Greetings!

An interesting statistic: only 3.6% of the people that read the last chapter reviewed (and what a great group of reviewers you are. Thank you very much!). I've been a member of this site since before there were user statistics. Back then I used to think that no one was reading my stories. I'm not sure which I prefer: thinking that few people are reading or knowing that a lot of people are reading but not reviewing.

Warnings: a lot of violence, some swearing, and graphic descriptions of injuries.

Enjoy!


Chapter 8: Shattered

Matsumoto yawned as she made her way to Hitsugaya's office. She had never been and would never be a morning person, but she'd had to step up and take care of business when Hitsugaya had disappeared. The third and fourth seats had helped, but the three of them put together were nowhere as efficient as Hitsugaya alone was and it irked her that, no matter how hard she tried, nothing ever seemed to get done.

She had one hand on the door to the office when a muffled scream from inside caught her attention. She slid the door open, wincing at the bang it made as it hit the wall, and ran inside to find her captain, in full uniform, huddled on the couch, asleep. He was in the throes of a nightmare, his hands held out protectively in front of him. He twisted and kicked out, as if fighting an unseen attacker.

"Hitsugaya-taichou," she said softly as she approached him. "Wake up, you're safe."

He didn't react to the sound of her voice. His reiatsu tickled her skin as it rose with his discomfort.

"No," he whispered and wrapped his arms protectively around himself.

The sight broke Matsumoto's heart and she reached out to touch his face.

"You're safe, Toushirou," she said as she stroked his hair. "No one is going to hurt you."

He eventually calmed down and opened his eyes. She removed her hand from his hair, but remained crouched beside him.

"Nightmare?" she asked

Hitsugaya looked away. "Something like that."

He sat up and Matsumoto sat beside him. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

He was silent for a long moment. He picked up the hem of his haori and looked at it as if seeing it for the first time.

"I went to see them last night," he finally said, and Matsumoto didn't have to ask whom they were.

"Why? I already told you what they told us."

Another long silence passed between them until he spoke.

"I was angry," he admitted, still not looking at her. "I wanted…" he trailed off.

Matsumoto waited him out. Hitsugaya was not a talkative person, especially when it came to his own feelings. She could count on one hand the number of times they'd had conversations like this, and they all happened long before Hitsugaya was promoted to captain.

"I wanted them to feel what I'd felt when I was with them: helplessness."

The admission was so out of character that Matsumoto found herself leaning into him a bit, providing comfort that no words possibly could. He turned his head to look at her and she could almost see the young boy she'd met in Rukongai so long ago, the one that hadn't yet learned to shield himself behind his duty and his title.

"Did it help?" she finally asked.

"No," he said. "Once the anger was gone, all that was left was the burning reiatsu and the pain. I couldn't make it back to my quarters so I crashed here."

He got up and brushed off the wrinkles in his uniform. He took off the haori and neatly folded it. "I shouldn't be wearing this," he said, "It might give the soldiers false hope."

"Would that be so bad?" she asked.

He opened his mouth to reply but then shut it. Something crossed over his eyes for a moment and she was now sure that he knew exactly what Aizen had done to him.

"You know what Aizen is planning, don't you? Why won't you let me help?"

Hitsugaya shook his head. "I don't know what he's planning," he said, but his eye was twitching again. "I need to do some research to try and figure it out."

He made his way to the door and Matsumoto wanted to shake him until he told her what he knew, but understood that if she did that, she would only be pushing him further away.

"I'll see you later," he said and left the office, leaving Matsumoto with a feeling that this situation wasn't going to end well.


Hitsugaya headed to the 13th division. He wasn't going to tell Matsumoto and Hinamori about Aizen, but he had a duty to the Gotei 13, and someone of high enough rank needed to know what was going on. He could have gone to Yamamoto-soutaichou, but Hitsugaya preferred to only deal with Yamamoto when he had to. Ukitake, on the other hand, was a lot more approachable and easier to deal with.

The guards at the 13th division seemed surprised to see him, but they let him pass. He ran into Kuchiki Rukia as he was wondering the hallways and she did a double take when she noticed him.

"Hitsugaya-taichou," she greeted. "Are things back to normal?"

"Somewhat," he replied honestly. "I've regained my memories, at least. Is your captain available?"

If she was disturbed by the change in topic, she didn't show it. Instead, she nodded and led him to Ukitake's office. She knocked and, when Ukitake responded, opened the door to let Hitsugaya in.

"Thank you, Kuchiki," he said and she closed the door behind him.

"You've regained your memories, Hitsugaya-taichou," Ukitake said with a smile on his face and motioned for Hitsugaya to join him on the couch. "You look more like yourself in uniform."

"It doesn't fit anymore," Hitsugaya said. "I always thought I'd need to get a bigger uniform, not a smaller one."

Ukitake's smile faded somewhat at the reason behind that comment, and Hitsugaya felt momentary guilt at what he'd said. He hadn't meant it as a condemnation of Ukitake's inability to find him. He'd just meant it as fact.

"How did you regain your memories?" Ukitake asked as he put a cup of tea in front of Hitsugaya. One thing Hitsugaya could always count on with Ukitake was good tea.

"Aizen," Hitsugaya said. Ukitake's eyebrows rose in shock. "The memories are still a little jumbled in my head, but I remember seeing him in my quarters, then going to find Matsumoto, and then Aizen was there. He said he was tired of waiting and that I needed to remember. I don't know what he did, but when I woke up, I remembered."

Ukitake looked alarmed at the thought of Aizen wondering around Seireitei unnoticed. "So what is it that the wants from you?"

Hitsugaya sighed and told Ukitake everything. The man deserved to know, not only for his own sake, but also for the sake of those around him. Hitsugaya hated to admit it, but he needed help. He couldn't deal with this on his own and he wasn't about to put the people around him in danger because of selfishness or pride. When Hitsugaya was finished, Ukitake's face showed the horror he was feeling.

"He did it, I'm proof," Hitsugaya said. "We can't let him do this to anyone else, especially not another one of the captains."

"I know, but the more immediate question is how to prevent Aizen from using you," Ukitake said. "Aizen said that only he could undo what he did, right? What about Urahara Kisuke? If there's another mad scientist around, it's him. Would he know?"

"I've thought about it," Hitsugaya admitted. "I don't particularly want him involved, but what other choice is there?"

"You haven't told Matsumoto or Hinamori any of this, have you?" Ukitake asked.

"No. I don't want them involved and put in danger."

Ukitake laughed softly. "You know that's a lost cause. They're going to find out sooner or later and they're going to be involved one way or another. Save yourself the heartache and tell them now."

Hitsugaya shook his head. "No. If they're going to find out eventually, then I'll delay it as soon as possible."

Ukitake nodded. "You need to be under protection," he said. "I can assign a couple of guards from my division or you can use your own men, but someone needs to be with you at all times."

"No," Hitsugaya responded. "If someone is with me, that someone will surely get hurt when Aizen carries out his plan."

"If someone is with you," Ukitake repeated, "they'll provide backup."

"Unless you're going to assign a couple of captains to guard me, no one else can provide back up against Aizen and you know it," Hitsugaya countered.

"Point taken. Very well then, I volunteer myself and Shunsui," Ukitake said and went on before Hitsugaya could protest. "I need to go and brief Yamamoto-soutaichou on what you've told me and get his permission to either bring Urahara here or send you to the living world. Until then, can you stay in your quarters? I'll send Shunsui to keep you company."

"That's not necessary, Ukitake, I –"

"Nonsense," Ukitake cut him off. "You will be protected this time, Hitsugaya-kun. Whether you want it or not."

Hitsugaya clenched his teeth but knew he'd been beat. He'd known Ukitake for as long as he'd been in Seireitei and knew that the man was hard to dissuade once he'd made up his mind. Hitsugaya shouldn't have made that comment about needing captain-class shinigami to guard him.

"Don't look so upset, Hitsugaya-kun. You'll just have some company for a little while. Is that so bad?"

Hitsugaya swallowed the not-so-nice retort that went through his head. "Tell Kyouraku to keep his liquor at home."

Ukitake laughed. "I'll tell him, but it doesn't mean that he'll do it."

Hitsugaya left Ukitake's office, grumbling about drunks with bad taste in fashion, and headed home.


When he arrived at his quarters, Hitsugaya tidied the place a little bit and then got some things together in case they got the approval to go to the living world to talk to Urahara. The ex-12th division captain was going to have a field day with this when they told him, and Hitsugaya dreaded the thought of owing him anything. It couldn't be helped, though. There was no one else that could even begin to make sense of what Aizen had done.

Hitsugaya had just settled on the couch when he felt the presence inside his quarters. He stood and reached for Hyourinmaru, then felt a pang of loss when he remembered that he no longer had his zanpakutou. It didn't take Aizen long to show himself. The man stood by the window looking calm and relaxed, as if he were there for an afternoon chat.

"You're looking a little better, Hitsugaya-kun," Aizen said. "From the uptight look about you, and the fact that you're wearing your uniform, I'd say that you've regained your memories. How do you like what I've done to your reiatsu?"

Hitsugaya stood rooted to his spot. His mouth was suddenly dry and the injection sites on his arm burned in remembered pain. His reiatsu flared, sending jolts of fire through his limbs.

"Yes, I do so enjoy being burned from the inside," Hitsugaya replied as he broke out of his momentary paralysis. "I suppose you came to gloat?"

"I did tell you not to underestimate my skills as a scientist," Aizen said. "You sound remarkably calm for a man who just learned that he's been given a death sentence."

Hitsugaya's hands tightened into fists at the thought that there wasn't anything he could do at the moment against Aizen. He didn't even have a weapon on him. He had to keep Aizen talking long enough for someone to notice the traitor's reiatsu or for Kyouraku to get here.

"I wouldn't say that," Hitsugaya said. "What you did can be reversed."

Aizen laughed. "Yes, but only by me."

"Don't be so full of yourself, Aizen," Hitsugaya said as he stood by the door to the bedroom, as far away from Aizen as he could get and still be in the same room. "You're not the only evil scientist this place has ever created."

Aizen thought about what Hitsugaya had said and then snapped his fingers. "Surely you're not talking about Urahara? He's bright, I'll give you that, but he's not me. No one can undo what I've done except for me. And even then, I'm not sure that reversing the process wouldn't kill you."

"Why are you here?" Hitsugaya growled, growing tired of Aizen's smugness. "What else could you possibly want with me?"

"Ah, but I'm not here for myself," Aizen said and reached into his cloak. "I thought you'd want this back," he added, holding Hyourinmaru out to Hitsugaya.

Hitsugaya felt relief at seeing that the sword was still in one piece. He felt a pull form it, and the dragon roared in his mind. Hyourinmaru had been close after all.

"What's wrong, Hitsugaya-kun? You don't want your zanpakutou?"

"Am I to think that you're returning Hyourinmaru to me out of the goodness of your heart?" Hitsugaya asked.

"No, I want you to die with your zanpakutou at your side," Aizen said and threw it to Hitsugaya.

The moment Hyourinmaru touched his hand, the roar of the dragon drowned out everything else in Hitsugaya's mind. The dragon was angry, and it didn't take long to find out why: Aizen's reiatsu had been fused into the sword and, when it came into contact with Hitsugaya's tainted reiatsu, the seal gave way. His power came rushing back to him in a flood, smothering him in its intensity. He gasped as the power brought him to his knees.

"I've triggered the release mechanism," Aizen whispered in Hitsugaya's ear, "and this concludes my little experiment. It's been a pleasure knowing you, Shiro-chan."

Stay calm, Hitsugaya told himself. Think.

He felt as if he were drowning. Hyourinmaru must have sensed the direness of the situation because he pulsed in Hitsugaya's hand as if he wanted to materialize and do what Hitsugaya couldn't do. Hitsugaya finally clawed his way above the current of his surging power in time to see the door to his quarters blow open and Matsumoto come charging in.

"Hello, Matsumoto-fukutaichou," Aizen said. "You made it this time."

Matsumoto lunged at Aizen, but Hitsugaya used his newly returned power to create a barrier in front of her to keep her in place.

"Stay out of it, Matsumoto!" he yelled. He felt guilt at the hurt look on her face, but he wasn't going to let Aizen hurt anyone else.

Think, damn it!

He had access to his reiatsu again, and with it his previous abilities, but it was quickly spiraling out of control. He was using every technique he'd ever learned to keep a lid on it, but it was a losing battle. He had to get away from the populated areas of Seireitei before he wasn't able to control it anymore. He tightened his grip on Hyourinmaru and gathered his power around him as best he could, and then used shunpo to get to Aizen. Surprised, Aizen wasn't able to get out of the way fast enough and Hitsugaya wrapped his arms around Aizen's waist.

"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me, you bastard," he said and used shunpo to get them both out of the 10th division compound.

Aizen struggled to get out of Hitsugaya's grip, but Hitsugaya's mutated reiatsu, and his anger, were powerful. The more Aizen used his reiatsu to try and get away the more power it gave Hitsugaya. Hitsugaya didn't have to go far, he just had to go far enough away to mitigate most of the damage. Hitsugaya ended up in the middle of the forest west of Junrinan. If his recollection form childhood was correct, they were surrounded by very old and very big trees, which would provide some protection.

"Bakudo #63: Winding Binding Chains."

Golden ropes circled Aizen and bound him to the nearest tree. The man would no doubt break free, but hopefully not before Hitsugaya took care of one last thing. He gripped Hyourinmaru in both hands, centered himself, and entered his inner world. The place was in even more chaos now, snow and ice swirling around madly. The mountains in the distance had changed to volcanoes, and lava spewed out of their mouths and slid down their sides, destroying everything in its path.

"Hyourinmaru!" he called out, needing to speak to the dragon one more time. "Are you here?"

Hitsugaya waited and was beginning to think that Hyourinmaru was still unable to get to him when he heard a muted roar. The dragon approached him from within the middle of the storm, a shadow of his former self. Hyourinmaru was translucent, almost as if he wasn't there at all. His red eyes, always full of strength and fire, were dull. Hitsugaya held out his hand and Hyourinmaru lowered himself until his nose was touching it. The dragon still felt pure, unlike the other reiatsu whipping around him. Hitsugaya closed his eyes and let himself feel that power, for it was likely the last time he'd ever do so.

"I'm sorry I can't stop what's happening," Hitsugaya said, "but I can try to save you as much as I can."

The dragon moved so that it was resting on the ground, his head at Hitsugaya's feet. Hitsugaya ran his hand over the dragon's massive head; Hyourinmaru was weak and disappearing very quickly.

"I'm going to seal you, Hyourinmaru, so that what's left of you isn't destroyed when I lose control of this mutated reiatsu," Hitsugaya said.

Hyourinmaru poked Hitsugaya's midsection with his nose as if in agreement. Tears sprung to Hitsugaya's eyes at the thought of never seeing this majestic creature again. He closed his eyes and the tears slid down his cheeks and landed on Hyourinmaru's head. He pictured the words of the seal he'd learned long ago from one of the books on forbidden spells that Hitsugaya had come across in the central library. The seal wasn't meant to last forever, which was why Hitsugaya had chosen it. In time, Hyourinmaru might be able to break free of it. That was Hitsugaya's hope, at least.

When he finished the spell, the majestic dragon had been turned into a small, perfect cube of ice. It was blue and it pulsed with power. Hitsugaya cupped it in his hands lovingly.

"Thank you for everything. I will miss you, my friend."

He dug a deep hole in the frozen ground and deposited the cube into it. He could feel Hyourinmaru's power pulsing even after the hole had been covered up, and Hitsugaya heard a remorseful roar in his mind. With one last look at what used to be a place of relaxation, Hitsugaya returned to reality.

Aizen was still pinned to the tree, but he'd managed to release one of his hands.

"Shit," Hitsugaya said and made his way to Aizen. He wrapped his arms around the man again and released the hold on his reiatsu. It spiked immediately and then rushed out of Hitsugaya's body like air let out of a popped balloon, ripping skin and clothing as it went. He grit his teeth against the pain, and a part of him was satisfied when Aizen cried out as the rush of power enveloped him as well. Hitsugaya pictured the forest they were in and then imagined a half dome covering it. The reiatsu would go no further than that; he'd make sure of it.

"How does it feel, Aizen, to be destroyed by the power you created," Hitsugaya asked, his voice rough with pain. "I hope you go straight to hell."

The reiatsu intensified and Hitsugaya would have screamed if he'd had the breath for it. He felt muscles tearing and bones breaking; the power that had sustained him for so long was now destroying him. Below him, Aizen was also being ravished by the power he'd created. The man's chest and neck had been burned, and the right side of his face was covered in wounds and blood. Aizen's left arm, which Hitsugaya had been holding on to, had broken at the elbow and the lower half hung limp in Hitsugaya's grip.

After what seemed like forever, it was done and he was depleted of all of the tainted reiatsu. His hold on Aizen loosened and he dropped to the ground beside the traitor. He couldn't see or hear anything, but he also wasn't feeling any pain.

So this is what death is like, Hitsugaya wondered.

And then feeling returned to him with a vengeance. He was on the ground on his back, looking up at a sky that had once been blocked by tall trees. He tried to breathe through the pain, but found that his lungs were full of liquid and didn't want to take in any oxygen. He coughed and blood trickled out of his mouth and down the side of his face.

Great, I make it through my reiatsu exploding out of my body only to drown in my own blood.

Hitsugaya turned his head to see Aizen lying unconscious not far away from him in a similar state of damage. Blood covered every inch of his body and his legs no longer looked like they were in the right alignment.

Take that, you son of a bitch.

"Hitsugaya-kun!"

"Shiro-chan!"

"Hitsugaya-taichou!"

Matsumoto, Hinamori, and Ukitake were suddenly in his field of vision, blurry as it was. They looked at him and then looked at Aizen, their eyes showing their disbelief at the scene in front of them.

"What happened here?"

Hitsugaya would have loved to answer, but he didn't have enough air to form words.

A portal opened up beside Aizen and Ulquiorra stepped out. He surveyed the scene, saw his leader near death, and picked him up.

"You've been bad, Hitsugaya," the man said. "Pray that you don't survive this."

With that, the portal closed and the two disappeared.

Hitsugaya's hand patted the ground beside him, looking for Hyourinmaru. Matsumoto caught the gesture and brought the sword to him. When Hitsugaya touched it, it felt cold and dead, not a trace of the proud dragon left in it. The zanpakutou slowly disintegrated, its spirit particles rising into the sky and scattering. He'd known this would happen, he'd made sure of it by sealing what was left of Hyourinmaru in his inner world, but it didn't make the loss any less painful.

The people around him started talking to him, but he stopped listening. He closed his eyes and let himself fall into the nothingness that beckoned.


Bet you didn't see that coming, did you? I will say this: I believe in reasonably happy endings.

Reviews are appreciated, as always.