Summary: Sasuke's been watching Hinata for a while, reasons unknown to him. Maybe that's why it's so surprising when she confesses her depression of feeling so hopeless. She trains so hard, pushing herself close to death, and finds herself being nursed to health by Sasuke. He wants to give her a reason to live and a reason to stay with him, so he unveils his reasoning in this story told from his perspective. Warning: ...just read it.
hmfan: I've updated twice! Although it may seem like it at first, I am not a Hinata basher. Someone stated, "Hinata is too fragile fore Sasuke's wrath!" No one has mentioned Hinata's power. After little screen time, how is she able to have one of the biggest fandoms of the entire series? Now that's power.
Invisible
"N-Naruto-kun."
That girl stared at him all day long. She'd look then blush then look away. It was a never ending cycle, yet I somehow desire snacks. I barely remember her. It's especially hard to tell from this distance and angle.
I leaned against the trunk of the tree, high up in it, scoffing. She's not like my fanclub. It'd take a twisted girl to fall for that baka. Not that I take pride in my fanclub. It simply justifies my reasoning - Naruto is inferior. Power is apparently equivalent to appeal.
Hyuuga? Yeah, she's been like this for a while. My thoughts switched back to the girl and my heart pounded. She fought so hard, yet she's just about the weakest. I leaned forward, intoxicated by her actions. The damage of the tree paled in comparison to how hard she tried. Her chakra depleted and blood dripped from her; the more she lost - the more she pushed herself harder. Damnit, hasn't she heard of people dying from pushing themselves this hard? She doesn't have the sense to stop either.
"N-Naruto-kun!"
Her motivation or is that who she...loves?
I didn't know what to feel then. I was shocked by my shock.
If all possible, I wanted her inspiration to be from me. I was one to look at. Unbeknown to me, her love was the most valuable honor I could ever posses. I'd have something different to live for. Never would I have to delve into my pain or past. At that moment, however, seeing her was enough to get by.
Then, I was still too self-absorbed to admit to myself I'd grown fond of her. "She's so weak," I said to myself, for the sixteenth time. I felt myself drowning into ecstasy from watching her. I closed my eyes, muttering contradictions to these new-found feelings. Heat rose to through my entire body to my face - thinking of her. How twisted was I to get something out of watching a weak girl like her train? Her power must be greater than I could perceive it as. How else could she have this affect on me? Genjutsu.
I opened my eyes and saw her peer back at me, "U-U-Uchiha-san," I read her lips as she collapsed, not far from the tree.
I snapped out of whatever trance I was in and stood in front of her, "You're not worth saving. I should leave you." Using my foot, I pushed her to her back. "Her eyes," I exclaimed, cringing. A mixtre of blood and tears flowed from them. It was as if she were dea-..."Fuck!" I couldn't tell if she was breathing, but she had a pulse. Hesitant, I unzipped her jacket. Who wears a jacket while training, anyway?
My hands trembled, opening her jacket to hear her breath. My face heated up once more. She wore a tank top, black, tight for her assets. I gulped, biting my lower lip, and hovered my hand over her mouth, "Y-You're barely breathing." Why was this procedure so sensual? I wiped her face of blood and tears, leaning forward to her face. I placed my hands on both sides of her and spread her lips. "I'm only saving you so I won't be bored." I told the unconscious Hyuuga, and myself, "Get some sense so I don't have to do this again."
Lowering my head, I pressed my lips upon hers to preform CPR. It was for her life, I wanted to believe. Slowly, but surely she regained normal pulse and breath. Her temperature was still high, she needed rest. I took her away from here. I forget how long I walked. With her so close to me, it was hard simply seeing where I was going.
She rested in an inn. Stupid people asked if she needed to see a doctor. Idiots noted how 'cute' it was that I cared so much for her. As long as we got a room, I was fine.
I looked over to her. How long would she be asleep? I'd spent hours already thinking of how I was going to explain her situation. "You're my hostage." or "Konoha would suspect something." or "You have something I need." Either explanation would end with him saying, "So you'll have to stay with me."
Her eyes were fine. If it's anything like Sharingan, stress can cause eyes to bleed. I had put ice on it.
"Why am I here?" it was only natural for her to inquire. Although, shouldn't she be more fearful? "I was training."
I smirked, putting down my tea, "It took you a ridiculously long time to wake up."
She didn't shake at all. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail down her back. I had forgotten her jacket, but she looked better without it anyway. "I was training to help Naruto."
It seemed like we were having two completely different conversations, "You snored, too." Damn, did I love her incoherent sleep talk. "And talked."
Finally she decided to ask about something relevant, "About what?"
I sighed, leaning on my arms. It was midnight. "I don't know - same stuff you say when you train. Stuff like 'Naruto-kun' and 'Work harder'." My tone was jealous. She didn't noticed. I was beginning to accept girls like her - quiet ones.
"W-Why would I say-...Why would you be watching me?!" I liked the way she pointed her finger at me. Her eyebrows furrowed and her cheeks were redder than usual.
The questions kept coming, but I didn't answer. Although her voice was serene and pleasant, I wanted her to shut up. "I don't need a reason," I declared in a low tone. She looked at me, expecting me to say something else. There was silence for a moment, "I was bored." I lied, smirking. At that time, I told myself the same thing. Watching her was just like watching clouds, something to focus on.
She seemed disappointed, probably expecting more. "You're lying. The only reason I'm here is for your amusement or hostage or something I have..." she sighed, leaning on the wall.
"Yeah," I was hesitant to say, but it seemed she was already beating herself up enough. My additional degrading wasn't necessary.
"Why am I here?"
I looked away, to the window, "Everyday that goes by, I watch the sun go down. We only have twelve hours of sunlight. Only recently have I desired to spend a portion of those hours with someone else, at least until the sun goes down. This desire began when I saw you. Desires get in my way - unless it's to avenge my clan."
Hinata stared at her feet, trying to decide if my statement was flattery or an insult, "Is this a metaphor?"
"No."
"Why am I here?"
"Because you exist."
"Why am I here, with you?" she firmly said, raising her voice a little. Although her voice was remained soft, it sent chills down my spine.
"I saw you."
"Why did you bring me here?"
"I couldn't let you see me see you."
"Why would that make you bring me?"
"You saw me."
"Why-..."
"Stop asking stupid questions!" she was intruding on my personal thoughts. I couldn't allow that to happen. Her health continued to wane. I saw her cough up blood onto her arm, "Go lay down or something." I mumbled, sternly. That probably didn't help.
She looked up from below her bangs. Her eyes were bloodshot, "S-Sorry, I-I didn't know."
It came to the point where I needed to say something. Apparently, that wouldn't work - every time I opened my mouth, no words could form. Soon I felt my arms wrapping around her body. I tightened my arms around her, cringing at her softness. She tensed up as well. I hadn't...hugged? Is that what it's called? I hadn't hugged someone in such a long time. I gritted my teeth frowning, "If you cry, I swear to God I'll kill you!" Damn, I found that didn't work as I saw tears run down her cheeks.
She started to shake, "S-Sorry. J-Just tell me what I need to do. I'll do anything."
Anything? Heat rose to my face and my grip tightened a little more. I never realized how much those words could affect me - any words for that matter. Although her tone, having fear, twisted those words to mean something less than I'd hoped. She must have felt my heart beat from her hands being on my chest because she slowly looked up to my face then sharply looked down. "I won't kill you, damnit. I saved your ass. What would be the point of me taking your life?"
"I said I'd do anything, let me go!" the once meek girl decided to fight against me, in my arms, so I let go. She looked at me, panting from fatigue. "What if I wanted to die? What if I wanted you to leave me alone? What is the point for you saving a weakling like me?"
What was the point? I sat on the table, folding my leg and placing my foot on the table, "You caught me watching you. I was vulnerable and couldn't let you catch me like I was." I stopped, but she wanted more out of me, so I told her what was on my mind, "You're not invisible and you're worth a lot. If you were invisible then I wouldn't go out of my way to watch you train everyday." I couldn't look at her now, "I can't stop thinking about you."
"So may I leave?"
No, she can't! I couldn't let her out of my sight now, "If you stay, you'll never feel worthless, for I value you in my sight. If you stay, you'll never feal weak, for I'll protect you with all my strength. If you stay, you'll never want to leave, for I will give you everything I have. If you stay, you'll never feel fear, for I will keep off all intimidation. If you stay, you'll forever live as the treasured, strong, and lovely woman you deserve to be." I wrote that.
She stopped at the door she was about to walk out of, "How can I trust you?"
"I saved your life. Does that make you feel any better than you did in Konoha?"
"Yes, but I -..."
"But if you go back, you'll feel just the same as you have all your life."
"I have responsibilities."
"You owe them nothing! They don't give a damn about you! The only responsibility you have is to yourself."
"S-Sasuke, I just can't leave, Konoha is my home-..." she began to cough.
"Go rest. Don't think too hard. If you want to leave then do so. All I ask is that you wait until you fully heal - until the morning."
She surprisingly did so, not giving me any more fights. As she slept, I watched her. A feeling kept developing in my throat and I continuously gulped it down, "You've worked so hard until the end of the day. Until now it was all in vane. Until now you've desired to be watched. Now I'm here and you push me away. Now I'm here and you don't want to stay. My only wish if for you to find your place. If I can't do that...If I'm not the one for you...who is rather how can I be that one? Just don't allow yourself to be pushed to tears, blood, or pain - please. I've seen it happen for too long. How long must I wait?"
I felt stupid. She'd just met me and I poured out my heart - begging her. This was the first time I got the words together for her - for me. Now it's clear and I had nothing to lose, "All I need is her love." The mention of the word 'love' made my heart skip a beat and my stomach flutter. I didn't like it, but the thought of me making her happy caused me to be elated, "I need your love because I love you."
One Year Later, on that very day...
I never knew it'd be a short time before she could finally say she loved me, too. She was the first to say it, but I was the first to feel it.
That morning, months ago, she'd left the morning after. I must say, those two hours were the longest I've ever had to experience. As I exited the Inn, I remember seeing her cleaned up and ready to leave with me. That moment, I remember tears flowing down my face, but I'm not sure if she saw them.
I noticed changes in her. She was happier with me. I was doubtful at times, for I'd caught her crying on several occasions. We fought, hard, but not often. Many times she came close to leaving me for good. I'd always go after her. She'd always come back. We'd never go long before repeating this saga.
However, those moments she smiled for me, I'll never forget. Yes, she smiled for me - sometimes just so I could smile back. Her smile is beautiful smile was just that - beautiful. I miss it so much.
I frowned, deeply, "You're still not invisible, Hinata because I'll always love you." I placed two flowers upon Hyuuga Hinata's headstone. She died last month. A few weeks after she finally confessed her love to me, she died of something I could not protect her from. A plague that had cursed the village we visited took my hime's life. I haven't been able to take my eyes off this headstone, but I'll never forget her smile, the feeling I had when I saw her happy. Her image is still so vivid. I can only hope she's still happy, even if she's not with me.
The girl I saw work hard, "You worked so hard to fight that illness to stay with me, didn't you? You cared about me. I didn't want you to leave either, but I said once 'don't allow yourself to be pushed to tears, blood or pain' not even for my sake. Your love is all I ever wanted from you. Your love is all I ever needed, Hinata."
I could feel her in my arms. I could hear her voice. I could see her in my mind. I could love her and would love her - forever. She'd always be there with me, "No more pain, Hinata. No more."
hmfan: I remember a boy. Nothing I said ever came out right. I waited for the best chance to tell him how much I'd suffer if he ever were to struggle and how much I'd care if he ever were to leave. I was a writer then and couldn't even write it down. I couldn't tell him no matter how many words I used. My anticipation was punished by the days that went by so quickly. My feelings only grew as we grew apart. I messed up so many times, and hurt him ten times that amount. Of all the poems I wrote, all the confidence I built up for him, all my pride wasted to see him turn his back to me and leave forever. However the connection, I still feel, makes me wonder if we're meant for each other somehow. I say to myself, with the hope I have left, "Maybe in another life..."
