Chapter 8: Gone
Sakura lay sleeping soundly on Kakashi's soft bed. He had been up for some time; it was now 4:00 AM on Sunday morning. He was showered and dressed and quickly finished packing his bag. He went to the bed and watched the woman sleeping deeply; her soft breaths were serene and sweet.
He wasn't surprised she slept through his noisy showering and changing, he had spent her to exhaustion bringing him to the brink also, but as much as he wanted to sleep he had a mission. As much as she protested sleepily when his warm body shifted and left the bed, he still had to leave. It felt so good to lie beside her, entangled in her heat and softness, he held her tightly fearing the inevitable, that they would have to part. He loved her, he knew it, with his entire being, and to be away from her was going to kill him.
Would he have gone through with it had he known how difficult it would be to leave her? His mind thought not, but the rest of him decided it was worth it. They had laid in each other's arms the rest of the short night, it was so right, her warmth was addictive and when he slipped from her clinging body, he burned with instant regret.
It was time to go, the clock was blazing 4:06 at him and he knew he was already late, but such is life when you deal with Hatake Kakashi. Shikamaru had started giving him early times just so he would be close to making meetings on time.
He moved slowly over her body on his hands and knees and let his weight fall on her lightly. She stirred a little and her eyes opened lazily to look at him, her soft smile spread as she ran her fingers to his sides to grip onto him, just the way he loved.
He ran his fingers over her bare shoulder and brushed some hair away from her face. The affection in his touch was not lost on her.
"Sakura, I'm leaving and I wanted to say goodbye... sorry to wake you."
Her smile left her face, she knew this would come; it was just so much harder than she imagined. He kissed her deeply and their soft breathing swept across each other's cheeks. He felt her hands grip tighter to him making it hard for him to get off her. Tenderness and passion lingered in the kiss.
"It's harder than I thought it would be...I don't want you to go." She looked so desperate and he returned it with a look of sadness, lowering his head slightly.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I asked you to give me one night, and you did, there's no guilt. I knew it would be like this" She fought the tears that threatened her as she raised a hand to run her fingers over his lips.
She could see some pain in his face; she had never seen him look like that before. He looked in her eyes, something was tearing at him, she could tell.
"Sakura...you...you will hear things...what I am doing...I...oh shit." He looked away.
"I know you can't tell me about it, you don't have to." She tried to look strong, tried to make it look like it didn't matter. He resumed his gaze at her half open eyes.
"I'm going to be gone a long time, I don't know how long. I wanted last night, but I worry that tomorrow you'll regret it and that you'll hate me and yourself for what we did." He laid his head on her chest as he moved beside her, clinging to her. She began to run her fingers through his light hair.
"Oh, no," she began lovingly, "you'll never have to worry about that. It was just for us, between you and I. We deserved to have this before you left. You have been such an important person in my life; it's natural that this be with you. I wanted this with you." her fingers still ran through his soft hair as his eyes closed slightly from the feeling and the comfort of her words.
"Sakura...I haven't let anyone get this close in a long time. Our game, all the time we spent together...well...you know me...better than anyone now." He was struggling for what to say, to give her something to remember when he was gone and for when she would hear of his betrayal.
His concern for the horrible persona he would be given later that day, grated on him. He had faith in her, she was intelligent, he hoped she would know it was a mission but he couldn't be sure. Kakashi, being who he was, would never divulge information of that nature; it would just be against everything he had become, even to her. How could she believe in him if no one could confirm it to her that it was only a mission? This type of scenario had never been done before so there was no precedent to guide her.
He hoped the things he said to her were enough.
"Good-bye Sakura"
She didn't stop the tears now; she just let them come without shame.
"Good-bye Kakashi" she whispered as he rose slightly from her chest and kissed her one last time. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but it would be unfair given the circumstances. She bit dpwn on the words before they could come.
He lifted himself from the bed to look over her and turned to grab his large black bag, hoisting it over his shoulder. He moved swiftly to the door and turned, waving a small wave at her with the hand that held the bag strap. He closed the door quickly before it became impossible and stood composing himself on the step for a moment.
He wanted to ask her to wait for him, that when he was finished he would come back and continue where they left off but it wouldn't be kind. He couldn't explain what was happening, all through their careers, ninjas are told that even the most innocently passed information can be dangerous to anyone. As she heard tomorrow that he was a missing-nin, a Leaf betrayer, asking her to wait for him would be cruel. Now he felt that all they had done was cruel too and he ached with the regret.
He walked towards the ANBU headquarters for his new mission as a missing- nin.
"Ah Kakashi, finally." Shikamaru said. "We have everything set in motion. Unfortunately, when you leave, you won't be able to return until everything is set right. We have a return plan but, of course, we may not need it for a long time. What you do for Konoha is beyond measure, I hope you know that."
Kakashi and Neji nodded silently. They both seemed to be feeling low about the whole mission, as would anyone in their situation.
"Who are we assassinating tonight?" Kakashi asked.
"Whom would you like to?" Shikamaru laughed.
"I'm getting an idea." Neji said sternly.
"Sorry...as Neji knows we have planned with the head of Hyuuga Head family to leave the area for a while. The word will be spread that there was an attempt on him by you two and he and three other Hyuuga members were injured. Don't worry; you haven't killed anyone. We will say that they are at an outside medical center being treated so they will be leaving the area for a month or two. Your motive was a Hyuuga takeover and Kakashi's motive was money."
"You'd better get moving, make sure you head through the city quickly, let at least one or two people see you and then make your way to the southwestern edge of the Land of Clouds. Be careful that you don't run into the Cloud or Mist ninjas that seem to propagate that area. There is a small village about two or three kilometers from the compound of Kanrei and his group. There is a small Inn there that we have set you up at for now. Frequent the bar but don't make it too obvious, they have to approach you."
"We know." Neji said darkly.
"Meetings will take place every three weeks. Each one will be planned at the last. I'll try to get there if I can. It will be a four-man ANBU squad consisting of only people involved. You can pass information to them and let them know if there is anything you need."
"Shikamaru, we know. We have been through all this." Neji was impatient.
"Alright, good luck, gentlemen." Shikamaru added.
"Ready" Neji asked Kakashi
Kakashi nodded and they left in a flurry of smoke.
Sakura finally woke and looked at the clock. 10:39. He was long gone for hours. She felt depressed, after such a passionate night she would have to wait maybe a year for it again. She smiled a little thinking of what they had done. It was beyond what she ever thought that physical act could ever be. She never wanted another man and she swore she would wait forever; desire still crept below the surface as she remembered it.
After rousing finally from his comfortable bed, she slipped in for a quick shower before leaving. She smelled the soap, sandalwood, that distinct scent Kakashi always had. She washed with it just so she could smell him on her skin.
She finally got out and found her dress, slipping it on to find the sixth button missing. The short search for it was to no avail and she just pulled it shut with her fingers before leaving. Grasping the sad looking plant from the bedroom windowsill she headed for the door. She turned one last time looking at his headband neatly set on the table wondering where he had gone and when she would see him again. She locked the door as she left hoping that he actually had a key, as she had never actually known him to lock it, and closed the door.
As she walked the short block to her home her mind was already reminiscing about their night. She was happy beyond measure that he wanted her, they shared something so personal and intimate but it was so natural for them. He was her closest companion, someone she could always go to and wanted to be with, she knew she was in love with him.
When he left there was no declaration for her, no flowered words of love or commitment. It was a simple good-bye. It was right, he didn't ask her to wait and she didn't say she would. She understood that since he would be gone a long time, there could be no understanding between them. Obligation was not his objective for her, but she would have yielded to it happily.
It was just for them, something to share for only them. There would never be another last night again. It would be a beautiful secret she kept in a room in her heart that she could visit from time to time.
She approached her apartment slowly, her mind lost in reverie, to see a figure standing there by the door looking lost.
"Um...hi" she said timidly.
"Haruno Sakura?" a young female chuunin asked her.
"Yes."
"Orders from ANBU headquarters."
"ANBU?"
She handed the papers to her and Sakura darted inside her apartment slipping the plant onto her kitchen windowsill, not even closing her door.
Haruno Sakura,
your application has been accepted for a position with the ANBU squad of Konoha. Testing will commence at 9:00 am Monday.
Testing will be done in the following areas
Tai-Jutsu
Gen-Jutsu
Nin-Jutsu
Sen-Jutsu
Speed
Accuracy
Intelligence
Please report into the ANBU headquarters at the recruitment office upon arrival.
"Hey, there's a mandatory Jounin meeting at 4:00 at headquarters, I was told to tell you that too." The young girl shouted as she turned to leave.
"Thanks" Sakura shouted back out the open door.
I was accepted.
She felt something new now, a small feeling of some accomplishment as she was taking another step to improve herself. She smiled at the thought of it, but felt the bittersweet pain that she could not share it with Kakashi. He believed in her more than she had believed in herself. She looked up at the bottle of wine sitting on a shelf in the kitchen and slipped again into her memories. She was pleased she now had something to keep her busy... besides Sasuke.
She changed her clothes and lay down in her bed, letting the cool sheets twist around her legs. Sleep overcame her quickly as she had not had much the night prior.
It was three o'clock when she awoke again. A sunny day hung behind the window blinds and small creases of light ran around her bedroom. She stretched while her mind instantly thought of Kakashi and where he might be.
How many days will be like this, how long until the worry and pain dulls. It would most likely continue, until the day he returns, like Sasuke, shocking her into speechlessness.
She took another long shower washing off her sadness and looked with new determination. He would return, and when he did, she could proudly tell him she was ANBU.
Meeting at 4:00, she thought, what a pain.
She finally arrived at the Jounin headquarters to find every Jounin in the village there that wasn't out on a mission. They filled the common area of the building and the large room was hot and musky with all the body heat. It was an unusual sight, something huge must have happened and her curiosity was peaked. She looked around and saw Sasuke near the other side of the room, standing against the wall, the same dull expression on his face. He nodded at her when she waved to him, Naruto waving happily by his side. Her back met the wall in a lazy slouch near the door at the rear of the room as Tsunade finally stepped up to the front to address the crowd.
Voices whispered about what the meeting was about. Rumors of war, attacks and missing-nins filled the room until Tsunade put her hand up to quell the din.
"Jounins, I apologize to call this meeting on such short notice. There has been a development and it is our council's policy to inform you as soon as possible. There was an incident early this morning involving two Konoha elite. Hatake Kakashi and Hyuuga Neji. The details are not being completely released yet but these persons are to be considered missing-nins and deserters to the Leaf. If you come across them, they are to be apprehended...alive." She emphasized this point.
The crowd began excitedly murmuring and disbelief flooded the room.
Sakura stood up straight in shock; she could feel her hands start to shake and the burn in her eyes. Her mouth twitched and without the ability to stop herself, a small word began to fall from her lips in whispers.
"No....no...."
Tsunade raised her hands to quiet everyone.
"The attack was perpetrated on the Head of the Hyuuga family and the motives are not completely clear. Details will be released tomorrow. The hunter-nins have been dispatched. Anyone knowing any details should please come forward immediately."
"n...n....no"
Her head began looking around for someone to stop this horrible nightmare she was thrust into.
Sakura's vision swam slightly, small strips of light danced in front of her eyes, threatening to push her off balance. Her fingers grasped at her shirtfront trying to force more air into her body.
Her knees finally buckled slightly but she was held up by someone who appeared before her. Strong hands grabbed her arms in their finger and pulled her to them.
"Keep it together, Sakura, just for another minute." The calm voice said to her.
She could only register the green vest as she was ushered easily out the door into the warm fresh air. She could vaguely hear Tsunade still talking inside, the room eerily silent. Her body was lowered to a grassy area next to the building.
Her breathing was pained as she tried to grasp reality again. She still felt dizzy but began to calm down slightly as her rescuer stood beside her.
Genma finally lowered himself to sit on the grass, his focus completely on the jade-eyed woman. He knew as soon as he saw her in there that it wasn't going to be pretty. He understood how close Sakura and Kakashi were, and since he was privy to what was happening he knew it would hit her hard. As soon as Tsunade began speaking he shifted through the crowd moving towards her.
"It's not true, Genma. There's been a mistake. Everyone knows Kakashi wouldn't do this." She was in disbelief and he felt sorry for her.
"Sakura...don't let it break you. Keep your hope."
"Hope? For what Genma, I don't understand. They're wrong; it's a mistake. He wouldn't do that. How could they make such a mistake." She began to laugh half-heartedly through the small tears gliding down her cheeks. "What a stupid mistake."
She looked down at her feet.
"It's just a mistake." She said quietly.
He put his hand on her shoulder as she began to let herself cry openly. Her shoulders hitched with her sobs and then she suddenly stopped, her head lifted to look at him.
"He can't come back....he can't come back!"
She fell forward on the grass sobbing, feeling Genma's sympathetic hand rub her back. He was slightly uncomfortable with the situation but felt he owed it to Kakashi with what he would have to go through.
Sakura sat back up slightly to perceive another set of feet near her. She looked up to see Sasuke standing there. His face was emotionless as he looked down at her distress.
He crouched low and grabbing her gently by the arms, hoisting her up to his level. Wordlessly he wrapped his arm around her waist and after nodding to Genma he began to walk her to her apartment.
He let her continue to cry as they reached her doorstep and taking the key from her, he opened the door. She fell back on her bed as soon as she entered the room. Sasuke sat on it next to her, his back to her.
"Sakura, crying won't do any good. You shouldn't display such weakness to everyone." He said coolly.
She looked up in realization.
"What do you know, Sasuke? Neji was at your house yesterday, talking about this. What do you know?" she stopped crying and looked at him realizing he was in on this ridiculous charade.
Sasuke just looked at her, surprised that she had overheard his conversation. Because it was going to be a story about an attempt on the family, it was felt that with his family history he should know before hand and he was involved from the beginning. What a foolish mistake to let someone overhear.
"I can't answer that, so don't ask me to." He words were sharp and she knew he wouldn't tell her anything.
It has to be a mission, but I've never heard of declaring someone a missing- nin. Hunter-nins were dispatched? I know Kakashi; he wouldn't do this. It has to be a mission, but declaring them Leaf deserters to everyone?
She began to doubt her heart and Kakashi. If it was a mission, it had never been done before and she couldn't imagine why they would be declared criminals. She felt tears burn her eyes again as she bowed her head.
Sasuke watched the mental wrestling match behind Sakura's green eyes. She was trying to figure it out. She was smart, he knew she would not accept this easily and it pained him somewhat not to be able to offer her any relief from it. She had been there so much for him and after the conversation between he and Naruto, he believed Sakura had clung to Kakashi, after he had left, like a crutch.
He leaned forward and pulled her close as she became tired with weeping and as the hours passed and the night wore on she fell asleep resting in his arms.
Kakashi and Neji moved swiftly all morning and by early evening had reached the border of Cloud. They had to make it to their destination by the next morning, as the announcement would be made they would become targets.
Kakashi had changed from his usual Jounin outfit to a pair of dark jeans, boots, a black mesh t-shirt and a long brown coat with a short upturned collar that sat high near his cheeks. His mask was in place but now he sported an eye patch over his Sharingan. Shikamaru thought it looked criminal but Kakashi likened himself to a pirate. Neji was dressed similarly but wore a short black coat and sunglasses to hide his unique eyes. His forehead tattoo was now covered with just the wrappings he wore previously to receiving his head protector.
They rested at the edge of the forest. The two men did not talk during their flight and now as he sat with his back to a tree, Kakashi began to think of what Sakura must be going through. He was affected at what would happen as she heard. He hoped she could be strong in the face of it all and that she would keep her faith and trust in him.
"If you begin to worry now, it will be a difficult mission for you." Neji said uncharacteristically.
"Sorry?" Kakashi said quietly as he slipped from his reverie.
"The person you are thinking about. You are worrying about someone, a woman." Neji said plainly.
Kakashi raised his eyebrow at the young elite sitting with him.
"Your eyes moved up and to the left indicating a memory cue. Your finger is rubbing your mouth slightly, which indicates a strong emotional connection. Your foot is moving slightly indicating nervousness. I deduced that it is a woman you are worried about."
Kakashi smiled. He'd have to be more careful how he was looking around.
"She's a friend."
Neji nodded. He understood Kakashi's nature as easily as that. He was not a man to discuss personal things and Neji could relate simply because he was similar.
"How difficult do you think it will be to fall in with this Kanrei and his group?" Neji asked.
"I can't be sure. He's not very trusting as his file said. He likes to test people. We may run into other criminals that we have had dealings with. That will add a complication to everything. If we manage to get inside he will probably give us some difficult tasks as proof of loyalty." Kakashi suddenly realized how much more danger there would be on this mission and instead of questioning when they would be able to return, it now became if.
"We'd better get moving." Neji began to rise to his feet.
Kakashi stood and took a last look at the forest before they darted away to the Cloud country. They moved swiftly and as the night began to fall they reached the small Inn in the village. It was only two or three kilometers west of the complex that housed the man who called himself the Zetsumeikage.
They both wondered how long it would take to attract the attention of the lethal group. Kakashi figured it to be at least three or four days before the news got out about them.
Sakura looked at her clock realizing that today was another day. She would have to be strong. The overwhelming feeling of loss and confusion still sat in her stomach leaving a hollow pit.
It was already eight o'clock and she turned to look at Sasuke, fully dressed and sleeping comfortably beside her. He had woken her once or twice in the night with his fitful movements but she drifted off again in time.
She got up slowly and headed for her shower. Today she would begin her ANBU testing. The excitement she should have felt was gone, replaced with something she couldn't name; she could only feel it churning in her insides. Was it fear, nerves, loss, pain. Maybe all of them mixed together.
In no time she was dressed in her usual shorts and black long sleeved shirt. She sat in her kitchen having some black coffee and listening to Sasuke's heavy, sleep laden breathing for half an hour. The hot coffee slid down her throat and she looked in on Sasuke again before heading back out towards the ANBU headquarters.
As she approached she felt tingling in her fingers as what she was embarking on became a reality. Genma greeted her at the recruitment office and he offered her a tense hug before telling her how her day would go.
"Sakura, your first tests today will be Tai-Jutsu and Gen-Jutsu. There is an examination officer who will run through all the moves and Jutsus you will have to perform. If you miss even one, you will not be accepted so do your best."
She nodded, she didn't feel like smiling but figured for ANBU a smile was probably not required. She looked at his brown eyes, full of empathy for her.
"Genma, thanks for yesterday."
"Anytime, kid. Good luck." He put his hand on her shoulder and walked her to the examinant's room.
"Genma, will you do me a favor. I don't want anyone to know that I am enlisting for ANBU. I know it's strange but I wondered if you would keep it quiet for me?" her green eyes pleaded somewhat.
"I guess, Sakura. I won't ask why." He smiled and she trusted his warm brown eyes.
"Promise me?" she smiled half-heartedly as he nodded in agreement.
She stepped inside and held her head up as the instructor showed her the list and she began. She would not fail here.
She spent a great deal of the day testing and in the end did not miss anything. Gen-Jutsu was a strong suit of hers and her Tai-Jutsu had greatly improved over the last year or so. This was mainly due to the continuous game she had played with Kakashi, recalling moves he had used on her that she would turn back on him.
"Wonderful speed and timing on this, Sakura." The examinant told her, "Very well done today, keep this up and you are assured a spot in the squad. We don't get a lot of interest in ANBU from women. Is there any special unit or squad that you are interested in?"
She thought on it for a minute. She looked slowly up at him as if it should have been obvious to her from the start.
"Hunter-nin."
Ugh, transition chapter. We'll get Kakashi and Neji involved in some fun soon and Sakura will continue with ANBU.
I just finished catching up on the manga and oh I don't feel so bad about Sasuke now! I won't spoil it though.
I really, really like Neji too so he has become a supporting role.
Thanks for reading.
Leafygirl.
