*Author's Note* Truly thank you to those who commented and for the well wishes. I really do appreciate it. (lvk1978 and SpunkRansom101)
I do think writing is good for me right now, so I'm going to try really hard to keep it going. I didn't anticipate posting another chapter so soon, especially since it seems most of my readers have disappeared (boo), but I already had some of this typed out and the rest just wrote itself. It's more dialogue heavy and I enjoyed writing it. I quite like Alice, she's feisty. :)
As to a Bella POV (KristenStewartFan), interesting idea, I'd never really given it much thought. For now I think I'll stick with Edward, but I'm not against the idea of following Bella for awhile. We'll see!
Everything belongs to Stephenie. Again, please remember I have no spell check so forgive any stupid errors. Reviews are wonderful! I've started writing the next chapter (which I'm also loving!). Not to bribe you (ok, maybe a little), but reviews give me incentive to finish it...
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No one ever takes the blame
But everyone is searching for a cure to the pain
Hanson - Strong Enough To Break
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I had been on the couch for just a few minutes before I heard voices downstairs. My family had returned. I could hear everything as Carlisle somberly explained the ultimatum he had given me. They were all silent, though every mind was racing. They were all worried for me. They didn't want me to go. I felt another pang of guilt for even considering leaving them just so I could exact revenge on some weak little girl. I heard soft footsteps slowly, shyly, coming up the stairs, approaching my room. My first instinct was Esme, but it wasn't her.
Alice.
I groaned, fixing my eyes on the ceiling, a harsh scowl forming on my lips. I had no choice but to see her, it's not like I could close my door and lock her out since it was currently resting in pieces against the remnants of my wall.
She hesitantly poked her head inside the door frame. I flicked my eyes to her briefly but refused to speak. She took it as a sign to enter, and came over to me, sitting gingerly on the edge of the couch, facing me with her tiny hands clasped tightly into a worried ball in her lap.
"I'm so sorry, Edward." She whispered. My face softened immediately. How could it not? She was being sincere and after all, through all of our fights, she was still my sister. My kindred spirit.
She bit her lip. "I never meant for anything like this to happen." She started softly, before suddenly throwing her arms around my neck, completely overcome by emotion. "So, so sorry." Came her muffled voice on my shoulder, rising from a whisper to a wail.
"I know, Alice. I'm not angry with you about this." And it was true, I knew if she had foreseen this particular outcome, she wouldn't have hatched her plan to begin with. I patted her back gently. "Though I'm still holding a grudge about the Newton thing." She let go of my neck and pulled away, smiling sheepishly.
"That is still pretty funny."
"Uh-huh, I'm sure." I replied sarcastically. "You're going to pay for that one."
"Good." She grinned. I raised an eyebrow, confused as to why she was looking forward to payback. My face softened as I heard the answer run through her mind, but I allowed her the chance to speak the words out loud.
"If you're getting revenge on me, that means you're still around." She explained. "I don't want you to leave."
"I don't want to leave either, Alice. But this is going to be a very difficult process. Decades of habit won't change easily." I sighed and threw my arms under my head.
"So what are you going to do?"
"Try not to kill the Swan girl."
"I think you'll have to do better than that. Not murdering some innocent girl doesn't really scream 'I'm trying to win back your trust and respect', it just means your doing what you should be doing anyway, or I guess in your case not doing."
"She's hardly innocent, Alice. You should know."
"I put her up to it, Edward." She emphasized my name.
"She didn't have to do it, Alice." I countered, saying her name as pointedly as she had done mine. My mind flashed back to that night.
Bella, matching my charm, taking me upstairs, kissing me...leaving me...Newton laughing...
"Stupid prick." I growled.
"Uh?" She looked at me strangely.
Whoops, said it out loud.
"Newton."
"Oh." A look of understanding swept across her features. "Yeah, he's getting quite a laugh out of that one."
"I can imagine."
"I think he's jealous, actually." She stated.
"Humph." I rolled my eyes.
"No, really. You got further with Bella than he has."
"Hardly, it was all a trick." I scoffed at the idea.
"Doesn't mean he's not jealous though." She was sure, I could tell by her tone. "Listen to his mind next time you're near, I bet you he is." She gloated and I watched as the vision of a jealous Newton flowed through her head.
"Take a bet against you? I think you're going crazy, darling." I teased.
We smiled, genuinely smiled, at each other. It was a nice feeling. I didn't want to break our camaraderie, but I still had some questions that needed answering.
I began with what I already knew. "So you knew I couldn't read her mind."
"Yes." She bopped her head in affirmation.
"And when she moved to town you made it a point to befriend her."
"Yes, though I think I would have liked to meet her anyways. I do like her."
I continued, ignoring her last statement of betrayal...
Humph, liking the enemy...
"Though you lied to me and told me you had never met her."
"Yes, you would have suspected something if I had met her and not told you."
The calmness in her answers and her matter of fact tone were keeping my anger down as I tried to hold back my explosive temper, reminding myself that she had been sorry.
"You convinced her to seduce me and then leave me horny to embarrass me."
"Yes." A small giggle broke through her calm exterior. Likewise, I could feel my temper doing the same thing. I took a deep breath to center myself.
"You never actually saw a vision of the two of us as a couple."
"No!" She called out, startling me. "I did, that part is true. You could have been."
I rolled my eyes again, of course she would have, she was always trying to warp my life to fit her perfect image. And then a thought dawned on me, the same one I had thought before when I was too busy trying to kill her to ask it.
Geez, I sure am trying to kill a lot of people lately...I mused to myself, before getting back to the task at hand...
"Fine, but that also means you saw a vision of me screwing her up against a wall."
Alice bit her lip. "She had me worried for a minute there. She lost some of her resolve."
"Really?" I had expected her to disagree with me.
"Briefly, Edward." She emphasized, noticing how my eyes had lit up.
"Ha! Ha HA! I knew it!" I practically crowed in delight. Oh, I was so going to use it against her. I wasn't sure how, but I knew it would come in handy some day. She HAD wanted me.
"It doesn't mean anything, Edward. It only lasted for a second and then disappeared." Alice interjected.
"I don't care! It doesn't matter, she wanted me!" I was definitely gloating. "Ha, she's not as big and bad as she wants to be."
"She's not big and bad at all, Edward! She's just a helpless little girl, and don't you forget that!" She had raised her voice. I took in another deep breath, steadying myself. I had let my ego take over once again. It was going to be a hard time trying to keep myself and check.
For the family...so I can stay...I reminded myself.
I nodded my head sheepishly and sighed. She gave me a sympathetic smile.
"So what are we going to do about you and our little Miss Swan?" She murmured, seemingly to herself, though I answered anyway.
"Keep me from ripping out her throat." I deadpanned. "That seems the logical thing to do."
"Really, Edward, when did you become such a Negative Nancy?" She chided me.
I didn't answer.
She has a point.
She averted her eyes and pretended to be fascinated by the hem of her skirt.
"I think you should apologize to her."
"Ha. Now I know you're crazy." I chuckled.
"I'm not joking."
This sent me sitting straight up on the couch. Her eyes quickly darted to meet mine, as calm and resolved as mine were wild and angry.
"Why the fuck should I apologize to her?" My voice was louder than I had intended. But if Carlisle brought out the nerves in me, then Alice surely brought out my temper.
"Tsk tsk. Didn't Esme already scold you once today for language?" She reprimanded.
"Fuck off." I scowled. "Really, why the hell should I apologize to her? Seems like it should be the other way around."
"Really?" Her voice raised a few decibels. "You really think that? Ugh, you ARE a pig!" She punched me on the arm. I rubbed the spot. She was quite strong. She smiled smugly and I quit rubbing, not wanting to give her any more satisfaction. I sat my jaw in a hard line, refusing to back down.
"She used me!" I bellowed
"Wasn't that YOUR plan? She just beat you to it, you stupid fucking jackass." She was screaming at me now, matching the level of my voice, though in a high soprano that I'm sure only vampires, and dogs, could hear.
"Tsk tsk. Language." I mocked back to her as obnoxiously as possible. She ignored me, choosing to continue her tirade instead.
"You were going to take that poor girl upstairs, fuck her, and then leave with no intentions of ever speaking to her again. And she knew it. That is despicable, my dear dumbass brother, and yes, I do think she is owed an apology for it..." I opened my mouth, prepared to argue again, but she cut me off.
"Plus, it would impress Carlisle." That shut me up. I narrowed my eyes.
"Explain."
"You need to show Carlisle that you're serious about changing, right?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, think about it, brainiac. You taking the initiative, showing some remorse for your actions. I'm sure it would make a much better impression than you just 'not ripping out her throat'". She mocked me, even using air quotes.
I hate air quotes.
"I fucking hate air quotes." I growled.
"I know, you dick." And then she stuck her tongue out at me.
"Real mature, Alice, real mature."
"Ha. Says you? That's rich."
I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off once again.
"Oh! I'll help you!" She clapped her hands excitedly.
"Help with what?" I demanded, utterly confused by her sudden change in demeanor. Then I saw it, the vision dancing behind her eyes. She was going to go with me to Bella's. "Moral support" or some bullshit like that.
"No, no way Alice. I already said no. I'm not doing that."
"C'mon, Edward, put your pride aside for once. You know it would impress Carlisle." She practically sang that last bit.
"Absolutely not." I held firm, but ultimately, I knew she was right. And she definitely knew it. She grinned knowingly.
"I'll be waiting for you downstairs. I'll go with you, for moral support." She actually used the wording. With that she blissfully skipped out of the room. I stared at her retreating back and sighed. I contemplated just ignoring her and staying in my room, but that would just mean she would come up later and harass me again. I sighed loudly.
"I give up." I muttered as I got up and sulked downstairs.
"C'mon, let's get this over with." I moaned as I rounded the corner into the living room where I knew she stood, waiting.
Esme and Carlisle, who had been in deep conversation on the couch (about me, of course) looked up as I came into view. Esme's face was worried and I gave her a weak smile in an attempt to calm her nerves. I really did love my mother and hated to see her worry over me. Alice squealed in excitement and ran over to my side, grabbing my hand, and practically dragging me towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Esme quickly asked before we were out of sight.
"We're going over to Bella's." Alice responded jubilantly. "Edward is going to apologize."
I caught just a brief glimpse of Carlise's proud face before Alice hauled me out the door.
Well, I guess this is a step in the right direction. A very, very painful one.
