Welcome back, guys! Here's your next chapter. This chapter takes place during the events of 'Gridlock', but with a 'Buffy style' twist. Enjoy xx
I don't own Doctor Who or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. All I own is this story.
Doctor Who © Sydney Newman, C.E. Webber and Donald Wilson. Buffy the Vampire Slayer © Joss Whedon.
Please review constructively and responsibly. If this story isn't your particular brand of vodka, don't read. Allow others to read and form their own opinions. Cheers xx
ARE WE THERE YET?
"I'm breaking free from these memories. Gotta let it go, just let it go. I've said goodbye. Set it all on fire. Gotta let it go, just let it go." ~Avril Lavigne (feat. Chad Kroeger) 'Let Me Go' (Avril Lavigne [2013])
Buffy and Martha hunched over gasping for breath.
They had underestimated how faraway the Globe theatre had been from the TARDIS and both were regretting not getting more exercise when they were able. Buffy felt like her lungs were on fire as she tried to gulp in as much air as she could. The Doctor breezed by both girls – not in the least bit winded – and discards his trench coat on one of the TARDIS's coral like support beams. He rushed up to the console, punching in the coordinates and throwing the lever. Almost immediately, the TARDIS lurched to the left nearly dumping everybody on the ground.
"Man, I haven't run like that for a while." Buffy gasped. "The last time I ran that fast was when I was chasing after a vampire who just wouldn't take a hint." She straightened up and rubbed at a sore spot on her elbow as she leaned up against the TARDIS console.
Martha frowned at her with confusion.
"Sorry, I think I misunderstood you. Did you say 'vampires'?" Buffy nodded. Martha scoffed in disbelief and went to sit down in the Pilot's seat behind the Doctor, who had looked up when Buffy had first made the comment. "You're having me on."
The Doctor tutted disapprovingly at Martha.
"You've stood face to face with real live aliens, why shouldn't vampires be real?" He asked her. "Broaden your mind, Martha." He scolded her. Martha gaped at both the Doctor and Buffy, disbelievingly.
"But it's scientifically impossible!"
"It's not." Buffy replied. "I had the same reaction as you did when I first learned what I was destined for." Buffy was over it. She was tired, irritable and not in the mood to go into a debate with Martha. If she wanted to pretend that vampires were fictional, she wasn't going to stop her. Be my guest... "It's not the life I would've chosen for myself. God knows how much I wish I could escape it." Buffy walked over to the staircase that would lead to the lower section of the TARDIS and retreated to her temporary room. The Doctor watched her go, looking sad. Martha sidled up to him, looking very confused.
"What is she talking about?" She demanded. The Doctor put the TARDIS into idle mode before turning to face Martha. The expression on his face was grim.
"Buffy isn't an ordinary human. She is a legendary vampire Slayer. The Slayer to be exact." He explained, but pressed on before Martha could interrupt. "According to legend, or so I read; the Slayer is primarily female and the 'one girl in all the world with the strength and skill to vanquish the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness that threaten to corrupt and destroy the world.'" He wrinkled his nose, trying to remember the exact details. "Or something to that effect."
Martha looked appalled.
"But that's insane. That's inhuman! Who came up with this rubbish?" She demanded. The Doctor jabbed at a random button on the console, adjusting course.
"The Powers that Be, is who they are called. They were responsible for the creation of the First Slayer in existence during the prehistoric era." He frowned at a memory. "I met her accidentally when the TARDIS and I had a minor disagreement." Then he shuddered with revulsion. "Highly unpleasant girl; tried to gut me like a fish." Martha glanced in the direction Buffy had wondered off in.
"So say I believe all this; couldn't Buffy just hand the responsibility to another person to deal with so she could have a normal life?" The Doctor eyed Martha dangerously causing the young doctor-to-be to take a step back.
"First of all, Martha, would you be willing to take on the responsibility of making sure that innocent people were not killed while not being killed yourself?" Martha gave him a look.
"Of course not."
"Good. Glad we cleared that up; which leads me to my second point. This isn't just a hobby or a job that can be done by just anybody. Buffy, and the innocent girls that came before her, were endowed with supernatural strength and skill that made it possible to physically wound, let alone kill vampires – who are soulless demons wearing the hollowed out husks of the humans they inhabit, and have an insatiable diet of human blood." Martha paled, probably remembering the Plasmavore they had already encountered. "Putting an ordinary human up against any supernatural creature with a less than savoury agenda, would leave them as defenceless as a cat toy." Martha nodded. Then the Doctor suddenly looked very afraid, like he already knew something that he wished he had no knowledge of.
Martha was immediately concerned.
"Doctor are you okay?"
"No, not really. But it leads to my third and final point: In order for Buffy to hand the responsibility over to somebody else…" Here he hesitated. "… She would have to die." His voice broke on the word 'die'. Martha gasped.
"Not exactly a story that invokes the warm and fuzzies, huh?" Both Martha and the Doctor turned around to see a blank-faced Buffy, who stood at the stop of the stairs, with her arms crossed protectively over her chest acting like a personal shield.
Martha started walking towards her.
"Buffy, I'm sorry. I didn't know." She apologised, looking guilty. Buffy gave a very tiny smile.
"It's fine. You weren't to know." Buffy strode directly over to the Doctor who had distracted himself by readjusting and punching in coordinates into the TARDIS console. She frowned at his reaction to her reappearance. There was something he was hiding from her, and it was obviously causing him great pain. "Doctor?" He flinched at Buffy's voice, before straightening up and giving both Buffy and Martha the fakest looking smile Buffy had ever seen; and she had had the misfortune of associating with the Cordelia Chases in this world.
"Right, moving on! Where would you two like to go next?" He asked them brightly. Buffy and Martha exchanged concerned looks.
"But I thought you said to Shakespeare that you were taking us home?" Martha ventured carefully. The Doctor snorted.
"Just one trip. S'what I said. One trip, in the TARDIS, and then home." Buffy's face fell, and the Doctor noticed this. He couldn't help it, he was absolutely delighted that Buffy wasn't ready to go home yet; but at the same time, he also needed to know when Buffy really needed to go home to complete her education … and her *ahem* other responsibilities. Thankfully, that day wasn't today. "Although – I suppose we could – stretch the definition. Try one trip to the past, one trip to the future. How do you two fancy that?" Martha practically beamed, while Buffy perked up a little.
"No complaints from me!" Martha grinned.
"I'm up for anything." Buffy agreed, and hopped up onto the Pilot's seat making herself comfortable. The Doctor's hearts skipped a beat, and he gave her a warm smile. But then an image of Rose's grinning face appeared in his head and he immediately withdrew into himself, pasting an excited expression on his face.
"How about a different planet?" He suggested.
Sometimes Buffy hated the fact that being the Slayer meant she was highly observant. She had seen the internal war the Doctor was having with himself reflected within his sad brown eyes, and realised that he was attempting to resist the feelings he had already started developing for the Slayer and presumably holding on to the feelings he had for Rose Tyler, who was trapped in Parallel Earth. Hurt, Buffy looked away.
"Can we go to yours?" Martha answered the Doctor inquiry. The 'fake' excitement on his face ebbed away almost immediately and he turned away from Martha.
"Ahh, there's plenty of other places!" He playfully protested. Martha didn't take the hint.
"Come on, though! I mean, Planet of the Time Lords, that's got to be worth a look! What's it like?" The Doctor looked reminiscent.
"Well, it's beautiful, yeah."
"Is it like, you know, outer space cities, all spires and stuff?" Martha asked, conversationally.
He shrugged. "I suppose it is."
Buffy decided to intervene. She could see how uncomfortable the Doctor was about the topic.
"Uh, Martha…" Buffy called out, but Martha wasn't listening.
"Great big temples and cathedrals!"
"Yeah." The Doctor confirmed, dully. Buffy tried again.
"Martha, I don't think…"
"Lots of planets in the sky?" Martha was getting increasingly excited and Buffy was getting annoyed with Martha.
"Martha!"
The Doctor came over and placed a calming hand on Buffy's shoulder, and offered her a grateful smile.
"It's fine, Buffy." He decided that it wouldn't hurt to at least describe his home planet to his two companions who were not going to be seeing it. He smiled sadly. Buffy risked taking his hand, to give him some emotional support. To her surprise, he didn't pull away. If anything, he only held on tighter and stroked her hand affectionately with his thumb. She couldn't help it, Buffy blushed. "The sky's a burnt orange, with the Citadel enclosed in a mighty glass dome, shining underneath twin suns. Beyond that, the mountains go on forever – slopes of deep red grass, capped in snow."
Both Martha and Buffy were completely enthralled by the image the Doctor had described to them from memory.
"Wow. That really does sound so beautiful." Buffy breathed, agreeing with the Doctor's first brief description of Gallifrey. The Doctor turned and smiled at her gratefully, before giving her hand one last squeeze before letting go.
"Can we go there?" asked Martha, dreamily.
"Naah! Where's the fun for me? I don't want to go home!" Yes, you do… Buffy thought sadly, still cursing her observational skills. "Instead …" The Doctor danced around the main console, tweaking settings as he went. "This is much better. Year five billion and fifty-three, planet New Earth! Second hope of mankind! Fifty thousand light years from your old world, and we're slap bang in the middle of New New York." Then he paused, frowning. "Although technically it's the fifteenth New York from the original so it's New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New, New York." All Buffy and Martha could do was just nod. "One of the most dazzling cities ever built." The Doctor rushes over and puts on his trench coat, before leading Buffy and Martha out of the TARDIS … into a rain shower.
Both of them scowl and Martha zips up her jacket.
"Oh, that's nice! Time Lord version of 'dazzling'." She scoffed. Buffy grimaced, as the rain pelted down on her head, quickly dampening it.
"Ugh, bad hair day…" She grumbled. "I hope I don't frizz." The Doctor rolled his eyes.
"Nah, bit of rain never hurt anyone. Come on, let's get under cover!" He takes Buffy's hand and leads the both of them down the alley.
The trio discover that they are in the slum part of the city, and they dash through a junk-ridden street; past what looked like giant dumpsters and some old laundry hanging from a line above their heads. Martha doesn't look impressed.
"Well, it looks like the same old Earth to me. On a Wednesday afternoon." The Doctor glances around for clues. He spots a dead screen on the wall and runs over to it.
"Hold on, hold on. Let's take a look." He uses his sonic screwdriver on the screen and when static appears, the Doctor bangs impatiently on the screen before the face of a perky looking blonde flickers into view.
"—and the driving should be clear and easy, with fifteen extra lanes open for the New New Jersey expressway." 'Perky' as Buffy dubbed her, reports with a cheesy smile. The image on screen shifts to reveal the New New York above ground, which is a gorgeous spired city on the coast of a large river. Sleek vehicles zoom through the air. The Doctor 'ah huh's in triumph.
"Oh, that's more like it!" Buffy grins.
"Wow, I'm liking the future already!" The Doctor beams at her response.
"That's the New we had last time. This must be the lower levels. Down in the base of the tower, some sort of under city." Buffy's grin faded when her sharp ears picked out the 'we' in the Doctor's explanation.
"You've brought us to the slums?" Martha stated, sounding irritated. But the smile on her face gave away how excited she was about being in the distant future.
The Doctor nodded.
"Much more interesting! It's all cocktails and glitter up there. This is the real city." Martha smiled fondly.
"You'd enjoy anything." Buffy moved away from them. Suddenly not having as much fun now that she suspected he'd been here before with someone else.
"Somehow, I think I'd prefer the cocktails and glitter." She mumbled. "This reminds me way too much of home…" Luckily, the Doctor missed it.
"That's me. Oh, the rain's stopping! Better and better!" Buffy couldn't help it, she needed to know.
"When you say 'we' and 'last time', was that you and Rose?" Martha's smile suddenly dropped, and she looked at the Doctor with confusion. The Doctor nodded.
"Um – yeah. Yeah, it was, yeah." Buffy scoffed.
"Great. That's just great…" She trailed off, and walked away from him, earning a concerned look from the Doctor. Martha scowled.
"You're taking us to the same planets that you took her?" The Doctor looked confused.
"What's wrong with that?" Martha just wordlessly gestured towards Buffy, and he turned and saw the visibly upset Slayer studying a faded poster. It looked like she had been struggling not to start crying. The Doctor's eyes widened in realisation, and he immediately felt like an idiot.
"Nothing. But for a genius, you really have no idea. Do you?" Martha said, vexed as she pushed past him and approaches Buffy, leaving a visibly guilty Doctor behind. Just then a man suddenly flips open the top of a large green box to reveal a street vendor's cart. All around them, many others do the same; just appearing and shouting out their wares.
One of them notices Buffy and Martha.
"Oh! You should've said. How long have you been there?" She beams down at Buffy. "Happy! You want Happy?" Buffy looks slightly freaked out, and Martha wraps an arm around the teenager's shoulders, trying to protect the younger female as even she glances cautiously at the vendors.
"Customers! Customers! We've got customers!" Shouts another vendor from nearby.
"We're in business! Mother, open up the Mellow, and the Read!" A vendor nearest the Doctor calls out to somebody hidden in the back of their cart.
"Happy, Happy, lovely happy Happy!" chants the first vendor who had spoken to Buffy.
"Anger! Buy some Anger!"
"Get some Mellow, makes you feel all bendy and soft all day long!"
The Doctor frowns disapprovingly.
"No, thanks." He responds, moving away and gesturing for Buffy and Martha to do the same.
"Are they selling drugs?" Martha questioned, sounding appalled.
"I think they're selling moods." The Doctor corrects her. Martha shrugged.
"Same thing, isn't it?"
Buffy says nothing. Just continues to observe the commotion blankly. Other, more bedraggled-looking people stumble into the alleyway behind them. But this only encourages the vendors. A pale woman dressed head to toe in black walks with intent towards one of the stalls.
"Over here, sweetheart! That's it, come on, I'll get you first!"
"Oy! Oy, you! Over here! Over here! Buy some Happy!" The woman chooses the third vendor that attempted to accost the Doctor.
"Come over here, yeah. And what can I get you, my love?" The vendor asks, cheerfully. The woman blinks solemnly at her.
"I want to buy Forget." She replies softly. The vendor beams.
"I've got Forget, my darlin'. What strength? How much you want forgetting?" The pale woman looks visibly upset.
"It's my mother and father. They went on the motorway." She explained. The vendor looks sympathetic. Something that the Doctor, Buffy and Martha find an odd reason to want to forget.
"Oh, that's so sweet." The vendor coos before reaching behind her to the stall and pulling out a circular token, and holds it out to the pale woman. "Try this. Forget Forty-three. That's twopence." The woman hands the vendor the money and turns away with the token still in her hand. But before she can do anything with it, the Doctor stops her.
"Sorry, but – hold on a minute. What happened to your parents?" The woman looked at him with confusion.
"They drove off."
"They might drive back." He pointed out. But the woman shook her head.
"Everyone goes to the motorway in the end." She explains. "I've lost them." The Doctor looks sympathetic.
"But they can't have gone far. You could find them." The pale woman just looks at him, then looks down with a sigh. She sticks the circular token to her neck before the Doctor could stop her.
"No, no – no, don't!" He is too late. Once the token has been applied, the pale woman's expression changes almost instantly. And Buffy's eyes widened with shock. The woman seems docile, serene; a bit out of it, but unaware of her surroundings. She gives the Doctor a polite but dazed smile.
"I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
"Your parents. Your mother and father. They're on the motorway." He attempts to remind her, but knows it's a wasted effort.
"Are they?" She looks thoughtful. "That's nice." Martha makes a disbelieving face, and looks to the Doctor. He is disturbed, but not surprised. Buffy looks depressed. "I'm sorry. I won't keep you." And the woman wonders off. The Doctor looks pensive, and Martha upset and a little scornful.
"So that's what Forget looks like." Buffy mused. "It doesn't look so bad, actually." The Doctor whirled on her with a hard look on his face.
"Don't even think about it!" Buffy replied to him with a condemning glare before moving away. The Doctor recoiled.
"So that's the human race five billion years in the future? Off their head on chemicals." Martha spat.
Two figures spring out from behind Buffy, carrying guns and dressed in dark clothing. One of them, a man named Milo, grabs Buffy from behind and throws an arm around her neck; dragging her off.
"Hey!? You son of a bitch! Get your hands off me!" Buffy snarled, trying to buck him off. But she froze when she noticed the gun in his hand. "You have no idea who you're dealing with!" She warned as Milo's wife, Cheen, stands in front of them pointing her gun at the Doctor and Martha, who had turned round when Buffy started protesting. Both of them were horrified.
"I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry. We just need three, that's all." Milo explains to the Doctor and Martha, who attempt to come after them as Milo and Cheen retreat, taking Buffy with them.
"No, let her go! I'm warning you, let her go!" The Doctor begged. "Whatever you want, I can help. Both of us, we can help." He indicated to an alarmed Martha, and at the Slayer still restrained against Milo's chest. "But first you've got to let her go!" He yelled, desperately.
But Milo and Cheen are desperate, and they ignore him.
"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Sorry." Cheen repeats her apologies, almost crying, until the couple have disappeared with Buffy in their clutches, slamming a large green door behind them.
"Buffy!" Martha calls out to the scared Slayer. "Doctor, we need to do something!" She said, banging desperately on the green door.
"I know!" The Doctor bared his teeth with frustration and begins to wrestle with the door. Eventually, the Doctor uses the sonic screwdriver and yanks the door open. Both he and Martha immediately charged after the kidnappers.
Milo, Cheen and Buffy emerge in daylight, running down a fire escape. Milo has Buffy by the arm, and Cheen is at their rear, still holding out the gun.
"Just letting you know, that if you don't let go of me in the next thirty seconds I'm gonna kill you! Let go of me!" Buffy elbows Milo in the gut, careful not to put any Slayer strength behind the blow, and manages to break free of Milo's grip. But he manages to recover and grabs her again, pulling her closer and looking to Cheen. The three of them have stopped in front of a large black car.
"Give her some Sleep." Milo told Cheen, desperately. Buffy fights harder. I was just kidding about the Forget thing!
"Don't you dare! Don't put that stuff in me, don't! Get off me!"
"It's just Sleep Fourteen." Cheen explains as she reaches into the vehicle behind her and pulls out another token, just like the one the pale woman had bought, and goes to press it against Buffy's neck. Buffy screams for help, but Cheen, looks upset but purposeful.
"No…" Buffy whimpers, fearfully.
"No, baby, don't fight it." Cheen soothes.
"Please … don't…" Buffy goes from being a strong, ruthless Slayer to a scared sixteen-year-old girl. But these two were desperate, and with Milo holding her, however, Buffy is unable to resist for very long. Once the token touches her neck, Buffy falls into an instant sleep.
"That's it. Come on. That's it." Cheen continues to soothe. Milo scoops Buffy's small body into his arms and turns to Cheen.
"Get on board."
They both load Buffy into their car.
The Doctor and Martha dash through the corridor where Milo and Cheen had just taken Buffy. The Doctor is out of his mind with worry, and Martha isn't much better. Buffy was still just a kid, and despite being supernaturally strong and more than capable of taking care of herself. But at the same time, she was the Doctor's responsibility. A fact that slams home with the Doctor, and makes him all the more determined to rescue Buffy and it eliminates every thought of Rose from his mind.
Milo flicks on the switches inside the vehicle, just as Cheen slams the door closed and checks on Buffy, who is sound asleep.
"Engaging anti-gravs. Hold on." He tells his wife. Cheen reaches to the top of the car for support as it rises into the air and the engines power up. The Doctor and Martha rush out onto the fire escape and their eyes widen in horror when they realise they are too late.
"Buffy!" The Doctor yells frantically. The vehicle speeds off down a small alleyway and out of sight.
Inside the vehicle, everything glows a lime green light. Cheen feels Buffy's cheek as she sleeps.
"She's alright. She's breathing, pulse is fine, and no harm done." Cheen frowns a little and how young Buffy looks. "She looks like a kid though, wonder what she was doing wondering around down there in the alley." Cheen is a lot more cheerful, despite her slightly concern for Buffy's wellbeing. She pulls off her jacket and settles in beside Milo in the front.
"Yeah, well, as soon as we get to where we need to go, she can call her dad." Milo reassures her as he pulls out a vocal transmitter. "This is car four six five diamond six. We have three passengers, repeat three. Request access to the fast lane." He says into the transmitter.
"Access granted." The automatic voice responds. Both Milo and Cheen grin in triumph. Gaining access to the fast lane is apparently the same as winning the lottery. They smile excitedly and engage each other in a kiss.
"This is bad!" The Doctor states, before grabbing Martha's hand and pulling her back down the alleyway they had come down and immerging out where the vendors were selling their wares.
"Doctor, what do we do now?" Martha frets.
Without replying, the Doctor pounds on one of the doors of the now-closed stalls. It flips open immediately, and reveals the same vendor who sold the pale woman some Forget. Seeing him and Martha, she grins broadly and leans towards him over the countertop.
"Thought you'd be back! Do you want some happy Happy?" She asks him. The Doctor is furious, and has had just about enough of people kidnapping his companions; especially Buffy.
"Those people – who were they? Where did they take her?" He demands.
"Please, tell us! She's just a kid!" Martha begs. The other vendors open their flaps, and join in on the conversation.
"They've taken her to the motorway."
"Looked like carjackers to me." Another vendor adds, looking sympathetic.
"I'd give up now, darling, you won't see her again." The Doctor's eyes flashed, and Martha starts panicking.
"Used to be thriving in this place. You couldn't move. But they all go to the motorway in the end." The Doctor whirls, grilling all of them at once.
"The man, he kept on saying three, we need three. What did he mean, three?" He asked, urgently.
"It's car-sharing policy, to save fuel. You get special access if you're carrying three adults." The vendor they first talked to explained. The Doctor zeroes in on the vendor, he's struck paydirt.
"This motorway – how do we get there?" He asks, indicating both himself and Martha. The vendor points down a nearby alleyway.
"Straight down the alley, keep going to the end. You can't miss it." The Doctor doesn't waste a second, and grabs Martha's arm; striding off in the direction the vendor had indicated. However, the vendor can't resist trying to sell them something before they go.
"Tell you what – how 'bout some happy Happy?" The Doctor freezes, and Martha turns and looks at the woman with disgust. "They you'll both be smiling, my loves!"
The Doctor turns back.
"Word of advice, all of you. Cash up, and close down. And pack your bags!" He suggests. The vendor frowns.
"Why's that, then?"
"Because as soon as I've found her, alive and well – and I will find her, alive and well – then I'm coming back. And this street is closing. Tonight!" The Doctor declares before turning without another word and strides off down the alleyway, with Martha following.
The vendors glance at each other, all apprehensive.
Back in Milo and Cheen's vehicle, Buffy fuzzily comes to; registering the lime green light above her. She glances around the car, seeing containers of pills and liquid next to her and hearing vague voices in the background. Milo and Cheen are silhouetted in Buffy's vision as she regards the front of the vehicle. She overhears Cheen's part of the conversation.
"Yeah, the view from the windows. You can see all the way out to the flatlands." Buffy reaches up to her neck and removes the Sleep token. She stares at it, frowning, before she throws it away. "The sky … They say the air smells like apple grass. Can you imagine?" Cheen continues.
"The houses are made of wood. There are jobs going in the foundries. Everyone says so!" Milo adds to the conversation. Buffy hones in on her Slayer training. She needs to act quickly. She spies a gun sitting on a computer screen next to her head and snatches it, pointing it at Cheen and Milo.
"Take me back. I don't care who you are, just take me back to my friends. That's all I want." Buffy orders. "I won't cause any trouble, just take me back!" Milo and Cheen glance at each other, and then at Buffy, curiously.
"Friend? We thought he was your dad." Milo stated. Buffy made a face at the very idea of the Doctor being her dad. Cheen smacks Milo, and looks at Buffy kindly.
"I'm sorry. That's not a real gun." Buffy glances down at the gun, thrown.
"Yeah, well, you would say that." She points the gun at them with more determination. Cheen looked slightly amused by her determination.
"Where do you get a gun from, these days? I wouldn't even know how to fire." Buffy looks disgustedly at the fake firearm in her hand, lowering it slowly and tossing it over her shoulder.
"What's your name?" Cheen asked.
"Buffy. Buffy Summers." Buffy gets up from the bed and comes over gingerly towards the front of the car to stand behind them.
"Well, I'm Cheen, and this is Milo." She indicated to her husband. "And I swear we're sorry. We're really, really sorry. We just needed access to the fast line, but I promise, as soon as we arrive, we'll drop you off and you can go back and find your friend." Cheen promised.
Buffy made a face.
"Seriously?"
"I swear! Look—" Cheen pulls back her hair to reveal a token on her neck. It's the same as the one Buffy had on earlier, but this one has the word 'HONESTY' printed on it, with the number '36'. "Honesty patch." Buffy frowns.
"All the same, that's still kidnapping! Where are we, anyway?" She looks out the window, curiously.
"We're on the motorway." Milo replies.
"What's that, then? Fog?" Buffy indicates the smog. Cheen giggles.
"That's the exhaust fumes."
"We're going out to Brooklyn. Everyone says the air's so much cleaner, and we couldn't stay in Pharmacy Town, 'cause…" Milo squeezes Cheen's knee, and she grins at Buffy.
"Well, 'cause of me. I'm pregnant. We only discovered it last week. Scan says it's going to be a boy." Buffy is shocked, as Milo makes a mock victory gesture. He looks just as thrilled as Cheen. Buffy immediately scowls.
"So I'm supposed to be happy that my kidnappers are having a kid?" Cheen's smile falls a little.
"Oh, we're not kidnappers. Not really."
"Yeah right! You're both idiots!" Both Milo and Cheen look taken aback. Buffy zeroes in on the token on Cheen's neck. "And you, you're having a baby; and you're wearing that?" She reaches over and rips off Cheen's honesty patch. Cheen gives a small yelp of pain. "I don't think so." Milo looked defensive.
"This'll be as fast as we can. We'll take the motorway to the Brooklyn flyover, and then after that it's gonna take awhile, 'cause then there's no fast lane, just ordinary roads. But at least it's direct." Cheen nods.
"It's only ten miles."
"And how long is it gonna take?" Buffy was waspish.
Cheen shrugged. "About six years."
Buffy's mouth fell open.
"What?"
Six years? Buffy couldn't be stuck in a futuristic flying car with two total strangers for that long. She was the Slayer for fuck's sake, not to mention that she had her mom and her friends to worry about. And the Doctor…? Would she ever see him again? Buffy wondered if he was worried sick about her, or if he'd be the type to search for her for as long as he could before losing interest. Don't be a moron. The Doctor loves you or at the very least really likes you, why would he ditch you in an unfamiliar planet?
Cheen grins proudly.
"Just in time for him to start school." Both Milo and Cheen giggle, the epitome of fresh new parents. Buffy paled.
"Nope. Sorry. Back up!" Milo and Cheen raise their eyebrows at Buffy's 20th century slang. "Six years? Ten miles in six years? How come?"
The Doctor and Martha followed the alleyway to a dilapidated corridor, which led them to an old sign that read 'Motorway access', the sonic screwdriver buzzes in the dim light.
"Do think Buffy's alright?" Martha asks the Doctor, worriedly. The Doctor paused momentarily, before continuing his attempts to gain access through a large door.
"Let's find out." He replies, as the lock opens with a loud clang and they step through onto a platform. Almost immediately, they start coughing. They were standing in an atmosphere of heavy smoke. The smoke turned out to be exhaust fumes of several thousand cars, all hovering in the air in what looked like the worst gridlock in the universe.
"Doctor, I can't breathe…" Martha croaks, and the Doctor immediately starts searching for shelter; he wanted out of the toxic fumes as well. Right in front of them, the door to one of the floating vehicles opens, and a large figure dressed head to toe in protective gear, leans out. His name was Brannigan.
"Hey! You daft little street struts! What are you doing, standing there? Either get out or get in! Come on!" Both Martha and the Doctor don't hesitate and they jump through the open door and into the car. "Did you ever see the like?" A dark-haired woman, presumably this figure's wife, hands them an oxygen mask each.
"Here you go." They thank her gratefully.
"Just standing there, breathing it in!" Brannigan was mystified. He pulls off his goggles, cap and scarf; revealing that he is a cat. Martha blinks at him in astonishment. "There's this story says back in the old days, on Junction Forty-Seven, this woman stood in the exhaust fumes for a solid twenty minutes." The Doctor and Martha listen to this with confusion. "By the time they found her, her head had swollen to fifty feet!"
The woman giggled.
"Oh, you're making it up." She scolds. Brannigan heads back up to the front of the car, getting in the driver's seat.
"A fifty-foot head! Just think of it." He smirks. "Imagine picking that nose." Both Martha and the woman pull disgusted faces, while the Doctor raises an eyebrow.
"Stop it. That's disgusting." Brannigan grins, playfully.
"What? Did you never pick your nose?" The woman rolls her eyes and faces the front, then taps Brannigan on his arm.
"Bran, we're moving!"
"Right. I'm there. I'm on it." Brannigan pulls a lever on the console, and the engines in the back of the car spews out more smoke. As they go forward, the other cars move into place around them; horns beeping in every corner. However, they don't get very far, and after a couple of seconds; Brannigan draws the lever back. "Twenty yards! We're having a good day." The woman smiles at him, and both turn back to regard the Doctor and Martha, both standing behind the couple and pulling off their oxygen masks. "And who might you two be? Very well-dressed for hitchhikers." The Doctor smiles politely, as does Martha.
"Thanks. Sorry, I'm the Doctor."
"Martha. Martha Jones." Both of them shake Brannigan's hand. The cat man gives a booming laugh.
"Medical man! Ha-ha! My name's Thomas Kincade Brannigan." He turns and gestures to the woman sitting beside him. "And this is the bane of my life, the lovely Valerie." Valerie smiles warmly at the both of them.
"Nice to meet you."
Brannigan gestures behind them to a drawn curtain.
"And that's the rest of the family behind you." Martha and the Doctor turn to the curtain, and reveal a basket of adorable mewling kittens. Martha immediately gushes.
"Oh my Gosh! How sweet!" She squeals with delight. The Doctor grins.
"Aww, that's nice. Hello." He reaches gently out to them, as does Martha, as their parents share a glance. The Doctor and Martha turned back to Brannigan and Valerie, each holding a kitten: a tiny black kitten in the Doctor's hands, and an orange tabby in Martha's.
"How old are they?" Martha asked, curiously.
"Just two months." Valerie replied, smiling fondly at her two children. Brannigan smiled sympathetically.
"Poor little souls. They've never known the ground beneath their paws." Both Martha and the Doctor looked at them in a puzzlement. "Children of the motorway." He explained. The Doctor was surprised.
"What they were born in here?" Martha raised an eyebrow.
"We couldn't stop." Valerie explained. "We heard there were jobs going, out in the laundries on Fire Island. Thought we'd take a chance."
The Doctor was astonished.
"What? You've been driving for two months?" Brannigan and Valerie laughed.
"Do I look like a teenager? We've been driving for twelve years now." Brannigan explained. The Doctor and Martha exchanged confused glances with each other.
"I'm sorry?" Martha questioned.
"Yeah! Started out as newlyweds! Feels like yesterday." This made the Doctor smile sadly. Valerie snorted.
"Feels like twelve years to me."
"Ahh, sweetheart, but you're still lovely." Brannigan tickles his wife, and she giggles. Instantly, their troubles are forgotten. The Doctor is mystified, but Martha is charmed by them.
"Twelve years?! How far did you come? Where did you start?" The Doctor wanted to know. Martha gave him a critical look. Who cares? Brannigan paused to think.
"Battery Park. It's five miles back."
"You travelled five miles in twelve years?" The Doctor was incredulous. Brannigan was amused and looked at both Valerie and Martha.
"I think he's a bit slow." The Doctor reaches behind and puts the kitten back with its brothers and sisters. Martha follows suit after pecking it on the head. Valerie studied them curiously.
"Where are you two from?"
"Never mind that. We've got to get out." He explained. "My, uh, friend's in one of these cars." Martha smiled approvingly when the Doctor hesitated on the word friend when describing his relationship with Buffy. It meant that he was giving it some serious thought. She turned to the curious couple.
"She was taken hostage." Martha added. The Doctor was fiddling with the door next to him.
"And we should get back to the TARDIS." He insisted. The Doctor pulled open the door, but nearly steps out into nothing but a cloud of smoke.
"Doctor!" Martha reaches out and grabs a hold of his coat, pulling him back in so he didn't fall out of the car. Everyone in the car immediately starts coughing until the Doctor shuts the door.
"You're too late for that. We've passed the lay-by." The Doctor coughs hard, and Valerie offers him the oxygen mask again, but he politely declines. "You're a passenger now, Sonny Jim!" Martha looks annoyed.
"Great! What do we do now, Doctor?" She asks.
"When's the next lay-by?" The Doctor asks Brannigan, urgently. Valerie bites her bottom lip, which causes Martha to worry, as Brennigan considers.
"Oh … six months?" The Doctor slumps in a heap.
A frustrated, unamused look on his face.
A/N: Let's leave it here. I don't want to make these chapters too long, or readers might lose interest. Please review. Part two of this particular 'Buffy version' episode will be out soon. Cheers guys ;)
