'Clove!' I call out as I wake up. My left arm is held up by some construction and immobilized. I try to sit up just to realize I'm restrained to bed. Horrid smell of hospital fills my nostrils, making me want to throw up. I try to breathe through my mouth, to block smells. The room I'm in – all alone – is white, in terrible, cold white of hospital. Several tubes are stuck in my right arm, making me close to panic. An old memory flashes. I hate the hospitals since the very first time I was in one. Being in a hospital means being weak, and I hate feeling weak. To make it even worse, I feel I'm not wearing characteristic pinkish hospital gown I would wear in hospital in District Two – I'm not wearing anything. And this time I can't even threaten a nurse into calling my mom!
I'm close to breaking down, as I feel I'm a little boy longing for mom again. Yes, deep inside, I'm still this little boy with constantly scratched arms and bruised knees. I chuckle, thinking that all my neighbors who were always complaining about my pranks and calling me "hellish kid" will greet me as a hero. Then, I imagine my mom reminding all of them that she always said I'd be a victor. She must be proud of me right now. Well, I endured the arena. Surviving time in hospital sure can't be worse…
Hidden door in wall slides open and an Avox comes in, carrying a tray. I lick my lips. Food! I always hated hospital food, but I'm starving. The Avox places tray across my thighs and as I'm raised to sitting position, I dare a sniff. I smile. I love Enobaria so much! It just has to be her idea to provide something similar to "sick soup". I eat quickly and soon the tiny bowl I was given is empty. On the other hand, I feel completely full. My rebellious nature makes me try to get up, but morphling is provided again and I drift off.
How long is this happening? How long am I held unconscious nearly all the time, allowed to wake up only for a meal? I feel horrible. Somewhere out of this room is Clove, and she needs me. I must be hallucinating, because I see faces of boys who were laughing at me on my first day in the training academy, I hear their sneering. I blame morphling for that. Other times, my hallucinations contain mazes I must cross to find Clove. But I never reach her.
Finally, I'm free. My arm is fully healed, I feel young and strong. I get up to find I'm completely fine. I see the outfit I was wearing in the arena, only it's clean. I put it on. It fits me perfectly, just like clothes at home I was wearing for years. I grin, knowing this is the time I'll see Clove again. The door in wall opens and I come out, calling out Clove's name. I'm in some hall, totally different than in hospitals in Two. There are no visible doors, but I just know there must be some hidden.
'Clove!' I call out again.
'Cato…?' I hear a shy voice. I follow it and bang on wall.
'Clove!' I shout. Soundlessly, the door slides open and I smile, knowing I'll see Clove there. The next moment, I close my eyes and cover them with my hand for good measure.
'For crying out loud, Clove! GET DRESSED!' I shriek. I know I'm blushing. I hear some rustling and Clove's chuckle.
'You can open your eyes now' she says. I do, and see her smiling, dressed in the arena clothes. Her hair is loose, part of it around her temple shaven off. Even though normally the victor is robbed of every single scar gotten in the Games (and some of them make up for this with scarifications later), they left the scar on her temple. I reach my hand to my cheek, and I'm relieved that the first scar I've ever received – one I got from Clove – is still on its place. It even seems deeper. I take Clove by hand and we leave the room, looking for the rest. For our escort, Flaria. For our mentors, Enobaria and Brutus. And for the stylists, Kotti and Meran.
They are all waiting for us at the end of the hall. Flaria waves to us enthusiastically, making us hurry a little. Soon, we're standing in front of them. None of us knows what to do or say. We stand still for a long while until Enobaria ruffles my hair.
'Great job, Kitten' she says, smiling widely. And I was thinking that if I become victor she'd finish with this silly nickname! But it seems I'll be Kitten for her forever. I feel Clove cuddling up to me and I look at her. She's terrified again, so I embrace her protectively.
'No need to fear' I whisper to her. 'Enobaria doesn't bite… anymore.'
Of course, this makes everyone laugh. I can bet that Enobaria is mentoring every year partially because she must be brilliant at getting sponsors – no one can resist her wide smile when she asks "You want to sponsor tributes from District Two, don't you?". Even Clove lets a quiet chuckle. Enobaria then pulls us both into a tight embrace. I can feel her smiling. I smile, too, when I feel Brutus joining the hug. Then Flaria says something and we're freed.
'Let's go!' Kotti says, grabbing my wrist. 'You must look amazing for the ceremony!'
Meran gently leads Clove. She looks for my eyes, and I smile to her. She smiles back, but it's obvious she's scared.
'Don't worry' I say. 'They will make you beautiful.'
We go by elevator to second floor and we're greeted by our prep teams. First, we have a meal together – a Capitol meal, not soup – and then we're separated. My prep team takes care of me, chattering nearly all the time. They praise my medical knowledge, my strength, my devotion.
'I was sure your girl was gone!' Dupa exclaims underlining my eyebrows. I hate the make-up. Boys shouldn't wear any.
'Yes, I was terrified!' Kutas adds. 'I thought you'd kill her! You know, finish her off so that she wouldn't suffer any longer…'
'How did you know what to do?' Wawel was always the most curious of my prep team. I sigh.
'We have some first aid training at school' I say quietly, and then the three of them burst into chatter again.
'I loved it when you snapped this boy's neck, just like this! It was amazing!'
'And when you slashed this huge black guy! My heart stopped when he hit you!'
I don't want to listen anymore. Finally, I'm ready to see Kotti again. She has the outfit for me.
'You'll make a great impression when you're raised to the stage' she says. 'I bet everyone will love it!'
'What will Clove be wearing?' I ask with pure curiosity. Kotti winks to me.
'You'll see on stage' she says, smiling. I'm a little disappointed that I won't see her before, but don't protest. I put on the outfit: tight, tan shirt making me look even more muscular, with a wolf head emblem on my chest, fitted, dark brown pants, leather belt, soft, light leather shoes and a tan bandana on my forehead. I look at the mirror and grin.
'Were you reading "Wolf Protector"?' I ask. Kotti chuckles, happy that I recognized the superhero outfit.
'No, but Meran was' she says. 'He said it will fit you perfectly.'
I take a few steps in my outfit and make sure it's comfortable. Then I go to elevator, to go to the training level. Soon I'm standing on a metal plate beneath the stage. I hear typical Capitol noise. Caesar Flickerman greets the audience. Applause sounds for the prep teams, then to Flaria, to Kotti and Meran, then to Enobaria and Brutus. I hear some fearful gasps – I guess Enobaria flashes her sweetest smile to the audience. And then, the plate lifts me to the stage. I look for Clove and smile just to her, as if we were alone. She looks sweet and childish in a red-checkered skirt on braces, pastel blue blouse, light blue sandals and with her hair pulled up in two high pigtails with blue bows, tied up covering her scar. Meran did his best to make her look like a child too young for a reaping. So I don't wait but dash to her, grab her under arms and spin her in my arms, like I would do with a little sister. She giggles, causing me to go faster. The message our appearance sends is simple: our victory is all thanks to me, I am the real victor. If Clove was herself, she would be furious. But Thresh turned her to a little, squeamish girl, and I'm taking advantage of it.
Caesar wants to continue the show and we're all for it. We sit on the victor's chair: a plush velvet couch. I'm embracing Clove, wondering how she will react to seeing highlights of the Games… and if anyone told her she will. I hear a few more jokes and the lights dim.
Clove tenses nearly straight away, as the reapings replay. She sees us both volunteer, she sees her own face twisted in fury as I volunteered. Then we act like total strangers, not exchanging a single word. As the bloodbath begins on screen, Clove shrieks in fear and cuddles up to me. I hug her protectively, putting her legs over my lap. I look like a big brother shielding his little sister from a lightning storm or something like this. Every single death is shown in a close-up. A few times, a tribute dies at her hands. Clove buries her face in my chest and I gently stroke her hair. It must be awful to her, seeing what she did when she can't remember anything. She dares a glance at the screen when the rule change is announced. On screen, we both seem stunned and then smile to each other. And then, the highlights show us growing closer and closer. Someone in the audience gasps, looking at screen, at stage and at screen again. Probably comparing the intimate hug of lovers on screen and protective hug on stage. But I don't mind.
Clove turns her head back to my chest as the feast begins. I, on the other hand, can't help watching it. I see her torturing the Firegirl, then frantically trying to get away from Thresh's grasp, finally – lying on the ground. I see myself, running up to her and cutting her head open, then taking her away. I watch myself guarding Clove, then close-up of my terrified face as I realize Clove lost her memory. I see my fight with Thresh. I see how this ginger from Five died, eating poisonous berries. And then, our fight with team from Twelve on Cornucopia. Everyone falls silent as the rule change is revoked. I hug Clove tighter and protect her from sight of us ready to slit each other's throat.
We're announced victors and the anthem plays again. I stand up, lifting Clove to her feet. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying. Snow goes up to us, followed by a little girl, who carries cushion with two crowns. We're both crowned, Clove first and I right after her. Snow smiles to us and we wave to the audience. I take a bow and hug Clove tightly.
We're taken to Victory Banquet, and I never let go of Clove. She clings onto me all the time, close to crying. Taking photos tires me, and all that I want is going to bed. And finally, it happens. I sit on my bed when Clove comes to my room. Obviously she was crying just a while before. I come up to her and hug her tightly, then I carry her to my bed. I touch her foot gently. Cold. I tuck my blanket around her.
'You really should have put on some shoes' I whisper, stroking her hair. She closes her eyes.
'Can I sleep here?' she asks brokenly.
'Of course' I whisper, still stroking her. She is still tense, so I quietly sing a lullaby from home.
'Star has not yet fallen, flaming is the star.
People go like clouds fly, scared with them they are.
Star has not yet fallen, hush, my baby, hush.
All around will vanish, star keeps you from rush.
Baby comes from heaven, to the earth from far.
Star has not yet fallen, flaming is the star…
Star has not yet fallen, flaming is the star.
Where did this joy come from? Empty heaven plays.
Angels left already, while animals stay.
Star has not yet fallen, sheds its shadow on.
Sleep, baby, sleep human, for God is long gone.
Baby comes from heaven, to the earth from far.
Star has not yet fallen, flaming is the star…
Star has not yet fallen, flaming is the star.'
I sing it over and over again several times, until Clove falls asleep. Then I lay down next to her and drift off to sleep too.
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