Disclaimer - i do not own Homeland. That pleasure belongs to Showtime. No copyright infringement or money making scheme intended. This is purely for reading enjoyment.
A/N I am still working on the chapters which will push the rating to M. They just don't feel right yet. Not sure when I will post them. However, should I drop off the main page, the rating going up will be the reason.
Carrie,
I broke you, made you doubt yourself in the worst possible way. It should have been unforgivable and yet you told me you love me. You should hate me, more than anyone, but you don't.
You were brutally honest with me as I sat across from you in interrogation, offering up a bit of yourself to help me open up and you were right there for me as I crumbled to pieces. I didn't deserve that comfort.
There were opportunities to tell you what was going on and there is only regret that I did not take them. If I had, maybe it wouldn't have come to this...our separation and the fear of not seeing one another again.
I'm struggling to keep hope, struggling to keep the anger and resentment at bay. I am afraid of losing myself again. You are my strength and I weep thinking of how I nearly destroyed you. You see all of me, the good and the bad, stripped bare and I don't mind because you don't run from it. Someone, somewhere has taken mercy on me and if we do meet again, I'll say those three words you have been waiting to hear, because you know what Carrie, this is real.
