Crowpaw's POV
Another sunrise had passed, and I planned to walk with Aurorapaw and hopefully hang out with her at the Gathering later. Darkheart even sat in front of the leader's den, making sure that no one else tagged along on our walk.
Apparently, Grizzlypaw had tried to join our conversation about Clan strategies, when my sisters had dragged him away as usual. But I had to remember that this was for the best, this would keep both of us out of trouble.
I finished grooming myself in the apprentice's den, and I prodded Aurorapaw as she was still sleeping. She grumbled and tried to bat my paw away, and I leaned in to whisper.
"Can I show you something?" I asked. Aurorapaw's left eye peeked open, and I could see her shoulders fall in disappointment.
"Can't you wait till after patrols?" Aurorapaw asked, closing her eyes.
"A little less sleep won't hurt anyone, and I think you'll really like it." I persisted, oh StarClan I hated persisting. I just didn't want to be banished, and I felt bad for it.
"Okay, you were kind enough to listen to Smokypaw. I might as well see what you like." Aurorapaw stood up and walked past the other apprentices. "Let's make it quick though."
We walked out of the apprentice's den where Darkheart was pretending to be asleep. He trusted me not to mess this up, and chose not to spy on us. I felt relieved, knowing that I only had to fake feelings in front of one cat and not two.
How was I supposed to express love to her right away? Maybe I should wait until a moon or two from now...
"So, Smokypaw wants to become leader?" I asked.
"Yes, it's been her greatest dream." Aurorapaw revealed. "Her parents don't believe in her, but I do. You saw how she spoke, don't you think it was so...eloquent?"
"Yeah." I agreed, wondering if I should change the subject. Darkheart was right about her being very close to Smokypaw.
But was she just like me? Did she like Smokypaw? Maybe we could both pretend to like each other, so we could stay in DragonClan!
"She wants me to become her deputy." Aurorapaw added. "I didn't feel useful before we became friends, but now I have a purpose..."
"Aurorapaw." I frowned. "You don't need another cat to feel useful. You're great just the way you are."
"Why did you really bring me out here?" Aurorapaw stood in front of me. "Darkheart put you up to this, didn't he? He never sleeps outside of Goldenstar's den."
"Maybe he likes Goldenstar?" I suggested, my claws sinking into the grass anxiously. Shit, shit, shit, shit!
"You dare question my relationship with Smokypaw?" Aurorapaw growled. "I'd be nothing without her!"
"Relationship?" I whispered. "Aurorapaw, I desperately need your help. That's why I came to you. Darkheart's thinking of kicking me out of DragonClan."
"What?" Aurorapaw snapped. "What could you have possibly done that was so horrible?"
"I've caught feelings for Grizzlypaw." I admitted. "Darkheart adopted me, and he wanted me to pursue you to cure this disease i-inside..."
I felt like I was drowning in my own mistakes, and I sealed my fate. Tears were rolling down my fur, and I was ready for Aurorapaw to yell at me and tell my secret to everyone.
You deserve this, you deserve to die alone where you can't hurt anyone...
Aurorapaw stepped forward and pressed her head into my shoulder, and I was surprised to feel her shaking as well.
"I know how you feel." Aurorapaw sighed. "I thought you wanted to keep me away from Smokypaw, I'm really sorry."
"I do like Smokypaw, more than I could like any tom." Aurorapaw admitted. "Please don't tell anyone."
"I won't, just do the same for me." I asked. "Is it just us?"
"Leopardpelt said that she was in love with a she-cat; she was that FireClan warrior." I explained. "I'll pretend to be interested in you, if that's what keeps you here."
"You don't have to do that..." I sighed.
"Believe me, I'm doing this for both of our sakes." Aurorapaw reassured me. "Mom will stop bullying me if she thinks we're close."
We started walking again until we reached the rose bushes that I love, and we decided to meet up there every half-moon to talk about our problems. It was a great plan, Darkheart would assume that those meetings would be romantic.
"I will bring Darkheart, Silverskip, Tansynose, Moonblaze, Snowfern, Lazuli, Swancry, Spike, Pacifica, Aurorapaw, Crowpaw, and Smokypaw." Goldenstar announced. "Smokypaw, you will be accompanying Moonblaze during the whole Gathering. You're only allowed to speak if Moonblaze permits you."
I narrowed my eyes, noticing how deliberate Goldenstar's selection was. I'd be going with Aurorapaw, but Grizzlypaw was going to be stuck at camp with my sisters.
As we walked towards the Gathering Lake, I saw Darkheart walking close to Goldenstar. At first I thought that they were talking shit about all of us, but then I saw my adoptive Dad lean in towards her, an intensity glowing in his orange eyes.
Did...he actually like her? I was just joking earlier, but it made me happy to see him happy, even if that'd never be the case for me.
Aurorapaw's POV
It was a shame that I didn't have Leopardpelt or Smokypaw to chat with, so I spent some time talking to Crowpaw. Once my Mom seemed content, I left him to search for the StormClan apprentice that Smokypaw mentioned.
It was a light grey she-cat named Tidepaw. When I joined her and the other StormClan cats, they seemed really carefree and friendly. As I was talking to her, her white-furred mentor stood behind her.
"What are you two talking about?" Her mentor asked.
Tidepaw and I froze in the middle of our discussion about Smokypaw becoming leader and giving StormClan territory back. Tidepaw looked at her mentor, who smiled kindly.
"I...Aurorapaw was just telling me about her friend wanting to become leader of DragonClan." Tidepaw explained.
"Any cat would be a better leader than Goldenstar, I would think." Tidepaw's mentor laughed. "I'm going to be with Arin and Dan, give me a signal if you need anything."
"Thanks Suzy." Tidepaw purred, returning to our conversation as soon as Suzy left. "Maybe you and Smokypaw should join our Clan. We're never pressured to have kits with anyone, and Streamstar makes it feel like we're one big family."
"You all are really that close?" I whispered. "My own mother never made me feel that way. But Smokypaw can't leave her family, she loves them too much."
"Oh, well, if you change your mind, Streamstar is quick to accept new warriors anytime." Tidepaw reassured me.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Scorchstar announced that Nightflower was expecting his kits. I quietly said goodbye to Tidepaw. and ran over the rocks to join Crowpaw.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered to him.
"I...was never enough for either of my parents, was I?" Crowpaw sighed. "And here I thought that my Mom would at least be there for me."
"You mean enough to me and Smokypaw." I told him. "We love having you supporting us in our goal, you'll help make DragonClan a better Clan."
"You really think so?" I nodded, and Crowpaw's tail flickered in excitement.
"You're right, and I don't need kits to prove that." Crowpaw decided. "I'll just have to prove to Darkheart what a brilliant warrior I am."
After some more announcements, the Gathering was over and the Clans started to head back to their territories. I saw Darkheart sneak up on Spike and his mate Pacifica; I could barely hear their whispering.
"In a moon or two, I want Pacifica expecting kits." Darkheart demanded. "Goldenstar and I are making sure that DragonClan comes back thriving."
"We've been mates for at least 30 moons, and not once did we consider having kits." Spike rolled his eyes. "Maybe we want to be together because we actually love each other. Where's your mate anyway?"
"That doesn't matter!" Darkheart hissed, looking away. "Goldenstar didn't let you join DragonClan so you two can be freeloaders! Or dead weight! Great StarClan, it's like you two don't care about your own Clan!"
"Get back to us when you have your own kits, hypocrite!" Pacifica snapped. "We're going back to camp."
Spike and Pacifica took off in the direction of the Moon-Oak, and my main concern was for Smokypaw. I finally saw her lock my eyes with her's, and she ran away from Moonblaze's side. Moonblaze swiftly ran between me and Smokypaw and glared at her.
"Did I tell you to leave my side?" Moonblaze growled.
"Um, the Gathering is over, dumbass." Smokypaw spat. "And I don't want to waste anymore of my time."
"Goldenstar will see to you getting a punishment for that nasty mouth of yours." Moonblaze promised, running towards the DragonClan leader.
"Fucking stars above." Smokypaw hissed. "I shouldn't have said that. As pathetic as she is, I need to be on Goldenstar's good side if she or Darkheart are going to make me deputy."
"Unless they get killed by PhoenixClan, everyone seems to die from them these days." I sighed. Smokypaw leaned in closer.
"Does your Mom ever tell you about what your Dad was like? He must've been pretty brave to die for DragonClan." Smokypaw asked.
"No, she's just searching for the next dick to hop on for future grandkits. Did you see the fucking way she was looking at Meredith's kits?" I muttered. "She's much older than them, but they're her 'only chance' to have more kits in the future."
"What about Darkheart?" Smokypaw asked.
"He's too close to Goldenstar to want anyone else." I realized. "I wish I could just know who my Dad was, maybe he'd accept that I-"
Nope, time to shut up. Smokypaw looked at me for an answer and I shook my head dismissively, trying to forget my near-confession.
We went back to camp, and I curled up close to Smokypaw. Crowpaw slept close to me and Daisypaw curled up in a corner by herself, given that Grizzlypaw was still being held hostage in the medicine cat's den.
Suddenly, I was in the same forest that Songpool spoke to me at, and I realized that I had gone so many sunrises without feeling empty. And I had to thank Smokypaw for most of it.
So why was I here again?
I saw a light orange tom with pale yellow eyes that looked vaguely familiar. He smiled warmly.
"My only kit, I love you so much." He purred.
I felt like I was floating in the starry sky, was he my...?
"Dad?" I whispered. He nodded, and I ran towards him and wrapped my paws around his neck.
"My name is Claypuddle." He explained. "I wanted to thank you for befriending my brother's son, Crowpaw."
"That awful tom Sandypelt is your brother?" I gasped.
"Afraid so, but I want to talk to you about Smokypaw." Dad said. "DragonClan won't accept that you want her as a mate, the Crimson Heroine tried to sway your leader, and she failed."
"If you don't want to be with a tom, you must leave DragonClan." Dad confirmed.
"I'm going to pretend that Crowpaw's my mate, Mom doesn't care if I'm supposedly screwing my cousin anyway." I explained. "And Smokypaw is going to become leader, and I promised that I'd be her deputy. It's not like she feels the same, Dad."
Dad's ears flattened, and I heard a river behind us. I turned around, and saw the Raging River. A vision?
It became chillingly silent, devoid of any sounds of nature. Then, I heard sobbing. Before I could react, the Raging River started turning red.
Dad disappeared from my side, and I started shaking. I can't leave DragonClan! I made a promise to Smokypaw!
I felt a fluffy red tail land on my shoulders, and I looked at the big red-orange she-cat now sitting next to me.
"She wouldn't listen, so I'm hoping you will." The cat begged, the Crimson Heroine.
"My loyalty is to Smokypaw." I insisted. Redblossom sighed.
"You're a naive and lovesick little apprentice." Redblossom snapped. "Undying loyalty should be for your Clan, not one cat. But DragonClan is not deserving of anyone's loyalty anymore."
"Consider yourself lucky that she's not giving you any of that cryptic prophecy bullshit." A skinny brown she-cat hissed. "She's telling you what you need to do, and that's finding another Clan."
"We already told her enough, Voletooth." Redblossom decided. "Whatever happens is her decision now."
Redblossom got up and joined Voletooth, leaving me to fall back asleep.
