Just as you are

By ArokuRaita

Disclaimer: 'Haikyuu!' belongs to Haruichi Furudate and this fanfic was written nonprofit.


8. At peace

Oikawa gulped. His kouhai's eyes were huge as the sadness they expressed. His tears fell down his cheeks, while he stuttered what had happened in Karasuno. Wow, I didn't expect sweet Tobio-chan to have more problems on his team than at Kitagawa Daiichi, the older one thought.

Without thinking, he hugged the brun boy. Suddenly, he felt a great affection for his old schoolmate. The young man kept crying and instinctively returned the hug. Oikawa closed his eyes, sighing. He really liked him...

The third-year setter raised his hands and stroked Kageyama's hair and cheeks, which calmed him down a bit. Then, Tooru moved back to look at him.

"Wait, I need a kleenex..."

Silently, Tooru pulled one out of his pocket with one hand, while the other still caressed his kouhai's black hair. Oikawa's brown eyes had an apparently calm expression.

"T-Thank you... Don't you want to sit and read... eh, some magazines?" Kageyama said, after wiping his nose and tears.

"As you wish, Tobio"

Both of them sat on the sofa in the living room. The brun boy took some magazines from the coffee table and handed them to his visitor, who picked them up so that his hands brushed Kageyama's. The youngest one felt a chill: They aren't the hands of the dream... Instead of being warm, they burn.

Tobio's hands were cold and a little rough. Oikawa thought they would be softer, but it seemed that his body wasn't in accordance with his current personality. He looked at the boy, who was talking to him about something he didn't hear well: volleyball players? Volleyball matches in Japan? American volleyball? He noticed Tobio's lips, so thin and expressive, even when they didn't make his famous pout. Would they be soft?

Suddenly, Kageyama got up.

"I must heat the curry! I'll be right ba..."

A hand grasped his forearm tightly and held him close to the sofa. It was so hot that Kageyama thought it would leave skin burns.

"Tooru, is something wrong?"

Without warning, the eldest attracted him forcibly. Tobio fell over his senpai's legs and tried to move, but it was impossible. Oikawa had embraced him again, this time with much more strength. He could feel the third year's warm breath on his nape and his lips tracing the curve of his neck, his Adam's apple, his throat, his chin...

"No, Oikawa-san, wait a bit..."

Tooru's lips brushed his.

They're soft, Oikawa told to himself. His eyes were closed. Through his skin, he could sense that Tobio was completely red. With his tongue tip, he began to caress his kouhai's lips, who held them tightly shut.

"Tobio, relax. I won't hurt you... ", Oikawa whispered.

"No, senpai, stop..."

He regretted having opened his mouth. Tooru's tongue had already entered and caressed his. He tried to move away, unsuccessfully.

"Why do you fight, Tobio..." It wasn't a question, but a sigh. He kissed the brun boy's cheek and found that it was wet. Startled, he opened his eyes.

Tobio had cried a little, but didn't seem to notice.

"Why didn't you stop, Oikawa-san? I didn't like what you were doing!"

The older one let him go of his embrace and Kageyama ran way to other end of the sofa. Oikawa looked at his own pants: they were tense in the crotch. Then he turned his gaze to his kouhai's jogging pants: there was no sign that anything had happened under them. Finally, he glanced at Tobio's face and immediately looked away, embarrassed.

Oh shit.


Farewell was very uncomfortable. Oikawa apologized a thousand times, even prostrated himself -to his kouhai's horror- and finally, he left. The house felt cooler from that moment. Kageyama was at the entrance, in the dark. He touched his neck, the forearm that his senpai had held tightly, his lips and hair. He felt fear and a little disgusted. He shouldn't have been so permissive, but hey, he was his senpai, whom he had admired and feared so much... Would he have dared to hit the older one? That very idea made him shiver. Oikawa-san had behaved very strangely.

Kageyama prepared the bathroom, washed himself and then dipped in the tub. His parents weren't there: dad had a work trip and mom had gone to visit her family. He'd be alone until the middle of the week. He was used to it, but would have liked someone's company, some friend...

Did he have any?

After drying himself, he put on his pajamas and went to bed. Before going to sleep, he remembered Hinata. The red haired boy image helped him fall asleep.


"Suga, I need to talk to you" said Daichi's voice on the phone. He sounded very serious. The gray-haired young man gulped, nervous.

"Must it be today? It's Sunday..."

"I promise it won't take much time"

"Okay, let's get together in half an hour in the park"

Koushi took a deep breath and exhaled. Well, I knew that this moment was going to come, he thought. Once in the park, he saw that Daichi approached him with a serious face, but not angry, which was a great relief.

They both felt uncomfortable greeting each other and walked in silence for a few minutes. Daichi cleared his throat.

"Kageyama told me what you and Tsukishima told him on Friday. I understand Tsukishima, because he has that kind of personality -although I'll scold him tomorrow-, but you, Suga? Why?"

After a pause, the young man replied:

"I think it's true that Kageyama no longer imposes as before and that it would be much better for him (and us) to pretend a more aggressive attitude. That can also strengthen the other team players' attitude"

Sawamura looked at him for a moment and then smiled.

"You know, you're probably right, but I don't notice you very convinced about that. Or are you jealous that Kageyama rivals your sweetness?"

When Daichi was suggesting that he could be jealous of Kageyama, Sugawara couldn't help but wince in disgust. His friend laughed.

"That was! You're jealous! But come on, there's no comparison between both of you, because..."

What did 'no comparison between both of you' mean? Koushi flushed with rage. He could stand many things; except that the man he admired -and loved- the most in his team compared him to a boy who didn't even exist (because Kageyama couldn't live eternally with a fake personality, right?). And, on top, he said it laughing! Furious, he stopped and confronted his friend.

"Daichi, I don't like to be compared with other people. But, to be honest, it bothers me much more that you are the one who does it, because... Well, we've been friends throughout high school, I've learned to know you, respect you and love you as a great friend... Even more ... Ah, damn! I like you, Daichi! That's why it hurts me to be compared by you! And it hurt me that you had hugged Kageyama!

He turned and walked without looking back. Hell, he had said everything in a fit of rage. What would Sawamura say? Then, a firm hand rested on his shoulder. He couldn't look at that hand's owner, but stopped.

"You didn't let me finish. I said that 'there is no comparison between both of two' because, although Kageyama is so kind now, he'll never surpass you".

Koushi looked at him, his cheeks burning.

"Suga... Did you really get jealous for me?" the captain of Karasuno asked. His friend looked away, embarrassed, and didn't reply.

Sawamura held him in his arms.

"If only you had told me before! I hugged Tobio because, at that moment, he seemed helpless, but my true feelings are for you, Koushi. I like you very much and that won't change"

The gray-haired young man hid his face in his hands. Although his expression couldn't be seen, it was easy to guess that he was crying.

"I'm so sorry, Daichi! I behaved like an idiot. I didn't want to hurt Kageyama, but I got carried away by my jel... rage. I'm sorry about what I did. Tomorrow I'll formally ask him for forgiveness" the third year setter sobbed. Daichi kissed him on the cheek. Then, they walked in silence, but smiling.


Tooru was lying on his bed. TV was on, but the young man wasn't paying attention. Guilt didn't allow him to move or leave his apathic state. Also, he didn't expect that kind of reaction! Tobio-chan should have been flattered!

I'm going to teach him my serve as compensation, he told to himself. A few moments later, he received a call from Iwa-chan, which encouraged him a bit. When he hung up, he totally dismissed his previous idea: he didn't have to be so extreme either. It had only been a mistake, right?

When Hajime arrived, Oikawa noticed something different in his friend. Apparently, he had something to tell him. Volleyball news? Team news? A girlfriend? Ha! I'd like to see that, he laughed internally, but then became serious. Did he really want to see it?

He shook his head and looked at Hajime, who was zapping on TV while commenting what he had done the previous day. They had always been together and he was one of the few people who endured his way of being, apart from his family. Sometimes, Tooru wondered what would he do without Iwa-chan, but rarely dared to think about what would Iwa-chan do without him. He'd smile more, I suppose, was the conclusion he used to reach.

"Well, Iwa-chan, what was it you had to tell me?"

"Oh, that... It'll sound ridiculous, but I think I like Kageyama. I always thought he was a nice guy in Kitagawa Daiichi's early years and now it seems he is even more so, don't you think?"

Oikawa stared at him. Was he serious? On one side, he was horrified by the idea of having Iwaizumi as a rival for Tobio's heart (What am I thinking, I lost, he told to himself) and, on the other, Tobio was driving his best friend away from him, even unwittingly...

"Yeah, that's very nice. Treat him well, will you?"

He avoided Hajime's eyes as much as he could. But he got up and grabbed Oikawa by the collar of his shirt.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean that I made a big mistake and that the way's open for you, Iwa-chan" he answered.

"A mistake? Don't tell me that you..."

Oikawa didn't dare to look at his best friend.

"I kissed him against his will and he got very upset with me. I didn't think he would reject me so violently... Oh, I didn't even know I liked him so much! But don't worry; I won't stand between you and him. I swear..."

Iwaizumi's hands still held him. Suddenly, they began to tremble. When Tooru looked up, he saw that Iwaizumi was crying.


I can't believe it. This idiot really fell in love with him, Iwaizumi thought, hurt. He knew he had tears in his eyes, but it didn't matter. Damn, his heart was shattered! What did a few tears matter?

"Iwa-chan, I really regret what I did. If I had known about your feelings for Tobio, I wouldn't have got near him!"

"Who cares about Kageyama? I'm talking about you! Are you really in love with him?"

Tooru looked at him, surprised.

"I don't understand. You said you were feeling attracted to Tobio, why now you say he doesn't matter?"

Iwaizumi inspired and exclaimed:

"Because I was jealous and wanted you to feel upset! I know it was immature of me, but I wanted you to stop being so close to him because... Hell, I've always liked you, Oikawa!"

Silence fell. There was nothing more to add.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that now" Hajime murmured, releasing Tooru. The latter didn't move. He also didn't move when his best friend took his things and went home.

He couldn't. What the hell had happened?


Monday came with new opportunities for some people and new challenges for other. All students went to their classes. However, at the Karasuno volleyball club there was one absent.

"He doesn't answer his cellphone... Would it be a good idea if we go to see him?" Yamaguchi asked. Beside him were Asahi and Kiyoko, who shook their heads. If Kageyama hadn't invited them to his house, it would be rude to present themselves out of the blue.

At a certain distance, Tanaka, Nishinoya and Tsukishima watched the Kageyama fanclub.

"They wanted to pay him a visit, but luckily they gave up" Tanaka muttered.

"I wouldn't be surprised if everyone went to visit him on his own" the blonde replied.

"Then, do we ambush them or what?"

"I don't intend to do anything other than practice. What matters most to me is that my movements are perfect" Nishinoya exclaimed. From afar, Asahi watched him. He seemed guilty.

"Noya-san, you're amazing!" Tanaka was already moved.

Hinata had a hard time focusing on class. He looked at the captain and Suga-san. Both of them seemed much happier than last week, thank goodness. At one point, the third-year setter had approached him to ask about Kageyama's health and Hinata had been scared. However, after seeing a sincere concern in his eyes, he explained that he hadn't seen his friend during weekend, but that he would inform him of any news.

At the end of the class, Noya and Tanaka stayed practicing spikes and rebounds. Shyly, Asahi approached them.

"Can I join?"

"Ah, Asahi-san! Eh..." Tanaka looked at Nishinoya. The libero glared seriously at the third year ace.

"Of course! But only if you can follow our rhythm" the shorter one answered, with a half-smile that Asahi returned.


Tsukishima was sure that many would pay a visit to Kageyama, so he decided to go ahead to make fun of them. When he was going to take the street that would take him to the setter's house, a voice called him.

"Wait for me, Tsukki!"

Yamaguchi managed to catch up with his friend, who was watching him silently.

"Are you going to visit the King of the Court, Yamaguchi?"

"Huh? I was going to ask you the same question, Tsukki. Actually, I was thinking about going home, but when I noticed you were taking the road to Kageyama's house..."

"... You wanted to join and tell me 'Let's go together', right?

Tadashi blushed a little.

"I don't know... At first I was surprised and I thought that you finally accepted his way of being, but then... I didn't like it".

"Because it would be rude to go without being invited, right?"

"Oh, no, aside from that ..."

Kei was exasperated.

"What's the problem, then? Are you jealous or something?"

"YES I AM, TSUKKI! I mean, yes"

Now it was Tsukishima who became totally red.

"Don't talk nonsense. Well, do you want us to go to Kageyama's house or somewhere else?

"No, not to Kageyama's house... Would you like eating something and then going to my house? Or yours, as you want"

Tsukishima was surprised for the second time. Before, his friend would have left all decisions in his hands, but now he had been more assertive. It made him a little nervous, but it was also interesting. Yamaguchi had a lot to show.

"OK, let's go to my house, then" he said, turning around so that his friend didn't see his smile.


Hinata watched Tsukishima and Yamaguchi leaving. He followed them from further back and was relieved when he noticed that they weren't heading to his best friend's house. Will it be all right if I go, even if it's to lend him my class notes?, he asked himself. Therefore, he called Kageyama and consulted him. The brun boy said that there was no problem, but that he felt a bit ill.

When he arrived, he rang the doorbell and Tobio opened the door. He looked terrible: still in pajamas, red and watery eyes and nose, and his voice sounded nasal.

"Hi Hinata, you can leave your bike in the yard. How was volleyball class?"

The red haired boy smiled. Still sick, Kageyama only thought about his favorite sport. Wouldn't it be nice if he thought of me too?

"Very good, but it was only practice"

"I wish I could have been there"

The setter let Hinata in, and the latter was surprised at how big his friend's house was. Kageyama was heading to the kitchen to treat his guest, but Hinata stopped him. I'm a bit hungry, but he's got a cold and only wearing his pajamas! I can't let him feel sicker because of me, Shouyou thought, while pushing Tobio into his room.

"You should rest!"

"Huh? But I can heat you some food in a minute..."

"Don't worry! Let's go!"

Once in Tobio's room, Hinata felt calmer. He took out his notebook (with notes faithfully copied from Yachi's) and handed it to his friend, who immediately began to copy them with a smile. Shoyou looked at him for a few seconds. It was incredible that the King of the Court from Kitagawa Daiichi could be that sweet...

He had to hold back the impulse to touch his hand or shoulder. It would be too rude, right? Even a rose petals touch could be rough, so his fingers were out of question. The red haired middle blocker looked at his hands, unsure.

"Is there something wrong, Hinata?" Even Tobio's voice was soft. The young man gulped, uncomfortable.

"No, it's just that..."

The doorbell interrupted him, very timely. I almost said something terrible! Shoyou yelled to himself.

Kageyama got up and put on the team's jacket.

"Who could be at this hour? My parents are traveling and they haven't told me anything about visitors"

"Maybe it's better not to open. What if it's a thief...?"

"Thieves don't ring doorbells!" Tobio laughed.

From below, they heard a familiar voice.

"Kageyama, are you there? I'm Sugawara"

The brun boy peeked from his bedroom window and said he was coming down immediately. After he left, Hinata stood near the stairs. He didn't want to be seen and had doubts: Why had Suga bother to come to Kageyama's house? Would he want to hurt him or something? If something happens, I'll interrupt them, he thought.

"Sorry to bother you at this time and without calling you first. I just wanted to apologize for my attitude. I know I was wrong. Well... I was upset when I saw Sawamura hugging you... And I'm sorry I told you that you were a weak player. That was a lie"

Wow, Suga-san..., Shouyou told to himself. There was a pause. He heard his friend clearing his throat.

"Er... Thank you for telling me this, Sugawara-san. It really hurt me to be weak, but I'm glad to know that it's not like that. And I never wanted you to be jealous, I swear!"

"It's okay, Kageyama-kun", Koushi smiled. "I promise to do my best for your teammates to treat you better"

Kageyama thanked him several times and invited his senpai to come in, but he declined the invitation and said goodbye. Hinata heard the door close and went back to Tobio's room. When he entered the room, his friend was about to say something to change the subject, but Kageyama exclaimed:

"Suga-san came to apologize and said he'll try for the team to treat me better! This means they won't hate me anymore"

Hinata jumped up.

"Nobody hates you, Kageyama! They're just a little jealous, because you're... uh... well, you're great"

Tobio looked at him with bright eyes.

"Hinata, you're the only one who really supports me, I'm really glad you're by my side"

"Kageyama, i-if you want, you can tell me Shouyou" Hinata said, with red cheeks. His teammate also blushed.

"Oh... Well, S-Shouyou, you can tell me Tobio"

After a few moments, they dared to look each other in the eyes. At first, insecurely. As seconds passed, they began to smile shyly...

And then, the doorbell rang again.