Regrets

By NocturneD

Note: To Act 2 we go.
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Another day has dawned since the incident. Even if she wanted to. Twilight just couldn't sleep on it. There were a million problems and not one of them were going to get any better. She spent the entire day sulking. Replaying that horrible memory of the previous night in her head.

*BAM*

That sound haunted her for the entire night. Twilight was never one for violence, she never even was in a physical fight. Memories from early grade school were hard enough. A school for the gifted and yet there were still ponies who felt they needed to pick on others. Verbally. Physically. Even mentally. The purple unicorn experienced all three in one way or another. When it happened she would always run to her mom and dad hoping they would deal with the situation. They only supplied her with soothing words. Kisses. And a hug. She came home with a black eye only once herself; then that's when her parents would finally jump into action. The princess would only intervene if she seen it, but a goddess like her you can never truly argue with. There were even times Twilight would sit there crying in her little chair as princess Celestia taught. The private class would end as soon as Twilight cried, too much for her to even bear.

That's what Twilight worried about. If anything physical happened to her. Her parents would finally jump in. What would Pinkie Pie's parents do? She heard stories from Pinkie that her parents were very old-fashioned. And they believed in the old ways of when dealing with situations. Which Twilight was unsure about where Pinkie originally came from. Twilight grew up in a civilized town in Canterlot where there was a zero tolerance rule. That's why it was so clean, no garbage on the ground. Every pony minded their own business as well as the snooty ponies. She had no idea how things were done in Pinkie's home town and it still pecked at her. That was one of her problems.

Her other problem is how she felt so betrayed by Ponyville. She worked for awhile campaigning and talking to other ponies to approve of the library levee approved by the mayor herself along with her assistants. They buried the idea in her head about a new library just outside of town and turning her current one into a city landmark. It would have been an honor. She asked her friends to help and they did their best. Put up fliers, attended debates, even put out a public speaking announcement saying education was important. The ponies were unsure. While a library was essentially needed the town of Ponyville didn't need one the one that was proposed in the city plans. The ponies had their own worries about where their hard-earned tax bits were going to care about a mansion sized library. To them it was ridiculous as it brought up at times that no pony really even used Twilight's library. At least not while she was in. That was another thing that brought up but not to Twilight Sparkle's face. The fact of conflict of interest. The library was supposed to stay open Monday through Friday or Saturday from whatever time to close when ever. This slipped past Twilight's radar as she was supposed to juggle hardships of a library while learning the value of friendship. If she knew it was going to come to that, she would of never left Canterlot. In the end, her cause failed and didn't pass. Her resolution to avoid her friends from the embarrassment. She put so much into this campaign and the crowd voted against her. She was then promised that her current library could be update but then would fall flat that would cost her time and trust.

Her third problem was that she was going to bring a new life into the world. As a little girl she would attend the yearly family reunion. Every year or two there was a fresh new pony baby to welcome into the family. She was one of those special newcomers once but got easily replaced three years later by her aunt Glitter and her son; Shazam. Oh how she detested her cousin Shazam for taking her spot light away from her. Grandma and grandpa would give him all the hugs, kisses even the fun pony song to him. Her mom and dad would even dawn at Shazam. Twilight would easily brushed off but still in a gentle way. That's when she started turning to books. Books would never turn her away because something newer and cuter came along. Though she felt guilty of finishing off a book because she spent so much time with it reading from beginning to end. Even the author notes. So in a way she viewed books as that abandoned child that got replaced by a newer one and would get all the glory. She still had her favorites and would read and reread.

But for the foal growing inside of her. She felt proud but yet scared of what every pony would think of her. Celestia was still teaching her. She couldn't have a baby carriage next to her as she sat down learning an advanced magic spell. But that was something she had to think over or should have at least thought before even doing the deed in the first place. But the feeling of motherhood filled her with new ideas and challenges that she wanted ever since she was a little filly. She would pretend Smarty Pants was her baby at times. Putting her down for pretend naps. Feeding her pretend food. Stealing one of cousin Shazam's diapers and putting it on Smarty Pants. Now an adult herself having a baby of her own. She already told Spike. She sent a letter to her parents fearing what they had to think. But what would be the final nail in the coffin is from princess Celestia herself as Spike wrote the letter and mailed it. Her friends or at least what's left of them will come to know shortly. But to the father, he is entirely oblivious of the entire thing.

Her friends would often tell her to let her hair down and go with the flow. But to her, she was socially awkward. Ponies would say behind her back that she's a know it all or try to be little miss perfect or just sometimes doomed to be the old maid. She sat there in the middle of the lobby going over and over in her head how she was going to tell Watt. As well as the options. If he says he'll hold up responsibility like he should then she wouldn't have to go through this ordeal alone. If he says no and walks out, then she was going to consider moving back to Canterlot anyway, if any pony would take her that is. Nothing was going right for her anyway so if Watt picks the latter then her coffin has already been planted.

She wasn't a pony that was up for dating. At first until she met Watt. The thing how it worked out is that both ponies took it slow. Went out on occasional dates. And when both were comfortable they went out on more. And if that went well they would further the relationship by committing themselves to the other. Admitting their fondness and love for each other. Twilight believed in the marriage before sex, but none of that mattered anymore. She wasn't married and she had a bun in the oven. What possessed her to have relations? She was so sure of herself that's why. Watt has been very supportive and never asked for a raise. He showed up on time, early even and stayed a few minutes late. He would help no matter what she needed. He would hold the door open for her. He pulled out her chair for her. He carried her things. He would care for Spike when she couldn't. He would share his interest in entertainment even though he was more of a movie pony than a reading one. He would buy her flowers. Take her on walks. He would read her poetry. Share each other's problems. Share their history. Share their darkest moments. Even though most ponies would consider him a rather dark and weird-looking pony because of his fashion taste and quiet behavior, what's on the inside is what counts. And that's what she wanted. A stallion that doesn't let anything get to him. To keep his chin up no matter how many times he got knocked down he always picked himself back up again to continue. She never had an official boyfriend before but she was glad she finally found one. But beyond that is what scared her. The possibility of him leaving her to fend for herself. Every time she thought of that idea it would stab her in the heart. She was three months along... Ponies knew he worked for her Twilight for ten months, but what they didn't know is that they met before. Not on talking terms but have crossed paths before in Canterlot in different times in their lives. Twilight never shared this with any other pony. Back then, it didn't involve love but friendly conversations. Strictly business as Watt even worked small jobs in pet stores and magazine stands despite him only being younger the legal age to work. A young Twilight would always wander over to the magazine rack and read. A young Watt would let her despite being told over and over if the customer wants to read one little thing they had to buy it. Yet back then not either one of them thought they would wind up in each other's arms despite what each other has been through. Twilight would go on being a protegé, bearer of harmony and a librarian. Watt on the other hand would move to Fillydelphia with his father to get a better education and a roll in the military that would result him getting hideous scars, guilt, painful memories that will never go away.

She felt like she was on a path that had many forks in the road. Each one symbolizing her problems. Yet not one intersected with each other. They branched off into different paths. Her loyalty to princess Celestia was down one road. Her loyalty to her friends were on another. Some reason... A lone saddened version of Pinkie down another with blood trickling. Her own parents standing both disappointed yet unsure of what to think of Twilight. Watt cradling a small child in his arms singing a slow lullaby. A lone baby carriage on another. The mayor standing on another bath putting that stupid smile on to show her so-called greatness. Another path lead down to her own library, falling apart. But for the last path... was a door that had a sign which read, "Outside".

How much she needed Pinkie to cheer her up now. But now, she wasn't... Pinkie had her own agenda from now own. Twilight would have never guessed in a million years that Pinkie would eventually pull off a successful business while the purple unicorn would be trying to run a library and taking care of a baby at the same time. The strained relationship between herself and Pinkie Pie can easily be repaired. It was just, was Pinkie willing to sit down and listen? Or was Twilight the one being unreasonable? She had her reasons but she never told any pony. She never even officially met Pinkie's partner Crystal Clear and friend Aquamarie.

Twilight looked at the handle of her front door. She could easily turn the knob and walk outside to find Pinkie and apologize. But something was pulling her back. Something making her nervous. Something making her skin crawl. Something that wanted her to stay where it was safe. Was it her books? Her responsibility as a librarian? Or was it her guilt? Or her sub conscious? Her assistant Spike the dragon walked up to her and let out a huge belch. Her eyes slammed wide shut and teeth grated in fear.

Spike unfolded the letter then looked at Twilight if she wanted to hear what the princess had to say. She nodded and wanted to get it over and done with. He read aloud, "Dear Twilight Sparkle. This news of your deceit disappoints me. Instead of dealing with your problems head on, you still manage to scurry away and hope that things will turn for the better if left alone. For the mayor of Ponyville, I am deeply disappointed that an arrangement couldn't be breached. The library now an incomplete mess, I will surely let her know of this problem and be persuasive." Spike cleared his throat, "The Pinkie Pie ordeal is something you're going to have to work on your own Twilight. I am strongly disappointed in yours and Pinkie Pie's actions. Thank goodness that Pinkie Pie didn't want to press charges against you as she still feels that you were really sorry when you tried to apologize. My faithful student. I cannot fight all your battles for you as you cheer me on from the side lines. I am not your savior. You're a grown mare that needs to face the hardships of friendships. Friendship is made easily, but how it holds up is the problem. As in today's allies can turn to tomorrow's enemies." Twilight swallowed her pride and let Spike continued, "I know this isn't what you want to hear. This is something that you and Pinkie Pie can fix. If she doesn't want to accept your friendship then you learned that its hard to keep up. Not every pony is going to want to consider being friends with every pony out there. Just say your apology with meaning. If she doesn't still then I apologize for saying this but... Suck it up and move on. If she doesn't want to come around, then it's best to leave her be to her success as I wish her luck in Planet Cupcakes. At least you'll always have the memories of you two having fun."

Twilight wanted to die in dread after hearing that last line. Spike started again, "Though this letter started off with two bad pieces of news. This last one has me all shaking. I'm pleased to congratulate you on your pregnancy Twilight Sparkle with my son Gigawatt. But the news you left was pretty vague as I assume you didn't tell him yet. I understand he's a pony that went through so much and that was always my deepest regret as I could never have raised him the way I wanted because of my place and how I'm too busy. You two have my blessings and I hope you two set this right. Sincerely, Princess Celestia. P.S. Is it a boy or a girl? Please the suspense is killing me."

Spike laughed as he rolled up the letter. "You see Twilight. It's not all bad. You just have to work things out with Pinkie and have to eventually tell Watt."

"It's not just that Spike..." Twilight sniffed, "It's just the thought of losing a friend that kills me. The whole town must hate me for how I have been acting..." Tears rolled down her cheeks again, "How can I face any pony now?

It was like if the front door grew a wide mouth with teeth ready to chomp on her hoof if she got close.

ooo

to be continued... please review!

note: yes. yes. the second act will not be in POV unless a certain character needs to use it. Also a little more on Watt of him being a little tike still working for small jobs and letting a little Twilight read his magazines. Aw... Funny how fate works that way. And yes, a little more and more will be revealed. Also to let you guys know. This story now has no set schedule so please be patient.