You and I and Us

I read the letter again. Then I leaned back against my pillow and closed my eyes. A single droplet coursed its way down my cheek and fell silently onto the paper. I let out a shuddering breath. Why?

I opened my eyes again and glanced down at the letter.

He wrote it long ago, maybe he has gotten over it now? There was a reason he didn't send it to me right…?

My thoughts were muddled up. I folded the letter and put it back into the envelope. Maybe I could just forget about it.

No.

I remembered my promise to Emily. I told her I would speak to him about it after I read it. I couldn't ignore it. Besides, tonight when he was looking at me and singing, it actually felt as if he were…I don't know what!

I surely couldn't talk to him now. I could still here the music outside and it was turning into more of rock and roll types than before.

I sighed and decided to talk to him about it the next time I see him alone. So, I did the most cowardly thing I have ever done in my life.

I put the envelope in my jacket pocket, got ready for bed and went to sleep. But I couldn't sleep.

I felt the weight of the letter which was now close to my heart in the pocket of the jacket. The music was still on outside and I felt that the world was such a big place. No one seemed to miss me out there. No one came to check if I was in the tent and if I was alright or if I ran off in the woods and was eaten alive by the bears.

I lay awake for a long time with the covers pulled tightly up over my head to protect me from the cold.

I heard the Music die down before my tent flap opened and I heard the giggles of Rosalie and Alice as they stepped into the tent along with the "shh!" that Emily made in an attempt to keep them quiet.

"Oh, she's here? I thought she was out there with us…" Rosalie trailed off.

"I thought so too." Alice whispered quietly.

"She might have come back in after that song that she and Edward sang. She looked pretty tired and you know how fast she gets cold…" Emily trailed off.

Like i said, they didn't notice my absence.

I didn't move a muscle as I heard their footsteps as they got ready for bed. I lay awake for hours even after all the movement had ceased and I could hear soft snores from around me. I tossed and turned all night, not knowing what to do. Then finally somewhere around two in the night, I fell into a dreamy state where I was half awake and half asleep.

At 5 in the morning I gave up and got up moving around brushing my teeth and all. I popped my contacts back on as I knew I wouldn't be sleeping again and then left the tent to get some air and clear out my thoughts.

Then I saw him, standing there staring off into the midnight blue sky with his arms crossed over his chest. He looked as if he were deep in thought and I didn't feel like disturbing him. The moonlight made him look even more beautiful than he already was. It gave him a surreal touch. as if he would disappear if i so mush as blinked.

But then, I felt the weight of the envelope in my pocket, right near my heart. Suddenly it felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and without my consent my feet took me to him.

I stood beside him staring off ahead. He didn't look my way or even acknowledge my presence. I sighed.

My hands trembled slightly as I went to retrieve the letter. I took in a deep calming breath as I held it out before him.

He didn't seem to notice it, so I spoke, "This belongs to you." My voice shook slightly.

He finally turned to look at me and then he looked back at my hand stretched out in front of him with the envelope in my hand.

His face instantly paled of all colour. And now in the moonlight it looked white. His eyes widened and he took in a quick deep breath.

His head jerked back to my face as he pulled the envelope roughly out of my hands. I took a slight step backwards and I felt slightly terrified of him. He seemed to realize what he did and mumbled an apology to me before he looked back at the envelope.

He turned it over and saw that it was open. Something flashed in his eyes. It was so quick that I wasn't even sure what it was.

"How did you get this?" He questioned. His voice was really low and…velvety?

"Do you mean it? I mean…you did write it a while ago, so…" I avoided his question. He closed his eyes and then opened them to stare at me. His gaze was so strong that I couldn't look away even if I wanted to.

When he didn't answer I started to panic. I think he noticed because I felt his hand hold mine and entwine my fingers with his.

"Emily gave you this right?" I began shaking silently. I didn't want him to yell at her or be angry at her.

"N-no." I stuttered.

"Bella…" I closed my eyes waiting for him to say it was a joke so I should probably go back in and get some sleep. I chewed on my lip unconsciously as I braced myself for those words.

" It's true Bella. I did mean it. I still do." I felt his hand gently caress me as he freed my lip from the confines of my teeth.

"No you don't! This isn't supposed to happen! You-you're going away for college in a few months we won't ever see each other again! It's too late besides, I honestly have never thought about an 'us' I don't know Edward! This may not work out! What will everyone else at school say? And I don't think I should just say 'yes' because you asked me. I mean I am aware of the fact that you are considered the hottest guy at school but- I mean- what I want to say is that, I need time. I can't just agree or disagree without thinking over it, can I? And now maybe you can ask me to shut up because I'm rambling aren't I? I should probably just turn around and go back-"

"Bella! Whoa… slow down there girl. Whoever said you don't talk." He muttered the last part to himself.

I am positive I was as red as a fire engine.

" I'm not going to leave you when I go to college, Bella." I stared at him confused.

"But… you got into Dartmouth and Harvard right?"

Edward raised his eyebrow, "Who said I'm going to either? I'm going to UW. With you." He smiled softly at me.

Before I could process what he said, he continued on, "As you very well said, only a few more months now and then it all will be over. I don't care what the other students say. I'm not going to meet them again. Their opinions don't matter. Yours do. You can certainly take your time thinking over it but know that I want you in my life. Even if it's as a friend. I'll be waiting always. And I want to give you something to help you in 'figuring out' stuff."

With that he slowly lifted my hand up and kissed my knuckles softly then he raised his other hand and cupped my cheek, tilting my head to look up at him.

It was then that I realized how tall he really was. He was probably more than a foot taller than me. He bent down slightly and stared into my eyes. His green eyes were twinkling. I felt the heat of the first rays of the sun as it was rising. I closed my eyes as Edward's lips descended down onto mine.

It was warm. Soft, and good. He tasted good. His scent was enveloping me as he pressed his lips softly onto mine. I kissed him back and moved my lips against his. It was the best first kiss ever. I didn't know if I was doing it right or not but it felt really good. He was still holding one of my hands while my other one went up around his back and neck to entangle in his hair.

He had to break away to get some really required oxygen into his lungs. He rest his forehead against mine as he gasped for air. I opened my eyes to stare at him and I noticed that the sun had cast a red glow around us. Red, the colour of love.

He stepped away from me and smiled. "Was I your first kiss?" He asked with the ever present smile on his face. I blushed and nodded, "Was I that bad?" I asked.

"Not at all. I'm just glad that you were my first too." He said softly. Then he kissed me on my cheek as he started walking back towards his tent.

"See you around Swan!" He called out as he ducked into his tent.

It was only then that I realized that he had left the envelope in my hands.

He wants you to keep it.

I walked back to my room in a daze. I flopped down on my bed silently and stared out the tiny little opening that acted as a 'window' for the tent. I watched as the sky changed colours and then I heard Mr. Banner's whistle to get us all up on time and then I heard Mrs. Cope knock on our tents to get us up. The girls all got up and wished me a good morning seeming to not realize I was already dressed and ready.

Emily noticed me first. Or rather, she noticed that I was off in my own world and hadn't moved a muscle the entire time.

She looked around to see that Alice was in the bathroom and Rosalie had already dressed and gone out to meet Emmett.

"You spoke to him right?" She asked quietly.

I nodded my head slightly. The letter was tucked into my pocket for safety.

I rolled over to face Emily, " I don't know whether I should thank you or not. But you definitely should thank me." I said.

Emily looked confused so I decided to explain further, "He somehow guessed that you had given that letter to me and he looked so livid that if I had confirmed it he probably would have hauled you out of your bed and outta the tent to somewhere far away and left you for the dead." I exaggerated.

Emily just rolled her eyes, "Oh! Edward wouldn't hurt a fly! Well, unless the fly does something to his precious Bella." Emily teased.

I groaned and turned over to burry my face into the pillows.

And so the teasing begins!

So how was it?

I really liked the reviews so far.

I'd like to address to some of them:

To "Hehe" Yes guys like that do exist And he did write the letter. The whole thing. I guess I haven't mentioned the fact that he liked literature and he was good with words have i? don't worry you may get your fairy tale too

Anyway, to "Uknowimacullendarlin" No! don't jump off a cliff for your fairy tale. It really isn't pleasant. Trust me I would know. ;)

To "coincidentially stricken" Really? Whoa… that really is a coincidence. Well I'm glad you could relate to the story I hope you keep reading it

To all the other reviewers, THANKS A LOT FOR REVIEWING! It really makes my day to see that I've made you guys happy and you guys liked the story (till now)

I don't know if you'll hate me more or hate bella more for keeping Edward in the waiting zone, though.

There's not much of the story remaining now. We are kind of close to the half way mark.

Leave some love guys!

It motivates me to write and then you'll get your chapters sooner ;) ;)