Yay~! It's party time! –looks around- Wait, what do you mean this isn't Ulquiorra's birthday party? Oh damn, I suppose it isn't. –discards Batman costume-
Please enjoy this [on time] chapter~!
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Nor Batman.
Dear Diary
By Kouzumi93
Chapter Eight: October 15, 16, 17
(October Fifteenth)
Dear Diary,
Rangiku-san and I went back to the hospital this morning, but nothing had changed as far as Hitsugaya-kun's condition. I wanted to stay with him for a while, but Rangiku-san said that it would make me more depressed (I didn't know I was, I guess), so we left rather early. Back at my house, I couldn't find the motivation to do anything, not even watch the movie that Rangiku-san put on. Before it was over, however, her grandmother called and asked her to return home to keep an eye on her cousins. Rangiku-san apologized for having to leave me alone so soon, but I promised her that I'd be fine.
Ten minutes after her departure, I picked up my phone and called Aizen-dono, asking him if he would take me to the hospital to visit a friend. He didn't ask any questions, merely said he would be right over. After I cradled the receiver, I changed my clothes, put on socks and shoes, then stood waiting inside my front door for him.
When his car finally pulled up, I burst out of my house and practically jumped into it, eager to get back to Hitsugaya-kun's side. As we drove, Aizen-dono asked how I was faring, what with Hitsugaya-kun in critical condition and all (it seems he heard about it on the news, as well). I told him how petrified I am of Hitsugaya-kun not making it, and even revealed my own personal feelings of guilt. Aizen-dono explained that how I feel is only to be expected, but that it's not really my fault at all. Hitsugaya-kun decided on his own to return home, and all I was doing was trying to encourage him to do the right thing, so there's nothing for me to feel guilty about.
By the time we arrived at the hospital, my spirits had been restored, and I asked the doctor who was caring for Hitsugaya-kun, Kurosaki Isshin, about my friend's parents. I discovered that their funeral will be this Tuesday, the seventeenth. I also found out that none of Hitsugaya-kun's relatives have been contacted as of yet, so it's starting to look like he might end up getting placed in a foster home unless something else can be arranged.
If only he could live with me for a while, maybe I wouldn't be worrying about this so much. But there's no way they would allow that, seeing as there is no blood relation connecting us. Of course, all of this is assuming that Hitsugaya-kun lives.
No, I can't allow myself to continue thinking like this. Hitsugaya-kun will survive, because he's strong enough to pull through. He's not so weak as to let some injury, despite its seriousness, off him so easily, so I need to calm down. He'll be fine; I'm sure of it.
~Hinamori Momo
(October Sixteenth)
Dear Diary,
I went back to school this morning, but it really was just for the morning, and not all of it either. I couldn't stand all of the whispering and looks and expressions of sorrow and sympathy sent in my direction. Before fourth period, I was on my way home, my head spinning, feeling like it might quite literally explode. I've calmed down a bit since then, but I fear that such things in school are only going to escalate with time.
Rangiku-san brought my homework to me after school and stayed with me for an hour, then had to leave again. For the second day in a row, I called Aizen-dono and asked him to take me back to the hospital, where I decided that I will attend the funeral for Hitsugaya-kun's parents tomorrow. But since I can't exactly go alone (It's out of town and I can't drive yet), I asked Aizen-dono to go with me. Once I got home, I called and asked Rangiku-san as well. Both have agreed, so it appears as if I will be missing yet another day of school for a funeral.
But the person I depended on for support at the last one won't even be conscious this time around. But I suppose Rangiku-san and Aizen-dono will be plenty enough tomorrow, especially since I never really met either of Hitsugaya-kun's parents. And at the same time, I should just be grateful that he's not going to be among the bodies lowered into the earth.
...These days are becoming terribly stressful for me lately. I'm not sure how much more I can take of this. If Hitsugaya-kun doesn't wake up soon...I don't know what I'm going to do.
~Hinamori Momo
(October Seventeenth)
Dear Diary,
Today was the funeral for Hitsugaya-kun's parents. Including myself, there was only about twenty people in attendance. Rangiku-san and Aizen-dono were there, as well as someone named Ichimaru Gin, whom Aizen-dono brought with him. I guess they're related or something, but I don't see how, since they look absolutely nothing alike. Actually, Ichimaru-san really creeps me out, but Rangiku-san seemed quite taken with him.
The first ceremony lasted only about forty five minutes, and then Hitsugaya-kun's parents were cremated instead of buried, their ashes taken to the family plot just outside of Rukongai, where the funeral was being held. Another ceremony was performed at the plot, during which I took notice to the most recent name to be added.
Hitsugaya Natsume.
I kept my head bowed for the rest of the time we were there, and my solemn expression has remained with me for the rest of the night, even now, even as I sat by Hitsugaya-kun's bed again. I may know the pain of losing a parent, and I may know what it's like to never have my father around, but I am far from experienced when it comes to the loss of one's own entire family. When Hitsugaya-kun wakes up, I can't even begin to fathom what he's going to be going through.
He must have been so petrified to find his parents in such a state. I certainly was, and I didn't even really know them that much at all. For him to have found them...And having seen his sister die right in front of him years ago, too!
Thinking about it now, I wouldn't be terribly surprised if he doesn't wake up after all. With everything that has happened to him thus far, what's stopping it from getting even worse? But, what does he even have left to lose? He's lost his whole family now, and they still can't find any living relatives of his, so really, unless Rangiku-san and I happen to be included, he has nothing more that can be taken.
Here I go again. I have to have faith that Hitsugaya-kun will wake up, and that he'll find reason enough to want to stay alive and to continue on. A raison d'être (1), if you will.
Perhaps me?
~Hinamori Momo
1 – Raison d'être – reason to live, if I'm not mistaken. (The creepy part about this is that as soon as I wrote this down, I realized that the opening for the Claymore anime was playing on my laptop. (Song is Raison D'être by Nightmare.))
So there you have it, people. I'm sorry to say that the next chapter will not be posted until 20 December, unless I manage to finish chapter nine of Hitsugaya's story before the tenth. Which is not likely (I'm still on the first page, albeit the bottom).
I'll spoil you all and tell you that he wakes up. But really, that should be obvious.
Please review~!
