Chapter 8: Broken Sunsets

Alice had gone home before the annual Pine Dance started. She was not feeling up to dancing. Bella could not blame her but she was disappointed. She knew Mason would insist they go with out Alice and Jasper. He would not understand the significant of this dance a nd how it would affect her. How it would make her remember times in her life when this particular dance had brought some happy and sad memories with it. She knew that Alice would have helped her keep her mind off of it.

When she was thirteen years old she had been allowed to stay for the full time of the dance. She had felt so grown up. She had spent most of it in the corner wishing she could dance like the other young girls. Then when she turn fifteen she had actually danced for the first time with a partner who was not her father. It had been of course Jacob who had pulled her out on the dance floor. The music was a slow song. He kept insisting that anyone could slow dance with out making a fool of themselves. She had been so terrified that she might prove him wrong.

His hands had stayed firmly on each side of her waist. He put her hands up so they circled around his neck. She stared straight at his broad chest. She could not think. She was so sure she would make a fool of them both. Then he began to take small steps as her hips rock gently back and forth. With in half of the song she finally opened her eyes to see that she was actually dancing. She looked like all the other girls. Except when she lifted her head she saw that Jacob was staring at her in away that the other guys were not looking at their partners. His eyes were wide and dark. His lips curled into a seductive grin.

Her heart rate had escalated. He was definitely looking at her unlike the friendly looks she was accustom to. What was wrong with him? She felt a incredible urge to run, to escape his arms at once. Something was happening between them. Something that neither of them had planned. Something that looked an awful like he was going to try and kiss her. When his head leaned in closer to her face she found herself feeling like she was floating on air. The thought of his lips pressing against hers made her stomach do flip flops. She felt a strong desire to press up closer to him.

It felt so natural to be in his arms. To feel this dizzy with happiness. To know that when he kissed her the world would never be the same for them. Slowly her eyes had opened up to see that his lips were so close to hers that she could feel and smell his breathe on her face. Her eyes locked on his satiny pink lips as her tongue slid out to moisten her own lips.

Any second their mouths would join. The friends who often hugged, held hands and kissed on the cheek were about to share a more intimate connection. Were they ready for this? Was she ready for this? Sliding her tongue back into her mouth she bit the tip of it as tears stung the back of her eyes. She knew that she enjoyed his friendship. She knew she trusted him far more than any other guy she had ever known but to become something far more personal and delicate with him was a scary path. If it did not work out would she loose her best friend and her boyfriend in one swift moment?

The very thought of loosing him altogether from her life was enough of an adrenaline rush for her to release her hands from the warmth of his neck as they grazed the front of his chest before she took a big step away from him. She watched as he opened his hazy eyes to stare at her with utter confusion clearly all over his face.

"What's wrong?" Jacob whispered.

"We are." Bella mumbled before turning on her heel and fleeing from the dance floor and out of the dance altogether. She ran as fast as her feet would take her, until her chest burn so badly that she thought she might vomit everywhere. She knew she had just made a stupid scene in front of practically the whole town and everyone they ever knew but she could not, no would not allow herself to take any risk that might cause her to loose her Jacob forever. She just prayed that he came to his senses later and would agree with her how silly they both had been to almost ruin a good thing they had over some stupid hormonal teenage moment.

Jacob had found her later sitting by the side of the road panting as she tried to catch her breathe.

"What happen back there? Why did you run? Was my breathe that bad?" Jacob cried out as he caught up with her with out loosing breathe. She was always impressed with how in shape he was .

"Nothing happened. I just needed some fresh air. Your breathe…well…you could use a mint." Bella hoped she sound playful enough while deep inside she wanted to weep. She wanted to go home, sit at her desk and write down all her thoughts about the near kiss between her and Jake.

"Seriously?" Jake cupped his hand placing it over his mouth. Bella rolled her eyes as he smelled his own breathe then frown at her.

"It smells fine." Jake rolled his eyes at her.

"Good to know." Bella laughed lightly as she turn starting to walk in the direction of her house.

"Where you going? The dance is the other way?" Jacob stated with a comical look on his face.

"I know where the dance is, Jake. I am tired. Want to go home." Bella replied as she turn away from him putting each foot in front of her, hoping he would go back to the dance.

"Oh. Well, I will walk you home then." Jacob offered as he grabbed her hand, holding it in his. Bella normally would not have thought of it at all but after the near kiss she was starting to think that perhaps Jake was hoping for more of a deeper connection between them. When had they changed exactly? When had he grown more attached to her? Where in the world had she been when Jacob Black had fallen in love with her? When had he crossed the line?

"I can manage." Bella snorted as she started to pull her hand away from his warm smooth touch.

"I know but I like making sure your safe." Jacob kept his grip around her hand.

"Okay." Bella mumbled as she picked up her pace. She had to hurry and get home. This was incredibly weird.

"So did you see Embry with Jessica tonight. She looked like she was going to jump his bones." Jake laughed as he watched her face closely.

"Yeah, she did seem a bit intense." Bella laughed. It was true Jessica was definitely head over heels for Embry but they both knew that Embry only hoped for one thing with his hook up with Jessica and it was not a life long commitment like she was dreaming about.

"Intense? She was practically begging for him to take her out back." Jacob snorted.

"I hope she comes to her senses. It would be such a stupid thing to do." Bella replied as she looked away.

"Her. What about poor Embry? He is the one who would have to reveal to everyone that he lost his virginity to Jessica. How incredibly uncool is that. I mean sure she is pretty enough but she is like a total control freak. Yuck." Jacob shivered making Bella giggled.

It was nice to know that one guy in the crowd was not head over heels for the girl who had grown breasts before the other girls had. Jessica felt superior to the rest of the female population just because she had been a early bird physically. She was also pretty damn smart. It irked Bella how one girl could be blessed with a great body, good looks and a brain. It made her look pretty dull next to girls like Jessica.

"Your telling me that if she offered to make you the same offer you would not take it?" Bella cocked an eye as she looked up at him. She knew that Jessica had a thing for Jacob. She had made it quite clear on more than one occasion to Bella. It had annoyed her but she had remained silent about it. She could not afford to let Jessica know that it bothered her or she would only use it as a weapon.

"Hell no! My first time is going to be special. It's going to be with the most perfect woman ." Jacob cried out furiously.

"Oh. Is there really such a thing as a perfect woman?" Bella laughed as they walked up her driveway.

"I believe there is. Your pretty perfect." Jacob announced as Bella caught the way his tone had dropped slightly. His body seemed tensed as he led her next to her father's patrol cruiser. Pressing her back against the vehicle he stared down into her eyes. Bella literally gasp as his hands cupped her face.

"What is wrong with you?" Bella asked softly as her eyes widen with fear. She knew that this time he was going to kiss her and she was not going to be able to run away from him.

"Nothing is wrong with me Bella. It's you. It's always been you." Jacob whispered as he stared hard into her eyes.

"Me? What about me?" Bella's hands circled around his wrists hoping to pry them away from her face.

"I've wanted to do this for so long. I've tried to wait until you could see it too." Jacob answered with a deep moan.

"See what?" Bella pulled at his arms but they would not budge.

"See that we are good together. See how perfect we BOTH are together." Jacob stated as his lips grazed her lips. It felt like a soft flower being brush against her closed mouth. Her breathe was stuck in her lungs.

Warm, slick, tender, he kissed her. Bella felt high as a kite. Her whole body zinged with excitement. Her first real kiss had been better than any fantasy she had ever cooked up.

"I knew it would feel perfect, " he murmured near her lips as he paused, foreheads heavy against each other, "just like you." His nose slid against hers as he dipped to kiss her again.

Another round of fireworks went blaring around in her head, shooting off in places in her body that had been dormant until this moment.

When he finally set her away from him, just as carefully as he drawn her near, Bella opened her eyes at last. She had to blink a few times to focus, and was thrilled to see that like her he was in a complete dreamy like state.

"Good night, Jake." She heard herself say as she stepped away, still holding his hand. Her palm, then fingers, then the very tips of them, slid through his grip as he released her.

Bella found Mason staring at her with sincere confusion that she had to literally shake her head a few times to shove the far away memories from her mind. She realized that she must have spaced out as she had allowed herself to walk down memory lane. She knew from plenty of past experience that memory lane could often bring her pain.

"I'm sorry." Bella instantly apologized.

"For what? For standing there watching the dancers dancing around us while you stared off into a dark unknown place?" Mason chuckled bitterly.

"I'm sorry Mason. It's just that…well…It's not my first time to be at this dance." Bella replied with a sarcastic snicker.

"I see. I guess you were remembering your past." Mason did not seem too pleased to learn about this.

"Yes, I was." Bella admitted honestly. She was not going to pretend that none of this was having the slightest affect on her. It was killing her slowly.

"I'm going to go get a drink." Mason announced as he marched away from her.

Bella felt her heart crack. It was so wrong of her to let him believe that they had some sort of long term future with one another. She knew she loved him and she knew that right now at the moment she wanted to be with him but in terms of long range she had no clue what she wanted.

Rubbing her forehead she prayed that Mason would want to return to their room shortly. She was not sure how much more of her past she could face today. Seeing Jake with Rosalie and her son today was hard enough. Knowing that he had someone else who loved him caused such conflicting emotions. The fact that he had a close relationship with Rosalie's son also bothered her more than she wanted to consider. The boy looked close to the age of what their child would have been if the pregnancy had not gone badly.

She knew it was stupid and selfish to even go down this path. Jake deserved to be happy. He deserved to have children in his life. He would make a great dad someday. He would also be a wonderful husband to the right woman. The perfect woman. The woman she would never be.

Jacob had found himself dancing with Rosalie, smiling like he had no problems in the world. Although he found himself looking around the crowded room for a glimpse of Bella. He suspected that she would have brought Mason in here. It was the perfect ending to a fun filled Pine Festival day. It was also traditional.

Paul approached them as they made their way back to the small table where Rosalie had placed their drinks.

"Hey there you two." Paul smiled as he walked up with a tall brunette female on his arm.

Jacob could not imagine where Paul had found this particular girl. She was not one of Fork's well known citizens and she definitely was not from the Indian Reservation. So he was intrigued by the newcomer.

"Hi Paul." Rosalie gave Jake a knowing look as she smiled politely at the both of them.

"Hey Paul." Jake replied as he nodded his head at the couple.

"Guys, this is my friend, Melody. She lives in Port Angeles. She came down to see our annual Pine Festival. She heard some of the finest men were from this area." Paul strutted as he flashed them a smug smile.

Rosalie covered her mouth with her hand as she coughed. Jake bit down on the skin in the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing in Paul's face. He knew it would only hurt his already swollen ego, so he decided to play along with the game.

"We only have the finest." Jake agreed as he winked at Rosalie.

"I have to say there are plenty of eye candies in the area." Melody answered as she gazed hungrily up and down Jake's muscular frame. Rosalie frowned at the woman's bluntness. She looked at Jake who showed the woman no interest and calmed down instantly.

"Well, if you have a sweet tooth you might try Sue's Taffy, it's the finest in the county." Rosalie suggested as she picked up her drink sipping on it.

Jake fought back the urge to laugh. He knew Rosalie was not enjoying this woman's open appraisal of him. It did not bother him in the least. They both knew he looked for more than beauty in a woman. He wanted far more than a beautiful empty shell. He wanted the full package. If a woman had no depth then her beauty had no true value in his eyes.

"It is good." Paul stated as he smiled warmly at Melody.

Jake and Rosalie caught how it was lost on Paul that he was not the only interesting male she was noticing.

"Let's go get some." Melody suggested as she gave them a curt smile before dragging Paul away.

"Well, that was interesting." Rosalie snorted with a sarcastic grin on her face.

"He has to start looking outside of town these days. After all I think he has gone through every available woman in town." Jake answered as he sat down across from Rosalie.

"Unavailable as well from what I hear." Rosalie added with a disgusted smile.

"Seriously?" Jake cringe at the thought of some angry husband chasing Paul's stupid ass out of town with a shot gun.

"Seriously." Rosalie nodded with a sad look in her eye.

"What's bothering you?" Jake had picked up on some unresolved issue tonight. He knew that she had not been too please to run into Bella today at the festival but he felt like he had handle it well enough. He had shown no real interest in Bella. Although every ounce of him wanted to shout at her boyfriend, Mason, to leave town and stay the fuck away from his Bella. Instead he had refrained from any violence. He knew it would look unprofessional and well, pretty damn immature. It was not like he had much room to yell at Bella. After all he had not been a monk since she had abandoned him.

"It was so weird seeing her today. I mean, I always imagined her in my mind but she was unlike what I had expected." Rosalie replied openly and honestly.

"What did you expect?" Jake asked curiously as he drank his beer.

"I expected her to be taller for one thing." Rosalie laughed softly. Jake joined her. Rosalie was nearly as tall as he was.

"She is pretty but …I don't know…ordinary perhaps. I thought she would be this erotic goddess that no man could turn away from." Rosalie answered.

Jake nearly choked on his beer. It was such a stupid idea that his Bella would look anything remotely like what she described. How could she have pictured such a woman even existed. Then he looked at her and understood. Rosalie was unique looking. She was a ex model. No wonder she expected Bella to be as sensually beautiful as herself or even better.

What Rosalie did not see was the way Bella looked when she laughed or hell even cried. She had away of smiling at you that made a person feel all warm and gooey inside. It was the sound of her laughter, the way her hips swayed when she marched away angry, or the way she twirled her hair as she read a book that had drawn him into her beauty. It was looking at her from the inside out that made Bella far more beautiful than any other woman he had ever known. Rosalie might have the physical side of beauty but she had a lot to learn still about inner beauty. She was not exactly a vain and shallow person but there were many moments in their relationship that he had been shocked by her behavior or reaction to something.

"There is far more to Bella than a physical attraction." Jake answered as he laughed at her.

"What do you mean?" Rosalie rested her chin on the palm of her hand as she listened closely to Jake's explanation.

"Bella has this way of making you feel alive. She is down to earth. She is simply so natural in every thing she did or said that you knew that there was not one evil thing about her. I mean, sure she was clumsy as hell, she often drove me crazy with her nagging and yes, she even hurt me with her rejection but ultimately Bella knows how to be a true friend. Or at least she did once." Jake exhaled deeply as he found himself almost falling back into the pattern where he would go on and on talking about Bella. He knew that was not cool to do with his current girlfriend no matter how much she insisted it did not bother her.

After the night he informed her of Bella's return, she had sent him home immediately after he began to cry and go off about how much he had missed his wife. He saw that night in her eyes the true depth of her feelings for him. Rosalie cared more for him than she let on, maybe even more than she knew herself.

"I guess your ready to forgive her and move on now." Rosalie looked at him with a coy expression as she twirled her fingers around the neck of the beer bottle.

"I am definitely ready to forgive. I mean, what is the point of holding on to this grudge. After seeing her again I know that it is stupid to hate her for being herself. She wanted something I did not. I guess I have to understand that I possibly put her in a position she did not feel comfortable in." Jake shrugged his shoulders as he glanced around once again for any evidence of her arriving at the dance.

"I hope you forget too. I mean, it's time to let the past go. It's time to live in the now." Rosalie leaned back in the white whicker seat and smiled warmly at him.

"I am living in the now." Jake argued.

"No your not. Right now you are probably remembering the last time the two of you were together here at this very dance." Rosalie answered.

"What?" Jake felt his face turn slightly red. It was true when he first stepped inside the large pavilion dance area he had found himself remembering that this was the place he had started to give Bella her first kiss before she had fled the dance. He had chased after her, their first kissed did happen this very night 8 years ago but it was in her driveway.

"Come on Jake, don't lie." Rosalie looked pissed as she wrapped her arms around her chest.

"Okay, it's true. I did recall that eight years ago tonight we, Bella and I shared our first kiss." Jake answered with a frustrated glare toward her. He hated when she push his buttons. She knew he did not like being pushed yet she did it anyways.

"See, how hard was that?" Rosalie chuckled bitterly as she picked up her beer and guzzled it down.

"Not hard at all for me." Jake replied as he stared at her, spotting the hurt in her eyes immediately.

"Let's dance." Rosalie sighed heavily as she jumped up.

Jake was about to agree with her when he saw Bella leaning against the railing off in a corner. It was typical of her to be hiding off in a semi darken area. When would she learn that the corner was the last place she belonged.

"Sure." Jake agreed but when he turn to reach out for Rosalie he saw she was already walking away from him with her shoulders slouching in frustration. He growled deeply as he pick up his beer and guzzled the rest of it. Apparently Rosalie had caught him staring at Bella. He knew there would be hell to pay for this. He stood there debating on whether he should follow Rosalie now and grovel at her feet or allow her to go home and cool off before he attempted to make a peace treaty.

Looking back and forth between Rosalie and Bella he was torn. Which woman would he go after? Which one did he have a better shot at not pissing totally off? He feared he might be going up against a loosing battle either path he took. So he walked down the center of the dance, straight to the bartender instead. At least this was one path he knew where it would lead and how it would end.