Aunt Sweeney Chapter 8: Becca's problem.
Have YOU got a problem? If so, just let Sweeney Todd, the world's best agony aunt and his friends (and enemies) solve it!
I've
been BEST friends with a guy since first grade, and when his parents
sent him upstate for school, I barely got to see him. I've always had
this crush on him and everyone says we would be perfect together. He
just got back 2 weeks ago and I don't know how to tell him my
feelings for him, the worst part is that he told me that he likes
this girl who used to be my friend but I hate her now. UGH!
what should I do?
-- Becca
Bella's special announcement: Hello readers! I am here to give you information on stuff! Because, you see, our usual random observations guy (Toby) is… um… not here, and Johanna said she was busy growing her hair.
Sweeney's reply: -ridiculously calm- Kill his girlfriend, then he will run back into your arms in grief. Mwahaha.
(Bella: We are issuing a statement that Mr T's dosage has been changed. He now costs us £200 a day in horse tranquilisers.)
Mrs Lovett's reply: If it's truuuuuue loooooove, it will all be ok and you will dance happily into the sunset! La-de-da-de-da-de-la… -big smile-
(Bella: Yeah… we're not actually sure what she's on.)
Anthony's reply: Aw… how sweet!!! 'Tis truly love… LOVE CONQUERS ALL!!!
(Bella: Anthony is a happy drunk. Oh good, here comes Johanna. She's not on anything as far as I know.)
Johanna's reply: I would like to say: IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS I HAVE YELLOW HAIR, I'LL SWEENEY THEIR USELESS ARSES!!!
(Mr T: I'm a verb now?
Anthony: 0.0 Oh shit)
Judge Turpin's reply: Tell him your feelings, and if he won't love you, tell him you're happy to be his second girlfriend. Obviously make it clear you won't tell anyone.
(Joh: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!!! KEEP YOU DIGNITY!!!)
Beadle Bamford's reply: Do you think that I should grow a little moustache like Pirelli's? It'll make me Mr Sexy!!!
(Bella: Ew…)
Lucy's reply: Do you think that I should grow a little moustache like Pirelli's? It'll make me Mr Sexy!!!
(Bella: 0.o)
Pirelli's reply: I am dead and on number nine of the having-the-hump-scale.
(Bella: OMG! I love those books!
Pirelli: Of course you do. Other wise there wouldn't be a reference to them no one else will get in my reply.
Bella: -is busy carving 'Bella 4 Sweeney' into a nearby tree trunk with one of Sweeney's razors (as stolen in chapter 4: Angelina's problem, special edition)-)
Jenny's reply: OMG!!! I'M A GUEST STAR!!! OMG!!! Do whatever SWEENEY said!!! I LOVE YOU SWEENEY!!!
(Mr T: 0.o
Jen: -fangirl squee- squeeeeeeeee! –Faints-
Bella: Sorry about her folks, but we needed some more funding for Sweeney's 'happy pills' and her dad won the lottery.)
Bella: Public, I have a terrible announcement to make. Toby –dramatic pause- is DEAD.
Mrs L: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT EVEN HAPPY PILLS EASE THIS PAIN!
Anthony: Not the li'l boy! He was so young! TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!
Joh: What are you, gay?
Bella: JUST KIDDING!
Mrs L: -jaw hits floor-
Bella: He's on holiday.
Mrs L: Oh, that's nice!
Bella: in the rehabilitation clinic.
Mrs L: -jaw hits floor. Again-
Do YOU want a problem solved by Sweeney Todd and his loyal team of Aunts? If so, just hit the little blue button that says 'Go' next to the one that says 'Submit Review' and leave a letter! The Agony Aunts will reply as soon as possible (unless you're boring)!
