Summary: Ever had that annoying habit of thinking up what ifs when you're down? Making up random scenarios in your head and wondering what the outcomes would be for each one? If only we could run our lives according to what we come up with. If only, in a perfect world, maybe. If only Derek hale hadn't tossed me aside like I meant nothing at all….yeah…if only.
A/N: Only a few reviews this time it seems but I don't care! Thank you to those that did. I appreciate it greatly and your help means a lot to me! =)
Kira's POV
"I'm not getting out." I whispered out sadly. Both Derek and Scott were already outside waiting for me to get out of my own car. Why am I here? Why the hell did I even come here in the first place? I couldn't stop the questions from crossing my mind as I looked at the glass sliding doors of the building in front of us. I tried to focus on all the scents coming from there. It smelled of death…
"Kira, you need to come see this too." Derek spoke as he stood on my side of the car. I glared at him before staring up ahead of me again, my hands tightening against the steering wheel.
"No I don't…I saw enough. I saw him before I left; I don't need to be reminded of what happened, Derek. If you need me to testify, fine, I will. I'll be here when you two are done." With that said, it was final. I wasn't going up there. I could already tell Peter hadn't gotten any better; he was still the same as he was when I last saw him five years ago. I wouldn't torment myself any further by seeing what my lack of success had caused. I felt the metal under my hands creak a bit and I released the steering wheel. When I looked up, I realized the other two had already left.
Was I being a coward in not going in? Was I being stupid for letting the past catch up to me? First my platonic affection for Scott and Stiles, then my old feelings for Derek and now…Peter Hale's seemingly live body. I wanted to forget and move on didn't I? I shouldn't run from my past then! I should confront it dead on. Look it dead in the eye and show that I'm strong, that I've changed and am no longer that little girl that required everyone's help. I'm strong all on my own. I could go in there and come out unscathed. Right?
Derek's POV
I was trying to tell Scott what happened those six years ago. It was a couple of months shy of my eighteenth birthday and Kira was already sixteen. We were both at Beacon High at the time; Laura was twenty-one and in college. I just remember someone calling out for Kira on the intercom, I figured she was in trouble and didn't think anything of it. She was a sophomore at the time and I was a senior. Who would have thought I wouldn't finish my last year at that place because of what happened. I never did find out what happened that Kira ended up at the fire.
I tried to focus and tell Scott, but looking at my uncle, Peter, I felt like I was suddenly five years younger. I hadn't come back to visit him in five years. I remember when I did, I ran into Kira who was leaving this place. That was the last time I saw her. I guess I shouldn't blame her for not wanting to come, that's why I was surprised when her scent grew stronger as she drew closer.
"Five years ago, my sister and I were at school, Kira was living with us at the time." I pretended not to notice as she hung her head by the door.
"Why was she with you?" She sighed at that and Scott finally took notice of Kira's presence.
"The principle called me out, saying my guardian was here. I figured it was one of the Hales. My father had left a year after my mother's passing, as you know. What you don't know is that I didn't go to the orphanage, I was left under the care of the Hales by my father with a promise that he would return, but he hadn't. So imagine my surprise when he shows up….at school of all places. I remember staring at him for the longest, thinking if I stared long enough he'd suddenly disappear….again." I could see how hard it was for her to say this. She was quiet for a while before she shook her head, probably bringing herself back to the now and not the then.
"Anyways…he tried to talk to me…I wouldn't listen and ran for it. I knew I'd probably get in trouble for ditching school, but I had grown attached to one of the Hales…he was like my brother…the one I lost. He was the same age as me and was going under the change later than the rest of us." She sighed and I saw her eyes fill with moisture at the thought of Alex. "He was at home because he was afraid of hurting anyone…Alex always was an angel..." she laughed at the memory she longed to relive. I just returned my gaze at Peter and tried not to remember my cousin, my now deceased cousin. "He was the only one I thought I could talk to since Laura's school was farther and Derek was taking a test. I wasn't prepared for what I saw." She sniffed, her eyes closed in pain.
"What happened to them?" I took over from there, realizing she was too worked up to do it herself.
"While we were at school, our house caught fire. Kira had gone inside to try and help, but was knocked out from a blast. "I stopped when I heard wood creak; Kira was holding onto the door frame so tightly it looked like it would bent a little. I continued. "Thankfully, her father had followed her and saw. He called the ambulance and was able to get her out since she was close to the door. Eleven other people were trapped inside it though. And he was the only survivor." I heard someone stifle a sob and Kira was trying not to look at any of us. I saw her wipe at her eyes roughly before going to stand in front of Peter.
"So…what makes you sure that they started the fire?" At Scott's question, Kira scoffed a look between a scowl and a sardonic smirk on her face. I ignored it, despite the slight pang I felt in my chest, and continued.
"Cause they're the only ones that knew about us." I put it simply.
"Then…they had a reason." I glared at him, but it wasn't my reaction that shocked him, it was Kira's. She growled at him.
"What reason could that be Scott? What reason could they have for burning living people? Innocent people, Scott! Who are THEY to play God and judge who lives and who dies?!" she growled in his face, tears streaming down her eyes, angry tears. I held her by her shoulders and brought her down; she shrugged me off and went to crouch down in front of Peter, a hand on his cheek as those same angry tears rolled down her face.
"Like what, Scott? You tell me what justifies this?" Kira put her arm down as I went to turn my uncle towards Scott. "They say they'll only kill an adult and only with absolute proof. But there were people in my family that were perfectly ordinary in that fire. This is what they do. And it's what Allison will do." Kira sniffled and stood up, giving Peter a kiss on his forehead before wrapping her arms around herself. She was just looking out the window.
"What are you two…three doing here? Visiting hours are over. How did you get in here?" A redheaded nurse demanded from us.
"We were just leaving." The cracked and strained voice of Kira spoke up for us as she walked on out. I pulled Scott on along with me as I too left the room. "Scott, do you want me to drive you home?" Kira asked him, he looked at me, but I was too busy looking at her. How broken she looked.
"Yeah…I'll take you up on that." She unlocked her car and Scott got in. She was about to start towards her car when I stopped her.
"We need to talk…calmly. You say you've changed, that I have….then prove it. Act mature and I will too. Meet me back at the house." I didn't need to explain further, she'd know. I thought she would fight me on this, but I guess she was still just too broken to fully realize what she was agreeing to when she nodded her head. I reluctantly let her go and watched as she took off right away.
Violet's POV
"So…you were there? The day of the fire?" Scott asked me, and I just nodded.
"I was more then there, Scott. I was there…I was literally in the midst of it all. I could hear screaming and-and crying…I could hear begging…the fire was strongest at the basement I could see them trying to pry the bars open…some even lifting up the kids…little kids Scott…from the flames…there was even a human baby there…His name was Nathaniel…he wasn't even a year old yet." I spoke to him, my voice heavy with sorrow.
"H-how did you get inside?"
"I couldn't leave them there…I ran to the bars, but when I did I just burned my hands….I wasn't much help. I told them I'd try from the inside…to get them out the basement…I didn't get too far before I heard a small explosion and a beam fall on Peter…I tried to get to him before another explosion hit and I was tossed back into the living room. I knocked out for a bit after that...but I didn't escape that hell….it only got worse when I was out cold…when I woke up I was outside and there were people trying to quench the fire and my dad was holding me down….I still wanted to go in there to help save them…I couldn't believe they all-"my voice cracked and I let out a sob. I parked the car outside of Scott's house, just making it there before I broke down.
I was expecting Scott to get out and leave me to my own thoughts, but he didn't. And to be honest, I was glad. I heard him remove his seat belt and reach over to me; he tried to pull me as best as he could into an embrace and I cried into his shoulders as he awkwardly held me. I cried and blubbered into his shoulders and he just rubbed circles around my back and shushed me. Eventually, I quieted down and pulled back. I tried wiping my face to get rid of the tears and laughed awkwardly.
"Who'd have thought you'd be the one to comfort me this time, huh?" I chuckled and he gave me a sad smile. "I'm okay now, Scotty. Go on inside. I'll be okay." He didn't budge and just stared at me, a sad look on his face now. I was afraid of this. "I don't need the pity, Scott." I whispered and he shook his head.
"Not that…I hope I can be as strong as you…because I mean it, Kira. You've always been strong and I've always looked up to you…you've kind of always been like a big sister to me." He scratched the back of his head. This time, my eyes shined with happy tears as I hugged him and kissed his cheek.
"Same here, Scott. I love you." He smiled at me and I let him go. "And it's because I do…that I don't want history to repeat itself." He looked at me confused and I just shook my head. "Nothing…just I don't want to find out from Stiles or your mom that you're dead and later find out that it's all an Argent's fault..." I sighed.
"She's not like that…you'll see! We can-you can meet her! She's really nice and…I love her Kira." I looked at him surprised and gave him an unsure smile.
"Scott…it's in their DNA…just like being a Were is in your DNA now, too." I left it at that for a bit. "Just be careful, Scott. The Argents are the reason I'm here in the first place, Scott. They attacked my mother and she's dead. It wasn't during child birth like everyone said…they killed my Aunt and cousin, too, Scott. They were all innocent, and frankly I have a feeling they're out to get my whole pack." I numbly spoke.
"I'm telling you…I met with them! They seemed nice…other than the shit load of guns, but nice! And…Allison is the nicest person you'll ever meet and if you can trust anyone, it's her…you'll see." He looked at me with pleading eyes, pleading for me to understand. After a while, I gave in. I knew more than anyone that you had no control over what family you're born into, no control of what life you're born into; you can only make do with what you have and try to better yourself. What I also knew was that you have no control over who you fall for. The heart wants what the heart wants.
"Fine…I'll…check her out, like you put it." I rolled my eyes at him as I spoke, and tried not to smile as his face lit up with a huge grin.
"You'll see! Thanks Kiki!" Again he enveloped me in a strong hug before leaving the car. He stopped outside his door and waved. I waved back, whispering a goodnight, knowing he could hear me. I left soon after that.
While I was driving out of Scott's house I stopped at a fork in the road. One lead to the city, which I would have to go towards to get to the road that leads to my own home. The other lead further into the woods towards Derek's house. I sighed and ran my hand over my face, only to stop at my lips. That kiss felt like heaven to me. I'd admit it only this one time, but it had. I wanted to forget Derek and all he'd done to me, but I don't think I could.
"I'm a grown woman and I'm still pining after my childhood crush." I laughed bitterly. It was the truth. I'd been in love with Derek since I could remember. Since the first time my own mother ran into Diana, Derek's mom, with me with her. They were best friends in high school and lost track of one another right after. Apparently Diana hadn't gone to college since she got pregnant with Laura, opting to be a stay at home mom instead. They apparently hadn't seen each other in years. Diana hadn't always been a wolf, having been turned by her mate. Mom wasn't aware she was one in the first place. My mother was born, just like my father. So, it came as quite a surprise to the both of them when they ran into each other after eleven years. They regained their friendship and I befriended Derek. Eventually, I was at his house everyday playing with him, his sister and cousins. Eventually my friendship for him blossomed into something more. My mom and his would often joke about the two of us.
I smiled at a particular memory where Derek's mom tricked Derek into giving me a kiss on the cheek, both our cheeks were stained a bright red from our blush. After that, we'd always sneak a chance to give each other little kisses when people weren't looking. He'd always try to hold my hand, too. Laura found out and tried to get us together, but it never happened. When I was nine and Derek finally started middle school, suddenly all the girls were all over him and he'd bring friends over. When boys came, I didn't mind, I'd play with all of them instead. However, when these giggling girls (who were already wearing tops that were much too small to be age appropriate) started showing up with his other friends, I got jealous. They'd take every chance to try and touch him or kiss him and it drove me mad! Those times, I'd stay with Laura and she'd play with me, or I'd hang out with Alex.
Alex had always been a big brother to me. Alex was one of the few Hales that was born human and wasn't completely sure he wanted the bite. Therefore, he opted for other means of self-defense. He was the reason I took up fighting, he was a great fighter. He excelled in a bunch of martial arts and he always took time to draw with me. Granted, I was never really good, but he was patient. He, on the other hand, was multi talented and was an exquisite artist! It was when I started to hang out more with Alex that Derek started acting up. He'd grumble about this and that and would give me the cold shoulder.
One time I remember it had gotten so bad that Derek tackled Alex! I chuckled lightly at the memory of young Derek all jealous, of his cousin no less! I had been trying to catch up to Derek and his friends, but hadn't even made it a couple of yards from the house when I fell and cut my knees. I was crying and Derek's Uncle, Peter, came over to help. Soon, Laura came over and then Alex. Alex had brought a band aid with him and cleaned up my cuts before covering them up with the band aid and kissing my booboos. He gave me a kiss on the cheek right after. It was more of a little sister big brother type of thing between us two. His little sister had died at a young age, she had gotten sick. Derek had come back right at that moment and yelled out before tackling Alex. He thought Alex had "hurt me," or so was his cover up story.
I remember when Alex had told me his story and I told him how I was always alone at home unless my mom took me to work with her. My father was always busy on trips and working. I scoffed; my dad had another child with a human woman on those trips. It was after a big fight with my mom when I was six. He didn't know that the woman got pregnant, nor that he had a child. But Connor's aunt told him where to contact my dad and that was when I was eleven, before he left. It was all a misunderstanding. My dad had to make up for lost time and win over my brother. He temporarily lost me in the process, but hey, he had a reason. People were after his family members over in various places and he was rounding them up. That was why he left me with the Hales. For protection.
My father was oblivious of his other son, only concentrating on the one my mother was carrying when she died. A year later dad gets a call and he's off leaving me with people I thought he didn't know really know. Not all the Hales knew I was a werewolf. They knew my mother was, and that was all they ever dared ask on the matter. Once did they try to convince my mother to join the pack with my father and myself, unaware that my father was a werewolf and an Alpha at that. My mother just politely declined saying she wanted to live incognito.
As for the Hales, well, I always noticed they smelled different from the other kids and were just as fast, if not faster, than myself. It wasn't confirmed what they were until I was left there by my father. I mean, I had slept over the Hale house before, but after the second week living there, I was anxious. My father hadn't called once and I was taunted at school that I was abandoned by him. Saddest part was that my main tormenter used to have a crush on me. Funny way of showing it. I had so much on my mind that I went exploring, trying to find Derek, too. When I didn't I went off on my own and found a couple of tunnels with noises and sounds coming from there. When the sounds got scarier I turned to run back, but rammed into Diana. That was the first time I saw Derek's wolf form and found out the Hale family secret.
I shook my head from all the confusing memories and groaned. My forehead hit the steering wheel. "Shit just got worse after that." I muttered to myself. My middle school years were very unpleasant. Kids taunted me, and Alex looked after me. Derek tried to protect me while he was in eighth grade and he started acting funny around me, along with other boys. Laura said it was because I was an early bloomer and things would only get worse when I got my period and my boobs really kicked in! She wasn't kidding. "Stupid boys, stupid hormones. Stupid werewolf abilities!" When I first got my period, I was at a track meet. Laura was there cheering me on and so was Derek and Alex. The adults were at work, so I was okay with them not being there, they were busy. Laura instead had a camera and was ready to record.
For some reason I was nervous and kept grabbing at my stomach. Laura noticed and she had come over to check on me. She'd asked what was wrong and reminded me that Kira Kendricks didn't get nervous! Not even at my Pentathlon where there were more schools and a TV crew! It turned out that I was anxious and blowing up on people all day. I was extremely moody. Laura questioned it and said maybe I should go to the restroom. Wouldn't you know it, my period came. I had to run even with the damn pain. I surprisingly won first place, much to everyone's surprise. Although I was still moody, not tolerating anything and pushing everyone away.
I was like that for five days until the full moon ironically came when my period ended. I was talking to Derek and he was making fun of me for being a girl, just joking of course. I had punched him and he winced, a bad bruise forming. It was like if on cue my head started hurting. I screamed and started whimpering. Derek panicked and tried to hold me, but I managed to toss him back. The ruckus brought the adults over to see an unconscious Derek, and me crouched on the ground…growling…hissing…with bright green eyes, pointed ears and fangs.
"Shit hit the fan after that." I thought bitterly. I looked at the time on the radio and sighed. "Better get going." I turned on my car again and drove towards Derek. I got there quick and got out the car.
"I'm here!" I called out. I didn't want to go inside the house, but it looked like I had no choice when I got no reply. I made my way inside and I could have sworn I heard laughter and something run by me. I closed my eyes as I stared toward the direction that lead to the basement. I jumped when I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"You okay?" I just nodded to answer Derek. "I was beginning to wonder if you were going to show up." He said, crossing his arms. I just shrugged.
"I got…side tracked." It was quiet for a while before I broke it. "SO why am I here again?" I asked annoyed.
"We need to talk." I scoffed and walked around him towards the burnt steps. "Why'd you help me today?" I shrugged.
"Stiles called. Had to make sure you didn't kill him." I said it simply, acting bored as I concentrated on keeping my heart even. Derek groaned.
"Stop that." I looked at him like he was crazy as he glared at me.
"Stop what?" I asked annoyed.
"That! Stop acting like a …a bitch! It's not like you and it's beginning to piss me off." He growled at me and I smirked.
"Aww…DerDer can handle a couple a teenagers, but not a girl half his size?" I taunted before glaring back at him. "tough. I didn't come here to make friends so I don't care." I grumbled childishly.
"Hm…even now you can't stop calling me that can you, Baby?" I glared at him.
"Don't call me that!" I hissed at him. This time he smirked at me.
"Or what?" he edged. "You think you're all grown up now? Then own up to what happened…stop avoiding me…avoiding this house!" he shouted at me and I felt my eyes flash green.
"I'm here aren't I?! I came! You're here! I'm in this damn house! What more do you want from me, Derek?" I growled out. He walked up to me.
"I want …I want the old you…I miss her…" he placed a hand on my cheek and I saw him look at my lips.
"Don't…" I whispered, closing my eyes. "Don't do this…not again…" he looked at me confused. "Don't make me think I stand a chance when you're just going to toss me aside like you ALWAYS do!" I groaned, in pain.
"I'm sorry I did that, okay?" he made me look at him and I pulled back.
"No you're not! You need something! It's always the same! It's only when you need me, when it's convenient to you! I'm not some kind of tool, Derek!" I cried, pulling away again.
"Look! I'm trying to fucking apologize! I don't do that often, so just take it!" he growled at me.
"Why? It finally catch up to you that this is all your whores fault?!" I threw back at him but then looked down. "I didn't mean that-" he was staring at me hard, any kindness I thought I saw in his eyes was gone. His eyes were cold again, like the last time I saw him. "Derek I-"
"No, yeah. You're right. It's my fault. This was stupid. Just leave." I stared at him, feeling tears well up in my eyes as he walked back up the stairs.
"Derek wait!" I called out to him. He didn't come down and I contemplated going home to my own thoughts, but I just couldn't. I walked up the steps, upset now. This guys was going to listen to me whether he wanted to or not!
A/N: Okay I need opinions on this chapter. I'm going for a sentimental feeling here and yes Derek looks mushy but there had to be more to him before the fire and Kira brings that other side out of him. Don't worry…he will still be that kick ass ad ass wolf he is on the show that im sure we all love! But I mean they dnt show him all in love so I have to do my best at how I would imagine this confrontation would take place. So I thought I'd give you guys small memories to explain certain things. Next chapter should be less confusing and more dramatic. =)
Ps….I'd like it if more people would tell me how they feel about the story…im beginning to question myself here 0.o but if im only going to be writing for two or three or w/e then I guess I will!
