Hello peoples! Im so sorry it took a while, but like I said I had a busy weekend. I worked a lot so i couldnt get to do anything. But wow.. This chapter, I was shaking when I was typing it. You may see why. I hope you all really enjoy this, because I did. Its not the thing Im excited about, but its helping me lead up to it. Haha. Please let me know what you think, I swear I could feel their emotions running through me myself. :D Enjoy and I will update soon. Im tired. I had to finish this well into the AM time. woohh! (It still annoys me how smaller it seems on here... Lol. 9 pages on my micorsoft... .)
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School was dragging on, and Serena was getting impatient. The pre-exams were torturous, and the studying, well forget it. She wasn't having it. Surprisingly on her literature essay she passed the pre-exam. The whole day she spent beaming a toothy smile at anyone who got a lower score than her. Amy of course, beat them all so she tried her best to stay away from Amy when she showed off. Rei and the others just let Serena have her moment of 'smart glory'. Even though Serena was ecstatic about her paper, she still had to pass the semester exams, and once a teacher reminder her, she kind of kept quiet about her paper. The one person she wanted to rub it in their face was Seiya, but he had missed school for a few days. Once Serena realized that it's been a few days of absence, she began to worry. He was at school the whole week before and now, one week till Christmas, and exams being in a few days, she hoped he wasn't really sick or anything. She had planned on doing some shopping this afternoon so she figured she would drop by to see him.
The girls for a bit have been bothering her about her and Seiya's relationship. She tried to calm them down and not to worry, nothing was happening. But even she knew something was changing, she just hoped it wasn't love. She was scared and still hurting from Darien. She was getting frustrated at them for their pushy-ness on her and Darien re-uniting. For all she knew, he could be back in America. He wanted nothing to do with her and frankly, she didn't want to be near someone who had such a negative attitude towards her. Her nights were long and lonely. As for her dreams, not as sweet and yummy as the used to be. Sometimes she found herself back in a dark room, others she watched Darien walk away from her and her whole past and future fall apart. Those are the scariest, dreaming of Rini never being born, her never becoming queen and her kingdom being destroyed. Luna had to wake her up a lot too; she would yell out, cry, and talk in her sleep.
Every day that passed, and as the temperature would drop along with the forming snow clouds, it would make her shiver in fear of never having her life back. She hasn't seen Rini in a while, and it did worry her. But she figured Trista would be knocking on her door if the future was in danger like that. Some relief for Serena, but in the long run, she knew she would always remember this time and feared more and more it would affect her and Darien's future relationship.
Once school let out, she ran home quickly and changed to something more comfortable and warmer. The weather forecasted snow at some point today so she wanted to be ready for that. A long dark red sweater, some leggings and fuzzy shoes, she was ready to go.
"Oh yeah, I look good!" she laughed at herself in the mirror. She could see Luna shaking her head behind her. She gave Luna a quick pat, grabbed her shoulder purse and headed out the door.
'I'm glad I've been saving money since my birthday, and since I'm not getting anything special for Darien now, I can do more for others.' Serena did feel a twinge of hurt with that thought. She really had been planning since June to do something nice for Darien, but of course, now that's impossible. She shook her head to push him out of her mind and just focus on her task to get some Christmas presents today… and to try her best not to buy anything for herself.
…
A few hours have passed and the evening was quickly approaching. The city was looking beautiful. The tree was pretty mush complete but won't be lit until the eve of. People were out shopping for their loved ones, and children were window shopping and admiring and writing mental notes of what they want for this year. A lot of sales we're going on which was Serena's favorite now. She actually found a few things for a couple of the girls. She found Lita a special addition of a cook book from her favorite chef; Rei an oriental incense burner with glass phoenixes swirling about. Amy always just needs a gift card to a book store, but she got her a cute penguin holder for it. Mina was easy, a small beauty treatment package to help out when she needed to get ready for an audition. Of course, Serena wanted to give something for her outer scouts but they were a bit more difficult since she doesn't spend as much time with them as the others. She figured a couple of movie passes for Amara and Michelle since they love to go out together all the time. Trista and Hotaru are the hardest, but she thought maybe she'd just take them out for a dessert or café brunch so they could spend more time together. Of course, her biggest thing was trying to find something for Seiya. She was putting it off because since he never had a holiday like this she wanted it to be special. Back in her mind though, she was really wanting to give him the best gift more than anyone else she knew… almost as special as Darien's was supposed to be.
She carried only three bags, which she was thankful for. Shopping alone wasn't the best this year but t wasn't that bad. Plus is gave her time to think and to concentrate on others rather than making sure anyone she was with didn't see what she got them. She loved seeing white roses planted and the holly vines that wrapped stores and street lights. All of the shops were decorated and the windows with the best items to have this year and ideas for others. She passed by a small jeweler shop and a locket caught her eye. It was a simple heart locket but seeing the locket made her think of the one she had given to Darien. Her heart sank in her chest.
'Does he still have it? Did he throw it away?' That locket was a real symbol of their love and just the fact he and she are no longer together, it made her wonder if it still even played. She missed that locket. Her chest ached, wanting to have it back. He didn't deserve to hold onto to it anymore. She walked away from the window and crossed the street to a small music shop.
She wanted to see about music journals since she knew Seiya loved to make music, she was sure maybe he need something like this. Serena saw a bunch of journals, some plain, others elaborate and fancy looking to her.
"Can I help you?" a clerk came up to her. He was dressed in the music industry style but had on a pair of fake reindeer antlers for the occasion. He smiled at her warmly.
"Oh, I was just trying to see if I can find the right journal." She answered.
"You play anything?"
She laughed. "No way. I'm barely able to walk right without falling on my face." She glanced at them again. "It's for a special friend of mine. He means a lot and does a lot for me. I want to give him something he would love and actually use. But I can't find the right one. "
The clerk gave her an odd look.
"Oh, I wasn't saying anything isn't good here, I'm just unsure." She hated to hurt anyone's feelings. The clerk just laughed.
"He sounds like he's on your mind a lot."
Serena blushed a little. "He's just a really good friend of mine and he deserves to have a nice gift this year." The clerk gave her a huge smirk and beckoned her to follow him.
"I've got something for you." He walked with her to the front desk and took out a couple of items hidden on a self. "I haven't put these on the shelves yet due to the small amount I have and since they're a few piece set, I need to get a proper display kit." There was a small guitar pick that was made out of metal and then had a small hole at the top of it. Next, he grabbed a very modern, but classy book. Near the side there was almost like a lock on it. It was black with red embroidery at the corners. The center was a metal piece that was shaped of an oval but was blank.
"Wow, what is this?" she asked.
"This is music writer's dream. Whether you're composing music, writing lyrics or using it as a music log, it the best there is. See this metal guitar pick?" He picked it up and turned it over; it had design that matched the lock on the book. "This unlocks the book. No one can open it unless they have this pick. It can be used as the real deal for guitar players, and the few in the world that have this, wear it as a necklace." He placed it in Serena's hand. It felt light, but had weight to it. Not like your average plastic guitar pick. She was actually wowed by this.
"Wow, this is so nice. Can you open it for me?" she asked him and handed it back. The clerk matched it to the book and with a turn and she heard a light click, the book was opened. He let her open the book, and she saw the different pages. Some had the music lines, other sections were plain lined paper. The paper was thick and each page was numbered. It held about 350 pages all together. It was thick and she looked at the lock which seemed to be very complex. The clerk explained it can't be picked and if you try to break it open, you would be struggling to do so.
"What do you think?"
"Oh, I love it." She was actually amazed at this item. It was perfect for Seiya. Something he can use on and off stage.
"But there's more to it." He said. "See the metal part and the pick? You can get things engraved on here. I do engravings here for people who want stuff on the items whether it be instruments or the accessories."
"Really?" She felt this couldn't be true. It just matched everything. Something he loved and had a lot of meaning to it. But then she thought about the price. 'There's no way I can afford this.'
The clerk saw the smile fade from her. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing. This is just so perfect for him, but I know engraving things can be expensive and all. I don't have a lot to spend, I'm sorry."
The clerk smiled. "Tell me what were you going to spend on him? Honestly tell me."
"At the most? Maybe fifty." She answered.
"Done." He said.
"Excuse me?" shock hit her face.
"I see the look in your eyes, you really want to get him something special and I can see he means a lot to you just by the way your face lit up. Whatever engraving you want, on the pick and the notebook itself, with the note book, I'll take 50.00"
"No way, you're too kind I couldn't do that." She stuttered.
"Please…" he took out a piece of paper. "Write down what you want on each one."
"But—"
"One shot deal, Miss." He took out his hand. "Do we have a deal?"
Serena couldn't believe what she was getting for this. She shook the man's hand and she felt so good.
"Great! I'm glad I was able to help you get something special for him. I hope you'll bring him in one day, I'd love to meet the mystery musician who has captured your heart."
Her face turned red once again. "It's not like that."
"We'll see." He mumbled warmly.
Serena thought of something to put for the engraving and she actually was there for another twenty minutes trying to decide. 'That's it." She wrote it down and gave it to the clerk and he gave her a big satisfied smile. He told her to give twenty four hours, and that this one is his top priority. She gave him her information and she left the store feeling so good and happy.
She felt so excited and thought about how Seiya would react to such a gift. She shivered a little, feeling the night chill coming. The sun had set and she headed to Seiya's apartment to see how he was doing. The walk there took her another ten minutes, but she was so happy it didn't matter how tired she was from shopping. She came to his apartment and buzzed his suite number. There was no answer. She tried again and no one can to the speaker.
'Maybe he's recording.' She thought. Then out of the front door was Seiya's driver who noticed Serena.
"Hello, Miss Tsukino. Are you looking for Seiya?" she asked.
"Yeah, he hasn't been at school for a few days and I was hoping he wasn't sick or anything."
"He's been at the studio the past few days. He has a small concert in a week. He's doing a debut song for his solo career on Christmas Eve. I was on my way to go get him. Here, I'll take you upstairs where you can wait for him."
Serena let her take her to Seiya's apartment. She told Serena she would be back shortly and she would make her being here a secret for him.
Once she left Serena turned on a few lights; surprisingly he kept his place pretty nice. Then again, he may not be here a lot so there's not much to make a mess of. She walked over to the black leather couch that was huge. There was a small blanket on it. She sat down and covered herself a little. It was cold in here and outside was dropping each hour.
'He needs to turn his heat on.'
She left her bags by the door and just stretched out on the couch and starred at the slow spinning ceiling fan. She glanced around to the plain walls, the large screen TV and the few paintings on the wall. The room was plain and probably pre-furnished. It fit Seiya though. She closed her eyes, just wanting to rest them for a few minutes. Walking all evening made her tired. Before she knew it she fell asleep.
…..
Seiya came to his apartment and was startled by the few bags in the hallway. His driver didn't mention any bags or packages, but he figured it wasn't important. He was tired for being none stop at the studio. So many lyrics and music notes have been flying in his head the past few days, he needed to get it all out and written down. It was a stressful time too. Without having Taiki or Yaten here, he had to make the music and the lyrics, match it and then teach it to someone else who can play it at the upcoming show he has. He told them he would play only one song and for a good reason too. He was hoping to spend the holiday eve with Serena. His only problem was asking her to attend with him. Seiya has been watching her closely and although she tries hard, he can still see the hurt and pain in her eyes. They do not seem to sparkle as much as they did before. He wanted to be the one to make her happy again; to see that glow and to see her cheeks blush because of him. He was going to try, but not in a pushy way. But all in all, damn right he was going to.
He was about to go into his room when he saw someone on his couch. He freaked out for a second, and turned up the lights a bit more to see a sleeping Serena tucked under his blanket. He was shocked to see her here of all places.
'Those bags must be hers then.'
He walked over and saw her face. It wasn't relaxed, but seemed strained. A few drops of sweat were on her temples. She wasn't twitching or anything, but her face seemed like she was watching something horrible.
'She must not be sleeping well. That explains the slight shadow tone under eyes. Oh, Dumpling why do you let him hurt you there too. You don't deserve nightmares.'
Seiya carefully sat next to her on the couch, he wanted to wake her up, but was afraid of doing so. He just kept focus on her expressions, the way her body tensed up. Not one of them was anything positive.
"I want to help you. I want you to let me in and be here for you without fear." He talked out loud, but not loud enough to stir her awake. He took a quick inhale when a tear fell down her cheek. Her mouth opened like she was ready to talk.
"I gave it…to you…symbol of…true love…" another tear fell. "You broke it… broke me… why?" She sighed then. "Darien…why? Give…back to me. I want….all away."
Seiya felt hopeless. He wanted to go back into her mind and chase it all away, but that took a lot out of the both of them. All he could do was wipe away her tears. As soon as he did, she relaxed slightly. He touched her cheek again, this time with the back of his hand. Her fist relaxed and released. Seiya's heart was flying. He felt relieved that this was something that helped her relaxed.
"So warm… missed you…"
Seiya then was bewildered. 'Is she still talking about him?' He then traced his finger tips to her forehead, back down to her cheek, and then touched her lips gently. They were so soft. Even he blushed a little doing this.
"Want you..kiss me…" she whispered again in her sleep.
His eyes widened. His heart rate increased. 'I feel like she really is talking to me.'
Seiya kept touching her face, letting his finger tips stroke her cheeks more, her eyelids, her lips more, and traced down her neck a little.
"Dumpling, I wish you could know…" he whispered to her. He lowered his head, knowing he shouldn't, not when she's asleep. He couldn't help himself. He cuffed her cheek again, the tears were no more. His face was a few inches from hers. His thumb touched her lips again, still the same softness as a minute ago. The scent coming from her was so inviting. He knew better than to do this while she was asleep, but what could he do?
"I'm sorry, but I wish I could tell you when you're awake, but I'm afraid Dumpling." He smiled softly. "You're so sweet to everyone and you don't deserve to be heartbroken. I hope… One day you'll see me in a way that I want you." He gently, lightly, pressed his lips to hers. Not putting any pressure, just a light kiss to her. His heart was speeding, and his thoughts flying. He pulled back to look at the still sleeping Serena. He kept his hand on her cheek, and then he went and gently held her hand.
"I will try, Dumpling. I will try…" he whispered and closed his eyes. He could still feel her soft lips.
"Nice and warm…" Serena whispered in her sleep. "You came…missed you… wished for you… you came back…" she was smiling in her sleep now. Seiya smiled at her.
"I did, Dumpling. Whether or not you like it." He laughed a little.
"Saved me… you're warm… kind… I'm scared." It was like she was talking to him in her dream. At least Seiya pictured it that way.
"Don't be. I'm here. I'm never leaving." He thought it was funny talking to her like this. If only he could when she was awake.
"Mmmm…." She mumbled. "Don't ever… go… "
"Never, Dumpling." He kissed her forehead. He felt he needed to. She had to be seeing him in her dream.
"Again…"
He kissed her cheek, it was so warm. He felt so stupid for doing this, but he felt right in doing so.
"…again." She said.
Seiya kissed her nose, then her other cheek. He was nervous and shaking. His heart was ready to burst.
"Please..." she said to him.
Seiya then kissed her on the lips again, this time he put pressure, really feeling how soft she was. His hand held her shoulder, and the free one was balled into a fist. His body was conflicting on if this was right or wrong. 'It can't be wrong.' He kissed the corners of her lips, then just her bottom lip, and then kissed her whole again. His eyes remained closed as he did this. It felt he did this for ten minutes, but it was only a brief moment. He pulled back and was breathing slightly heavy. He wanted to wake her up, and let her actually feel him in reality. Let her know he was here and he was real and was really able to do this.
"I want you to want it too." He put a hand on his face, covering a side. "I'm sorry. I don't know why, but I am."
Serena let out a sigh, and he saw her face was blushing a little.
"Dumpling, I hope you see me." He looked away from her for a minute. His heart was hammering, his blood boiled even. He felt her shift slightly, he looked at her. Serena's lovely blue eyes were open and looking at Seiya. He couldn't read the expression she had. She just stared into his eyes. Seiya didn't know what to do, he felt like he'd been caught and then felt bad for what he did without her permission. Her face was red, but her eyes shook a little, not in fear or anything bad.
"Seiya…" she whispered. Seiya wanted to get up and walk away, but his body was concrete sitting next to her.
"Am I still dreaming?" she asked. He looked at her more deeply.
"You were dreaming of me?" his hopes shot through the roof. Serena blushed more and more.
"I must be, but you're still here, you're warm…" she sat up a little more; Seiya didn't move at all, and touched his hand. "I felt warmth like this. I must still be dreaming." She smiled and looked into his eyes. "You kiss so sweet and nice. I never dreamed a kiss like that before. You chased it all away again…" she turned her head slightly, feeling shy. "Again…"
"What?" he said quickly. He was confused. 'Does she still think she's dreaming?'
"Will you? I'm still dreaming so it's ok… I want it again. Please, Seiya?"
"Dumpling…" he wanted to tell her she was awake. His eyes looked at her lips, still looking soft. He watched the way she blushed and the way her eyes bore into him; but she still had a shy expression, not confused or scared, just not sure what she should do.
This was too much, but he had his shot to convince her possibly his feelings in one way. He hoped she realized she wasn't asleep anymore though.
"Seiya…"
That was it for him, he went for it, and Seiya kissed Serena on the lips, a little harder this time. His arms sat her up more and he wrapped them around her upper back. She didn't pull back or anything, she just let go too and kissed him back fully. Her mouth was incredibly soft, his heart hammered more and he hugged her close as he kept kissing her. He could feel Serena's heart beat in a similar rhythm to his. Her arms were around his neck then, not holding back. Her cheeks were so warm as he nuzzled them with his cheek, breaking their kiss a little, but quickly went back. He then tasted her, and she was sweet like a dessert. His body heated up as he did this, he was almost shaking. He felt her shake too, but she never once showed any signs of regret or a need to pull back. She felt soft there as he kept tasting her, their body's felt like fire from the experience. It was a sweet but hard kiss. Seiya's mind was all about Serena. He branded this moment into his mind. He didn't mean to but nibbled her bottom lip gently. Serena's eyes shot open, and then she froze stiff. Seiya then stopped and pulled back to look at her. He felt afraid now that she would realize this wasn't a dream and walk away, but she just stared into his eyes. Seiya searched her eyes for any signs of regret.
"I'm not dreaming…" she whispered. Seiya bit his bottom lip and slowly shook his head. Serena felt embarrassed at that moment. "I'm sorry!" she yelled, pushed Seiya and stood up. Her face red and her heart beating so fast.
"Dumpling, I—" he tried to explain, but what could he explain exactly.
"No! It's my fault…" she shook her head. "I'm sorry, I thought…"
"Please, Dumpling, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have—"
"Seiya, I'm sorry… "Her face was so red and her body was shaking. "I—I –I will see you later!" She turned and ran to the door.
"Dumpling, please!" he begged.
"I'm so sorry! You didn't do anything wrong.. I just…" she felt confused. Seiya came up behind her and touched her arm. She didn't mean to, but pulled away. She spun to look at him. "I just… I didn't know… I need time… I'm sorry… I don't know…" she grabbed her bags.
"Dumpling! Stay, please." He cried to her.
"No, I'll see you later, I'm just confused… I'm scared… and happy and I don't know." She blushed and she turned and ran out the door.
"Dumpling!" he yelled, but she let the door shut. Seiya slammed his hand into the wall.
"Dammit, that was stupid. So stupid, Seiya." He said to himself. He leaned against the wall and let himself fall slightly until he sat on the floor. He fisted his hands through his hair and wanted to scream out. He was so afraid he hurt her in some way… pushed her to hard.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry…" he kept repeating, but this whole time he couldn't get the feeling of her lips off of him or let the image of her and him leave his mind.
