Chapter 8
Of Contradicting Desires and First Kisses
!FIRST AMU CONTEST BEING REVEALED AT END OF THE CHAPTER! CHECK IN EXTRAS
I roll onto my back and stare blankly at the dark ceiling, each minute stretched into oblivion as it rolls over and into a void of time and space. It has been four days since that night, that face, that snarl, and that laughter… all of it born from Shukaku and all still taunting me in my dreams. I haven't spoken, or even seen Gaara since that night, and quite frankly, the icy shoulder he has turned to me is like lava in the pit of my belly. Yet, it causes me such bitter rage, I am content. Before, it was always a guessing game, I'd never know when, or even, if, he would wander back to me. This game could go on for days, sometimes longer, and it did nothing but infuriate me. Now that game is over, over for good. Hotaka had told me that the Kazekage had accepted my request and now I know that if I don't see Gaara right away, I will at least see him at the Chuunin exams. Now that I am sure of this I have found the pros in being alone. Of course it is lonely, but it gives me—or more so, it gives US sometime to think for ourselves. To recollect our scattered faces and shift through our own personal issues.
I have made good use of this time, everyday, from dawn to dusk I have been training with Jealous and Hotaka. Actually, I have improved immensely because of this, even though it has been just a short while, I believe I have absorbed more of the lessons than just the muscle pains. With Jealous there beside me during the exercise, Hotaka's training is evened out between us so it's less of a torturous death sentence and more of a lesson to learn from. And with him there, things are always much more fun. Jealous knows exactly how to ward off my anger or sorrow, even stifle my loneliness. In a way, I feel as if I have known him for years. No…actually, it's more than that. I feel as if he and I were meant to be in each other's company, being friends with him is as simple as breathing in. Nana even talks to him as effortlessly as if she were talking to me, which is quite impressive considering how awful she is around boys she finds attractive. Things have been better then ever, excluding some finer points, of course. I mean, even Ryo and Shouta have started to take hold of their lives again. Shouta made a friend just three doors down and Ryo has even met a pretty girl. The tightness that had burrowed down in my chest over the years has eased and I can breathe easy, suddenly the Earth is spinning in the right motion again. It's…nice.
I sit up from my mat and let my gaze linger on the window as the light pours from the glass. For a moment, I wonder if I am too late to join training with Hotaka and Jealous but then something moving outside my window disturbs my thought process. I lose it for a second and then there he is, right in front of my face. A head of boiling red fire bent down with pastel skin radiating in the threatening suns heat. Though his back is to me, his head is cocked to the right and I can clearly see his lined black eye nonchalantly focused on me. "G-Gaara?" He doesn't reply as he simply turns his head forward, leaving my expression on to be undesired. "WHAT THE HELL! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE MY HOUSE?" Yet again, he doesn't answer and out of impatience and just plain frustration I fling myself over to my desk, whip open the window and catapult myself out. I swing towards him with a stern expression on my face, which fades for a moment when I process how hastily I just acted. In fact, it's lucky that I decided to wear sweats and a tank top to bed instead of just my undergarments like I usually do. If I had done this without any proper clothing on, I'd probably had gone ballistic. Coughing away those thoughts I return my focus to Gaara, "WOULD YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT YOU ARE DOING?"
He stands ever-so-casually, his arms crossed and his black-rimmed eyes, closed, he's as straight faced as always. "My father… He accepted you to take part in the Chuunin Exams." In a different perspective, someone might have mistaken that for a question, I know better. Gaara, for the most part, doesn't ask questions, he states the facts then silently waits for confirmation.
"Yeah, he did. Does that bother you?" I pose, trying to gage any sort of reaction he might have, there is none. Not even that little twitch Ryo gets in his lip when he is annoyed or caught in a lie, he is dead panned, a blank slate. I bet he would be really good at poker…
"That's all I needed to know." He says then turns from me and he begins to walk away. His feet harden the sand and I feel my voice get lost in my throat. You're leaving? B-but you just got here! I wonder for a split second why he isn't replying, then I realize that I hadn't said it aloud. It's stuck in my head. My pride won't let me say something as helpless as this.
I begin to panic and it steadily increases the farther he gets, I'm not sure why, I guess that I unexpectedly realized that him showing up is exactly what I have been waiting for. Reaching out my hand I call out to him, my voice spiked in too many emotions all at once. "S-stop! Don't act like I'm an idiot! Do you honestly expect me to accept that? Why would you wait outside my window, watching me sleep for, god knows how long, just for that?"
"Aggravated?" He inquires. I know that he probably doesn't mean it to be but I can't help but feel as if he is taunting me. He's holding all the cards and he is quite aware of it, it's pissing me off to the highest level.
"YOU WISH YOU HAD THAT KIND OF EFFECT ON ME!" I burst; I am shocked by my own voice as it echoes into the sky. Why am I being like this? Not even Ryo has been able to make me this frustrated in a while and yet it is so easy for Gaara to just slip under my skin. Crossing my legs, I let myself drop to the ground with my arms crossed and my lips frowning, the hot sand soothing to me. Only Gaara is capable of such reactions and, even though I try to ignore it, I am sure he is well aware of it too.
"Why did you write it?" He asks and I look back at him to see his hard expression puncturing my anger. For a moment, I have no idea what he is talking about, but then it registers. Of course it would be about that. Why didn't I guess it?
"You saw what I wrote on your floor…" I mumble to myself, I try to think of an answer but none worth the effort come to mind. "I'm not sure, I just thought of it. I usually do when you're around. Is it wrong that I did it?" Gaara doesn't answer, and for the longest time I can't speak either. It is true, whenever Gaara is close, somehow, I think that he just makes the world a little more brighter for me. I don't feel empty when Gaara isn't around, no, I feel dulled, like I'm not seeing the full picture. Why would I feel that though? We're just friends…right?
XxxXxxX
-Chihiro's Flashback-
"Hey, Chihiro can I talk to you?" Nana asks. I shrug and follow her as she walks a few feet away from Jealous and Hotaka. Turning, I notice they concern laced into her expression and I fold my arms, ready to hear the bad news. "You're not…in love with Gaara are you?"
"Wh-what?" I am taken aback by this, a flush starting to heat up my ears. "What are you talking about, Nana? Where did you get that stupid idea?" One of her eyebrows raise in response and I only frown.
"You, seriously, haven't noticed? Ro-Chan I think you're denying it to yourself." I glare at these words. Denying it to myself? What kind of bull is she letting escape her mouth? And the fact she is using my childhood nickname says that she's trying her very best not to put me on the defense. "You know whenever someone brings his name up, you get this funny look in your eyes. You have never had that look before, not even with Ryuu."
A funny look? I don't ever recall doing that… "What king of look are you talking about?"
"There isn't a way to describe it in just word. It's a mesh of almost a million different emotions. Admiration, frustration, determination, fear, and joy. Those are the ones I have been able to actually catch from each time you've made that face." Nana replies with a very calm tone but it's obvious how worried she really is. I ball my hands into fists and feel my irritation surge forwards violently.
"Look, Gaara and I are just friends. FRIENDS! H-how many times do I have to tell people that? Plus, with how he has been ignoring me, I don't even think he considers us that!" I throw my hands up in the air, trying to distract her from seeing the sorrow that passes over my face at that thought. I am able to conceal it as I continue on with my rambling. "Even if I did love him, who cares? Why do you all look at me like I'm just some stupid kid that is in way over her head? I can take care of myself! I mean even if I did love Gaara—w-which I don't! I hate the way you guys think of him and I hate how you all pity me for not thinking of him the same way! Just stop already! Stop making it a deal that I enjoy his company and stop whispering that it's a problem behind my back! For the love of GOD, just STOP!" With that I turn away and run from them. I don't go back to Jealous or Hotaka and I certainly didn't return home that night. I spent the rest of that day trying to forget what Nana had said.
-End flashback-
XxxXxxX
That was two days ago and I gaze up at Gaara, now, his back is to me and the silence that has layered around us is not a comfortable one. I just want to understand him, I would give anything for a peek inside his mind. If I looked inside, maybe, just maybe, it'd be easier to talk to him. Yet, even though I wish this, I know that no star will grant it happily. Even though I pray for his voice, there is no way that it will be given without his say, and I realize this to the point of almost a lonely touch on my heart. I feel as if I have finally grasped something I have been missing. Gaara is quiet and withdrawn, if he feels that there is nothing to say, he won't say a thing. It's contradicting and boiling in my mind. We conflict each other, why do I fight so much for someone that couldn't possibly be friend-compatible? 'You're not…in love with Gaara are you?'
"NO!" I shout at the top of my lungs, then feel the flush explode in my cheeks as soon as I find Gaara watching me. "ehehe…" Gosh, I'm a spaz… Is it so hard to act just a little less idiotic than he already thinks I am? Sighing in frustration I conclude that, yes, yes it is. "Gaara." He doesn't respond but I know he is listening. Moving my eyes to the sand I ask, "What do you think…of me?" I don't expect a response, Gaara probably doesn't have much of an opinion of me. I'm just that weird girl that is his after lunch pass time. If Gaara even eats lunch… I've never actually seen him eat, so, I really wouldn't know.
"You interest me. Nothing about that has changed." Stunned that he spoke, I quickly look up to find that he has turned completely around, answering me directly. "You are the first to ever converse to me as if you cared. I'm… sorry, that you have been left wondering what that means to me. When I eventually destroy this village…I will consider not killing you."
"Gaara…" I speak in utter awe, this development is like music in my ears. Gaara may not have said it directly, but he cares for me more than anyone else. This fills me with utter joy, even though what he just said is slightly morbid. Okay, incredibly morbid, but a step at a time, at least he's learning…
"We are leaving for Konoha later tonight. It would be safest if you and your team travel with us." That's right, I nearly forgot that the Exams are just five days away. Actually, Hotaka and Jealous were talking about leaving in two days, but Gaara is right, it would be safest to travel with him.
"Where are you guys meeting up? We'll meet you there." I stand and dust off my sweats, my feet sink into the sand and I stumble backwards expertly.
"The front sand Gate." He says as the sand my foot connects with hardens and I am able to steady myself before I fall. My face lights up and I notice the emotions bottled up in his eyes, but they are gone before a second has passed. I turn back and climb back into my window. Sitting on my desk, I wave to him, a smile on my face.
"We'll see you there, Gaara!" And with that, I slide my window closed and float out of my room.
XxxXxxX
It's late. Later then I'd like to admit. I managed to convince Hotaka and Jealous to travel with Gaara after a lot of screaming, blackmailing, and other means of persuasion. Now that we're here we have to wait on one last person, Gaara doesn't seem bothered by this but Temari and Kankuro sure are. "Jealous, you told Vanity to be here right?" I demand, skepticism coating my words.
"I swear, I told her. She's always late though, sorry, I guess I should have told her earlier." I pinch the bridge of my nose, vexed by our wondering teammate. Despite many urges from Hotaka, I haven't actually met Vanity yet. I sort of devoted my time, every single hour, to my training and its not like she stopped by at anytime.
"Maybe we should go ahead and you guys can catch up with us." Temari suggest, impatience cryptic in her voice.
Kankuro agrees, anxiousness obvious in his, "Yeah, that sounds understand—"
"No. We'll wait here." Gaara commands, his hard voice suffocating their hope of escape in no time at all. It nearly makes me smirk. There is silence again, and the overcoming need to laugh is just about to choke me. I was just about to burst until a girl with curly black locks and dark skin appears out of nowhere. Her eyes are orbs of hazel, and her lips are full and lush. She's, in a word, beautiful. How in the world is Jealous not interested in her? On another note, how is she interested in Jealous?
"So you finally showed up, Vanity?" Jelly scoffs, and she smiles, flashing her pearly white teeth.
"Sorry, but that whole update, was sort of last minute. I needed to pack a few things." Now that I look more closely I notice that large backpack, the two purses and fanny back all strapped on to her.
"You do realize that we'll be walking to Konoha right? Carrying unnecessary things will only make the journey longer." I point out to her. Jealous shifts nervously beside me but I ignore him. Her eyes turn on me in a flash, sizing me up with a quick once over, her smile becomes sickly sweet and I feel nauseous just looking at it.
"Oh! You must be the new comrade! I've heard a lot about you from Jealous. You startled me though, I thought that you were some lost kid. I mean, gosh, you're so short. No boobs at all either." I glower. This little brat!
"Its sooo good to meet you, Vanity, was it? Funny, Jealous hasn't mentioned your name once. Probably because he isn't very interested in your existence. By the way, forget about those bags if you get tired we'll just leave you wherever you drop. You're probably useless in a fight anyway." Her smile quickly falls into a frown, and I grin at this feeling accomplished with myself.
"You're quick to judge someone just from their appearance."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know being hypocritical was in this year. What else is popular nowadays? Being a rotten brat?" Sparks shoot from our eyes and heat lights up our ears. Well, it didn't take long to figure out I do not like this girl.
"Come on girls, isn't it cliché to butt heads with the same gender? Let's get a move on or we really will leave you behind." Hotaka says as everyone starts walking ahead of us. We are left behind staring each other down and I scoff then run towards the others, but the anger drains as soon as I see Gaara patiently waiting for me.
"Hey, you waited!" I say with a smile but his eyes are closed as he silently strolls beside me. I don't mind this silence, is a happier one, and I enjoy his company even if his lips are going to be clamped shut throughout it. The sun beats down on us, and I am sure that I'll have a nice burn on my exposed shoulders by the time we get to Konoha. My quiver and bow is strapped to my back along with a small pack wrapped around my waist which contains money and Getsurei. Hotaka is the only one with real supplies, his backpack is full of canteen, food and first aid kits. Not that we would need one. Usually in Suna you are taught to bare a wound, then when it scars, display it as a sign of honor.
"Why is she talking to him?" I hear Vanity whisper to Jealous.
"Their friends."
"Are you fucking joking? Don't tell me that you failed to mention that our new teammate is a psychopath!" Glancing towards Gaara I try to figure out if he is hearing any of this but its impossible to tell. I really do wonder how well he would fair at poker.
"Chihiro just thinks differently, that doesn't make her a psycho. Why are you always so quick to judge people?" Jealous demands with annoyance seeping into his tone. "Besides, I would avoid talking behind her back. I can't even last in a fight with her, that means she'd knock you to the ground in a second." Smirking, I watch out of the corner of my eye as Vanity huffs and pouts silently. Dumb bitch.
"I was wondering when people would start isolating you." Gaara mumbles under his breath. It's so low that even I, who is right beside him, need to strain to hear it.
"Isolate me?" I mimic, but his eyes are still closed and his face is still masked of any emotion. This can only mean one thing, Gaara wants me to figure it out. Yet, just hearing, isolation isn't much to go on. Why would people all the sudden start to isolate me? Then it hits me. It's because of him. Thinking more in depth about it, things that I brushed off before suddenly slingshot into my mind. How people in the market stalls whisper as I pass by, the dirty looks that others throw over their shoulder at me. I remember trying to confront some of the bystanders with a casual 'Hi' and suddenly they scurried away. As if my presence was poison. Isolation…because of Gaara? Of course, I didn't think of this before, I didn't see the fear they saw in him. From another person's view, since I so easily socialize with him, I must be just as dangerous. If not more so.
To share a fruit with a demon is only a downfall for its possessor.
I sigh but a small smile slips onto my lips. Looking at the path ahead of us I reply so only he can hear me. "Sorry but them isolating me doesn't bother me. I'll do as I see fit, their opinions mean nothing." And we continue to make our way towards Konoha, not another word needing to be uttered after that.
XxxXxxX
"Look, there's Konoha!" I shout excitedly, and run towards the Leaf village with more enthusiasm than I should have. The others are left in my dust. It's so nice to finally see trees again, to feel grass under my bare feet once more. Without thinking, I climb up a random tree and swing from its branches, cool air swirling around me. I love Suna, I love Suna so much, but it's nice to see green lively scenery after so long of being deprive of it. Some passing people give me weird looks as I jump from the tree to a nearby building but I am far too engrossed to care. I see some elderly people I had conversed with when I was here with the caravan and I wave at them elatedly, "HI! It's so good to see you all again!"
"Chihiro! I was wondering when you would come back!" One of the old men call out waving at me with bright smiles. "Come visit, sometime, while you're here, okay?"
"I promise you that!" I twist back to another direction running along the buildings structures. Though Konoha is a little more toned down then Suna and most people are elderly, it's a breath of fresh air. Air that isn't laced with sand and excruciating heat. I thought that I'd never be here again! Oh, the joy that fills me to the brim is spilling out effortlessly. I fling myself from a building to another tree and then tumble to the hard earth, faltering only a second to ease myself into a jog. Continuing to jump over fences and rocks, I suddenly realize something. I'm completely lost. "Shit…" I heave out an exasperated breath and inwardly scold myself for losing my face. I've never actually traveled this far into the village and considering I have no idea where the others are that makes things ten times worse. Who knows how long I have been running either? Guessing how deep I am, I'd guess about fifteen, twenty minutes. Ok…first mission is to find the others.
"Do you…need something?" I know that voice. Kankuro? I rush towards the turning point for the fence and I see them. Naruto, Sakura, and three kids, along with Kankuro and Temari standing together. That's weird…where's Gaara? One of the kids, who is wearing what appears to be a bed sheet and goggles has been knocked on the ground at Kankuros feet. For a moment it seems like an okay scene, until Kankuro grabs the kid but the knot around his throat and hoists him just to his eyes level.
"Konohamaru!" Naruto gapes.
"So, does this hurt, punk?" Kankuro pulls back the knot and chokes the boy with his own cape.
"Put him down, Kankuro! Or you know you'll pay for it later." Temari urges, though she doesn't lift a finger to stop him. I don't understand, what is it I'm seeing? Since when is Kankuro so violent towards kids? Yet, I guess if you live in fear of one kid in particular your whole life, I guess that makes you bitter towards them. It still doesn't make it right, though.
"Hey, I'm sorry. The whole thing was my fault." Sakura says, her body shaking with unease. She has every right to be scared, Kankuro can be merciless and whatever that kid did sure pissed him off.
"YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HIM, RIGHT NOW!" Naruto shouts, his fists balled up and ready for a fight. Naruto, you're being rash as always. Kankuro is too much for you. I want to jump in, but I have no idea what is going on. Gaara should be here. He knows exactly how to put them into place. Should I go look for him? Just as I think of this Kankuro smirks toothily at Narutos outburst, it's enough to make you cringe.
"We got a few minutes before he gets here, let's mess with these punks, huh?" Kankuro, you idiot! The boy, Konohamaru whimpers in pain as Kankuro yanks back the knot some more. THAT'S IT! I take a step from the gate, my hands balled into fists, I'm going to beat the shit out Kankuro! With, or without, Gaara here.
"Let go of me, you jerk!" the boy starts swinging his feet at Kankuro's gut but it's useless, none are powerful enough.
"You're feisty, but not for long." He taunts in a sing-song voice as he pulls back the knot a little more, causing Konohamaru to cringe at the sting. Growling in anger, I start to approach with my fists clenched, but something makes me stop. Something soft but iron-strong yanks me back behind the fence and I struggle to break free until I notice what it is. Sand, Gaaras sand wrapped around my hands and feet, covering my mouth. Casually, he gazes at me, those eyes so dulled that no light reflects from their surface. He shakes his head then disappears, leaving his sand to bind me to the fence. What the hell, just happened?
That thought is knocked out of my head as soon as I hear Narutos explosive, "AHHHH!" Footsteps pounding and then he shrieks as I hear him plummet to the ground. "Wh-what was that?" This leads me to believe that Kankuro used his puppet chakra threads to trip Naruto.
"You're a leaf Genin, too? Looks like your village is full of wimps!" Kankuro teases.
"Ugh!" Naruto huffs at the obvious ache, "Konohamaru!"
"Konohamaru!" A little girl's voice desperately calls out.
"Konohamaru!" The little boy calls next. Muffled cries of pain escape for the no doubt suffocating boy and I struggle in anger. Damn it, Gaara, let me go! Why the hell did he leave me here like this! Am I just expected to listen to this and be quiet about it? I have no choice, Gaara's sand is too strong to break out of. Not even Hotaka could do it.
"HEY! Cut it out! It hurts!" Konohamaru gasps, but I know, even without watching, that Kankuro isn't listening.
"That's it, drop him now, or I take you apart! You got that, fool?" Naruto yells followed by choking sounds, which don't sound like Konohamaru's.
"YOU'RE THE FOOL! MAKING THREATS ISN'T GOING TO HELP, NARUTO!" Sakura shouts. I roll my eyes, well, asking Kankuro to a tea party isn't going to solve anything either.
"You're annoying. All of you." Kankuro retorts. "I don't like runts, or any other scrawny weaklings. So, when a wimp like this starts shooting off his mouth—" Konohamaru howls out again, Kankuro must have pulled the knot back another notch. "I just want to break him in half." Everyone gasps and I desperately flail my body forward, the sand hardens at this, it's like cement. They won't last a second with Kankuro! He'll slaughter them if nobody helps!
"Ugh, fine. I'm not involved in any of this. Okay?" Temari remarks offhandedly.
"First, I'll take care of this little squirt. Then I'll waste the other one!" The excited tone in his voice is almost enough to make me barf. Footsteps pound on the ground and I guess that it's Naruto again trying to stop the madness but then a thump sounds on the ground and Konohamaru yelps out. Did Naruto do it? Did he really get to Kankuro? Kankuro grumbles in pain, and I decide that no, it wasn't Naruto. Even if he was lucky enough to land a blow on him, I doubt it would have hurt Kankuro, more or less it would have just knocked him off balance. The sound of a pebble dropping to the ground catches my attention, suddenly, I am intrigued. A third party has joined the fun have they?
"You're a long way from home and you're way out of your league." It's a faint voice, but I can tell that it isn't Gaara. In fact, I know exactly who it is…Saskue Uchiha.
"SASUKE!" I let my expression fall into a displeased one. Oh, Sakura, your disgusting obsession with Sasuke always did put a damper on your personality.
"Naruto!" Konohamaru calls excitedly as feet pound on the ground. I decode this as him racing back to Naruto's side.
"Oh, great, another wimp to tick me off." Kankuro says irritably.
"…Get lost." Saskue commands, a dark tone taking his voice.
"AHHH! SOO COOL!" Sakura and the little girl blubber out, enthused by just his mere presence. I feel my eyes drop to a cynical expression, okay, do you really have to sound like rowdy fangirls? I do have to hand it to Saskue though, from what I have inferred from just listening, it sounds like he took out Kankuro's grip with just a pebble. Smooth operator, I suppose.
"How come you're not cool like that, huh?" Konohamaru shouts, obviously displeased.
"Ahh what do'ya mean? I could have taken that guy out in two seconds flat!" Naruto pleads, trying to hide his annoyance at Saskue's arrival.
"Hey, punk, get down here." Kankuro orders. There is silence so he continues unfazed, "You're the kind of pesky little snot I hate the most. All attitude and nothing to back it up." I hear a disturbance in the wind and then a loud thump on the ground that makes my heart stop. Shit just got real…
"What? Are you going to use the crow for this?" Temari inquires with anxiety high in the air. I've only heard stories about the crow, and to use it on a bunch of kids, Kankuro must be really ticked off.
"Kankuro… Back off." I feel myself slump back against the fence, relief pouring out of my soul. Thank God. I listen as they gasp at this development and I smirk, Gaara must have spooked them with his sneaking skills. I'm not surprised that none of them detected him, him showing up out of thin air never ceased to make me jump out of my skin. "You're an embarrassment to our village."
"Eh…Hey Gaara…" Kankuro replies, nervousness tightly knit into his tone. I smirk, serves him right for picking on a bunch of little kids.
"You're an embarrassment to our village…Have you forgotten the reason we came all the way here?" Gaaras words are sharp, and in his sighing voice they rival Saskue's offhanded threats by a mile.
"Uh, I know, uh, I mean…they challenged us. They started the whole thing, really. See, here's what happened…" Kankuro stumbles over his words terribly, there is no doubt that his fear is taking over his common sense. Gaara has seen the whole thing, and he does not like to be lied to.
"Shut up." Kankuro stops dead in his sentence and I image the terror on his face as Gaara's tone becomes more lethal. "Or I'll kill you."
Kankuro backtracks, pleading for Gaara's mercy other then his understanding. "uhah, right. I was totally out of line. I'm-I'm sorry Gaara, I was totally out of line."
"I'm sorry, for any trouble he caused." Gaara says, his tone returning to a regular sigh but I hear the difference. Though it is only slight, the interest in his voice heightened a few notches. Could it be that he found someone else who is worth his time to keep an eye on? I hear Gaara's sand twist with its harsh sound and his soft footsteps his the ground. "Let's go. We didn't come here to play games." He commands, the harshness falling back in its usual place. Leading me to believe he has turned back to Temari and Kankuro.
"A-alright sure…I get it." Kankuro mumbles and the footsteps start to recede, I thought it was all over until—
"HOLD ON!" Sakura hollers, as she races forward a few steps. Oh, god no, please just back off Sakura. "HEY!"
"What?" Temari poses, the three of their footsteps stopping dead in their tracks. Great, she couldn't just let them be?
"I can tell from your headbands that you come from the village hidden in the sand." There is no answer, so Sakura continues. "Of course the land of fire and the land of wind are allies but no Shinobi can enter another's village without permission. So state your purpose. And it better be good." FOR THE LOVE OF—! WHAT KIND OF BULL IS THIS? TWO SECONDS AGO YOU WERE COWERING IN THE CORNER AND NOW YOU'RE TALKING BIG? MAYBE YOU SHOULD TURN AROUND AND COME BACK WHEN YOU KNOW HOW TO PULL YOUR OWN WEIGHT IN A FIGHT!" I scoff crossly, sometimes Sakura just pushes my buttons. She has, ever since I became acquainted with them when I was traveling with the Caravan.
"Really… Have you guys been living under a rock or what? You don't know what going on do you?" I hear her hands clasp the permission paper and I suppose she is flashing it to them with a superior smile. "We have permission. Of course, you're correct. We are hidden sand Genin. Our home is the land of the wind, and we came here for the Chuunin Exams. Get the picture?" Well at least Temari kept her cool that much. She isn't too back at infiltration.
"The Chuunin Exams, what's that?" If Gaara would just let his sand let go of me I probably would have facepalmed at Naruto's ignorance. "Well…I never heard of any Chuunin exams, believe it."
"I believe it, alright, that you're totally clueless." I hate to admit it but I agree with Temari on that.
"Hey, Boss, those are the Exams that every Genin got to take in order to graduate to being a full on Chuunin." Konohamaru explains and this only gets worse. The fact a little child, not even a Genin yet knows more then you…Oh, Naruto, you haven't changed…
"OOH! Well why did you say so? I am SO there!" Naruto says jollily. Footsteps start again and I sigh again until—
"Hey, you! Identify yourself!" Sasuke demands and I nearly blow a top. Would someone PLEASE GET THIS SAND OFF ME! I THINK I'M GOING TO SCREAM!
"Hm? Ya mean me?" Temari asks dreamily. Ew…
"No. Him. The guy with the gourd on his back." Gaara? So, Sasuke, find him interesting? That can only mean one thing…he wants to fight him. I really don't like that thought at all.
"My name is Gaara…Of the Desert. I'm curious about you too. Who are you?" So it was Sasuke that peaked his interest. That's not good at all.
"I am Sasuke Uchiha." There is silence as the wind blows a different direction and I shiver, which the sand fluctuates and responds to by covering my bare skin. That means bad luck. I don't like where this is leading…
"HI, THERE! I bet you're dying to know my name, right?" Oh, silly Naruto…
"I couldn't care less." Gaara responds. He turns and finally the sound of all three of them escaping into the air ends what other interactions might take place next. Thank God it's over… but wait…GAARA AND THEM LEFT THE OTHER DIRECTION! Don't tell me he intends to leave me here!
"Hey, Konohamaru, do I seem uncool or something?" Naruto inquires and I raise my eyebrow high, uncool? What's the definition of cool in this village?
"Well, compared to Sasuke, yeah, you're pretty lame." Ouch…
"AHH! You're not going to show me up, Sasuke!" Well, considering he just confronted his death with what sounded like a statue's pose, I'd say he just did.
"Back off, Loser…" Footsteps begin to come my way and I struggle, Why hasn't Gaara released his sand? Fuck that question, why did he trap me in it anyway? Did he not want me to get involved? What for? Damn it, what if I need to go to the bathroom or something? UGH!
"Chihiro?" I stop, oh shit… "What the heck are you stuck in?" Naruto asks as he makes his way towards me. Just as he gets near the sand unravels its hold on me and I fall to my knees, a sudden cold burst of air making me shiver. "Hey, are you alright?"
"Who are you talking to, Loser?" Saskue, Sakura, and the three kids turn the corner and see me sitting there like a deer in the headlights. "So it's you." He says, granted we never really hit it off but how rude to be so cold.
"Chihiro! What are you doing here? Aren't you still with the Caravans?" Sakura asks and I push myself to my feet, brushing the sand off my clothes.
"I recently moved back to my home village. I'm here now for the Chuunin Exams." I mumble, trying to make the statement offhanded but it's no use. From what they just saw of Suna, they probably won't enjoy knowing that my original Village is from the land of Wind.
"Really? So you're a ninja too? That so cool! I'm going to join the Exams too!" Naruto burst, his excitement is intoxicating to say the least.
"You usually have to go to school for a year, how did you suddenly become a Genin?" Sasuke asks, which puts Sakura at odds. He's suspicious, he should be but it'd be easier if he wasn't. No problem, I'll just be vague about it. If they don't ask what village I'm from, outright, then it's not lying. Just avoid telling the whole truth.
"My uncle is friends with our Kage, and since my parents were heros the Kage decided to let me join my Uncles group in time for the Chuunin Exams." I conclude, not a lie was put in that sentence. Every single word of it is true. Just not specific in any way.
"So you got lucky." Sasuke mumbles, and I glare at him.
"It has nothing to do with luck. I have never been lucky, the fact is, I am here is because I deserve to be. Don't EVER talk down to me. Just because you think you're superior means nothing to me, because you will be proven very wrong."
"Whatever." He mumbles, I hate your attitude so much.
"Hey, guys, lets not fight. It's been a while since we've seen each other. Come on, let's go get something to eat." Sakura suggests trying to lighten the mood.
"YAY! LETS GO GET SOME RAMEN!" Naruto yells excitedly, causing the kids around him to join in his elation. In a second, the five of them are gone, all except Saskue and I.
"You are from the Hidden Sand aren't you?" I close my eyes and smirk, Sasuke may be a jerk but he isn't stupid.
"You caught me. My home is Suna. That doesn't mean we are all like Kankuro though. In fact, I bet you're just curious about Gaara, am I right?" Saskue nods, but I don't say anything.
"Yeah, is he strong?" He asks, defeated.
"Stronger then you could ever hope to be." I reply and I lift my hair off my shoulder to flash the gruesome scar Gaara had left me. "He didn't even mean to leave this scar. You have no idea who you're dealing with Saskue. In my personal opinion, if I had to pick between facing Gaara or the Devil…I would pick the Devil." I let go of my hair then turn my back to him. I get three steps in until he says something that I never expected to hear.
"So you're scared of him?" I stop then look back over my shoulder, Saskues gaze intense and daring.
"No."
"Huh?"
"I will never be afraid of Gaara, only the thing inside of him that he wishes to satisfy." There is silence and I return my eyes to right in front of me then say, "Please tell Naruto and Sakura that I'm sorry, but I need to go look for my team now." With that I jump into the air and am out of sight.
XxxXxxX
I found Hotaka, Jealous and Vanity wondering the streets, calling my name, I had some fun with them. Knocking over shit near Vanity and such but I got caught by Hotaka soon after. It's a good thing I found them though, it's getting dark out and we need to get to where we are staying. I also need to find Gaara and figure what the hell that, him trapping me and all, was about. As we head back, Jealous makes sure to walk between Vanity and I, which I don't necessarily disagree with. Ever since she found that I talk to Gaara, her dislike of me spiked to an all-time high. Through the whole time walking to Konoha, she resorted to dirty looks, and pointing out each and every single one of my flaws. Apparently, my long hair makes me look like a hobo, then when we decided to rest she stole all of my ponytail holders so I can't even put it up in a braid. I mean, I still have my bright yellow bow that my Mama gave me when I was only four, I always wear it, but it isn't strong enough to hold up all my hair. Vanity may be childish and immature but the stupid shit she pulls really have started to get on my nerves.
"Hotaka, since we still have some time what are we going to do before the exams?" I pose, we got here a lot later then planned because SOMEONE couldn't handle the shit she packed so we had to rest twice as long. It's okay, though, I spent most of my free time slipping bugs into her backpack. I'm sure she'll find them later tonight. So, considering all this, we only have about fourteen hours to do as we please. Yet, since its already nine at night, most of that time will be spent sleeping.
"Junjou, each hour that isn't spent resting for the first test will be used to perfect the plan to overthrow Konoha." For a moment, I am taken off guard. I completely forgot the reason why we came here, I had been caught up in the sights and people that I lost sight of what this is all about. I feel stupid, but at the same time, sad. Naruto and Sakura, even Sasuke, they don't deserve to be betrayed like this. Even though Sakura and Sasuke, granted, get on my nerves, I still think that it sucks that my village demands me to betray them…
"Right…" I mumble under my breath.
"What's wrong?" Jealous asks, but I only shake my head. Even though our role is this whole mission is a small one, I still feel like we're the ones pulling the trigger. I don't like it. When we make it to our rooms in a mostly vacant apartment building, I am delighted to figure out that Gaara is only three doors down.
"Really, what room?" I ask Hotaka who gives me a suspicious look.
"Yeah, I'm not going to tell you that." He says then continues to unpack the things he had stuffed in his backpack.
"What? Why not?" I rave, following him while he makes his way past me.
"Because pregnant ninjas aren't very good for battles." Hotaka throws over his shoulders as he unfolds his matt next to mine.
"P-p-pregnant? You sick bastard! Where did you get an idea like that?" I bellow, my face almost as red as Gaara's firey hair.
"Well, that's how Ryo came to be. Want to hear the story? Maybe you can tell it to him when we get back." I feel my innocence evaporate at that, then slug Hotaka in his gut, throwing him across the other side of the room. I shuffle away from the crime scene as I try my very best not to vomit out my organs.
"Hey, where's Hotaka?" Jealous inquires and I only point to the room I just escaped from. Jealous jogs to the room as I open the door of our apartment I hear him shout out, "Oh my god! Hotaka! Who did this to you!" I close the door and start to wander aimlessly. With my eyes on focused on nothing in particular. Stupid Hotaka, pregnancy? Ha! Like that would happen. Gaara and I are just friends! We're only thirteen, and those assumptions are completely bunk. Why would I want to have his kids? Why would Gaara want me to bare his kids? Ugh, Ojii-san is just so…stupid. For thinking that, I mean. I hate myself…I hate how pathetic I feel, thirteen year-olds shouldn't be aloud to think about romance, or having families. Yet…someday, I do want to have a family. I want to grow old with someone beside me. I want to have a family, all my children happy and I know that I'd love them all very much. They'd have red hair like their father and their grandfather's eyes, they be loudmouthed and unpredictable and make each day an adventure. Maybe I'll have one who is quiet and masked of emotion, just like their father, that'd be okay, though. I'd love them all with every last breath. I smile at these thoughts, then suddenly flush and slam my head against a nearby wall.
"Wh-what am I thinking? I-I-I, I'm going to beat the shit out of Hotaka for putting these thoughts in my head!" But before I have time to turn around and head back I see Jealous just behind me. He's leaning against the wall with an eyebrow raised and a frown on his face. Great, I must have been so occupied in my thoughts that I didn't even hear him come up behind me.
"So, when you're angry you just randomly throw your head into a wall?" I don't answer and he moves over to me. "What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird for a while now."
"I've just had some things on my mind. I guess that they're kind of messing with my moods, huh?" I force a smile but Jealous sees right through it. Taking my hands, he guides me down three flights of stairs and out the door. It's cool outside, and the stars are so high that I can't really imagine it any other way. The painted canvas of so many stars and even the lightly drawn touch of a serine moon seems to echo in my memory. This sky is not like Suna's, even though it is the same sky, this one has a settling feeling while Suna's is twisted with sorrow. I enjoy this night, but it is not the same as home. Even though there was misery in the air, back home there is just a touch of elation. Of adventure, and mystery. I guess, that first night home at Suna will always hold that same sort of feeling to me. Snapping out of my trance I notice that Jealous has brought us to a park, there are no swing-sets or jungle-gyms but there are benches that sit peacefully alone. Leading me to the bench, we sit down together, the moon silently observing us.
"Now, tell me what's been screwing with your mood?" I look over at him, he is dressed all in black and his spiky white hair is brushed where his jagged bangs are hiding most of his eyes.
"Its just this whole, taking over Konoha thing. I have people here I consider friends." I suddenly think of Naruto and his goofy grin and the old people that were always so sweet when I walked by. "The thought of betraying them just…throws me off my game. Doesn't matter though. I need to do it." I'll do it in order to protect Gaara. This last bit, I leave unspoken, Jealous doesn't like it when I bring Gaara up, even though it is rare. Usually its everyone else bringing up his name.
"You know, I don't get you." Jealous says and I am stunned at this. I thought, out of anyone, it was Jealous who understood me the most. I mean, he is so like me, that it's scary. "You're always so, hyper and active. You're stubborn and ambitious. You have no idea what keeping your thoughts to yourself means and you can't keep a level head when confronted. These things I understand, but then there are those rare moments when you share something that people usually don't see. When you look past those flaws in a person others can plainly see and call them friend. Those are the things I don't understand."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Jealous." I reply, focused on only the stars.
"That's another thing I don't understand. You never seem to realize it. No matter how widely you seem to change a person's view, you don't acknowledge that it was your doing so." He reaches behind us and plucks a flower out from a nearby bush and twirls it around in his hand. "I would stay up some nights, just thinking, wondering, 'What is it? What is it that makes her so different? What could it possibly be?' I stayed up for hours on end with just those questions, I could find no answers. Why is that?" He asks but I can only stare back confused by his words. "Then it came to me, I figured out that is because you're special. You're someone people can model themselves after."
"What are you talking about? I am nothing like that. You're just trying to make me feel better." I mumble, but the look in his eyes are hard and sincere.
"Chihiro-baka, have you ever been selfish with your life?" Selfish…I don't like I understand that question.
"What do you mean?"
"Have you ever once thought of your own future? Ever thought what you were going to do for yourself?" I open my mouth but then I stop. I…do I have an answer for that question?
"I-uh…I want to be a ninja for myself." I reply, confident in that answer.
"Baka. That's not for yourself. That's for the sake of protecting Gaara." Jealous replies.
"…"
"I'm selfish, though." I hear this just barely, it's like he doesn't know he said it himself.
"How are you selfish?" I inquire. There is silence.
"Baka…you really haven't figured it out yet? I'm selfish about you!" I blink and face him, what is he talking about? "You've never noticed how I get angry when Gaara comes up? How I hate it when others ask about your feelings for him? Chihiro-baka, do you really not notice my feelings for you?" I stand up, trying not to look at him. Why is this happening? I just want to get these exams over with and now this. Why are feelings so…ugh. I hope Gaara isn't watching. I hope he's obsessed with Saskue right now, I don't want him to get angry with Jealous. "Chihiro…" He places his hands on my cheeks and sinks his lips onto mine. For a moment, I am stunned, what the hell is happening? I push him away, my lips tingling from the warmness of his.
"D-DON'T DO THAT!" I yell, I wrap my hands around myself trying to contain the confusion.
"I'm sorry. I just…couldn't help myself." He whispers. "Chihiro…you really do love Gaara don't you?"
"I…" I rub my eye with the palm of my hand, the wetness trying to escape. "I just…" The truth is, I don't know how to answer that question. I've never felt happier around Gaara, he makes me smile. I'd give my life to protect his, does that mean…I love him?
"Look, Chihiro, I'm sorry I confused you. I just…wanted to make my feelings known." You could just say it instead of adding unneeded contact of our lips to the mix? "You know, you're really special to me and if you are happy with him, then I'll try and support you from the sidelines."
"He does…make me happy." And mad, and sad, and afraid, and annoyed and elated, he just plays with my emotions so easily.
"Then I'm happy with just that. Just…please don't hate me for what I feel, okay? I'll leave you to your thoughts." He says then wanders away. Leaving me in the silence of my own disorder.
"I just wanted to protect him… Why does everyone always ask…if I love him?" I drop to my knees, and a tear rolls from my eyes. Is this what uncertainty does to me? I wipe away the streak of water from my face with the back of my hand and sniffle, loneliness setting in. I remember when I felt hollow, all the terrible memories aloft in my mind, and then he was there and things changed. I owe him my smile, and everything that comes with it. "I'm not in love him…I'm not. I'm…I-am." I'm in love him…
-DISCLAIMER-
That whole middle part with Kankuro, Temari, Naruto and them is obviously from episode 20 and 21 from Naruto. No, I do not own that episode. That was just meant to relay it where Chihiro is there, seeing/hearing it from her point of view. I was disappointed because Chihiro didn't get to see Gaara hanging upside down on that tree branch. :'(
For the Readers:
Hello, there! Lol I am pleased to know you made it this far! I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter, and if not please comment about how I could make it better in the future. Readers are always welcome to share their honest opinions. If you liked it then I'm very glad! Tell me so and I'll keep the drive to advance further in this story!
I sincerely hope to see you next chapter:
"Of First Exams and Being Caught in a Lie"
Thanks so much for reading!
Shiori Mio
!EXTRAS!
FIRST CONTEST! The very first AMU Contest is FINALLY HERE! So I'm not going to waste your time and am just going to tell you what the contest is. Chapter 7 had the place you needed to go to enter the contest so if you forgot just click back and WHALA! So ANYWAY! The contest will be a Drawing Contest in this contest you will be drawing a scene from any one of the chapters. Which ever scene you thought you enjoyed best, just begin to draw it and submit it in. One condition. It HAS to be accurate to the chapter's description. So if it says, idk for example, the scene where Chihiro head butted the wall, you have to draw it close to that. See? Very simple! To enter you must give me notice BEFORE AUGUST 3rd. The end of the contest will be August 6th.
FOR MORE INFORMATION GO TO DEVIANTART AND LOOK AT MY LATEST JOURNAL ENTRIES!
I hope to see a lot of participation!
A/N:
See? A nice, long chapter. I loved writing it. I feel like Chihiro has really come alive, sometimes its hard to keep her in character but somehow when she's not being herself, I think that's when she is most alive. Most people change a little everyday. You are yourself but you play around and those little changes in your habits or language show you're growing. Maturing, or not. I think that Chihiro herself, is probably my most promising character I have ever created. I don't know why, I guess that she just took on a whole life of her own and I really makes me happy.
Sometimes I read stories and I get frustrated because the character is just too perfect, no one could ever live like that. No one could consistently be so level headed and nice. Its impossible. So when I came up with Chihiro I just feel a little bit of pride. Why? Because she's not perfect. She'll never be the level-headed angel or the courteous girl that sits quietly when being called out. She's immature and constantly finding reasons to pick fights, she causes them all the time with her big mouth and she just doesn't know how to swallow her pride. Yet she is selfless and would give her own life away to protect the people she loves. I think this is what makes her seem, the most human.
I'm sorry, lol, I don't mean to sound all caught up in my own character. I just am so happy with this story and I really am thankful for you readers. It was your comments and favorite and fallows, even just your views that made me continue and finally realize that I really do love what I have here and I am just so glad that I can share it with you guys. Really I am.
Thank you so much for reading
Love you guys a lot
Shiori Mio
XxXx
The Crow's Caricature
