Breakin' Me
Jag Fel had had enough. He was tired of the stolen glances, the secret liaisons. He had been in love with Jaina Solo, but he couldn't tell anyone. Except for Kyp Durron, that is. But even Kyp hadn't known the depth of Jag's feelings.
Everyday,
I see your face
I wished that I stayed
Don't even know what
made me run away
That's just the way I play the game
Jag didn't want to deal with it anymore, but Jaina seemed to have some kind of spell over him. So, he rode it out, never fully admitting to Jaina, or himself, just how much she meant to him. That was just the way he was.
Emotional
is not a word I'd use to explain myself
But now you got me down
upon my knees
Oh baby, please, just take me back
Then came the night when he first made love to her. He remembered the way she quietly admitted to him the way she felt. That she was in love with him. Deeply in love with him. And somehow, he knew that what he felt was now right, that the hiding had been worth it. He knew that he would find safety in her arms. If only it could've lasted longer than just that night.
I
don't want to be in love
But you're making me
Let me up
I've had enough!
Girl, you're breakin' me
Jag remembered the furball so clearly. The Vong had made another attack on Borleias. Naturally, Twin Suns were the first out into the fray. Jag could see, in his mind's eye, the skirmish they had gotten into. And he had had every confidence that Twin Suns would make it out alright. And they had.
For the most part.
Jaina had gotten caught by a couple dozen or so coralskippers. Jag and Kyp had tried to punch through them.
They just kept coming.
Now
here I am, a half a man
Just standing alone
Jaina's ship had been stripped of its shields. Much like when Jag had almost been lost a few months beforehand. The only thing that had saved him then was Kyp, who could do nothing for Jaina.
She was lost, and Jag knew it.
Just
feeling like I lost my only chance
At happiness when I let you go
Jag had heard Jaina's orders to return to base. He sat in his clawcraft, numb. He knew that he had to help her. He wasn't going to give up on her, not just yet. He couldn't. So, instead of following orders, he raced back into combat zone, desperate to save Jaina. His gambit seemed to have worked. Jaina was almost free.
Almost.
I
don't want to be alone
Thinkin' bout you girl
I've got
nothing left to hold
In my lonely world
Jag watched as Jaina's ship was pulled farther into the fray, floating helplessly now. Then, it all happened so fast.
A skip shot…
Jaina's cockpit…
Jaina's failed EV attempt…
Jaina smashing into the roof of the cockpit…
Jag's disembodied scream…
The
first time my heart was ever touched
Was the day I lost your love
I can feel it in my flesh, my flesh and blood
But my soul can
only take so much
Jag didn't remember how he survived. The next thing he remembered after Jaina's death was sitting in his quarters, sobbing. He felt as if he had been torn in two. Jaina had been a part of him. He just never realized it.
So
there it is
Why can't you give it one more try?
And you and
I could find a way to live
If you let me in just one more time
Jag was lost. He had nothing left for him. Somehow, he had known deep down that Jaina was the person he was meant to be with. And now she had been taken from him. He pounded a fist on his comm console.
It wasn't fair! First Davin, then Cherith and now Jaina. He couldn't live like this anymore.
I
know you lost your faith in me
But I still believe
Quietly, Jag packed his things and sat them on his bed. The bed where just the previous night he had shown Jaina how much she meant to him. Choking back tears, he headed for the hangar. He powered up his clawcraft and blasted out of the hangar bay.
Can
I make you understand?
Can I make you see?
The interdictor never knew what was coming. All they saw was the gleam of metallic silver splashed with blood-red heading straight for them.
I
am desperate for your love
And it's breakin' me…
As he plowed into the bow of the interdictor, he knew that this was it for him. He smiled.
I love you Jaina, he thought.
