Disclaimer: I don't own any of this, despite my wishing on every aeroplane and space station I can see. Where am I going wrong?
"A Werewolf," Severus stated flatly.
Remus squeezed his eyes shut, screwing up his face as if anticipating a blow.
"This has got to be one of your more pathetic pranks, Potter. At least make it believable."
Remus' eyes flew open to see Severus glaring at James with utter contempt as both he and Sirius gaped at him. It had never even occurred to any of them that Severus might not believe them.
"Remus Lupin as a bloodthirsty monster? What utter rubbish." His words fell into the incredulous silence. "Now if you or Black had taken the lead role in this little charade I might have been more inclined to believe you." Severus leaned back in his chair smirking. "Honestly Potter, you're losing your touch."
Remus blinked. He wasn't sure how to feel. Apparently Severus didn't think he had it in him to even play the part, let alone to be a monster for real. That...had never happened before. But as much as he wanted to bask in this acceptance, to laugh it all off as a prank gone wrong—he couldn't. He just couldn't let Severus continue to believe that he was something he wasn't. He was quite sure his friend would call this self-destructive impulse his 'moronic Gryffindor honour'.
"It's..." he took a breath. Merlin this was difficult. "It's not a joke, Severus. I really am a Werewolf." Severus raised an eyebrow and looked at him cynically. Remus held that dark gaze, trembling with the need to look away, to run and cower in his dorm safe from the judgement that would follow. But he didn't. Somehow he managed to maintain eye contact. He didn't know exactly what Severus saw but slowly the blatant disbelief melted into outright shock and his eyes widened.
"I'm not falling for it!" Severus snapped jerking his gaze away but he sounded less certain. James and Sirius had been keeping silent but after exchanging a worried glance Sirius spoke up.
"Come on Snape," he cajoled trying to hide his uneasiness, "you're...," he grimaced at the thought of complimenting a Slytherin, "...an intelligent guy. You must've noticed all the times Remus has been 'sick'. Every month before and after the full moon to be precise."
Severus stiffened, obviously beginning to put the pieces together. "It's not possible," he insisted stubbornly. "The Headmaster would never allow a Dark Creature into the school. He'd never endanger the students like that. He'd lose his job."
"Only if something went wrong," James said confidently, "which it won't."
"Or if someone can't keep their mouth shut," Sirius muttered gripping his wand a little tighter.
"Dumbledore wouldn't let a Werewolf into the school," Severus snapped clearly losing patience. "The very idea is absurd! A monster roaming around Hogwarts with the Headmaster's blessing? It's completely ridiculous!"
Remus had felt his nerves winding tighter and tighter as the conversation progressed but he couldn't hide a flinch at Severus' last volley. A monster... He really should be used to this by now. Trying to appear calm, he looked up to see Severus staring oddly at him.
oOo
He flinched.
Throughout the entire farce Remus had been tense, shoulders hunched, barely able to look anyone in the eye. When he reiterated that ridiculous proclamation from before, he'd fixed him with serious amber eyes and Severus had almost felt his determination. He'd had to look away first. He'd still believed it was some kind of twisted joke even when Black had pointed out Remus' frequent absences and their rather damning timing. But that hadn't been enough.
It had taken that involuntary flinch and look of sheer misery in Remus' eyes when he'd said the word 'monster' to finally hammer it home.
They weren't lying.
"Remus is not a monster, you jumped up piece of Slytherin scum!" Sirius growled.
Potter rose looking grim. "Let's go, Remus," he said softly, "you tried. It's not like you need—"
"Why did Dumbledore allow it?" Severus asked ignoring the other two Gryffindors completely.
Remus' wretched expression was replaced by a look of shock. Severus didn't meet his questioning gaze, confused as to how he should react. He wasn't sure it had entirely sunk in yet. Remus was a Werewolf. Remus Lupin, the Gryffindor's Gryffindor, who was sickeningly fair and nauseatingly honest. Who couldn't even swat a fly without feeling bad, preferring to waste ten minutes trying to herd it out a window. That Remus was a ravening beast one night a month, a mad creature who's only thought was to rip apart anyone it could lay a claw on? It didn't seem possible and yet...
"Severus?"
He jerked in his seat and looked at Remus.
"Are you all right?" he asked in concern and Severus nearly laughed. Slightly hysterical laughter true, but still. Remus had handed him the key to his destruction and he was asking if he was alright? He really was such a Gryffindor.
"I might be going into shock," he informed them drily, "but then I'm apparently sitting three feet away from a Werewolf. I think I've got cause."
Remus hid his reaction a little better this time but Severus still caught it. He didn't retract his comment though. He wasn't sure what his true reaction would be when the shock wore off.
"How did you persuade Dumbledore to let you attend Hogwarts?" he asked again, genuinely curious. However he or his parents had managed it, it must have been a machination worthy of Slytherin.
"I didn't persuade him at all," Remus said finally sitting down in the last chair, between his and Potter's. Black watched the scene unfold with uncharacteristic silence, his hand gripping Potter's arm to ensure that he did the same.
"Your parents then?" Severus queried.
Remus shook his head with a faint smile. "No. Dumbledore came to us. I don't know how he knew; I think he might have worked with my father...before. He was the one to persuade my parents, they're pretty protective of me and didn't want to risk my being hurt."
At Severus' enquiring expression he continued haltingly, "Dumbledore told my parents that he'd been hoping to enrol me at Hogwarts, keeping my condition secret of course, to see if it was possible for Werewolves to eventually become officially accepted. He said he didn't believe that society should condemn an entire group of people for something we couldn't control. It's not like we asked to be cursed." The last sentence betrayed bitterness but it quickly faded. "He said I was an ideal candidate since I'd been bitten so young, children adapt better than adults. So I came and I've never regretted it."
Severus' eyes narrowed. "How young?" he asked and Remus winced.
oOo
He should've known that Severus would catch the most important part of that sentence. With a sigh he elaborated. "About three, I think. My father upset the wrong group of people and...well." He fell silent. He hated discussing this.
Looking up, he saw Severus looking contemplative. Really it was going far better than he'd hoped. At least Severus hadn't started throwing curses or run away screaming. Though such an undignified exit was hardly Severus' style, he acknowledged to himself with a grin.
Glancing to his other side, he saw James and Sirius sitting bolt upright, both scanning the Slytherin for any hint of mockery.
"Why did you tell me this?" Severus asked suddenly, his voice hard.
Remus almost got whiplash he turned so fast. "What?" he asked stupidly.
"I could destroy you with this information," Severus said silkily, "I doubt any parents would stand for a Werewolf among their children. One slip...that's all it would take."
Remus tensed and knew without looking that his friends were reacting the same way. Severus didn't even glance at them. His attention was entirely focused on Remus.
Wondering if he hadn't made the biggest mistake of his life, Remus acknowledged the truth of Severus' statement with a jerky nod. He wasn't quite up to speaking right now.
"Then why?" Severus burst out, frustration leaking into his previously emotionless voice.
"Why?" Remus had thought he'd made it perfectly clear why. "Because I want you to trust me," Remus clarified. "I want us to be friends. Real friends."
Severus shook his head in apparent bewilderment. "But you didn't have to tell me this," he said slowly sounding truly confused.
Remus snorted at that. "Would you have accepted anything less?" he demanded, already knowing the answer. "You told us about Peter—supposedly for revenge on Malfoy."
Severus tensed. "It was for revenge!" he snapped.
"But you could've gotten your own back some other way," Remus dared, "and don't lie. You're certainly inventive enough. But you did something potentially dangerous instead."
Severus sneered. "Don't get your hopes up Lupin," he spat acidly, "I was too angry to see straight. The concussion didn't exactly help either."
Remus managed to hide his wince at the reminder of his friend's condition on the train. "True," he admitted, "but I doubt you would have done it so readily if you hadn't been thinking about it on some level." Severus' eyes widened slightly but Remus rushed on before they could become bogged down in a useless argument.
James and Sirius were watching this exchange with poorly disguised fascination.
"So that's why—"
"Alright, alright," Severus snapped irritably. "Share and share alike or some such nonsense. And what, may I ask, do you expect to happen now?"
Remus swallowed hard. "That is completely up to you Severus," he said nervously. "I'd like you to accept this and for us all," he looked at James and Sirius here, "to become friends. But it's ultimately your decision."
Severus stared at them all as if they'd just announced they were moving to Slytherin. He actually gaped at them for several seconds until he pulled himself together. "I-I need to think about this," he muttered not looking at any of them. An awkward silence stretched until Severus grabbed his bag and backed cautiously the door, his wand held oh-so-casually in his free hand. James shot Remus a questioning look and he shook his head slightly. He'd meant what he said. The ball was in Severus' court now.
Though somehow, that didn't make him feel as terrified as he thought it should.
oOo
Two days passed and Severus' head was a mess.
Remus was a Werewolf.
Remus trusted him with a secret that could ruin his life.
The Marauders were leaving him alone.
Remus wanted him for a friend.
A Werewolf wanted him for a friend.
Remus was a Werewolf!
Remus wanted him to be friends with the Marauders.
He always laughed when he remembered that bit. It garnered him some strange looks but he was too distracted to care.
Somebody trusted him.
That was the kicker. That was what had him walking around in this haze of uncertainty. A Werewolf in Hogwarts? Naturally it should be kicked out before it killed someone—or worse, bit someone. Except...it was Remus. And he hadn't found out by some unhappy accident, he'd been told. He'd been included. It meant more than he was willing to admit and he despised himself for it.
No-one had ever trusted him with their secrets before. Sure he and Lily had talked about magic and Hogwarts but that had been something that had affected both of them. Likewise with the Slytherins. Sure he knew about the Dark Lord but then so did everyone else. It was a very open secret. More like a discreet fact of life.
But no-one had ever trusted him with something so momentous. He literally held Remus' future in his hands. It was a heady feeling. Part of him was tempted to smash it out of pure spite, for the envy that had burned him for years whenever he'd looked at the Marauders. But he hesitated. He wasn't even sure why. He would have done it without a second thought before.
But...Remus had believed that his opinion was important enough to risk everything for. It was flattering in the extreme, especially for someone like him. But that's why he was so on guard. He was self-aware enough to realize that he was embarrassingly susceptible to kindness. It was a novelty for him. He understood it in abstract but so very rarely was it aimed in his direction.
So forty-eight hours passed and he stumbled around, barely aware of his surroundings so caught up was he in his own internal debate. He didn't notice Remus' increasingly hopeless expression or the worried, searching glances shot his way by the other Marauders.
But someone else did.
oOo
Lucius Malfoy rarely bothered with anything outside his own sphere. (i.e. anything that didn't affect him directly) However when his attempts to pin Severus down were either brushed off or ignored, he became angry. But that didn't last long once he began to observe him. Severus was clearly in the midst of some intense introspection. Normally he would assume that he may be questioning his future, his path to the Dark Lord and act accordingly.
But that wouldn't explain why the infamous Marauders were watching him as if he were an unstable potion on the verge of explosion. Lucius first demanded an explanation from his secret weapon, his little Gryffindor rat, only to be intensely disappointed. The useless lump hadn't a clue anything was even going on. And what was worse, he'd had the temerity to imply that it was all in his head!
Pettigrew was clearly getting above himself but Lucius took the time to disabuse him of that notion before applying himself to this new puzzle. Eventually, he came to his own conclusion. He'd blackmailed enough people to recognise the Marauders' jumpy, fearful expressions though they camouflaged well. Obviously Severus had got something juicy on the golden Gryffindors and was figuring out how to turn it to his advantage.
Pleased that the mystery was solved, Lucius decided to keep a close eye on the situation. Severus was always so creative. Whatever his protégé came up with was sure to amuse him.
oOo
Severus had finally made up his mind. He wasn't by nature an indecisive person but the sheer magnitude of the situation had warranted a thorough examination before he chose which route to take.
He wasn't sure that this was the right decision and though he knew he might regret it later, he was committed. Once he'd made up his mind, Severus Snape was practically unshakeable.
After his last class, he took off to the Arithmancy classroom to confront Remus. Unfortunately he wasn't the only one with this idea. All four Marauders were together, the other three clearly having come to meet Remus. Severus hesitated. Pettigrew was there and he couldn't afford to make a scene.
However after only a few seconds of dithering, he marched over, ignoring the incredulous looks he was receiving from the surrounding students as he approached the Marauders. Pettigrew spotted him first and his pointed face took on a malicious cast.
"Oh look," he crowed, "its Snivelly!"
The rest of the Marauders turned as one and Severus had to brace himself against one of his worst nightmares—the full attention of the Marauders.
"So what do you want Snive—hey Sirius!" Pettigrew complained as Sirius threw an arm around his shoulders and began to steer him away.
"Come on Peter," he said cheerfully, "It'll be dinner soon and I heard that the House Elves have been experimenting again!"
"All right Padfoot!" Potter grinned, overriding Pettigrew's weak protests, "Experiments are always delicious even if they do look weird. Hurry up Moony!"
And with that they were gone, sweeping away through the diminishing crowd. Severus caught a couple of disappointed faces and fought the reflexive sneer. Together he and Remus walked in complete silence until they found an empty classroom. Seeing the apprehensive looks Remus kept stealing in his direction when he thought he wasn't looking, Severus rolled his eyes.
Please don't say he thinks he's being subtle?
Quickly firing up a couple of silencing spells so they could talk in private, he turned and faced him.
Remus stared back in trepidation. "I take it you've decided then?" he asked shakily.
Severus gave a slow nod and Remus seemed to curl in on himself.
"I see," he muttered. "Will you at least give me until summer? I-I'd like to get my OWLs at least."
"Oh sweet Merlin," Severus snapped thoroughly disgusted. "Did I say I was turning you in, you over-dramatic Gryffindor?"
Startled amber eyes flew up to meet his own and he smirked at the pure unadulterated shock he saw there.
"I'll keep your secret Remus," he assured him bluntly. It wasn't just a big deal for Remus after all. He was staring down a path he'd never even considered before and found his stomach twisting and his heart beating faster as he contemplated the unknown. This was completely new territory for him. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't sure he could do it or that they'd be willing to put up with him very long. And yet...
The relief that swept over Remus' face like sunlight somehow made it worth it. Other than Lily, Severus had never cared about another human being before in his life. But somehow Remus Lupin of all people, had made the list.
"Thank you Severus," he breathed, "When you didn't speak to us, I figured—"
"I thought Slytherins were supposed to be the pessimistic ones," Severus interrupted wryly. He was uncomfortable dwelling on the subject.
Remus finally cracked a smile. "I thought you preferred the term realistic?"
"And I thought Gryffindors were all sickeningly optimistic?" he retorted enjoying the familiar banter.
"Well mostly," Remus said quietly, "but in this case, it was more that I was expecting events to follow a certain trend."
"Others haven't taken it well then?" he asked, fighting the foreign sensation of guilt as he recalled how close he'd came to following that same trend.
At Remus' mute nod, Severus pushed, "But Black and Potter have apparently stuck around."
"I've been lucky," Remus said, happiness leaking back into his voice. "Now I have three friends I can trust completely."
"I thought you weren't counting Pettigrew anymore," Severus said accusingly only for Remus to stare at him blankly for a moment before rolling his eyes. "I was including you, you prat," he said in exasperation.
Oh.
Severus didn't care to examine the warm feeling that comment gave him. "Well," he said awkwardly, "we'd better get going or we'll miss dinner."
Remus grinned at him. "Just—thank you, Severus, for seeing past the monster."
Severus paused in the act of opening the door and regarded him steadily. Behind the smile, Remus' eyes were serious. Feeling irritation rise in him, he decided to nip this in the bud for his sanity's sake.
"Don't flatter yourself, Remus," he drawled. "I've seen real monsters and Werewolf or not, you don't even come close. Now hurry up, I want to eat."
Without looking back he left the room. He was halfway down the corridor before he heard running footsteps and Remus caught up with him. They made their way to the Great Hall talking lightly about inconsequential things; both secretly feeling as if an oppressive weight had been lifted.
oOo
Later that night he was halfway to the Room of Requirement when he was cornered. He glanced warily from Black to Potter.
"What do you want?" he asked trying to remind himself to act civil.
The two exchanged a glance before Sirius, obviously drawing the short straw said, "Well, Remus told us you're trying to become an animagus."
Severus tensed. How had he known...? "And what if I am?" he snapped.
"Well," Potter said cautiously, "we were wondering if you wanted any help."
Severus tried very hard to contain his incredulity but he was only human. "Help?" he repeated blankly.
Potter squirmed looking very uncomfortable. "Well, it's just that we have some experience in this area," he began delicately until Severus' snort cut him off.
"Well I figured if Pettigrew managed it then you must have as well," he said cuttingly. "After all, even you can't be that pathetic."
Potter's face went red with impotent anger and Severus hid a smirk. Can't go blasting Remus' new friend can we, Potter...
"And just how far along are you, Sni—Snape?" he demanded.
"I'm doing quite well actually," he said smoothly, "I'm hoping to achieve the final transformation within the next week or so."
"And what are you going to be, a slimy snake?" he snapped.
"How original," Severus responded rolling his eyes. "Haven't you the wit to think up any new insults?"
"James, calm down," he's just trying to wind you up," Black finally interjected. "Seriously Snape, do you have to be such a bastard? We were offering to help!"
"Well I'm delighted to say that I don't need your help," he snarled, "so can you kindly piss off?"
"I don't know why we bothered," James muttered, "Remus has obviously gone completely mad."
Fed up with the useless conversation, Severus made to leave only to find Sirius blocking his way.
"Is there a problem Black?" he sneered.
"Remus said that you were going to keep quiet about his 'furry little problem'," Black said slowly. His tone implied that he didn't believe it.
"That's correct," Severus replied in a clipped voice.
"Why?" James demanded. "How do we know you're not going to change your mind?"
Severus stiffened. "That's none of your business," he hissed menacingly, wishing he could just hex them. Unfortunately the same restrictions that that bound Potter also applied to him. Damn. "And for future reference, Gryffindors don't have the monopoly on honour. I don't break my promises." Truly incensed now, he pushed past them making for the Room.
"Oh, because you're so honourable," Potter taunted, "we come down here to make peace and you shove it in our faces!"
Severus spun. "You came to be condescending assholes as per usual!" he hissed. "You wouldn't know peace if it jumped up and hexed you in the—"
A sudden bang froze the argument. Both swung around to stare at the smoke curling from the tip of Sirius' wand in shock.
"You know how bad things have gotten when I have to be the sensible one," he said sarcastically. "James, Remus asked us to make up with...Severus. We'd a brilliant, kick-ass plan remember?"
As James opened his mouth to defend himself, Sirius turned on Severus. "And you, stop being such an uptight, paranoid bastard. We actually did want to help you! Okay true, we'd an ulterior motive but it was a good one!"
"And that was?" Severus asked cautiously.
"Well, we became animagi to keep Remus company during the full moons," Sirius said excitedly.
"What?" Severus yelped in shock.
"Relax Snape," Potter said looking slightly amused at his horror-struck expression. "Werewolves are no threat to animals. Even if he bit us we wouldn't be infected because it only works on humans. As it is, the wolf considers us pack. He won't hurt us."
Severus stared at the two of them in alarm. "You're insane. Even if it is 'safe', who decides to keep a Werewolf company? He won't even remember it in the morning!"
"Because he needs it," Sirius said grimly. "If he's locked up alone, he tears himself up. The scars he's got..." he shook his head. "We distract him, we make him chase us into the forbidden forest so he can lose himself in the wilderness and let loose with us without hurting anyone. And without hurting himself."
Severus hissed out a breath. "That's risky," he breathed. "If he ever got away from you..."
"Its fine," James said impatiently his attention focused on a piece of parchment, "the Whomping Willow hides the passage to the shrieking shack—it's on the very edge of the grounds, right next to the forest. Once he's in there, he doesn't want to go anywhere else."
"The shrieking shack?" Thinking of the rumoured haunting and screams of supposedly tortured spirits, Severus couldn't conceal a grin. That's pretty smart. "Typical Dumbledore," he murmured, amused.
Sirius' eyebrows flew up. "Sweet Merlin, Snape," he joked, "you're human after all. We always figured a smile would cause instantaneous death."
Severus blanked his face on reflex before glowering at him. "And your plan was Black?"
"The plan was that if you'd managed the animagus transformation by the next full moon, you'd come with us," James said grumpily.
"If you really are a snake, I'm not carrying you!" Sirius interjected, "That can be Prongs' job." Ignoring James outraged expression, he baited the trap. "But if you're too scared..." Sirius trailed off, anticipating the blustering response.
Severus was speechless but affected an inquiring expression. "Is Remus okay with this?" he asked carefully when he'd recovered his faculties.
James and Sirius looked at him, then at each other as if the question had surprised them. "Yeah, he's fine with it," Potter said strangely.
"Do you think you'll be ready on time?" Sirius asked.
"The next full moon's not for three weeks right?" he asked looking for confirmation. They both nodded confidently.
"Well, two and half," Potter corrected making an obvious effort to maintain a neutral expression.
Severus nodded slowly. "I think I should be ready by then," he said cautiously.
The three stared at each other for a few seconds before the two Gryffindors started shuffling their feet, desperate to escape the growing awkwardness. Severus was eager to leave as well, but he hid his discomfort like a true Slytherin.
"Right well," James said uncomfortably, "if you make it in time, meet us at the Whomping Willow at sunset. Make sure no-one sees you."
Severus bit back a scathing retort at that blaringly obvious piece of advice. "What about Pettigrew?"he asked suddenly. "Won't he have something to say if I turn up?"
"Peter won't be there," Sirius growled, his sudden vehemence making Severus reach for his wand.
"He's made it clear where his loyalty lies," James said tightly. "It'd be too easy for him to sabotage. We're going to get him out of the way."
He and Sirius shared feral grins and Severus swallowed one of his own. The idea of the Marauders going after someone else for a change, (not to mention someone who actually deserved it!), was rather novel.
"Good luck with that," he said completely sincerely for once.
"Want to help?" James asked wickedly only remembering who he was talking to when Sirius gave him a sharp dig in the ribs.
Before anyone could say anything Severus surprised them all (including himself) by saying, "You know I wouldn't be adverse to that."
"Really?" Sirius blurted looking appalled.
"I pranked you lot enough times, didn't I?" he reminded them coolly and felt a rather immature glee at their chagrined expressions.
"That's true enough," Sirius admitted reluctantly.
"Well, Remus will be pleased," James said obviously trying to psych himself up. It wasn't really working.
Severus and the Marauders regarded each other guardedly for another moment. Severus was beginning to regret his impulsive remark. Clearly consorting with Gryffindors was affecting his sanity.
"Nothing builds trust like pranking wannabe Death Eaters and running with Werewolves," Sirius intoned solemnly, breaking the heavy atmosphere and making James laugh. Even Severus' lips twitched.
"Yeah," James said chuckling, "if we don't kill each other first."
A/N: Wow, really long chapter this time!
Just want to point out that the reason canon Snape hated and feared Werewolves so much was because he had the rather traumatic memory of nearly being eaten by one. As this story is AU!, this hasn't happened, so my Snape is a little more open-minded.
Hope you enjoyed! :)
