. …Just that a crocodile and a cat forced me into a pair of death traps that I told them I didn't want to wear," she added in an undertone as she was led forward, Papyrus keeping a careful grip on her elbow and looking thoroughly delighted about it.

"Gee, that sounds like a set-up to one of my brother's awful jokes," Papyrus noted as they waited in the restaurant's queue for the host.

"Does it?"

"Yeah." Papyrus cleared his throat, dropping it several pitches. "'Hey, Papyrus, so a crocodile, a cat, and a human walk into a bar…' And then he'll say some terrible pun that makes me smile because it's so awful!"

A smile tugged at the corners of Aeris' mouth. "Would the punchline happen to be…'the skeleton ducks'?"

Papyrus gaped at her. "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?! Oh NO, don't tell me he told you that joke, too! I AM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO BE SUBJECTED TO THAT, PRINCESS!"

Aeris hid her growing smile behind a hand. "No, I haven't heard it. It just seems like something he'd say."

"It is! But I don't get it—what does a duck have to do with the story? Sometimes he makes no sense!"

Aeris laughed and chatted with Papyrus easily, seemingly unaware of the several pairs of eyes that were aimed in their direction.

"I really don't think this is a good idea…"

"Oh come on, Alphys! How often do we get to watch PAPYRUS on a date? This is better than any love interest on Mew Mew Kissy Cutie!"

Alphys gave a gasp like she had been mortally wounded. "I don't even know you anymore," she whispered, covering her face with her hands. Undyne looked uncomfortable, but before she could do anything to rectify the situation, a loud 'hmph!' sounded beside them.

"Honestly," Mettaton huffed, thoroughly failing to blend in with the crowd in his faulty disguise of sunglasses and a feather boa, "I don't know what Papyrus sees in her!"

"Well," Toriel spoke up from the next table over, taking a break from hiding behind her menu as Frisk doodled idly with the crayons they were given, "he does seem to like her bone structure…"

"Bone structure? Bone structure? Who needs bone structure when you've got legs like—OW!"

In the middle of his twirl to show off his legs, Mettaton was suddenly levitated into the air, and then fell back to the floor with a resounding crash. The patrons and the workers in the restaurant glanced over, and then went back to their business, as if this was a normal, everyday occurrence.

"I think that was your warning," said Undyne, barely concealing her glee as Mettaton struggled back into his seat, in full pout mode.

Toriel glanced over, momentarily catching Sans' eye before he ducked back behind the pillar he had selected as his sentry station for the night. Honestly, he should've just thrown the stupid robot out the window, but they were supposed to be incognito. Right before the date, Papyrus had apparently begged everyone he knew to come chaperone, so he didn't mess anything up. Mettaton hadn't been invited, but had showed up anyway, and Sans had only allowed him to stay on the condition that he wouldn't make trouble.

So far, he was on Strike One, and the date hadn't even officially started yet. Pathetic.

Gritting his teeth, Sans watched as Aeris and Papyrus were seated at a table in the center of the restaurant, a good distance away from the rest of them. Now, as long as no one drew any attention to them, they should be fine…which would honestly be a miracle, in Sans' opinion.

True enough, as soon as he thought that, Aeris, who was looking around at the restaurant, gazed in their direction. Toriel quickly hid behind her menu, but her size gave her away…that, and Frisk had noticed Aeris' gaze and had given her a big thumbs up. Looking bemused, Aeris' eyes swept that side of the restaurant, and Sans sighed to himself when she caught sight of Mettaton, who was glaring daggers at her over his sunglasses.

Sans huffed again and pulled out his cell phone. Time to do some damage control.

Over at their table, Aeris' phone began to buzz in the purse she borrowed from Alphys. She glanced down at it with a frown. Who was that? Everyone she knew was aware that she was on a date right now, so shouldn't they know better than to call or text her?

The buzzing stopped, and then picked up again. Frowning, Aeris reached for her purse, but then hesitated, looking up at Papyrus.

"I'm sorry…do you mind? I just want to turn it off…"

"Go ahead," Papyrus allowed with a wave of his hand, and he went back to perusing the menu, which had a lot of pasta options he had never even heard of before. Smiling at the way he was laughing delightedly to himself, Aeris unclasped the Mew Mew Kissy Cutie collector's bag, still astonished that Alphys had let such a precious thing out of her sight. But the triceratops had claimed that it would give Aeris luck on her date, so Aeris was really in no position to turn it down.

She fished out her cell phone, meaning to press the power button to turn it off, but was promptly distracted by Sans' name on the screen. With a guilty glance at Papyrus, she opened the texts.

'hey.'

'we're not here right now.'

'ignore us.'

Aeris blinked, glancing back over where she'd seen Toriel, Frisk, Undyne, Alphys, and for some reason, Mettaton. She hadn't seen Sans with them…but he must be, otherwise, why was he texting her?

Abruptly, she spotted him, hidden beside a pillar near Toriel and Frisk. He gave her a small wave and a cheeky grin. Aeris scowled. With another glance at Papyrus, she texted him back, her fingers flying across the keyboard of her cell phone.

Sans' cell phone chimed, and he pulled it back out of his pocket to eye the message.

'What. Are. You. Doing?'

Uh-oh. She wasn't pleased with him right now. She probably thought they were spying. …Well, they were, actually. But not for the reasons she probably suspected.

Shrugging it off as best as he could, Sans replied.

'pap's feeling nervous about this date.'

'he called us in for moral support.'

'so pretend you don't know we're here.'

Aeris' frown softened. So this was Papyrus' idea? Hmm…it made sense, she supposed. He was really nervous and jumpy when he came to pick her up, but then seemed to relax as soon as they got to the restaurant. It must've set him at ease, knowing his friends had his back. That was actually really sweet.

"Um…"

Aeris jumped, looking up at Papyrus, who was giving her a sheepish expression.

"I'm sorry. Are you…bored?" He asked. With a guilty start, Aeris realized she'd been glued to her cell phone for the past three minutes.

"Nope," she said, hastily pressing the power button on her phone and dropping it into her purse. "I just got distracted for a minute. Won't happen again, sorry."

Papyrus was still looking awkward, so Aeris decided to give him a nudge in the right direction. "So, you never finished telling me the story of how you all escaped the Underground. You left off at the part where Mettaton was in a dress or something?"

"Oh, I loved that part! I was simply fabulous, don't you think?"

"Shut up, you loud hunk of metal!"

Papyrus glanced around; though he knew his friends were supposed to be here, he apparently didn't know where they were. "Did you hear something?"

"Nope," Aeris lied with a forced grin. "Anyway, you were talking about this puzzle Frisk had to solve…?"

"OH, YES!" Papyrus recalled, and he launched into this epic tale about a puzzle with random tiles that would produce different results when stepped on. Aeris was a really good audience, Sans noted—she gasped, laughed, and cheered at all the right parts, and was polite enough to remind Papyrus of where he left off when he got distracted by the food, the other monsters, or Aeris' face. She hardly coughed the whole date, which was a blessing, since it meant Papyrus wouldn't be tripping over himself to help her, since he already seemed to be having a tough enough time keeping it together. And Mettaton had to be constantly reminded that Sans was there, for he frequently jumped out of his chair, as if he were about to storm over and break up the date himself. When Papyrus' hand finally inched all the way over from his side of the table, the tips of his bony fingers brushing Aeris' fingertips, Mettaton nearly exploded in a jealous rage. He jumped up, but only had to glance over at Sans, whose left eye was flaring in warning. Rather than sit back down, however, Mettaton stormed from the restaurant, apparently fed up. Alphys rushed off to calm him, and Undyne rushed off after Alphys, leaving Toriel, Frisk, and Sans to watch over Papyrus.

But Papyrus didn't seem to need any help at all, Sans noticed. Even when he stumbled over his own tongue and made a fool of himself, Aeris was patient and kind. And when he finally got up the nerve—not that skeletons had nerves—to touch her hand, Aeris smiled, her eyes shining as she laced her fingers with his. That got Papyrus overexcited, and she had to talk him down for about twenty minutes before he actually settled down.

Sans gazed at Aeris' face, flushed with happiness as she laughed at Papyrus' bashfulness. Pulling his hood up, the short skeleton left the restaurant.

Toriel and Frisk had Papyrus covered if anything went wrong. There was no reason for Sans to be there. No reason at all.

Hours later, Sans was sitting on the couch in his living room. The TV was on, but there was nothing good on, so he just sat there, staring blankly at the screen.

Papyrus should be home by now. Was the date going so well that he intended to stay out all night? Or had something gone wrong, causing him to disappear and sulk for a while before trudging back home?

Sans vacillated between the rock and the hard place, fighting with himself to either stay put, or go find Papyrus. He didn't want to arrive too late if his brother needed his help…but what if he and Aeris were just having a good time, and Sans interrupted? Papyrus would never forgive him. …Well, yes he would. But still.

The short skeleton sighed, sinking down into his hoodie as he thought about Aeris. She seemed genuinely happy on the date…did that mean she liked Papyrus? How should Sans know? It wasn't like she ever answered him when he asked, and though she always expressed herself honestly, she was still so hard to read. It was disorienting, like looking through a clear window pane, but seeing nothing but light that was too bright to make out anything distinctive. A month later, and he still had no idea how to deal with her. Sans felt like a failure.

Her expression from earlier in the boutique flashed through his mind: eyes widening, face turning pink. What had she been thinking when she was looking at him then? And, more importantly, what kind of expression was he making to make her look like that in the first place?

The doorknob rattled.

'Finally,' Sans thought, getting to his feet. He'd tease Papyrus a little about his date if his brother was in a good mood, and then he'd head to bed. For some reason, today had exhausted him.

"Just a second!" He heard Papyrus call through the door, and Sans froze where he was. Who was he talking to…?

"Is it stuck?" Queried a second voice, and Sans began to sweat. Oh no.

"No, it's just—being—DIFFICULT!" With that loud shout, the door finally popped open, taking Papyrus with it. He swung forward and fell on his face, only to jump up a moment later, rubbing the back of his head. "Nyeh heh heh…well, the door's open!"

"So I see," Aeris replied, looking amused as she stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She glanced around the living room, eyes falling on the TV. "…Is Sans here?"

"What?" Papyrus looked at the TV too, and he immediately scowled. "SANS, YOU LAZYBONES! TURN OFF THE TV IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WATCH IT! ELECTRICITY DOESN'T GROW ON TREES, YOU KNOW!"

Papyrus waited, but there was no response. "Hmm. He must not be home. He must have been too lazy to turn the TV off before he left!" The tall skeleton surmised. As he shuffled over to turn it off himself, Aeris' eyes traveled around the apartment. They gazed up at Papyrus's door…and then at Sans'. The short skeleton shifted back from the door, determined not to be seen. He only had the door open a crack so he could see, but now he was wondering if it was such a good idea. He waited a couple minutes, daring to peek out again. Aeris was no longer looking in his direction, but her lips were pursed. Sans got the nasty feeling that she knew he was here.

"So! This is me and Sans' house!" Sans watched as Papyrus rubbed the back of his head, blushing pink. "But, I, uh, guess you knew that…"

Aeris smiled. "Could I have a tour?" She suggested.

"SURE!" Papyrus tripped over himself to oblige her, leading her first to the kitchen, where he explained, loudly and unnecessarily, all of the features of said kitchen. They returned to the living room, and Papyrus listed all of the things present in there before moving onto the bathroom, which they had consented to add to their new house for Frisk's use. As they made their way up the stairs, Sans' feeling of unease grew. He really shouldn't be here right now. He should teleport somewhere else, spend some time at Grillby's II, and just be anywhere but here, really. He didn't want to hear just how well this date was going. It felt like an invasion of privacy, not to mention that hearing how much fun Aeris and his brother were having was doing strange things to Sans—

"And this is my brother's room!" Papyrus announced right outside the door, making Sans jump. He accidentally fell against the door, making it click closed. There was an uncomfortable pause outside the door.

"Does it…always close by itself?" Was Sans imagining the barely-there amusement in Aeris' voice?

"It's never done that before," Papyrus admitted, though he sounded unconcerned. "But Sans is weird, so his room is also weird! You don't wanna go in there—it's a mess, trust me. There are socks EVERYWHERE!"

Sans gritted his teeth in annoyance. He told Papyrus not to say anything about his socks.

Not daring to move, the short skeleton listened as their footsteps traveled away, towards Papyrus' room.

"And this is…" Sans heard Papyrus pause dramatically, and had a feeling he knew what was coming next… "THE BONE ZONE!"

Sans heard Aeris snort. "So that is what you call your room?"

"Er…not really. That's what Undyne wants me to call it, though. I don't really get why. I think it's a bad skeleton pun she might've heard from my brother."

"I see," Aeris giggled.

"So, er…do you wanna…come inside? I can show you my figurines, or my race car bed?"

Sans pressed his skull to the door, not liking the silence that fell between them. If only he could see what was going on…but he couldn't open his door again without either of them noticing. Damn it.

Just as he was getting really anxious, Aeris spoke. "Um…maybe another time. I'd rather just sit on the couch and talk. If you don't mind."

"Oh, sure!" Papyrus didn't sound too disappointed. Sans was relieved by that. Yes, just relieved that his brother hadn't been shot down. That was the only reason he was breathing easier right now.

Their footsteps traveled down the stairs. Carefully, very carefully, Sans eased his door open again, just enough for one of his eye sockets to peek out.

Aeris had taken a seat with her back to him. This was mildly disappointing—it meant that Sans would have to judge her expression by the tone of her voice alone. Great. At least he could see Papyrus, but his brother was so easy to read that Sans could tell what he was thinking through the wall that separated their rooms.

The tall skeleton sat facing Aeris. Sans could see him fidgeting, trying to think of something to say. Dear, sweet, bumbling Papyrus.

"…So," he began, glancing at Aeris' face, away, and back again. "Did you have a good time?"

"I had a great time," Aeris emphasized, and Sans could hear her smiling. "Did you know that that was my first date ever?"

Papyrus' eye sockets nearly popped out of his skull. "R-REALLY?! THAT WAS YOUR FIRST DATE EVER? A-AND YOU WANTED TO SPEND IT—WITH ME?!"

Aeris laughed at his reaction, coughing a little at the tail end. Papyrus looked concerned, but she waved it off. "Of course. Why wouldn't I want to spend it with you?"

"R-RIGHT! Why not?! After all, I AM very great! Nyeh heh heh heh…"

'Her dating power is off the charts,' Sans thought wryly, watching his brother blush. Really, if Papyrus became any more smitten, he was going to become insufferable.

"Th-then…since you had a great time—and since I am very great—I, the Great Papyrus, have something to ask you!"

Aeris waited. So did Sans, his non-existent nerves tingling. Was Papyrus going to ask what Sans thought he was going to ask…?

"…Yes?" Aeris prompted when Papyrus didn't say anything at first, shifting around so much that his bones rattled.

"Ahem. Yes, well…I, the Great Papyrus, wanted to ask you…wanted to ask you…"

"Wanted to ask me…what?" Aeris pressed again as the tall skeleton lapsed into silence.

"Please don't rush me," he requested, turning red again as he rubbed the back of his skull.

"Sorry," Aeris apologized, "I'll wait."

And she did. She waited patiently as Papyrus tried and failed to stutter his way through his question. Finally, when he seemed to get his tongue untied, the tall skeleton cleared his throat and asked, "Princess, I, the Great Papyrus, would like to ask you…to be my girlfriend!"

Sans took in the silence. He felt something inside him plummet, and suddenly, he felt horrible. He really shouldn't be listening to this. He shouldn't be intruding on such a private moment. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear what answer Aeris would give Papyrus. It wasn't his business. He had nothing to do with this. He—

Suddenly, the front door burst open. Aeris was startled into a coughing fit, and Papyrus cried, "WHAT THE HECK?!"

"Ohhh myyy!" Crowed a familiar voice, and Sans snapped back to himself, peering through the crack in the door again. Sure enough, to his great annoyance, there stood a flamboyant robot in his living room, with a camera crew. Mettaton had arrived.

"Did you hear that at home, folks? Such an impassioned confession! How will the human respond?! Let's watch the drama unfold, shall we?"

That's it. The robot was dead.

Sans threw open his door, but no one was paying attention to him—Mettaton was too busy waving the cameraman forward, shoving the lens into Aeris' face.

"Go on, then, darling," Mettaton encouraged, a sickly sweet smile on his face, "pretend we're not even here!"

"W-WOWIE!" Papyrus exclaimed, eye sockets wide as he took in the madness. "METTATON IS HERE, IN MY HOUSE, FILMING MY LOVE CONFESSION! I-I'M SO HONORED!"

Mettaton's expression twitched, his smile looking painful now.

"That's right! We have come to watch you capture the heart of this plain-looking human!" Mettaton announced, and Sans rolled his eyes at the petty jealousy in the robot's voice. "Well, go on, honey! The crowd at home is waiting!"

Aeris, however, didn't seem to care much about the crowd. She placed her hand on the lens, blocking the camera from seeing anything, completely ignored Mettaton, and turned to Papyrus.

"Papyrus," she began calmly, though there was a note of steel in her voice, "I'd rather talk about this with you in private."

"Oh myyy! Could this be a reje—mmph!" Mettaton was cut off by Aeris shoving her hand in his face next. He was in mid-twirl, so when she shoved him, he fell over dramatically. "Oh, the humanity!" He groaned, causing his camera crew to crowd around him. The cameraman attempted to keep filming, but suddenly found the camera out of his grasp. He watched, dumbstruck as it flipped through the air and crashed to the floor, ruined.

"Whoops," Sans said, suddenly right beside the cameraman. "Sorry 'bout that. My hand must've slipped." His grin grew frightening, his left eye flaring with blue light. "I was aiming for your head."

The cameraman seemed to think that whatever Mettaton paid him wasn't worth this, because he fled a moment later, yelping in a frightened manner. Mettaton was still laid out on the floor, being a drama queen with his crew around him, but Sans ignored them for the moment. Aeris had taken Papyrus' hand and led him away into the kitchen, away from the madness. Sans stood beside the doorway, keeping out of sight, and listened.

"Papyrus," Aeris began, and her tone was incredibly kind, "I am so flattered that you feel that way about me. I'm very happy. …But…"

Papyrus sighed. "This is because my bones aren't strong enough, isn't it?"

Aeris laughed a little. "No, it isn't that at all. I like your bones, Papyrus. I like you. It's just…I don't think I know you well enough to be your girlfriend yet."

"Oh." There was a pause, and Papyrus spoke, his voice tentatively hopeful. "Then…if you get to know me well enough—"

"Then ask me again," Aeris said, and Sans could hear the smile in her voice, "in about six months, if you need a time limit."

"Six months? Very well! I, the Great Papyrus, will show you all there is to know about being me! And then, in six months' time, I will ask you to be my girlfriend again! Look forward to it, Princess! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

Like the proper gentleman that he was, Papyrus offered to walk Aeris home. Sans hid when they exited the house, emerging only when he was sure they were gone. He stood in the hallway for a moment, irresolute. On the one hand, he was glad that Aeris hadn't turned Papyrus down completely. She had given his brother hope that she might return his affections one day, and that would keep his spirits up, even if the initial rejection was a bit disappointing.

But…on the other hand…

Mettaton's overdramatized groans cut through Sans' thought process. Abruptly, he remembered that the robot was in his house. Without permission.

Walking down at his leisure, he stepped over to the crew, where Mettaton was now willing his possessions to…no one, actually. He was requesting to be buried with all his possessions, and was giving them an extensive list when Sans arrived. As if sensing the skeleton's presence, Mettaton cut himself off, his expression becoming more and more fearful the higher his eyes traveled, until they were locked on Sans' glowing eye sockets.

"Welp," Sans began, raising his hand, which was encased in blue fire, his grin becoming manic, "looks like the show's over for you, buddy."

And he then proceeded to take out the trash.