Spock ran up the steps of his desert home. Slamming the door and running into his room, he collapsed on his bed face down, his angry breathing muffled by the sheets.
Amanda had heard the commotion from the kitchen and rising slowly from her chair, knocked quietly on the door of her half Vulcan son.
"Hey, Spock. You ok?"
No answer. This wasn't a good sign. Opening the door slowly, she took in Spock's form on his bed, still in his school clothes. In his flight, he had dropped his bag and papers spilled across the floor.
She decided to ignore him. That was normally the best method with him. Picking up the spilled papers, she stacked them neatly on his desk all the while looking for a sign of response. His breathing had slowed. That was good. He tended to get himself worked up over the littlest things. Most of which were in defense of her. Amanda gave a sad smile, her poor little boy. Sitting on the edge of his bed, she tentatively reached out a hand to rub his back. He didn't flinch away and she instantly felt relieved. Spock had become more and more hesitant when it came to physical contact but inside he still needed his mother's touch.
Rubbing slowly, she felt him relax and go limp.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
That was the wrong thing to say, he stiffened instantly and Amanda felt a flash of bitterness through their touch. Sighing, she let her hand drop. He was going to play Vulcan now.
He was quiet for a few minutes before sitting up, still not making eye contact. His face was flushed slightly, whether from being nearly smothered by the sheets or emotion, she couldn't tell.
"I do not care for my school companions." His voice was tight with suppressed feeling. "Nor do they care for me. As we have come to this mutual understanding, I do not see why they continue to taunt me."
Amanda was silent. Bullying from the other children was nothing new. Spock had come home with bruises and stories of fights countless times before. She felt responsible for it. Spock was hard to anger. Very few things caused him to react. But when it came to her, he was quick to respond. Occasionally in ways that ended in violence.
"What did they say?" her voice was quiet.
Spock turned to face her and she caught the beginning of a bruise swelling on his cheek. "They called me an outsider. An insult to the Vulcan name." He paused and Amanda waited for the rest of it. Conflicts on heritage were something he tolerated better than insults to his mother.
"And they said," Spock's voice tightened again, "That you were nothing more than an illogical human who doesn't deserve to have a Vulcan as a husband."
Amanda nodded. That would have done it. She could clearly see Spock jumping in quickly at such a thing. She sighed as the guilt swept over her.
Spock was watching her carefully from the corners of his eyes. He was trying to gauge her emotions. She could see that. The slight frown of concentration was evident on his face as he tried to read her without actually appearing to do so.
"Come here," she motioned and reached out, grabbing his small hand and pulling him closer. He resented at first, but finally consented, leaning his head against her chest.
"Are you…. Angry with me?" His voice was subdued, hesitant.
"No," she hugged him tighter, "I'm not. You did what you felt was right."
She felt him relax as he opened up to her and she was finally able to feel his emotions. He was still scared, probably thinking of what would happen when his father came home. But there was a relief in it too. Knowing that he was safe from harm for the moment and openly embraced by a loved one. Amanda smiled as she caught a bit of pride mixed in. Spock was still proud of his mother, despite what the other children might say. That's what Amanda wanted him to feel, that his home was a haven where he was safe from conflicting sides and bruised feelings. Where he had a proud mother that didn't care that he was a child of two worlds. Where he would have a clear opinion on which side to embrace.
Where he could be himself.
