Chapter 8
Each step that Harry took towards her room felt like he was dragging 100kg concrete blocks. He walked in and stood staring at her, he crept over to her bed and sat down, not taking his eyes of her for one second. Healer Douglas walked in and picked up her file. He looked over it while Harry watched his face, it was etched with worry.
"Mr Potter, you are at present, in a relationship with Healer Granger, is that right?" Harry's eyebrows shot up but he nodded anyway.
"OK well I am not sure if you have been informed by her and I apologise if you hadn't, but Healer Granger is expecting a baby..." Healer Douglas stopped at the look on Harry's face. Harry was shocked and he kept looking between the woman he loved, laying on the bed unconscious, and the man who had just delivered him this news.
"A..a...are you sure?" Healer Douglas flipped a page on her file and read it to Harry.
"Healer Granger, born 19th September, tested for pregnancy this morning at this hospital and the test has shown she is 6 weeks pregnant and she has you down as the father of her child. Is this incorrect?"
"um, well I don't think so, I am sorry, this is the first I have heard of this." Harry leant back in his chair hard. Everything was happening so fast that his head was spinning.
"Mr Potter, I realise you are under an enormous amount of pressure, but for some reason Hermione does not seem to be coming out of her coma. Her, sorry, your daughter is under an enormous amount of stress and Hermione is critical, and I apologise for putting you in such a difficult position but if it comes down to it, and we can only save one, which one would you like it to be?" Harry knew the tears were running down his face but he didn't do anything to stop them.
"I have a daughter."
"Yes sir."
"Choose one or the other?"
"Yes, sir."
"I'm sorry Healer, I can't make that decision right now, please ask me if it comes down to the time when I have to make that choice." The Healer nodded and left Harry alone with Hermione.
He stood up and leant over her fragile body and gently placed a hand on her stomach.
"Hermione, can you hear me sweetheart, we are having a baby, but you have to wake up, please wake up." Harry cried into her chest and when he was physically spent, he sat back down in his chair and watched her. The Weasley's came in, all except Ron, and they convinced him to go home and rest, he was no use to her if he was exhausted. Harry walked out after much persuasion, and looked at Ron in the waiting area.
His look was murderous so Harry kept walking.
"You know what Potter, you don't deserve her. She is too good for you, why she loves you I will never know. I wasn't there for her when we were together but maybe it's because I knew she loved you, but you, you son of a bitch, you have her heart but you treat her like shit, why is she second best to you? Where were you?" Harry looked at Ron and even though he wanted to get angry, he wanted to scream at him, he couldn't, because it was true. He knew she felt like she was second best to a fantasy, a dream, a damn fairytale. What sort of an idiot was he?
"She's dying in there and you weren't here." Harry could hear his heart breaking, but he knew he deserved it, he escaped to a world to have Hermione but the real one was here dying to have him.
He apparated straight to his front door and shoved the door open. Harry walked through his house and into the library. He stood in front of the arch and he raised his wand.
He was so tempted to blow the arch to hell but he just couldn't do it. He lowered his arm and then the vision of Hermione laying in that hospital bed, carrying his child, dying flashed through his mind and he raised the wand yet again. The word "expulsio" was on the tip of his tongue, he tried to say it, he tried to put an end to his pain but the words wouldn't flow. He collapsed down to his knees and cried and cried. After the tears were drying up and the pain in his chest was subsiding, he slowly raised to his feet.
He lifted his wand and slowly spoke the words he knew would change his life again.
"Penetro dimension," Harry felt the familiar tug of the portkey pull but this time it was different. He landed in a different place, a sort of twilight zone. As Harry slowly turned around, he noticed it was all white, there were no walls, no doors, no distinguishing features at all, just white. He slowly turned around 360 degrees and then he saw his mother, father and Godfather standing there.
"Mum?" Harry looked at the three people standing in front of him and watched as his mother stepped closer and gently hugged him.
"Where am I?" Harry could feel her hand on his arm but he was certain this was not his alternate world, something just didn't feel right.
James and Sirius stepped forward and looked at him with deep concern in their eyes.
Harry's mother started talking.
"Harry, son, do you know why you are here?" Harry shook his head without answering.
"Sweetheart, I know you are going through a tough time but you need to make some decisions."
Harry huffed out a breath and looked at his parents. Could he really give them up so easily. Nobody could possibly understand the pain and guilt he has suffered at not having his parents with him and watching Sirius die while saving him. It was so hard to say goodbye to the only link he had to his family.
"I know mum but it is so hard..."
"I know son, but this is not living. You are slowly destroying your life for a dream, Harry its not healthy."
"You don't know what it's like to be alone Mum, to have to live without you three people, you can't possibly understand what I am going through." A sob escaped from Harry.
James turned around and waved his arm, to the right of Harry a large vision was materialising. It looked like a huge television screen but with blurred edges. He looked at the image that was forming before his eyes and was shocked to see himself sitting in his library drinking a Fire whiskey. His hair was more messy than usual and his skin looked sad and wrinkled. He looked as if he had aged twenty years.
"What is this? How old am I?" Harry was standing right in front of the image. Sirius walked over and placed his arm on Harry's shoulder.
"This is the future Harry, the future you will have if you don't destroy the arch. You will lose everything mate, you will Hermione and become a hollow man with nothing." Harry continued to watch the shadow of a man on the image in front of him.
"This is next year mate, you're only one year older than now." Harry spun around completely shocked.
Sirius nodded and squeezed his shoulder and then returned back to his friends.
Harry turned around to look at the image but it was fading away and a new one was forming. This time Harry was walking through his house with a huge smile on his face holding a small little boy on his hip. His hair was flowing around his face and his eyes were bright and shining. Harry was laughing and talking to the little boy who was hanging onto his every word.
"Is that me?" Harry's voice held some hope.
"Yes son, that is you with your son, James." Harry turned to look at his dad and smiled,
"But Hermione is having a little girl." James nodded and edged his head towards the image so Harry turned back around to see a little girl running into his arms. She had curly brown hair and the brightest green eyes he had ever seen.
"Is that...?" All three of the people Harry loved, nodded again. The little girl looked like she was about 4 years old but Harry could not believe how happy he looked. The image started to fade and Harry turned back around to see his mother standing in front of him.
"Harry these are the two paths that are before you. Only you can make the decision as to which one you will follow son. If you choose to continue coming through the archway, you will lose everything Harry and we don't want that to happen to you son. You should never have stopped living because of us. We died so you can live and love and you haven't done any of that." Harry felt the tears falling down his face and as much as he knew what he had to do, actually doing it was another thing all together.
Sirius was holding his face in his hands, forcing him to look into his eyes "Harry, mate, you have to say goodbye to us. You have to let go and live your life." Harry struggled against his stare but found he couldn't escape it. He slowly nodded.
"its really hard..." Harry sobbed and his mum stepped forward to kiss his forehead.
"Harry you will never be alone son, we will always be with you." Harry hugged her tightly and then noticed another image was forming on the wall.
This image was of Hermione laying in the hospital bed and it broke Harry's heart to see her so broken. The doctors were working frantically around her waving there wands in complicated motions trying their best to help her.
"What is happening to her?"
"She is losing the fight Harry, she can't hold on much longer." James' voice was deep and the pain was evident. Harry was becoming frantic. "What can I do?"
"You know what you have to do son!" Harry looked at the image and watched as Hermione was dying right in front of his eyes and he was helpless.
He turned around to look at his mother and she smiled with a nod. Harry walked over to Sirius and hugged him very tightly and with tears streaming down his face, he spoke. "Sirius, you were everything to me when I had nothing. I love you so much." Harry chocked but hen managed to breathe out the words that broke his heart, "Goodbye, Sirius." Sirius stepped back and with a glowing smile on his face, his image faded into a small glowing white star that floated above their heads.
James walked over to Harry next and Harry felt the pain build up in the pit of his stomach.
"Harry James Potter, I am so proud of you and I could have never asked for a better son than you. I love you very much." James hugged him tightly and Harry returned the hug.
"Dad, I love you so much and I am sorry you died because of me." James' intake of breathe made Harry look up.
"Harry you did NOT cause our death, we both would do it all again so you can live son, do you understand me?" Harry nodded and hugged his father back and took a little longer to release him. When he finally did, Harry mumbled goodbye through his tears and then James started to glow and then turned into the floating star like Sirius. Harry watched it all and slowly turned to face his mother.
"Harry, please remember that we will never leave you. We will always be here in your heart and we love you so very much." Lily placed her hand on his heart and Harry quickly placed his hand over hers and squeezed it tightly.
"Mum, I love you and miss you so much I find this is becoming extremely difficult." Lily pulled him in for a hug and then turned him around to face the image of Hermione laying in bed.
"This is your life Harry, this is your future son, she is laying there dying for you. She loves you so much Harry she would give up everything for you."
Harry nodded and even he was amazed that he still had tears to fall, but through them he looked at his mother, took a deep breath and told her he loved her and said goodbye. The words almost got stuck in his throat but he forced them out. He watched as she smiled and mouthed that she loved him and then turned into the glowing star like James and Sirius. The three stars floated around and joined into one large star and then shot over towards the image of Hermione and Harry watched as the star entered into Hermione's body. At that moment, Harry found he was back inside his library staring at the Archway.
He knew what he had to do.
It was time to let go.
Harry raised his wand and spoke the words that would finally bury his link to his parents. "Expulsio" Harry said the destruction curse clearly and firmly. The archway exploded into a million slivers of timber. He left his destruction there and apparated straight to St Mungo's. He walked in and as he approached her door, he saw Ron asleep on the chair next to her.
That should have been him, he should have been the one that sat by her bedside all night. He vowed that he would make it up to her if it was the last thing he ever did. Ron must have sensed his presence as he woke up and looked straight at the door. They made eye contact but Harry moved away. The door opened soon after and Ron walked out.
"Harry."
"Ron." Ron nodded and walked over towards the elevator and then left. Harry had stopped to get her a large bunch of red roses and some chocolates for when she woke up.
He walked in and set the roses on the side table. He leant down and kissed her lips firmly and then kissed her forehead and finally her tummy. The Weasley's came and went through the day and Luna also visited her friend after lunch. Ginny and Neville came in about 5pm and Ginny was bursting with some news. She was expecting. It took Harry a few minutes to work out his thoughts, as he was sure they couldn't have children, but then he remembered that he needed to make some new memories.
Some real memories.
It was about 11pm when Harry got the news he wanted, Hermione was starting to show an improvement. She was slowly coming out of the coma on her own and the baby was still fighting for her life.
The next day he waited for her to wake up but she hadn't as yet and Healer Douglas assured him that the slower the better. Harry took a chance and apparated out to his vault and then returned as quickly as possible. No change, thank goodness. He didn't want her to wake up to an empty room.
By dinner that night, she started to mumble different things and when she said his name he felt relieved.
Harry was so exhausted that he fell asleep in the chair this time. He had a dream that Hermione was smiling at him and telling him to come to her. He put his hand out trying to reach her but she slipped further back. Harry woke up with a shock and looked at her bed. It took him a minute to realise she was looking at him. Her face was full of worry and she looked like she was in pain.
"Mione, sweetheart, are you ok?" She nodded vaguely.
"What happened?" Harry sat on her bed and put his hand gently on her stomach, he rubbed small circles on it and took her hand with the other hand.
"Mione, you were hit by a car sweetheart, you were badly hurt and you have been in a coma for three days now. What do you remember?" Hermione tried to sit up but she was aching everywhere. She gave up and stayed in her uncomfortable position.
"Umm, I remember Professor Dumbledore, I remember being upset and then I ….." Hermione stopped and looked at Harry with sheer anguish on her face. He was going to ask if she was in pain but he had a hunch as to what was really wrong.
"Hermione I have something to ask you. I understand if you don't want to answer me straight away and I know you deserve better than me but..."
"Harry I'm pregnant!" Harry looked at her and smiled.
"I know, we are having a little girl." Hermione's eyes widened in surprise and then she smiled.
"You want to have a baby with me Harry?" Harry stood up and took something out of his pocket.
"Mione I love you and I love our baby, but what I want to do is to ask you if you would be my wife, for real?" Harry smiled and waited patiently as she looked into the small black ring box he passed to her.
She opened the box and gasped. The ring was beautiful, it was gold with a large square diamond set into the ring with small emeralds trailing down the side of the band. She slowly took it out and looked at Harry's face but then she looked back at the ring again.
"It was mum's, but if you don't like it, it's fine I will buy you a new one?" Hermione shook her head and the tears were flowing down her face. She handed the ring back to Harry and his heart fell. He deserved this, he had lost her.
"You put it on me Harry please?" Harry's eyes shot up to hers and he smiled in between his tears. He leant in and kissed her soundly on the mouth and while he did that, he slipped the ring onto her left hand.
"I just hoped with all my heart that you would both have me." Harry told her truthfully. She hugged him tightly and then looked at her ring.
The rest of the day was spent with doctors doing tests and checking that the baby was ok. She was doing fine, she was a fighter that one. The Weasley's arrived and Hermione told them her news, well two lots of news, and everyone cheered and congratulated them both. Ron hugged her and turned to Harry and nodded. Harry nodded back and left it at that. There were screams all around when Ginny arrived and told Hermione her news, and as chance would have it, they were due within days of each other.
Harry took Hermione home and when they arrived, she asked him to get her a sandwich while she had a shower. Harry walked into the kitchen and Hermione went towards the stairs. She looked into the library and stopped. She walked into the room and slowly stretched her hand out towards the light. She gasped when she saw the destruction. The room was completely in disarray. The wall where the arch stood had a huge black mark on it that showed the intensity of the spell he used. The timber slivers were sprayed around the entire room, it was like a toothpick factory had exploded. She heard him approach and she turned around to look at him.
"Harry, you didn't need to do this, we would have worked through it together." Hermione said softly and gently and it just reminded him how she deserved so much better than him.
"No Mione, I needed to live my life and stop living a fantasy. You and our daughter are my life, you deserve more than me, so much more than me and I hope you can find it in your heart to settle for someone who is so broken." Hermione walked over to him and held onto him.
"I am not settling for anything, I love you Harry Potter, I always have and I won't live my life without you any more." Harry smiled and he hugged her again. He then turned the light off and walked out of the room that had caused them both so much pain.
Hermione was quite happy to have a quiet wedding but Harry insisted on having a proper wedding, so they settled on having the baby first and then doing a nice wedding with their daughter. The time passed by quickly as Harry and Hermione were setting up their home for a baby. The months passed by and before they knew it, Hermione was back at St Mungo's giving birth to their daughter.
The room was full of pink and white roses, flowers and balloons, most of them from daddy.
Harry and Hermione had just said goodbye to the last visitors and they both sighed in relief.
"Man what a day, you must be so tired sweetheart?" Harry brushed the hair out of her face.
"No I'm fine Harry, you're staying tonight aren't you?"
"Yes of course I am, but I think we need to discuss what this beautiful little girls name will be?" Harry was nursing his daughter and Hermione smiled.
"Well I thought Lilyanne, that takes care of both our mum's what do you think?" Harry looked at her and his face lit up. He looked at her and said the name and she oohed and arghhed at him, he smiled.
"Harry, when I had the accident, I remember dreaming about your mum, dad and Sirius. I didn't want to bring it up before now but I feel that she was looking after me. She told me she loved me Harry, a woman I never knew told me she loved me and I felt it, it warmed my whole body." Harry smiled and wiped the tears away from his fiancé's face and leant forward to kiss her forehead.
"I know Mione, she has never left us sweetheart, none of them have." Harry hugged both his girls again.
"Lilyanne Potter it is!" Hermione smiled and felt such relief. It had been hard in those first few months, but when she had the accident and was pregnant, Harry destroyed the arch himself. She came to realise that this was exactly what he needed. He had to get to a point where he had to choose, his life or his fantasy, he understood that he couldn't have both. It wasn't smooth sailing, but it was definitely a step in the right direction.
Professor Dumbledore approached Harry and offered him a job at Hogwarts, apparently Madame Hooch had decided to retire, so he took up the post of Quidditch and flight instructor. He absolutely loved his job and it made it easier that Professor Dumbledore allowed Harry to live at home still.
Ginny had her baby a week earlier, a little boy named Marcus and Ron finally got engaged to Luna Lovegood. It was at the time of the accident that she went to his side and supported him when no one else could. She asked him to be civilised to Harry as he was going through a rough time. It didn't take long for love to blossom and it was amazing how much of a wonderful couple they made.
"Harry, are you happy?" He knew what she meant and he hated that he put that doubt into her.
"Hermione I have never looked back sweetheart. I know you worry but you don't need to, I have never been happier in my life as I am now with you and Lilyanne." Hermione smiled and cuddled into him.
Ginny and Neville asked them to be Marcus' Godparents and they agreed whole heartedly. The only stipulation Hermione had, was that they be married before the Christening as she wanted to use her married name. So they planned a wedding and a christening for the same day.
It was beautiful.
Hermione wore a long white dress that belonged to her mother and they bought a beautiful long gown for Lilyanne to wear. Harry wore his dress robes and Professor Dumbledore performed the service. As soon as they married, they signed the papers and then Ginny and Neville stepped up with Marcus to hand him over to his Godparents. The service was beautiful.
Hermione thought about those days so long ago, but she moved on with her life but more importantly, Harry did. He had his life and he wouldn't trade it for anything, he still missed his parents and Sirius, but he knew they were watching over him and especially his little family and he would see them again one day.
That's it my faithful readers, I hope you enjoyed it.
Sirius xoxo
