You showed me the colors of the rainbow

You showed me a beautiful dream

But now that you awakened me to this nightmare

I realize you played me for a fool

And I just got my heart ripped out again

CHAPTER 46 -... And I Just Got My Heart Ripped Out Again.

Olli came home that night to an empty flat and a message from Cecelia stuck to the fridge door

Dear Olli,

Guess what?

Lukas and Nadja came home engaged!

They wanted to celebrate so we had to leave quickly.

Sorry we didn't wait.

We couldn't wait as Lukas had made reservations for 8o'clock at the Blue Meridian.

We'll get dessert for you, I promise.

Kuss

Cecelia

Olli prepared himself a ham sandwich and washed it down with a glass of cold chocolate milk.

Close to midnight his flat mates returned reeking of spirits and in high spirits.

Olli was saddened to see that unlike always Cecelia too had forgotten all about him and her promise.

The icing on this day of heartbreak and disappointments was Lukas' retraction into full blown gay bashing once again.

"Oh look the fairy is home. Read any new munchkin stories," were the words he used to greet Olli as soon as he came in through the door of the flat.

"Stop it Lukas what's wrong with you?" Nadja said shocked at her boyfriend's comment.

"Nothing ! I'm just pulling his fairy wings." Lukas said and laughed at his own horrid joke.

Olli briskly walked into his room controlling the tears that threatened to spill.

Next morning Olli left the flat at the crack of dawn he knew he wouldn't be able to face any of his flat mates without bursting into tears.

That night as he was on a club crawl with his colleague Kitty he met Bernny.

Bernny saw his long face and offered him relief in the form of a miniscule blue pellet.

Olli had a great night and thoroughly enjoyed himself; though the next morning he couldn't remember most of it.

Olli's only sanctuary was Gast84 whom he chatted with everyday without fail. For those couple of hours Olli felt a little happier and he felt wanted because the boy on the other end seemed to genuinely care about Olli's wellbeing and Olli's opinions.

One day suddenly outta the blue his net friend sent him a request for a photograph.

Gast84: After learning so much about you, I'd really love to know what you look like. Would you mind exchanging pics?

Olli got a bit scared but then thought *Whatever, whoever, wherever Gast84 maybe, he couldn't possibly be any worse than Lukas*

Halunke: Sure I don't mind. But you'll have to wait a bit while I find a decent one. But I'll send it only if you're sending your pic as well.

Gast 84 : I'm uploading mine as we speak.

Olli riffled through his photos and scanned a picture that had been taken for a distemper paint brochure. It was his best shot. He himself loved that particular one and hoped his net friend would like it as well.

As the picture cleared Olli smiled at what he saw.

He quickly typed a response to Gast84

Halunke: Oh My! You're adorable.

What the boy typed back in response caused Olli to blush and made his heart sing.

Gast84: Thank you. But I'm nothing compared to you. You're stunning!

Then a sudden thought struck Olli.

The boy looked underage so he hurriedly typed.

Halunke: How old are you? 12!?

Gast84: Of course not! I'm 18 I start college in a couple of months.

Relieved that his friend was an adult he sighed in relief and went into flirt mode.

Halunke: So you have a name that goes with that adorable face.

He asked and patiently waited for a response quiet sure that the boy wouldn't divulge his name but was taken aback when his laptop beeped and he saw the three word reply on screen.

Gast84: I'm Justus Berger.

Olli mentally gave kudos to the kid for his bravery but Olli himself didn't have the guts to reveal his name so he answered with a fictional introduction.

Halunke: Nice to meet you Justus. I'm Florian Mansbrun.

Days turned into weeks and Lukas' behavior only got worse. As if name calling wasn't enough Lukas had landed up at Schneider's with a group of his pilot buddies and humiliated him. Thankfully his aunt Charlie's manager Angelo had heard Lukas and his buddies comments so he had the toughest looking waiters in Schneider cordially escort Lukas and his passé off the premises after slapping a ban on them.

This incident sparked off full on war from Lukas's end.

The next evening Olli came home to find his room in an utter mess and his laptop smashed to bits.

That night Olli cried for the first time, but it wasn't for Lukas but for the loss of his only friend Justus.

Thankfully Cecelia had witnessed Lukas's behavior so she threatened him with legal action and got him to replace Olli's laptop.

The atmosphere in the flat share now rivaled that of the Ice Age.

The only one not bothered by any of it was Bernny who was usually high or sozzled so he didn't notice a thing.

Olli was quietly sitting eating his breakfast when Nadja came in with the morning mail.

She flipped thru the letters then opened one of them

"Oh My God! I don't believe it." Nadja joyfully shrieked.

"What happened sweet heart?" Lukas asked as he came hurrying out of their room pulling on a t-shirt.

"You remember that job I had applied for in Hamburg."

"Yah the job for the news caster." Lukas completed

"I got it."

"That's...that's incredible." The man said enthusiastically and hugged his girlfriend.

"When do you have to join?" he asked with a grin

"In two weeks." she answered with a shriek.

"That's fantastic! You're unbelievable you know that, don't you?"

"But what about you?" Nadja asked sadly as she pulled out of the hug.

"Hey I'm a courier pilot. I'll just put in for a transfer to Hamburg no big deal."

"Oh I love you Lukas." She hugged him again.

"I love you more." Lukas answered and kissed Nadja, making a show of it as if rubbing it in Olli's face, who picked up his bowl of cereal and slunk off to his room.

As the couple excitedly packed for their departure Olli couldn't take it anymore and finally broke his silence.

One evening a few days before the couple planned to leave Olli found himself alone with Lukas in the flat so building up courage he cornered the older man.

"Are you really leaving?" the younger man demanded

"Of course!" the pilot exclaimed "Anyway what's it to you?" he spat at Olli..

"How long are you going to keep lying to yourself and to everyone else?" Olli vehemently questioned him.

"Lying about what?" Lukas asked playing dumb.

"About the night we made love. I know you felt it too." Olli elaborated.

"Love? You call that perverted experiment 'love'?" Lukas hissed at him

"It wasn't an experiment Lukas." Olli said with conviction.

"Oh it was an experiment Olli." Lukas said with a look of disgust.

"You're lying. Tell the truth." Olli soldiered on with his demand.

"You wanna know the truth." Lukas asked in a soft but dangerous tone.

"Yes, it's time you faced the truth." Olli said jabbing Lukas in the chest.

"No, it's time you faced the truth you little shit." Lukas growled.

Grabbing Olli by the throat he slammed the leaner man up against the wall and growled with blood on his mind "I didn't say anything coz I wanted to spare your feelings. But now that you wanna know the truth here it is - That was by far the most disgusting experience of my life." Lukas said and banged Olli head back against the wall "You get that you little sick shit."

"It was the most gruesomely disgusting experience of my life. After it was all over I went and threw up." Lukas continued giving Olli a back handed slap across his face giving him a bloody lip.

Flinging Olli on the floor the larger man kicked him "Then I scrubbed myself till I was raw coz I couldn't get that sticky gay stench that you left behind on my body. SO according to me nothing happened that night."

Grabbing Olli by the front of his shirt Lukas picked him off the floor before landing a punch on the younger man sending him sprawling on the floor again, leaving him with a bleeding nose "and you so much as breathe a word of this to anyone especially Nadja then I'll rip you limb from limb. Now stay the hell away from me you little faggot."

With a final kick to Olli's stomach he left the brunette lying on the floor.

"I'm so going to miss you." Cecelia said between sniffles.

"Oh baby we'll talk on the phone and online all the time." Nadja said hardly able to control her own tears.

"But it won't be the same." Cecelia sobbed.

"I know but hey maybe you'll get that teaching job in Hamburg and then we'll hang out together again."

"Oh I so hope so." the girls hugged.

Lukas gave Cecelia a kiss shook Bernny's hand and got into the taxi.

After giving Cecelia a final hug Nadja too slipped into the taxi and shut the door.

Olli stood at his bedroom window and watched Lukas leave Düsseldorf all smiles and kisses.

He felt his heart being cut out of his chest with a very blunt knife.

Secluded in his room Olli watched the taxi as it drove away.

"What's wrong with you Olli?" Cecelia hissed at him after she came back up into the flat.

"You didn't even have the common decency to come down and wish them a safe journey."

"I can't handle goodbyes Cecelia. I would have cried and anyway I wouldn't have been able to handle anymore of Lukas's fag jokes."

"I still think you're selfish." Cecelia flung at him.

"Screw you Cecelia." Olli stormed into his room and slammed the door behind him.

"Olli can I ask you something." Cecelia gently enquired later in the evening.

"What?" Olli flung at her.

"You and Lukas were fine until Nadja went to Hamburg. Did something happen after he came back from his cancelled assignment?" she as tactfully as possible.

"Yah, we slept together." Olli informed her blandly.

"You did WHAT?" Cecelia shrieked

"I slept with him." Olli slowly said again and hung his head in shame.

"So he's the one who hit you." Cecelia quickly concluded

"Yah He said he'd kill me if I told anyone especially Nadja."

"Bloody bastard." Nadja hissed thru gritted teeth.

"I left myself open to this. You warned me, Charlie warned me but even then I had to go and confess to him. I'm so stupid and I'm definitely sick."

The both sat in thoughtful silence.

"Lukas is the sick one. You know that don't you? He's the one who took advantage of you and he did it on purpose. He's the sick one." Cecelia said to Olli.

Olli nodded and laid his head on her shoulder.

Cecelia put her arm around him and hugged him as the tears finally came.

After Cecelia had left for her date Bernny approached Olli two glasses of liquor in hand,

"So Lukas was the guy, Huh?" Bernny asked as he handed Olli a shot of whisky

"Yah," Olli answered

"He's not worth it man. Cheer up." Bernny said trying to lift Olli's spirits.

Bernny dug into his pocket and pulled out a tiny packet.

"Here take this. It'll make it all better." Bernny soothed holding up a blue pill.

"I was hoping you'd have one on you." Olli plucked the pill out of Bernny's hand, putting it in his mouth he washed it down with a gulp of his drink.

"We both have the weekend off how about we go and raise some hell and forget all our troubles." Bernny cajoled and chugged down the whisky in his glass at one go.

"I'm game." Olli agreed enthusiastically.

Olli finished the rest of his drink and they headed out of the flat.