For the next two days, I cried, worried about where Jacob was, and pretended I was sick to Charlie. I think Charlie thought I was going through that depression mode again, which I sort of was. He should check in on me every couple hours, ask if I wanted anything, and I would always tell him to call Jacob, but every time Charlie said that Billy said he was out with his friends. Same old, same old.
It was Sunday before Billy said that Jake would be over later. He showed up while I was asleep, when he came in bed with me and put his very warm arm around my waist, I tensed up, not knowing who exactly it was (except for the warmth). He made small circles on my stomach, and it hurt when he touched the scars. I started to cry and he pulled me closer, which hurt worse. I pushed away from him and ran to the other side of the room, rolling up in a ball in the corner, and rocked back and forth.
"Bella, what's wrong?" he whispered coming over to me, trying to wipe away my tears.
I smacked his hand away from my face, "I thought you were dead," I spat.
"Bella, sweetie, please tell me what's wrong," Jacob tried to ask again.
"You. You left me all along for 2 ½ days," I yelled back.
"I'm sorry, but -"
"Do NOT but me," I interrupted.
"Will you let me explain." He was getting frustrated now. "They came back, we had to keep watch, protect our ground and the people."
"Oh, yeah, you did a really good job at that," I mocked. "He broke in." I was shaking uncontrollably remembering what happened. He pulled me into his lap, and this time I let him hold me together. "He…he…he almost killed me," I cried into his heated chest. Jacob never said anything after that, just held me close, rocking back and forth. I fell asleep sometime after that.
I woke up in my bed with Jacob snoring softly behind me. I moved out of bed quietly and into the bathroom to take a shower, since I hadn't for three days now. The soap and water hurt my scars a little at first, but it soon went away. I towel dried and combed through my hair. I forgot clothes and went back into my room to get some with a towel around my chest.
Jacob was awake when I walked in. He didn't say anything, just watched me, my scars, letting everything sink in. As I walked back into the bathroom, Jacob just stared at me helplessly, not knowing what he should do.
I reached the bathroom, shut the door, and dropped the towel. I stared at myself, my scars, my broken arm, everything.
The scars were red and looked deep, and were all over my breasts, and stomach. I must have been in there for a long time, because somebody knocked on the bathroom door. "Bella?" Jake asked, questioningly.
"Hold on," I tried to yell back. I tried to pull my clothes on quickly.
"Are you ok? You've been in there for quiet a while now." He cracked the door open an inch and peeked in. I was pulling my shirt over my stomach. His face dropped as he looked at the scars, his eyes searching mine for answers from an unspoken question.
"I'm fine," I said quickly trying to make him feel better about not being with me then. I walked over to him pushing the door open a little more and tried to kiss him on the cheek, to be reassuring. He turned his head and met his lips to my own, his hand on the small of my back holding me there a second longer. I opened my eyes and looked at him through my eyelashes, blushing and smiling slightly.
"I love you," he whispered, staring back at me. My smile faded slowly and he just stared at me, hopeful. "Did I just say that out loud?" He tried to fake, pretending he didn't. He looked embarrassed and ran down the stairs to make breakfast. I sighed and came out of the bathroom, watching him disappear around the corner.
I threw my stuff in my room and heard Jake cracking eggs downstairs, knowing I'd have to go to the store sooner or later. I walked down the stairs slowly making sure I didn't fall. being really quite, I tried to sneak up on Jacob. I knew he could hear me, all of his attention intently on the pan. I wrapped my arms around his waist and whispered, "I love you, too," into his back, grabbing the plates from beside him and setting the table. "Why were you so embarrassed for telling me you loved me?" I questioned not being able to stand the silence around Jacob, only Charlie.
"Because I do love you, but I don't want to sound stalkerish. I just want you to know." He rushed out quickly. "Just you are the only one left in my life to love more than my brothers. Your all I have and I don't think I'd be able to live if you ran back to him after this." He was starting to get frustrated now as he walk towards me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. I hit his chest like a brick wall. His hand tilted my face up towards his, he kissed me hard. His lips were rough on mine attacking them. He pulled me closer and everything reminded me of that night.
I pushed off him and ran into the corner, screaming and rolling into a ball "Bella." He whispered quietly walking over slowly, watching my face change with each step. It began to fade into a more relaxed happiness. Eyebrows down, eyes shut, slight smirk on my mouth, tears stopping, and slowly unraveling from a ball. "Bella…I'm sorry…I didn't mean to …I need to know what I did so I don't do it again. Please tell me," he begged.
"It just reminded me of that night." I said slowly, my eyes still shut, my breathing more eve. His hand came up to my face, his thumb wiping away the last remainng tear.
"Shh," he whistled softly in my ear.
"I'm ok, I'm ok," I whispered back, trying to stand up.
"Here," he said giving me a hand to help me up.
"Thanks," I said shyly. Jake pulled me into a hug and held me tight, making little circles on my back. I laid my head on his chest and closed my eyes. This moment was perfect and I just wanted it to stay like this for the rest of my life. Uncomplicated, easy. Jake sighed a long, heavy sigh.
"What?" I asked.
"I need to go, but I don't want to," he said like he didn't want to. "I want to get moved in today, so I'm not so pressured later on."
"Can I help?" I asked hopefully, not wanting to be left alone anymore.
"If you want, it'll be a long car ride though and Sam and Embry are tagging along to help. If you don't care and I'd be happy if you there." He leaned back and kissed my forehead. "Let's go then!" He shouted with lots of enthusiasm. I was flying through the air all of a sudden, over his hsoulder. He charged outside and packed me into the passenger seat of his Volkswagen Rabbit, and jogged around to the other side, still breathing evenly.
"What about Charlie?" I asked before we pulled out of the drive.
"Already handled. I wrote him a note while you were showering, hoping you'd come with." He said with a proud smirk on his face.
"Thanks." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight and he squeezed back. I let my head fall back and I closed my eyes, slowly drifting to sleep, with his thumb making circles on the back of my hand.
I felt soft lips press against my skin by my ear. My eyes fluttered open.
"Shh," he whispered, "we're here." I looked towards his voice, he was crouched over me, picking me up into his arms. He shut the door with his foot and took me inside.
"Put me down," I slurred out, trying to hit him.
"No, shh, you sleep," he ordered placing me on some bed, probably his dorm's drifting back to sleep.
"Bells," Jacob asked, "are you hungry?" He brushed my hair out of my face softly, picking me up.
"Yeah," I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and yawning. "I can walk." I said more clearly, trying to untangle myself from him. He stopped and put me on my own two feet. He kept his arms around my waist though and intertwined our fingers as we headed into the cafeteria. I stopped dead. There were hundreds of students walking around, eating, and talking. A couple of people looked at us, mainly Jacob's size. They would turn and whisper quickly to their friends, then both would look back. I blushed and looked up at Jake. He was looking at me too, and kissed me reassuringly. We started walking over to the line as eyes looked away, answering their question. He grabbed 2 apples, pb&j's , and Pepsi's, paying for it all before I could even reach into my pocket. "Why don't you ever let me pay?" I asked as we headed towards Sam and Embry.
"Because I'm your boyfriend and I'm entitled to be nice sometimes. Only sometimes. So you might if you ever take me out, which I doubt, but that's about it." He chuckled, "Some of these girls are such sluts." He sat down and I sat next to him.
"Jake," I said hitting him playfully. "Why do you say that?"
"Because. They're all hangy, hangy on their boyfriends, but their thoughts are trying to figure out what I look like with my shirt off and… eww… how big my package is. Gross."
"Well I care if you weighed 400 pounds, I'd still love you so there, "I proved kissing him on the cheek.
"I know and I love you too." He said returning the kiss.
I ate my apple and drank the pepsi , while Jake ate both the sandwiches, his apple, and drank the pepsi, talking about what his routes will be now.
He was to run Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays and I have classes on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. So basically we will see each other Sundays and holidays. "This sucks," I whispered a tear rolling down my cheek.
"What?" He asked wiping my tears away with his thumbs.
"With your schedule, we will only get to see each other on Sundays." I choked out.
"Shh," He whispered, "I'll come visit after my rounds on Saturdays too."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise," he chuckled, smiling, and kissing the end of my nose.
"No sexual/physical content on school grounds!" A voice called from behind us. We turned our heads sharply towards the voice. There stood a white male, about 5-9ish wearing a suit and tie, looking very professional. He stood very straight and still with no smile and for a moment I swore it was Carlisle. Jacob stood quickly.
"Sorry sir," he spoke, extending his hand towards who I guessed was the principle. "It won't happen again." The principle shook his hand.
"I'll count on that," he replied, turning on his heel and walking away.
"Can we leave please?" I begged, exhausted.
"Yeah, because I don't think I can go too long with out touching you," he told me in a whisper. "Embry, Sam you ready to go?"
"Yeah," they said in unison, jumping up.
We got off campus quickly and not talking. Jake kept reaching our towards me and stopped mid-air, then shoving them back in his pockets.
"Race you to the car." I challenged about to go insane.
"Go!" he screamed taking off.
"Not fair," I yelled after him. Embry and Sam just started laughing. Jake beat me there obliviously. "You're a cheater," I said jumping into his arms. He spun me around before setting me on the ground. His fingers lightly grabbed my chin, pointing my face towards his. Standing on my tiptoes, I pulled his face towards min, embracing his lips with my own. He attacked my mouth and I attacked back.
"Get a room you two." Embry muttered and I hoped Jake didn't take that literally
"Maybe we will," he joked, kissing me quickly. He opened my door then walked around to his side, getting in.
The ride home flew by, especially once they started bantering Jake on getting married and carp. It kinda made me nervous at first, but it soon faded at their stupid comments to Embry about not even having a girlfriend. Jake glanced at me nervously, too, a few times. I just squeezed his hand and smiled like everything was going to be okay. Before I knew it we were pulling into my driveway.
"Don't worry about us Jake," Sam said getting out, too. "Embry and I are going for a run. See you tomorrow."
"Okay," he said back, walking to the door with me. "I'll come back later, after Charlie's asleep if you want me to."
"Yeah, but can you come in now, too?" I asked wondering where he was going to go for the next two hours.
"No, I should probably go run with the guys for a while, so I don't have quiet so much to make up over the summer. I'll be here the second Charlie starts to snore though," he assured me.
"Okay, but right when he starts not a second longer." I ordered like Charlie.
"I'm so sorry, but seeing you mad is so sexy." He whispered leaning down and kissing me lightly. "I'll be back later," he said disappearing.
I stared off into the vast space, not being able to tell which way Jake went, I walked back inside.
"Bella?"
"Yeah, its me," I yelled walking into the living room, and plopping on the couch.
"Did you have fun with Jake today?" He asked slowing down. "Where is he anyway?"
"He went home to finish packing. He forgot some stuff."
"Oh, I wonder what's going to happen to the house."
"I think he's going to live init still on breaks and weekends, and stuff."
"Oh, yeah."
"I think I'm going to go to bed. I'm really tired," I said walking upstairs.
"Ok, see you tomorrow," he called after me.
When I walked into my room, I didn't even look to see if Jake was there yet or not, I just grabbed my bag and went to take a shower, which lasted a whole 2 seconds, because the hot water was all gone.
"Hot Water heaters broken," I yelled downstairs, walking to my room.
"Okay." I heard him scream back, right before I closed my door.
I threw my stuff in my closet, before collapsing on my bed and onto something warm. "And hello to you too," he complained, grabbing my hips and flipping me over.
"Hi," I said, hiding my face in his neck.
"That's better." he chuckled, kissing my hair and rubbing my back peacefully.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, just impatient, usually Charlie's asleep by now." He replied, scooting back further on the bed, and tucking me under the covers. "Sleep, he's coming," Jake whispered before slipping into the closet.
The door cracked open and Charlie slid in. "Bella? You asleep?"
"Ugh." My usual answer.
"Can I talk to you?"
"Ugh."
"Its just you and Jake seem to be pretty serious already and its only been a couple days since"-wince- "anyways if you do decide to do anything to make sure you use protection okay? I really don't want you pregnant."
"Ugh," I emphasized.
"O.k. good-night. Just remember," he said as he left.
"That was interesting," Jake said, sliding underneath the covers behind me. "Ugh? Even I could've come up with something better then that."
"You're not the one having to sit through the sex talk with your dad though. Are you?" I said maybe a little too loud. "Oops, sorry." I flipped over to meet his saddened face. "I'm sorry Jake," I said instantly hugging him, "I shouldn't have said anything."
He slid his arms around my waist and hugged me back. And I think for the first time in a long time, he cried and cried, finally crying both him and I asleep, still holding each other tight.
