I do not own these characters they are simply borrowed from Stephenie Meyer for my fancy!
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BPOV
I came to on one of the couches feeling hands stroking my hair. I opened my eyes and saw concerned faces staring down at me. Oh Shit. Now what were they going to think. I thought I would have more time to explain myself before doing yet another embarrassing thing. I quickly sat up.
"Bella" I could hear the concern in Carlisle's voice "What happened? Do you need to hunt? Has this happened before?"
I closed my eyes and sighed "It has been a long day, can we not go back to my house? I promise I will explain once we get there." The weakness was overcoming me and I struggled to maintain myself. One minute at a time….hold on to it…..I chanted the mantra over and over again in my head.
Alice whispered something to Rosalie that I did not catch and they both came over and helped me up. She seemed to know I needed the assistance, to know that I was weakening quickly. I looked around the room. Jasper and Emmett were standing to the side and slightly behind Edward who honestly looked as if he wanted to kill me. His expression was thunderous and his fists were clenched tightly at his side. I shrunk back towards Alice, shaking. Rosalie hissed and shot a venomous look at Edward. Jasper put his hand on Edward's arm, but he just snarled and shook it off.
"I'm sorry. I….I….didn't think you might not want to come, or to see me. How thoughtless and selfish of me" I murmured, hurt deeply by this reaction. I knew he did not love me, but I did not realize he felt this strongly towards me now. I turned and open the door to the dressing room. "Ange, please have my car brought around" I managed politely, all the while screaming inside my head.
Carlisle cleared his throat embarrassed "Son" he chastised. I stiffened, and walked out of the room. I heard a loud commotion behind me but kept walking. I was beyond all caring at this point. All the hopes that I had held on to for the past two years had just been crushed. I was lucky if I was going to make it home without falling apart, and for that I did NOT want an audience. How could I have been so stupid? Maybe I should have stayed in Italy, should have pretended, he would have taken me either way, I knew that. I touched the pendant between my breasts. My driver quickly ran around the car and opened the door for me. I was shaking hard now with the effort to hold onto myself. I took a deep breath.
The Cullen's suddenly came rushing out of the building behind me and in that split second I lost my control. Jasper stumbled, and cried out, his hand going to his head as my emotions hit him hard. Shit! Get a grip Bella I told myself. I took a shaky breath. Hold on to it Bella. But I was too tired, emotionally and physically. My vampire gift was that I could shield myself. I could shield my thoughts, my emotions, my scent, and my future. This gift had a curse though. A heavy price to pay. I was the only vampire ever created that required sleep. Yes, sleep. How pitiful could I get? I was not supposed to have limitations, but if I pushed myself too far, if I exhausted myself, I could not shield myself. I was still weak, helpless little Bella, and this is what I did not want them to know. I hung my head in shame. It was too late….they would not want me now, he would not want……
Edward suddenly pushed past Esme and rushed towards me his face twisted in pain. Just as suddenly he stopped and gasped. He looked at me incredulously. He had heard my thoughts.
"No Bella" his voice was husky with emotion as he stepped towards me "Stop telling yourself that. Of course we want you. I……I…. want…" he stopped.
I sighed frustrated "That's okay Edward; you don't need to feel guilty. You always did blame yourself for everything" I lifted my head and looked at them all staring at me "I am going home. If you want to come, you may follow. I will…..rest….." I choked, ashamed "then I will explain everything." Without saying another word I climbed into the car, shut the door and quietly fell apart.
