Chapter Eight
Jasper
I hated leaving Bella and Kat, I knew I shouldn't be feeling the way I did but it was beyond my control. There was something very special about Bella, something that made me feel whole and I felt better knowing she didn't hate me, hate us. Whatever happened between her and Edward it wasn't as simple as the story he had told the rest of us. I wanted to help her but I knew she was far too independent to accept charity and I didn't know how without insulting her. Would the roads be open tomorrow? It was likely, the ploughs had been out all day and roads seldom stayed shut long but I prayed for heavy snow fall all night to give me an excuse for another evening with her. I got rid of the pudding and went off to hunt ranging as far as the highway which to my dismay was almost free of snow now with ploughs still operating and I cursed. Two deer fell under my weight and I drank deeply although neither Bella nor Kat smelled like prey to me. When I got back to my motel room I slumped in the chair, I had no excuse to stay any longer but I didn't want to continue my journey, I wanted to stay here with Bella. I picked up the book I'd started yesterday but the words just floated before my eyes and eventually I put it down and closed my eyes conjuring up scenes from the day, a Christmas day I had enjoyed, the first in many years.
Bella
I washed Kat and put her to bed with Simon, Lily, and the picture book which she put under her pillow. She did that with anything she cherished like a little squirrel with its stash of nuts. I had enjoyed Christmas day much more than I expected and as I soaked in the tub I closed my eyes and thought about the day. I still had the headache but I hadn't noticed it while Jasper was here, he had a soothing influence on me. Drying myself quickly in the icy bathroom I pulled on the sweats I slept in and made myself hot chocolate then sat beside the dying fire to sip it. What I wanted was not to go to bed alone and wake up alone, not to go to work and still struggle to live, what I wanted was the money to take Kat to a good pediatric hospital, in short what I wanted was the kind of life I could only dream about. With a sigh I washed up my mug went to kiss my sleeping daughter goodnight and crawled into bed feeling rotten again, my cold was back, a sore throat and sneezes galore. Well my day had been good and I couldn't expect it to last. It wasn't snowing any longer so the roads would be open again tomorrow and Jasper would be gone, he'd been my Christmas miracle, an angel who touched down just long enough to spread a little joy then flew off once more. Listening to myself I realised I must be feverish.
When I woke up the sun was shining and although it was still very cold it hadn't snowed over night. I showered then got Kat up and gave her breakfast guilty I had to take her out in the cold when we should be home today enjoying ourselves but money called. I dropped her off at day care, which was costing a lot over the festive season then drove in to work. It wasn't very busy but steady and by lunchtime I was feeling pretty rough again but I went over to the restaurant hoping that Jasper might be there but the place was almost empty, just a few women having lunch while shopping. I felt so deflated although I had absolutely no reason to expect him to still be here., Everyone was talking about how quickly the road had been ploughed while personally I would have preferred it to stay blocked until after the New Year at the earliest.
Then I stopped myself,
"Bella you idiot. He only came over because he was stuck in town and you asked him. He was kind to Kat because that's the kind of person he is, not because he liked her or even you. All you are is Edwards ex girlfriend, broke and struggling with a disabled child and no husband. Why on earth would he hang around?"
After giving myself that remarkably robust talking to I swallowed a couple of cold capsules and went back to work. It was busier this afternoon and time went quickly. I picked Kat up from day care only to find she'd caught my cold and had been grizzly all day.
"If she's no better in the morning I really don't think you should bring her Bella, it's not fair on her or the other children"
The staff were right of course and if Kat felt as bad as I had then the last thing she needed was to be dragged out into the freezing cold early in the morning but not working meant no pay which meant tightening my belt even further...still we'd manage, we always did.
Once home I got Kat some hot soup and bread but she wasn't hungry, she just wanted a cuddle so I put aside my own meal to lay with her on the couch and cuddle. I told her fairy stories about princesses and talking animals and felt her relax against me falling asleep finally although her face was flushed and she felt hot, too hot. If her temperature didn't go down I would have to take her to the Emergency Room and I wasn't sure I had enough gas to get there and back. God why did nothing ever go smoothly for us? I wriggled free without waking her and had my now cold soup and bread then made myself hot coffee and put some logs on the fire, there weren't many left and I didn't get another delivery for a week so when she was in bed I would have to let the fire die and wrap up warm myself or go to bed too. I checked her temperature again an hour later and it had risen enough to scare me so I wrapped her in blankets and started the car to warm up the interior then went back in to pick her up grabbing my purse and slamming the door behind me. I had no idea how long I'd be and I couldn't chance the house getting cold with a sick child so I had put another of my precious logs on the fire, I'd worry about the next week when we got back.
The Emergency Room was mercifully quiet and we were seen quickly which was just as well because Kat was burning up and I could hear her chest myself. The doctor was a young man and he was very kind but Kat would need to stay in, she was developing pneumonia and needed strong medication, especially as her chest was always her weak point.
"There aren't any rooms with a bed for you I'm afraid."
"That's OK I'll sleep in the chair by her bed"
He nodded smiling slightly at a mothers determination.
"We'll get her settled as soon as we can"
It was an hour before Kat was finally in a bed with a drip up and I sat in the half dark watching her flushed face, her hair stuck to her fevered forehead and her fist holding tight to Simon.
"You'll be fine Kat. The doctor will make you better and then we can go home."
She opened her eyes but they were glassy and I don't think she knew I was there. I wiped tears away and sat back closing my eyes again and praying for her to be OK.
