Harry sighed.
"What's got you so happy?" asked Hermione.
"Well I find it relaxing that we don't have to scramble to solve some big mystery this year. Remember last year?"
Hermione's eyes light up with understanding. Ever since the great paint and glitter battle on Valentine's day (in which the twins publicly declared him their new hero) she had been a bit more relaxed. Frankly Harry had been glad of the fact.
If Harry hadn't threatened to set the entire Gryffindor house on her with the water guns and paint, she might have gone overboard with the study guides like last year.
As it was, she found it surprisingly cathartic to set dummies on fire that looked like certain Slytherin girls with a spell Richard taught her.
Every time she started to feel too concerned about exams, Harry would hand her something she never thought she would ever dare handle.
She didn't know where he got a shot gun, and frankly she didn't think it would be good for her sanity to ask. There were some things you were never meant to know, and the fact her best friend was a pyromaniac with a love of things that blew up and guns was one of them.
Besides, as Harry had cheerfully pointed out, all one had to do to gain unlimited access to the restricted section was amuse Professor Richard.
Pansy Parkinson had become a very familiar face in the Hospital Wing, because Hermione had seized the opportunity of Defense class to hex the girl until she was blue in the face.
Richard promptly agreed to sign any papers allowing her to remove books from the library if she needed them, provided she continued to entertain him.
Harry had laughed himself sick that night.
"Cheer up mate, at least next year we get to pick our classes. Too bad we can't drop potions," said Ron.
"Nah, potions is actually quite fun once you know what to bribe Snape with," said Harry with an insane grin.
Harry had found an odd sort of balance with Snape, once he realized Richard was there to stay for the moment. And thanks to an obscure spell Harry had already cast on the class, none of the students would think to mention that the infamous warlock was the teacher until Richard finally got bored enough to leave Hogwarts.
Probably around the same time Harry graduated.
Harry didn't want his fun ruined because Draco or any of the other students with families in the Ministry happened to say the wrong thing. Like he told McGonagall once she found out...at least with Richard he knew for a fact that if he accidentally killed him it wouldn't be personal or more annoying, Voldemort related. And there was no way Richard would ever side with (and Harry would quote him on this...) 'a two-knut hack with almost zero talent and a lack of imagination'.
Harry, to his amusement, aced all his exams. Unlike Ron he had no desire to scry the future, which according to some of the older students was all Trelawny focused on. If you had the talent, then it was useful, but Richard had agreed to show him how to scry the present and see events from another continent. You didn't need the knack foretelling required, but a crystal ball would be extremely useful and it was less wonky. Some people even used mirrors.
Hermione, to Harry's annoyance, signed up for everything. Including, to his disgust, muggle studies.
She was mundane raised. She didn't need that outdated class. And he knew it was outdated because he asked one of the twins for a copy of their textbook.
Not a single mention of computers and the closest thing to a modern airplane looked like something out of a history book from the 1940's. It was also pretty clear it hadn't been updated in a long time.
That being said, he was not taking any class that involved math. He hated math. Runes, however, he cheerfully signed up for, along with COMC and Advanced Charms. His grades were high enough that he had a chance to get in.
If Hermione loosened up, she would be the top student, and she might even be considered for the advanced courses. And speaking as someone who had to do the grading for a core subject, Harry could honestly say her claim as being the 'top student' was highly exaggerated...she was in the top ten, yes, but she wasn't in the top spot.
Harry firmly had that spot, as he had learned by accident from Richard. He had yet to figure out if it was from pity or something else.
He would have taken advanced transfiguration, but he figured he was pushing it as it was with McGonagall. She might decided to watch him closer than normal and figure out he was the one who brought Richard to Hogwarts. And potions... enough said. Herbology he hedged on until he talked with Neville and learned he was planning to take the advanced courses as well.
With his classes picked, Harry felt he made the right decision. Besides, he had a week to look forward to with the Dursleys before Richard showed up to put the fear of him into them and Harry happily showed Vernon his new toys.
If that rocket launcher didn't make that fat bastard piss himself, Harry would eat his cloak. Especially since it was the same one he used on Marge.
Harry actually enjoyed his 'prison sentence' at Privet Drive. Mainly because the Dursleys were now very well aware of how badly they had screwed up in raising Harry that he wouldn't think twice about killing them if annoyed too much. Or at least maiming them.
Realizing that your nephew had a casual disregard for the safety of others to the point he would happily set you on fire at the first chance...and it was your fault...was a nasty wake up call to Petunia.
It was during his last day at Privet Drive that something interesting finally happened that would set the tone for the rest of the year.
Sirius Black escaped Azkaban.
Sirius POV
It had gone surprisingly well. Because no one expected him to be an Animagus, they didn't think to look for random animals.
It had taken him very little time to reach Surrey, primarily because of an odd comment he heard from Kingsley during Harry's first year about how it was surprising how unlike Harry Potter was quieter than James had ever been, and how ratty his clothing looked.
Another Auror had commented on how it was probably because the boy had been raised by muggles and who knew how Dumbledore's mind worked if he had come up with that idea.
It hadn't taken that much of a jump in logic to realize with horror that perhaps Dumbledore had been stupid enough to place Harry with Petunia of all people. Everyone who knew Lily KNEW her sister hated magic, so much so that she had cut any and all connections to Lily because of it.
That, combined with the fact that Peter was apparently alive and hiding with the Weasleys, was all the incentive Sirius needed to escape.
He had to be sure spending ten years with Petunia hadn't traumatized his poor godson.
Which lead to this.
He was in a suburban hell called Little Whinging where every house looked alike, with only the gardens and cars having any variance. If it wasn't for the twelve-going-on-thirteen year old that looked far too much like James for it to be a coincidence, he never would have been able to find Harry without being busted first.
As it was, Sirius Black very nearly had a heart attack when he recognized the thing casually walking up to the house Harry was at and striking up a conversation with him. From the sound of it, it was pretty evident Harry not only knew the warlock, but was friendly with him.
What the bloody hell was going on? Why would his pup know Richard?
All that confusion turned to horrified panic when Harry locked eyes with his large canine form, and scant seconds later he found himself in a terrifying void after having a sack thrown on top of him.
This was not his best day.
Normal POV
"So this is the infamous tower," said Harry.
"What's left of it at any rate. Gnarl had me place some heavy duty protection spells on the place when it became clear the wizards had either sealed or hidden the gauntlet,"agreed Richard.
It could have been imposing, once. Now it was a decaying mess that looked ready to collapse. And he was betting it was only magic that kept it standing upright.
The two walked past the horrifying sights and Richard's experimental garden (the warlock made a note to come back with some heavy duty pruning shears and some fire to clear out the weeds) into the tower itself.
There was a subtle hum that seemed to resonate with Harry's bones and magical core.
It wasn't until they found the throne room that Harry finally came face-to-face with Gnarl.
"What brings you back Richard? I must admit the additions to the garden set the tone delightfully. Though I'm afraid I'll have to send one of the browns to restock the tea."
"No need. We merely came so my apprentice could claim his new toy. I believe you know of it?" said Richard, grinning.
The second Gnarl saw the gauntlet, he all but fell to his knees.
"A new Overlord! After all this time, all the waiting!" he said with glee.
"So what exactly does being Overlord entail?"
"Not much. It's more of a title these days. Basically you get a free tower to do all your forbidden spell research, beautiful women in slutty armor once you're old enough to care about that sort of thing, a bunch of minions that will do anything you ask, and of course once you have the tower properly established and restored, free entry as a lord of darkness...at least until you're kicked out. If you're lucky, you get to keep your title as Evil Overlord," shrugged Richard.
"Hmm... Wonder if Luna would agree to be my assistant..." said Harry thoughtfully. She was the only reason the homework was ever graded on time. For someone so...out there...she was surprisingly well organized. Plus she could help pick up new creatures to guard the place from annoying do-gooders like Dumbledore.
"Wait...did you say apprentice?" said Gnarl.
"And technically his new handler, though the most I do is give him a reason why he can't kill people just yet and point him at targets no one particularly care about. I think this year we should go to Africa."
"Hmm...Good point. And it would be a nice starting point for you to start collecting monetary bribes from grateful tribesfolk for dealing with idiots after the diamonds," said Richard.
"Yeah, no one particularly cares about those guys," nodded Harry.
"Especially considering you got paid for me to clear out two orphanages and that factory filled with people who would have died young from overwork anyway," said Richard.
"Will wonders never cease...an Overlord with some common sense!" said Gnarl, very giddy indeed. Of course he would have to retrieve the heart and some of the hives to make it official, but at this point Harry Potter was almost guaranteed to be one of the better Masters he had worked for.
Anyone who got along with Richard that well already had the proper mindset for evil, or at least chaotic neutrality.
"First things first...you had better get the heart back so you can properly claim the gauntlet. You can work on retrieving the hives during the holidays...plus if you space it out, no one will see your reign coming until it's too late," said Richard.
Seeing the glint in Harry's eyes, Gnarl's delight only rose in proportion to Richard's amusement on the matter. Oh yes...the gauntlet had definitely chosen well this time.
It took him two hours to find and retrieve the Tower Heart, and once he did that, the buzz in the back of his head turned into a constant hum. It wasn't unpleasant, but it was always there in the back of his mind.
The only thing he found weird was that it was, for some reason, deep within the Forbidden Forest.
At least Harry got to have some fun by setting a good chunk of the Acromantula nest he came across on fire. Considering the cheering section of Richard and Gnarl, which amusingly came with them pointing out survivors trying to escape the blaze, he had a lot of fun.
Besides...they had to deal with that weird dog who had been staring far too intently for it be an actual dog.
Gnarl, of course, was very quick to offer up the tower dungeons, sparse as they were for the moment. Richard agreed to share his tools, considering he rarely bothered to use them anymore.
Needless to say it was a very horrified Sirius Black who shifted from that dog form to see his godson with a massive fireball in hand ready to torch him.
This was so not how he wanted this day to go.
