Chapter 8

Notes : Chronology changes : Gibbs married Shannon in 1982 and they had Kelly the same year, not in 1984. Shannon and Kelly died in February 1987.

In this story, Tim is born in May 1981, instead of 1977. He's four years younger.

The story starts in the timeline of season four, before "Cover Story" Episode, so in 2007.

N/A: Second part of the "Cover Story Aftermath"! Tim and Nico, as simple as that. Emotions ahead, you've been warned.

N/A #: Thanks to my beta jerseybelle for her work.


The doorbell rang and Nico all but ran to the door and opened it, barely pausing to take sight of Tim before they simultaneously engulfed each other in a desperate hug.

Tim shuddered inside her embrace and she tightened her hold. He buried his face in the generous curls of her hair and she softly caressed the back of his neck. They stayed like for at least five minutes before Nico silently nudged him inside and locked her door. She turned around and watched her best friend loose his tie and carelessly throw it on a chair, along with his jacket. He took off his shoes and passed a tired hand over his face before collapsing on the couch.

Nico squatted down in front of him and sat on her coffee table. She scooted as close to him as possible and tenderly let the tips of her fingers traced the large dark circles under his eyes. Tim captured her hand in a firm grip and let out a shuddering breath. Nico let her other hand fall softly onto the top of his head.

"Moth, are you hurt? What's wrong?"

Despite his crestfallen mood, her nickname for him still managed to bring out a small smile. He raised his gaze to look her in the eyes and felt his own watering by the sheer anguish he could see in Nico's blue orbs. Her first concern was to know if he was hurt. Tim felt his throat tighten. After everything that happened today, knowing how much she cared for him was an unbelievable gift. Except for his sister and grandmother, she was probably the only one.

"Tim?" Nico murmured, her voice strained with worry.

"I'm not hurt, Nico." But his voice really wasn't matching his words and Nico's hand travelled from the top of his head to the back of his neck. She gave him a gentle but firm squeeze.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, this time with a strong voice.

Tim swallowed painfully and raised red rimmed eyes towards her.

"Two men died today and I'm mostly responsible for it."

Nico didn't react like he thought she would. Instead of putting some distance between them, she scooted even closer to him and put her forehead against his.

"Start with the beginning, Tim."

He did. He told her about Landon Grey and his unhealthy fascination for "Deep Six" and "Rock Hollow", he told her about the creepy fan mail he received, about his publisher Lyndi Crawshaw and her scams, about the deaths of Petty Officer Cove and Adrian Corbett, about Grey committing two murders to protect 'Agent McGregor', and finally about Grey trying to kill Abby.

Nico listened and her heart ached that Tim had gone through something like that. She knew his job wasn't roses and sunshine at all, she knew he was confronted with death and violence on a regular basis, but the guilt she could feel pouring from his voice was killing her. She took his face in her hand and felt her throat tightened at how red his eyes were. But strangely he wasn't crying. She knew that he was holding back fiercely, and without a doubt had been holding back for quite a while now.

She met his gaze steadily. "None of it was your fault," she said with unbreakable conviction.

Tim's expression twisted and he tried to pull away but she was ready for it. She knew exactly how he was going to react, knew that he would want to run away, that he wouldn't want any comfort because he probably hated himself right now but she would never, ever let him and in a swift movement she was straddling his lap, his face still trapped between her hands, her eyes burning into his.

"Listen to me, Moth. You know I wouldn't lie to you, even if the truth would hurt."

"I know," Tim immediately acknowledged.

"Then listen, and try to believe me. Tim, you're a writer and like every writer in the world, you used your surroundings and your life experiences to inspire your storyline, and every single artist does that, painters, musicians, writers… I do it, too, when I compose. This is not illegal, this is not cheating, this is not wrong! You did a damned fine job with "Deep Six" and I know you've been struggling with "Rock Hollow" but this is your passion, one of your jobs, something you love. You are not the first, nor the last, writer in this world and you did everything right. Now tell me, how could you have known that something like that would have happened? "

"I… the letters… I should have…"

"The false letters, you mean? The ones that shady publisher wrote?"

"They could have been real, Nico, I should have…"

"What? What more could you have done? You told me you asked Lyndi to stay alert and tell you if other letters are sent. There are so many writers, who get crazy mail like that, and most of the time, nothing happens. You were aware of the letters, and I know you, Tim, you would have taken precautions if there had been more of them. You did not just ignore it, am I wrong?"

Tim swallowed and squeezed his eyes shut before reopening them almost immediately.

"You're not wrong," he murmured.

"Landon Grey is an unbalanced man. He's also a criminal. But still, he's just a man, Tim. Just like you."

Tim's eyes sharply focused on her and Nico continued mercilessly.

"He's just a man," she repeated. "Not a character. He's not something you could have controlled. He made his own decisions, did his own crimes, things that you would have never even dreamt of. You couldn't have done anything to prevent what happened. You were used by him, Tim. He used your book to hurt people, so therefore he hurt you. You are his victim, too, not his accomplice."

And damned if it didn't make her eyes water to realize that Tim had also been this monster's victim. She wished she could find the man and beat the shit out of him. She wished she was there to prevent any of this from happening. Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Tim's hand came to frame her face and she could see that he was on the verge of crying.

"You did everything you could to stop him and you succeeded. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you, how guilty you must feel, but Moth, None. Of. It. Was. Your. Fault. You did your job. Every time, you did your job."

At her finals words, Tim let out a painful sound and panted harshly against her face.

"Then why? Why did my team make me feel like I was the murderer? Why did they treat me like that? Why?"

And with this he finally broke down, tears running hard and fast down his cheeks, angry sobs racking his frame as his arms encircled Nico, still sitting on his lap.


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