Hello All
Okay, I will take a moment to explain this odd plot of mine. This story is halfway in the past and halfway in the present. Tony POV chapters are retreating in time from the wedding go back. He will be remembering the happy times they had as a couple. Pepper POV chapters are moving forward, dealing with their relationship as it is now, with her being married to Nate and Tony being a recluse. Got it, lets get on with it then.
Pepper
The steady dripping of a leaky faucet is therapeutic. The constant annoying drip dripping which grits on the ears, stealing any chance of focus and tranquillity is now a welcomed comfort. It enables me to refocus all my negative thoughts to the inanimate object and not my troubled marriage or hapless former lover, no boss, not lover. My hapless former boss who almost became my lover again, I flinch at the memory of that night. The drip dripping of water in the white basin is no longer a barrier against the wave of anger and guilt over that evening at the Stark Mansion.
I calmly file away mental memo to call a plumber. This is a slight punishment to me for last week, one of a long and ever growing list of subtle punishments for that night.
I sit on the cold bathroom floor staring at my toes for the last thirty minutes. My toe nails are currently an electric blue colour. The colour is horribly loud and coordinates with none of my clothing but I felt so rebellious when I applied it this morning. The nail polish is a small acknowledgement to a long forgotten version of me who fancied a boy with a bike and too many tattoos. A boy I dated as a rebellious teen just to see how my parents will react to the wannabe biker boy. I grew tired of him before my parents could work up the courage to dislike biker boy. But I did love the look of leather on me and ensured my wardrobe contained a few leather jackets and some boots for my more defiant days.
Tony discovered my leather fetish one cold and gloomy day in London; let's say we spent the rest of the trip locked in our apartments overlooking the chaos of Piccadilly Circus. Tony's credit cards a few thousand pounds lighter after a trip to a private boutique. I flinch at another painful memory of us, not because it makes me sad, I wish thinking about him made me sad. Thinking about Tony gives me butterflies; a small smile sneaks up on the corner of my mouth trying to force its presence on my serious guilt trip. I grab the nail polish remover, another small punishment coming right up I think sarcastically.
While dragging the white cotton balls filled with the chilly solution across my toe nails. A soft taping on the door shakes me out of my musings.
"Hey babe have you seen my red scarf" Nate asks quietly, he knows I have been in here too long. I smile softly at his attempt to indirectly get me out of my hiding place. Looking for the scarf is just an excuse to disturb my solace. Another delayed confrontation.
I wiggle my now nail polish free toes then I drag myself off the floor moving to the white face basin. I turn on the faucet letting the water pass over my finger then washing my face off in the sink. I look at my face in the mirror; I have been avoiding Nate since that night I went to see Tony at the manor. I know he does not suspect anything untoward going on between me and Tony and because of his undying trust I feel even guiltier.
"Yeah I put it in the dryer" I say, shocked by the roughness of my voice.
"Oh...uh okay I will just go get it then" Nate says in a meek voice, I hear him take a breath as though he wanted to ask another question but didn't. I listen as his footsteps fade down the hallway.
I dry my face on an embroider towel near the door. I take one last look at myself in the mirror and open the door to face the world and my husband.
In the corner of our spotless bedroom are two large suitcases, a matching his and her pair from one of his distant relatives. A white envelope tucked inside wishing the newlyweds many adventures with these bags. A thoughtful gift from one of his happily married grandparents, but the letter feels more accusatory than comforting. Another brand on my conscience about what I did that night. Well almost did, we came so close to opening a door I thought had been long shut by years of neglect, hate and anger.
We are going to his parents' home in the heart of Redwoods. A relaxing mini vacation was his suggestion to cure my tension. But I am going because I want to make this work. It is not fair to him, so I will make our marriage work.
I stand there staring at nothing in particular. It will be so easy to pick a fight now. The silence between us is growing, shaping into something horrible and ugly. We are tittering on the edge of something. Nate is avoiding a fight and I am looking for one. I drop my body on the soft bed, shutting my eyes. I take deep breaths.
"I stopped myself" I mutter over and over again. Yes I stopped myself.
I stopped myself before he could suck that spot just below my left ear
I stopped myself before he could pull my top over my breasts
I stopped myself before he could bury his face in my smooth stomach, leaving a trail of wet kisses from my belly button to my breasts
I stopped myself before he suck on my nipples as I tugged his hair
I stopped myself before he pushed me down on the cold floor
I stopped myself before he could push my skirt up
I stopped myself before he could bury his fingers in me
I stopped myself before I could beg for him to fuck me
I stopped myself…..
"Hey babe, are you ready for a road trip? Nate is leaning against the door. His smile is cautious and lopsided. I appeciate his boyish charm and remember my promise to make things work.
"Yeah, let's go"
