A Week Later
At this moment the only thing I had to comfort me was my music and my studio, once again I was alone. I was left to think about recent events which I knew wasn't going to have a good outcome.
"As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering will I, ever see another sunrise?
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's too late to pick up the value of my life
And you can see my heart, beating
Oh oh you can see it through my chest
Said I'm terrified, but I'm not leaving
Know that I must pass this test
And you can see my heart, beating
Oh you can see it through my chest
I I I'm terrified but I'm not leaving (no, no)
Know that I must pass this test
So just pull the trigger"
Jacob had to leave and do some work for his dad, and I was left to think of Edward, I was in some state of depression, well I could only guess, but I was alone and left to think and the song is what came out of my raw emotion. I longed to be with him, but I couldn't give in that easily, I had to make some stand. I turned around to see Alice, I was surprised she hadn't contacted me since I got out.
"This was triggered by your feelings for Edwards wasn't it?"
"What difference does it make Alice?"
I'm she could hear me trembling. In the past week I have had more roses, chocolate, a ticket for a two week holiday to Australia, a new car and a dozen letters telling me he is sorry. I know he is really trying but that isn't what I want, I don't want all these material gifts, I want to know he has my back no matter what happens.
"Alice I am so sorry I didn't mean to be so harsh, but …"
I couldn't help it just happened, I totally broke down, fell to pieces on the floor in front of Alice, and I couldn't even prevent it, what was going on with me? My emotions were all over the place, I was supposed to be starting a fresh, and there is just more drama, more heart ache. Alice grabbed me, from what Jacob told me she could see the future and probably saw this coming, I suppose it was a good quality, she was hear being the listening ear I always was back home. I was always to busy trying to look after other people I never really took after myself and I guess this is how it has shown itself.
"You do know he loves you, I can see it, and I know you love him."
"Alice, the only problem is I love Jacob too."
My sobs grew more intense and dramatic, I could barely breath. I don't think I have ever cried so much, I didn't even cry this hard when I heard about Bella I just spent most nights for the best part of a month blaming myself and drinking away the pain. The only problem was eighteen is the legal drinking age in England, but hear it is twenty one, I suppose that was the reason my parents moved me out here, and I guess its better for me in the long run.
"They just going to both have to prove themselves to you."
"Alice stop joking, what am I going to do?"
Alice's comment had lightened the mood, could you imagine Edward and Jacob fighting over mean, I mean, I'm nothing special. I was more of an emotional wreck than the happy, playful Lexy I set out to be. Knowing that broke my own heart. To know I was fooling myself into thinking everything was ok, when it wasn't.
"I wasn't if they both have feelings for you, and you do for them, they are going to have to show you how much you mean to them it's the only way I can think of deciding, well that how I would do it."
"Hey Alice, have you got a good voice?"
"I would say so why do you ask, oh wait, I know because you think one of your songs would be good as a duet?"
"Damb your good."
I flicked through the songs I had wrote over the past to days, I had to find that song, oh there it was, it was perfect.
"Get your pixie arse into the studio Alice."
When we were in there it was like we had never stopped talking I felt alive in there, singing my songs, with my best friend.
"Can't waste time so give it a moment
I realized nothing's broken
No need to worry about everything I've done
Live every second like it was my last one
Don't look back got a new direction
I loved you once and I needed protection
You're still a part of everything I do
You're on my heart just like a tattoo"
It sounded amazing Alice was just being modest her voice was had me awestruck, I didn't realise such a big, beautiful voice was hidden behind her small pixie physique. She was truly the best friend everyone wishes for. I think this is what I need to get me back on track.
"Wow that was a total thrill, we rocked."
"Alice you still amaze me, what do you think about joining me and starting a singing career? Nothing serious, just like a hobby to keep us feeling alive."
"Lexy, I think its just what everyone needs."
That was it, me and Alice were going to set off an a new, girly adventure into the world of performing. I know it won't fly off the rails. Jacob has repeatedly told me to share my voice and I think now is an excellent time, I have Alice by my side, and with her and our tunes, I could throw all my troubles into my work. Hopefully I will eventually be able to sort out the Edward and Jacob situation.
Short chapter nothing special just a little chapter dedicated to Alice and Lexy's Friendship
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