Hey guys! So I told you chapter 8 would be up soon :D I had some free time today so I managed to finish it up!
Someone reviewed asking about the length of the story, FF isn't letting me reply for some reason, so I'll say it here that I have 13 planned chapters, but that could turn into more if I have to split any up - like I had to with chapter 7, you'll see why with the length of this chapter xD
Read on and I hope you enjoy!
And the hardest part of living,
Is just taking breaths to stay.
As soon as she arrived home she headed straight to the kitchen to get something to eat. Though she still didn't feel all that hungry, the noises her stomach was making protested otherwise.
Once she filled up on a bowl of cereal she grabbed a book from her sheld and headed over to her couch and collapsed upon it.
As she read, her eyes began to drift shut, her body giving in to the missed nights sleep. Just as she was about to slip into a deep slumber, the sensation of a familiar reiatsu swept over her, startling her and causing her to leap to her feet.
The usual sense of giddiness rose up like it always did before her misery pushed it swiftly back down. She flitted around the room trying to busy herself for a distraction. Panic set in as she felt his reiatsu growing closer, along with an unfamiliar heated emotion.
Just as she shoved her book back onto a shelf, there was a sharp knock on her door. She paused crouched in her position on the floor, debating to herself whether to even open the door. She didn't feel like seeing him right now.
Orihime shook her head and stood up. Now isn't the time to be petty. She treaded over to her door, taking a deep breath as she slid back the lock and pulled it open. It creaked lightly as daylight poured into her hall way.
Ichigo stood before her, his hand at the back of his neck as it always was whenever he felt uneasy.
"Hey Inoue," he smiled nervously at her. Her eyes narrowed slightly before she turned and walked back, making her way into the kitchen, leaving the door of her apartment open so that he could let himself in. Okay so maybe I can be a little petty.
She heard him step inside after her closing the door behind him, before she sensed him standing hesitantly in the doorway of her kitchen, not knowing what to do with himself.
Orihime was on automatic pilot as she filled up her kettle with water from the kitchen tap. When there was enough water inside for two cups she placed it back on it's stand and flicked the switch on, watching as it glowed orange.
Ichigo cleared his throat as he rubbed the back of his neck. "So…how have you been?" Orihime glanced at him, an incredulous look flitted over her face for a moment before she quickly adjusted her expression to a normal one. He still caught it though. "Sorry…stupid question." He paused as he watched her pull out two cups and dropped a tea bag into each of them. "After I checked on Tatsuki last night I came to check on you, but you had already left." Silence filled the air as he waited to see if Orihime was going to say anything in reply.
Steamed poured out the top of the kettle before it pinged and the switch clicked back into it's off position. Orihime poured water into each of the cups then placed them on a tray, before picking it up and making her way to leave the kitchen.
Still not looking at Ichigo, he stumbled backwards as she walked straight towards him without asking him to move out the way. He watched her as she walked into her sitting room. She knelt down at her table with her back to him, then placed the tray down carefully. He couldn't help but frown. Is she angry with me? He slowly walked over and sat himself opposite her, watching her closely.
Her eyes were lowered as she took a cup off the tray, leaning over to place it in front of him, before taking the other cup and sitting back on her heels, wrapping her delicate fingers around the warm cup.
Her eyes showed tell tale signs of a missing nights sleep. Ichigo felt a stab of guilt. If she is mad, I guess I deserve it.
He couldn't help but notice the vast difference between to the table they had shared just a couple of weeks ago at the school festival, and the table they were sharing now. He grimaced as he noted his absence probably contributed the most to the tense atmosphere that now lay between them.
Ichigo reached towards his own cup, picking it up and blowing at the steamy liquid to cool it. "Inoue…are you okay?" His question was serious. Her eyes slowly lifted to look into his questioning ones. He felt a horrible pang looking into her eyes. The shadows around them were more apparent when she looked at him, her eyes didn't smile at him like they normally did, instead they seemed cold…distant.
She closed her eyes and sighed. Her fingers pinched at the bridge of her nose.
"I could be worse. I couldn't sleep last night so I'm tired."
She replaced her hand where it had been around her cup, playing with the small ridges in the design.
Ichigo gave her a small sympathetic smile. "That's understandable. I was really worried when I didn't see you at school today."
Orihime couldn't suppress the incredulous laugh that left her mouth. Ichigo looked astonished before frowning.
"I mean it Inoue. I tried to leave school early to come see you but my homeroom teacher caught me and gave me detention. She watched me like a hawk for the whole day." His tone was insistant, she couldn't help but look back at him.
When she looked into his eyes she could feel the sincerity of his words. He looked at her the same way whenever he made her a promise.
As he continued to stare back into her eyes unfalteringly, Orihime began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. She chugged down the rest of her tea then excused herself as she went to make herself another cup.
As she hurriedly got up she swept past the shelf in her sitting room, causing it to sway and items to fall onto the floor. Orihime groaned to herself as she turned to see the mess that now scattered the floor. She crouched down onto her knee's and began to pick up what she could before going to place it back on the shelf.
"Here, I'll help." Ichigo had gotten up and came over to help her clear up.
Orihime mumbled a thank you as she placed some books and photo frames back onto the shelf.
On his second round of gathering the fallen items, a bundle of coloured envelopes caught Ichigo's eye. His hand automatically reached over and picked up the top envelope, turning it over to reveal the front. He frowned down at the messy writing of Orihime's name that was barely readable surrounded by red scribbled hearts.
Gritting his teeth he picked up another envelope with similar writing on the front, then some pieces of folded paper, his scowl deepening as he continued to read Orihime's name written in numerous different hand writing. He felt a heated emotion ripping through him, his hands full of the letters began to shake.
When he could no longer hold any more of the paper, he shifted his gaze to Orihime who was picking up a pile of drawing pins that had spilled from a small plastic box.
"What are these?" He tried to keep his voice as emotionless as possible, but he knew he sounded angry.
Orihime's eyes lifted up to Ichigo's questioningly, before searching then focusing on what was in his hands.
He watched as her eyes widened in horror, her cheeks flushing as she quickly crawled forward and took the bundle of paper from his hands, shoving it all into a box that lay on it's side beside him.
Ichigo felt the anger grow as he saw that there were countless more love letters inside the box that Orihime was now trying to hastily shove a lid on and move out of sight.
"What is all of that?" Ichigo no longer cared how he sounded, he didn't try to restrain the emotions he was feeling at all.
Orihime made sure not to make eye contact with him. She carried the box into her room before returning, shutting the door carefully behind her.
Did she really have to answer? Wasn't it obvious what it was?
Orihime chose to ignore Ichigo's previous question, assuming that he would just drop the matter. She thought wrong.
He reached over ,still on his knee's and grabbed her wrist. She felt her body turn towards him, her startled eyes meeting his scowling ones.
"Inoue, why are you keeping all of those?" How many were there? He'd always known that Orihime drew a lot of attention in their school. The number of her admirers had increased as they had reached their third year.
But after seeing the sheer number of love letters he felt himself begin to worry. When had she become so popular? Why hadn't he noticed just how popular she was?
What had he been doing all this time?
She stuttered her reply. "B-because…I can't throw them away."
She tried to push his hand from her wrist, her embarrassment showing in her flushed cheeks with her head turned away, but there was no comparison between their strength.
"What do you mean you can't? It's pretty easy to just throw them out."
Orihime's struggling hand froze, her gaze turning to him.
"Kurosaki-kun, of course I can't throw them out."
He growled his response as he got to his feet, towering over her, not releasing his hold. "Of course you can."
Her eyebrows pulled together as she frowned up at him, "No I can't! Do you know how inconsiderate that is?"
"Inconsiderate? Inoue you don't even know them!"
Her eyebrows relaxed slightly as she tried to get him to understand. "So what? I can't treat other people's feelings so lightly!"
Ichigo felt a nerve snap at this, "Inoue, believe me most of these guys feelings aren't the innocent type you're making them out to be. They're only after one thing, and it's nothing innocent."
Orihime looked at him horrified. She finally managed to wrench her wrist from his grasp. "Kurosaki-kun how can you say that? You have no idea what it's like to have your love go unnoticed, it takes a lot for someone to lay their feelings out so bare for others to see. Besides, what right do you have to lecture me when you haven't even given me the courtesy of a conversation for almost three weeks." She felt her eyes prickle as they began to water. She was angry and hurt that he could make love out to be something so cheap and immature.
"Heh heh. I guess he thinks that if he puts a toy down it will still be there when he wants to play with it again."
Orihime felt herself freeze. She quickly looked up at Ichigo before remembering that he wasn't able to hear the voice. The image of her reflection in the hospital door's window came to the forefront of her mind. She immediately whipped herself around and walked towards her bedroom, hoping that Ichigo hadn't noticed a change in her eyes in the brief moment she looked at him.
Ichigo was surprised at her sudden absence for a second before he followed after her still scowling. She'd swung the door behind her but in her hurry to create some distance between them she hadn't pushed it hard enough and it was still open. Ichigo walked through the doorway, stopping a few meters from where she stood with her back to him.
"Inoue, I know exactly what it feels like to have your love go unnoticed, believe me. But it's because of love that I haven't been around lately…" Orihime felt herself gasp. Was he really saying this now? One hand went to her stomach as she felt it churn uncomfortably, her other pressed firmly over her eyes.
"Well there you have it princess, he's pretty much just confirmed that he will never love you."
Orihime's eyes watered as she tried to push he hollow back, but she could feel it clawing away at her from somewhere within her, continuing to rise up no matter how desperately she tried to suppress it.
Ichigo felt guilty looking at her shaking form. He stepped towards her. "Inoue…there's something I need to tell you."
"Heh heh, here it is princess. A direct refusal. "I've been spending so much time with that puny shinigami because I love her. You can't even compare to her no matter how hard you try.""
Shut up!
Ichigo reached out and gently touched her shoulder, wanting her to turn around and look at him.
Orihime's body spun around, but it was no longer Orihime who he was looking at. His breath caught in his throat as he flinched backwards. Orihime's face snarled at him viciously, her hands reached out taking advantage of his frozen stature to charge at him and push him down onto the ground. It took barely another second for him to feel himself being choked by a pair of hands that had wrapped themselves around his neck.
"You're going to die Shinigami!"
Ichigo's eyes snapped up at the sound of Orihime's voice that now sounded chilling, it seemed to reverberate around the room and throughout his body with each spoken word.
He felt himself as his eyes met with hers. Her eyes that were no longer brown. Instead her eyes seemed to glow an electric blue, contrasting against the onyx colour of her sclera.
He was completely taken by surprise. What's going on? Is that…her hollow?
"Bastard, where's Inoue?" Ichigo tried his best to shout out.
The hollow laughed down at him. "I've taken over that weak woman. But don't worry shinigami, by killing you I will end her suffering." Orihime's face was contorted into an unfamiliar sneer, her mouth was wide bearing her teeth as the hollow continued to snarl.
The hollow squeezed tighter on his throat, causing him to gasp for air.
What do I do?
He looked into those eyes that no longer looked familiar, searching…trying to find her. His gut wrenched as he searched harder. But he couldn't see her…and that scared him.
What do I do?
He tightened his grip on her wrists, inwardly apologising to her for hurting her and tried to pull her hands away futilely. She was stronger than he was in this state. He was struggling to catch his breath. He took in as much air as he could before he shouted to her.
"Orihime!"
Something snapped within Orihime. She fought with her hollow pushing her back to her place deep within.
He saw the black of her sclera recede slowly to it's usual white colour, her iris's becoming a darkened honey once more.
As her consciousness surfaced, her eyes widened in horror, her fingers becoming slack around his neck. She pulled her trembling hands away and stumbled backwards feeling the bile in her stomach start to churn.
Orihime's fingers pushed through her auburn hair, gripping her head as her eyes flickered over the scene before her. Ichigo was coughing and rubbing his neck that had turned red where her hands had been, resting up on the floor with one elbow.
Tears began to pour from her eyes. She couldn't believe it. What had she done?
What if she hadn't managed to come back? Ichigo probably could have died.
Ichigo looked up at Orihime who was becoming frantic, her breathing fastening as she panicked.
"Inoue…" she looked into his eyes, unable to read his expression in her state.
All Ichigo could see was how scared she was, he knew he had to reassure her right now. He steadily rose to his feet and stepped towards her, but she backed away from him, terrified. He felt himself freeze.
"Inoue…" he began again but she sniffed loudly.
"Get out." She managed to choke out through her tears. Ichigo blinked, stunned.
She couldn't possibly think that he would leave her like this. He stepped towards her again, but her fear of hurting him caused her to panic more and get angry. "Get out now!"
Ichigo had never heard her shout like that before and it sent chills through him. But he still didn't want to leave.
As he made to take another step Orihime summoned Santen Kesshun and began to use it as a shield to push him away.
"Inoue! Wait!" Ichigo shouted to her helplessly. She scrunched her eyes shut and turned her head away. "Don't push me out!" He tried to push against the barrier but it sparked where he touched it, giving his hand a shock. Ichigo heard the door of her apartment click open, turning his head he saw one of the Shun Shun Rikka hovering around the door as the other two pulled it open. The next thing he knew he was on the floor outside of her apartment. The door slammed shut and the lock clicked once more.
Ichigo clumsily rushed back to his feet, his balled up fist meeting with her door causing it to shake.
"Inoue! Inoue please! Please let me in!" He continued to bang on her door. His voice was steadily becoming desperate with worry.
Orihime curled into a ball in the corner of her room, hugging her trembling body close to her legs as she covered her ears and rocked herself slowly. She couldn't bear to hear his pleading voice.
Ichigo had banged on Orihime's door until his knuckles were rubbed raw. He had shouted until his voice had become rough and hoarse. Forcing the last of the words he could muster, his voice sounding raspy, he had called through her door telling her that he wasn't leaving until she let him in.
He'd let himself slump against the door, watching as daylight turned to dusk, and dusk turned into night. He had no idea how much time had passed, but the next thing he knew he was being shaken roughly.
His eyes squinted blearily in the daylight, noticing a blurry figure standing over him.
"..go….Ichigo!"
He rubbed his eyes hard with the heels of his palms that felt ice cold. He rubbed his hands together, the friction causing them to warm slightly as his eyes came into focus.
The first thing he noticed was the violet eyes that were flaring down at him with a mixture of anger and anxiety. He felt himself being shaken again as the person in front of him became impatient with how long he was taking to come around.
"Ichigo! Wake up right now!" Ichigo felt himself cringe away at the volume of the voice.
"Geez, shut up already I'm up." Ichigo looked around to get his bearings. Why was he half sitting half lying on the cold concrete of an apartment landing? He scratched his head as he propped himself up on the wall behind him.
Rukia's death grip on his jacket began to shake with her impatience. She felt her teeth grit as she scowled.
"Ichigo! What the hell happened? Tell me right now what is wrong with Inoue!" Ichigo returned her scowl whilst looking confused.
"Huh? What're you…" Ichigo's hand paused at the back of his head, his eyes opened wide as everything came back to him. He scrambled to his feet in a matter of seconds, catching Rukia by surprise who stumbled, nearly tripping over him. She released her grip on him and used her hands to catch herself against the wall before she fell over.
Ichigo turned towards Orihime's door, immediately moving to bang his fist against it. He flinched as the forgotten injury on his knuckles burned from the raw skin.
"She's not in there." He froze in place as the steady words of his friend reached his ears. Quickly searching he realised that she was right. Orihime's reiatsu was no longer within range of his new sensing capabilities.
He whipped around to face Rukia, his scowl still in place but worry pooling heavily in the pit of his stomach.
Ichigo swallowed thickly. "Where is she?"
Rukia surveyed him. She wanted him to explain the situation to her first, but she could tell by his desperate and angry expression that the explanation would have to wait.
She released a calming breath, "She's at Urahara's. She's been there for a while." Ichigo silently turned on the spot, striding towards the steps that would lead him down to the street below. "Ichigo, she's asked Urahara to open the senkaimon gate," she paused, "she's going to Soul Society."
Ichigo felt himself turn to stone, his head slowly turned to face her, his eyes wide in shock. "Wh-what? What do you mean she's going to Soul Society?"
"I mean exactly that. Ichigo. I don't know what's going on, but Inoue was a mess when I saw her before. All she said to me was, "Tell Kurosaki-kun that I am sorry." Ichigo…what happened?" Rukia groaned anxiously. She hated not knowing what was going on with her friends, especially when it was obviously something so serious.
Ichigo turned once more, this time his strides had broke into a run. Rukia faltered before regaining her composure and jumped over the railing of the apartment complex to land right in front of her human companion who had just reached the street below. She frowned deeply at him.
Opening her mouth to scorn him, he cut her off. "Please Rukia, this can wait. I need to get to Inoue right now!" He was scowling but his eyes pleaded with her. Rukia felt her stance soften. Giving in she stepped to the side.
He ran straight past her, his destination set, his time limited.
It took him just under five minutes to reach the Urahara shop. He ran at a break neck speed, shouting apologies to people as he carelessly rushed into them.
If Inoue has been there for a while already then the gate will almost be open. Ichigo cursed under his breath as he made his way through the shop, then down the stairs to the underground training room.
In the distance he could see two figures conversing before the gaping black hole that was the senkaimon gate. He instantly recognised Orihime's long auburn locks that flowed down her back. Her head was bowed as Urahara spoke to her, his hat shadowing his eyes, his expression solemn.
As he came to a stop, Urahara looked up as he Ichigo came into his line of sight. Orihime flinched as she felt Ichigo's flaring reiatsu reach her.
Ichigo bent his back slightly, gripping his knee's as he fought to catch his breath.
"Inoue…what are you doing?" His voice was still hoarse from his shouting the previous day. He ignored the ache in his throat, determined to be heard.
She didn't reply. Her body stood stock still, the colour of her hair and her outfit contrasting against the swirling black abyss that was open in front of her.
He tried again. "Inoue. Where are you going? What are you doing?"
Knowing that he wasn't going to give up without an answer, she finally replied. "I'm going to Soul Society….to train with Hirako-kun."
Her voice sounded cold, distant…unlike anything he had ever heard from her before.
He laughed nervously. "Inoue…don't be silly. Just come back over here and we can talk about this. I'm sorry I haven't been there like I said I would be. But I promise, things will be different now."
Silence followed his pleading words.
Urahara pulled his hat down and stepped to the side as if to give them some privacy.
In the back of his mind Ichigo was begging her to turn around, he wanted to see her face. It was selfish but he always felt some sort of comfort when he looked at her.
He was determined to help her. "Inoue if you go, you know that I'm just going to go after you."
He heard her sigh, as if she was annoyed and it caused him to flinch. "Kurosaki-kun, you won't be able to. I've already discussed that possibility with Urahara-san." Orihime's voice stayed emotionless, her words like a statement.
Ichigo turned to Urahara now who was stood by a rock to the side.
Urahara avoided Ichigo's eyes, his own were darkened by the shadow cast by the brim of his hat.
"Kurosaki-san, I'm afraid that I can't let you follow Inoue-san. You know how serious her situation is, therefore at this point what she wants is first priority to help her get through this."
Ichigo scowled at him.
Did they think that he would get in the way? Did they think that he wanted anything but to help her?
He returned his gaze to the back of Orihime. "I'll go to Soul Society even without your help, I'll find a way."
Orihime spoke again, her voice sounding slightly angry now. "Don't follow me."
Ichigo felt his teeth grit together, his own voice pleading now. "Then don't walk away from me."
Silence followed. Urahara waited patiently at the sidelines, his eyes closed as he bore witness to scene in front of him.
Orihime felt a tear finally fall down her face. She swallowed hard as she tried to keep her voice from breaking. "Goodbye Kurosaki-kun."
Ichigo took a sharp intake of breath as he saw her step into the pitch black hole. Just as she disappeared he heard her final whispered words.
"I'm sorry."
And I can live without you but,
Without you I'll be miserable at best.
A/N: :( It made me sad to even write this. But I hope I wrote this right.
