Authors Note: This is going to be a long note, sorry. I just wanted to explain some things, I started writing roughly 4 years ago after some horrible personal stuff, it took a while for me to decide to start posting that work and sharing it. Writing for me is a way to escape real life, and all the pain, sadness, tough times etc. I use it as a way to deal with things, to just take a step back. When I started I responded to everything (I still try to), and even now I take every comment to heart, but I have been dealing with some horrible things in real life, things I don't want to get into here. But for the past year some peoples comments on my fics have been making me feel even worse. I love to interact, I love to hear what people think but it hurts to have something I've spent free time working on, using as an escape ripped to shreds. It feels personal, because it is personal. I carried on responding even to all the anger, until last year when I reached boiling point. I stopped writing, I stopped posting. Then this fic was born, and I worked on it privately until I felt ready to share again. By now, real life is getting a lot worse, and I'm tired of being made to feel worse about writing, something that is meant to be fun, all because I can't please everyone (and I really do try to). So if I have an attitude I apologise, but it's born out of years worth of things. Things I can never explain, but being made to feel not good enough in life and here, it hurts, it hurts a lot more, I don't expect people to read my fics, let alone enjoy them. But I just expect common curtsey. If you don't like my work, that's totally okay! But you don't have to go out your way to tell me you don't like it, to tell me you wont be reading, how bad a writer I am. All that does is make me feel worse about my life. I don't see myself as a writer, let alone a good one. I just hope someone might enjoy reading my work. SO truly I am sorry and it's taken me awhile to want to post again.
BUT today is tinaday3w birthday, and I didn't have a gift for her and she said she wanted to read this, so happy birthday sweetie, I hope you enjoy this surprise. And I am sorry for this one.
Oliver stood nervously at the entrance to the small private room where the ceremony would he held. He smiled and nodded as guests started to enter and take their seats. He absently noted everyone except Felicity, who was inevitably getting Thea and the other bridesmaids ready. He hadn't seen any of them this morning, with them all staying in the hotel so they could get ready here.
"Oliver," Roy said stepping closer to shake his hand.
"Roy, glad to see you actually turned up," he commented without thought.
"Of course I did. I might feel a little nervous to be up there with everyone watching but I love Thea, more than anything."
"Good," Oliver said patting him on the back. "That is good to hear."
"Now what are you two discussing?" Felicity's voice carried through the space and Oliver turned to her instantly. Her hair was down, her glasses gone and she was wearing a long pink flowing dress, bright and cheerful as the smile on her face.
"Just discussing me actually turning up," Roy replied.
"Of course you did!" Felicity responded giving Oliver a frown. "But you need to head inside, she shouldn't be too much longer."
"Yeh I suppose you're right," Roy answered before stepping inside.
She turned to Oliver. "He loves your sister and he wouldn't do that to her."
"Well I was checking," he answered with a shrug and she shook her head.
"Unlike other people, that man cares about Thea's future, he cares about her life and he loves her, as she does him."
"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked. "Unlike other people?"
"That's all you took from that?" she asked with a shake of her head. "Where's her father? Where is he?" she asked with a shrug.
"He's probably running late with QC-"
"Well Moira just informed her he wouldn't be attending."
"My mothers here?"
"Yes, it seems at least one of your parents actually cares," she replied with a sigh as she once again played with her chain.
"Where is she?"
"Speaking with Thea in private," she answered a little sharply.
He looked at her noting how she looked a little paler than usual, seemingly rocking on her heels. "Are you okay?" he asked touching her arms.
"I'm just feeling a little woozy. It's been a busy day."
He ran his hands up and down her arms. "Go and sit down," he whispered. "I can take it all from here, you've done enough for us all."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "I know this must be weird."
"No at all," he responded with a soft smile. "Now go sit."
"Thank you," she replied with a smile of her own, before stepping inside. He turned to watch her, unable to take his eyes off her till she was seated and even then he couldn't seem to pull away.
"Oliver," Moira's voice caught his attention.
"Mother," he responded. "Oh Walter, what are you doing here?"
"Thea invited me too, so I thought I'd keep your mother company."
"In your father's absence," she quickly added.
"Where is he?" he asked.
"Where he always is, darling," she answered but he didn't miss the sad glint in her eyes.
"So QC is more important than his own daughter."
Moira sighed a little, her shoulders sagging. "Let's not ruin today with talk of your father," she replied. "You look rather handsome, and Thea looks stunning," she whispered.
"Thank you."
"She truly does," Walter added.
"I only wish I had been the one to reach out properly," she mumbled vaguely. "I wish I had been here to help."
"Well you're here now," Walter responded.
"He's right mom," Oliver added quickly. "You should probably take your seats though, Thea should be down soon."
"Of course," Moira replied placing her hand on his face, staring into his eyes.
"You okay?" he whispered as she almost looked like she was searching his face.
"I'm sorry Oliver, I truly am."
"For what?"
"Many things you can not remember," she added with a sad smile. "But all I wish I could take back."
"Well, you just have to try to make up for it right?" he answered with a shrug, having no idea what any of this was about.
"I suppose," she replied. "I love you sweetie."
"I love you too, mom." She nodded before linking her arm in Walters and stepping in. Oliver frowned for a quick second not understand at all what had happened, or what his mother was sorry for but he was angry.
So he grasped his phone in his pocket, hit the buttons quickly before bringing it to his ear. He glanced towards the stairs to make sure Thea wasn't appearing.
"You've reached the office of Robert Queen, we're unable to take your call right now but leave a message after the beep and we'll try to get back to you." BEEP.
"What is wrong with you? You talk about legacy's and saying the company is special, but where are you? Why aren't you at your daughter's wedding? I have to give her away today because you're too busy with your company. It's clear what legacy means to you dad, and it isn't us. God, moms here alone, well no, moms here with Walter, because we aren't, what? Special enough? I don't care what kind of excuse you have, you are missing this day and you'll never be able to get it back." Oliver hung up with a frustrated groan. He pushed the phone back into his pocket just as Thea appeared with a group of ladies he didn't recognise and of course Laurel and Becca.
"Uncle Ollie!" Becca screeched as she ran at him. Her small arms wrapped around one of his legs as she squeezed it as tightly as possible. His eyes glanced to Laurel who was chuckling, before looking down at the little girl. She stared up at him with big round eyes, looking adorable in her little dress and pure innocent expression. "I missed you," she mumbled letting go and stepping back. He didn't even think about his next actions as he got down on one knee and scooped her up into a hug. She giggled wrapping her arms around his neck as he spun them around a few times.
"I missed you too," he found himself saying and Becca looked at him in awe.
"You member me?" she asked curiously.
"How could I ever forget you," he answered as Laurel smiled at him. He placed her back down on the ground, and she straightened her dress clearly having seen the other ladies doing it.
"Thank you," Laurel whispered to him as he kissed her cheek in greeting. "She has missed you."
"It felt normal, natural even," he commented.
"Good, because that's the Ollie we remember," Laurel added before turning to Becca. "So sweetie we better get go get your basket, the music's about to start."
"Kay, mommy," she replied happily taking her hand. Oliver looked up as the bridesmaids took their places in order and then he noticed Thea fully. She was in a beautiful ivory gown, that seemed like it was perfectly made for her in every way.
"You look beautiful," he said happily placing a kiss to her cheek.
"You don't look too bad yourself," Thea replied with a cheeky wink. She held her bouquet in one hand as she hugged him with the other. "Thank you for today, Ollie, for giving me away."
"It's my pleasure, Speedy," he answered with a big grin. "I'm just sorry that-"
"No," she said sternly as she pulled back to look at him. "The people I want are here, the people I love and love me are here, and the most important person gets the honour of giving me away."
"I love you, Thea," he said seriously.
"I love you too," she replied with a brilliant grin. "Now are you ready?"
"Whenever you are." She nodded then as he held his arm out for her. Becca had already sprinkled her flowers down the aisle before sitting with Tommy and Laurel on the front row, as well as Felicity.
The bridesmaids started to slowly make their way down, and then Thea's arm tightened around Oliver's just before they started to make their way down too. Everyone was watching, all heads turned towards them as the music played but Roy remained facing forward until they reached him. Oliver handed Thea to Roy giving him a quick nod before he took his place sitting beside Felicity.
"Ladies and Gentleman, we welcome you all here today to witness the union, of Roy William Harper Junior, and Thea Dearden Queen." Oliver couldn't help but notice the calming effect that Thea had on Roy; just from her touch he seemed to settle.
He zoned out, not listening to the vows but rather glancing down at the woman sat beside him. He stared at her slightly pinked cheeks, glad to see her colour had returned. Her eyes were completely fixed on the scene in front of her. They eyes were bright, and shining with tears she had yet to shed but she was smiling happily. He could see the chain around her neck, and his wedding band displayed upon it. Absently she had her hand to her chest as her fingers stroked at his band. He knew she must be thinking of their wedding, thinking of what it all meant and he couldn't help but wonder about it too.
He could see the light catch on her engagement ring, and wedding band as she continued to touch his. He stared down at her picturing her in the dress he had seen in those photos and videos, wondering what it would have felt to slip those rings onto her finger. He couldn't help but glance down at his hand, the skin slightly discoloured where he'd been wearing the ring for a year, only now it was gone. He tilted his head picturing it, trying to imagine the weight on his finger.
His breathing stuttered in his chest when Felicity's free hand snaked out and took his. He linked their fingers marvelling at how small her hand actually was in his, how much she must have trusted in him over the years and he in her. He slowly moved his eyes upwards to her face, a tear was rolling down her cheek before she turned her head towards him and her whole face lit up. She squeezed his hand, and her eyes were shining brightly as he gazed into them, completely captivated by the sheer emotion written all over face.
"I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."
The crowd erupted into applause, everyone standing to their feet cheering. Oliver followed suit as Felicity let his hand go and clapped. He finally looked at Thea who looked impossibly happy as they turned to face the people they loved as husband and wife.
It was a few hours later and the party was in full swing, people had ate and now they were chatting and dancing. Oliver leant against the bar, unable to take his eyes from Felicity who was dancing with Becca, Laurel and Thea.
"Makes you appreciate what you have," Diggle spoke and Oliver turned his head towards him.
"Are you working security here too?"
Diggle chuckled. "My men are, but Lyla and I were invited."
"Ah, that makes sense you do work with my sister," Oliver commented, his eyes drawn back to the group who were giggling.
"You seem to find it hard to keep your eyes off her." Diggle nodded in the group's direction.
"It's my sister's wedding, of course I'm going to be looking at her."
"I didn't mean Thea," he replied with a smirk as Oliver turned to raise an eyebrow at him.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Oh come on man, you've been staring at Felicity the entire time."
"And? We're married," he answered with a shrug.
"Yeh but you don't remember that," he countered.
"So what? She's still my wife, I'm her husband," he ushered out too quickly. "I mean, it's not like I've had much of a choice," he mumbled.
Instantly Diggle frowned. "Seriously you have had a choice since the moment you woke up in hospital, you chose to stay with Felicity in your home, you chose to invite her and you're choosing to spend this evening staring at her and in her presence." Oliver didn't say a word as he glanced back in her direction with a sigh.
"Do you want a drink man?"
"Nah, I'm not drinking anymore," he answered automatically.
"Okay," Diggle responded with a nod. "How about Felicity?"
"She hasn't been drinking either," he mumbled.
"Oh she hasn't?"
"No, she wanted to support me and my choices," he replied as he watched her lift Becca up and spin her.
"Sounds like her," he commented. "How's the therapy going?"
Instantly he turned towards him. "How'd you know about that?"
"I just presumed with the lack of booze and Felicity supporting you that you'd been."
"Well that's none of your business," he snapped.
"Wow man," Dig threw his hands up in defence, "it's nothing to be ashamed of."
"I'm not ashamed," he grumbled forcing his hands into his pockets. He watched as Diggle stared at him, glancing up and down as if able to read him from his body language alone. "I need some air," he spoke as he stepped away not allowing for a response.
He didn't stop walking till he reached the foyer and dropped into an empty seat by the window, where it was more peaceful. He sighed heavily as he pulled his phone out his pocket for a distraction. He had a missed call from his father and a voicemail message.
"Oh great," he mumbled to himself.
"Message 1, received today at 7.33pm."
"I don't know how you dare Oliver!" Roberts voice was angry and loud. "There have been plenty of important things you've missed over the years with your drinking, and drug taking and of course your latest woman. But I refuse to have you judge me! I'm happy your mother is there with Walter as I refuse to stand by and watch Thea marry someone far below herself! A criminal! A man who was a petty thief! A man who served jail time and is not to be trusted, is the worst kind of man your sister could be marrying! So no I won't be there to celebrate their reunion." Oliver ended the call in a stunned silence. His sister was marrying a criminal, a dishonest man who was not and would never be good enough for her. His mind was spinning as he tried to come to terms with what he'd just heard.
He stood up without thought as he marched back into the party. He walked straight to the bar. "Two double whiskeys, neat," he told the bartender who nodded in response. He stood there patiently as the man poured out the two drinks and before he even put the bottle down he drank them both in two giant gulps. "Two more please." Once again the bartender nodded in response.
Felicity span Becca around unable to stop smiling at her. Oliver had been getting closer and closer, he'd asked more questions and seemed genuinely interested in their past over the last several weeks. But today, the way he looked at her, it made her genuinely feel like it was all going to be okay, that maybe they could work out their future together and it wouldn't be as scary as she had been imaging lately. She smiled to herself as a figure loomed near her.
"Felicity?"
She glanced up to see Diggle smiling at her with a frown. "Hey Dig, everything okay?" she asked.
"Can I have a word about Oliver?"
"Of course."
Laurel looked in their direction before turning to her daughter. "Becca honey, how about we go find Daddy?"
"Sure mommy," she responded happily.
"What's going on with Ollie?" Thea asked having heard the conversation topic.
"Nothing, I just wanted to speak to Felicity."
"Whatever your concern is you can tell me too," Thea added quickly as they stepped to the side of the dance floor.
"Well I couldn't help but notice he isn't drinking."
"No, he... he's been getting help, and not drinking is a part of that," Felicity replied cheerfully.
"Have you been with him?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Did you arrange any of the sessions? Did you go to any with him or drop him off anywhere?"
Felicity frowned. "No I haven't, he said he wanted to sort it all. That it was his responsibility."
"Are you trying to insinuate he hasn't been going?" Thea asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"It's just when I mentioned it, he got really uptight about it."
"Well some people aren't comfortable talking about those things," Thea added quickly.
"But the fact you haven't seen him go yourself, that he gets so defensive and even walks away from a conversation, doesn't that strike you as odd."
Felicity frowned a little, remembering his behaviour when she had tried to bring it up too and then she saw him stood at the bar. "He... he's been lying," she mumbled.
"How can you know that?" Thea asked.
"He's at the bar drinking now," she answered, and instantly Thea reacted. She was marching over there and Felicity hurried behind her, with Diggle close behind.
"You're not to serve this man another alcoholic beverage, you got that?" Thea directed to the bartender.
"Of course, ma'am."
"What? You don't get to make that decision!" Oliver snapped angrily.
"Well considering you can't help yourself, I think we all have to make that decision for you!"
"Says the woman who's marrying well below what she should be," he snarled back. Felicity gasped, completely shocked by his comment.
"What did you just say to me?" Thea snapped.
"Well considering dad called to tell me the real reason he isn't here is because your, oh so beloved, husband is a petty thief, I don't think you're good at making decisions either," he retorted with a smug grin. The emotions on Thea's face were like a kaleidoscope. She huffed in anger, frustration, pure unhappiness, to sadness before finally settling on disappointment.
"Get out," she uttered.
"What did you say?" he asked.
"Just get out of here. I already have a father whose disappointed me enough with his deceit and lies over the years, as well as his hypocritical judgement, I don't need you to do it either. So just leave before you embarrass yourself further," she said with a wave of her hand.
"You can't get rid of me-" Felicity stepped forward instantly placing her hand on his chest.
"We're going outside for some fresh air, now." Leaving no room for him to argue. She helped him to his feet as he made for the exit.
"Thank you," Thea mumbled.
"Forget about him, go dance with your husband and enjoy your evening." She nodded before she turned back to the party plastering a smile on her face.
"Are you going to be okay?" Diggle asked.
"Give us a little while, then come check on us. I don't think anything will happen but I might need help carrying him to bed," she answered.
"Where you going?"
"Just out front, away from all the party guests."
"Okay, I'll give you 15 minutes." Felicity nodded before she followed Oliver out into the foyer. She grasped his arm leading out onto the small front yard of the hotel.
There was no one around as he stood there his arms folded over his chest. "So?" he asked tilting his head clearly expecting a fight.
Felicity sighed before speaking calmly, "Did you mean what you just said?"
"Which part?" he asked anger still in his tone. "That she has no right to tell me what to do? Or that her husband's a criminal?"
"No, the fact she's marrying below what she should?" She stood a little straighter waiting for his response.
"Yes! Where's he even from? What sort of a life can he give her?" he spat out waving his arm around.
"He's from the Glades, he made bad decisions and got into some bad situations but he turned his life around-"
"People don't change," he replied with a dry laugh.
"You did," she answered. "And he has. And to answer your question, he gives her unconditional love, he supports her, and pushes her just as she does him. They're partners and equals, who accept each other's flaws."
He laughed right in her face. "You mean she supports him!"
"And so what if she does?" she snapped back unable to hide the anger any longer.
"This is the 21st century Oliver. They love each other, they care about each other, they both work and earn money! What is so wrong with that?"
"HE'S FROM THE GLADES AND A CRIMINAL!" he bellowed stepping closer to her.
She craned her neck to look into his eyes, the detest and belief she saw frightened her immensely. She stood there frozen as he made no movement, his chest rise and falling rapidly. "I can't do this," she whispered taking several steps back.
"What?" he asked genuinely confused.
"I can't do this anymore, Oliver," she replied.
"Well you were the one who wanted to come out here," he snapped.
"I didn't mean that, I meant us." His eyes widened as the words slowly sank in. "I'm from Vegas, my mother was a cocktail waitress who worked in numerous casinos trying to earn enough money for us to live. I went to MIT on a full scholarship, and used to be a hacktivist in college, so a criminal." Oliver stood there not speaking as she looked at him waiting for any sign of him interrupting before she continued. "So if Roy isn't good enough for Thea, then I'm not good enough for you."
"But…" he mumbled clearly searching for words.
"I've been trying desperately to reassure myself that we could possibly get some semblance of normality in our lives. That you might remember," her voice cracked as she carried on. "That we could have a future but I guess that was a dream."
"No," he whispered trying to step closer.
"Look, it's been 3 months, and you're clearly miserable-"
"I'm not!" he interrupted in protest.
"You lied to me about getting help-"
"I can explain," he interrupted once more.
"You don't need to," she said sadly trying to hold back the tears. "I wasn't motivation enough, and it's very clear I'm not helping you, so I need to take a step back to help your recovery because I'm just a stranger to you. So you should move back into Queen Mansion, do what makes you happy rather than living in a life you have no memory of." She took a shuddering breath. "I should have done this sooner, I guess… I was being selfish and for that I'm truly sorry."
"You weren't selfish, you never could be."
She swallowed hard trying to dislodge the lump now in her throat, because he truly had no idea how selfish she was actually being. "You have no idea," she mumbled wiping away the tears that she couldn't stop from escaping. "Maybe some time apart is what we both need?"
"But not forever."
She took a deep breath trying to control herself before she found the right words. "We'll see," she answered trying not to give him any false hope or herself any. "I'll always be a part of your life if you want me to be."
He nodded his head, his shoulders slumped and he looked truly devastated. "Okay."
She walked up to him with purpose and stood on her tiptoes to place a kiss to his cheek, he wrapped his arms around her, hugging her before she could pull back. "I'll always love you," she whispered into his ear.
"I'm not trying to hurt you or anyone," he whispered in response, "but I'm just so tired of disappointing everyone."
"I know," she mumbled back, hugging him a little tighter.
"I'm so sorry," he breathed into her ear his lip quaking.
She pulled back, and out of the corner of her eye she could see Diggle was stood in the entrance watching. "How do you look at the guy you love and tell yourself to walk away," she uttered quietly, staring at his face trying to remember the good times. She could see the tears in his eyes before she turned away and headed towards where the cars were parked.
"Felicity," he called after her. Slowly she turned to face him, tears rolling down her cheeks as she didn't try to stop them anymore. "I hope one day I can love the way you love me."
"You figured it out once, you'll do it again," she answered with a brilliant smile, genuinely wishing him happiness. He nodded in response as she turned and walked away, she didn't look back as she heard Diggle approaching him.
