Summary: If you read this far, you´ll know what this fic is about ._. Summary will be kicked out in the next chapters
Warnings: unbeta'ed A/Ns, evil plotting, shocked charas, otherwise same as last chapter
Beta: Ca11iope ^-^ I´m short from calling you a co-author XD Thank you once again!
Notice:
"Speaking"
'Thinking'
"Letters, reports etc...and … "
The Curse of Forever: Here you are ^-^ One Ed delivered XD Express service :D
Fullmetal-chibi-freak: Thank you, I will XD
o-Jeff-o: happy you enjoy the chapter. As for Hughes: Keep wondering XD I´m not telling :-X No offense, I just don´t want to spoiler you ^.~
._. And honey, you are special XD No kidding, I enjoy every comment very much and if you take your time to comment, answering is the least I can do. ( And I don´t think it´s really fair not to answer. I myself would feel a bit left out as an reviewer ^^ )
Raigingstorm: You´re welcome ^^ Oh yes, it´s a very important fact that Roy keeps up the fight XD Wouldn´t be fun otherwise (And OOC o.O°)
Sachiel Angelino: Roy told the honest truth XD If a person has nothing better to do in their life than to stalk their neighbors, they should either get a hobby or a dog and stop bothering other people. Considered this is Roy we´re talking about I guess he would recommend the dog XD not that he would ever sink low enough to be a neighbor-stalking gossip monger ._. curiosity satisfied? ^^ As for Ed: Enjoy the chapter XD
The Bet of the Year
Chapter 7: Unexpected
Day 10
It wasn´t surprising that on Wednesday Havoc was nowhere to be found.
But that didn´t bother Roy too much. He knew that killing a soldier while at Central Headquarter would be too much of a bother for the lady general, simply because there would be too many witnesses. Nonetheless, from what Major Armstrong told him, his sister had kept Mustang's Second Lieutenant running errands until the early hours of the morning, complaining continuously that his slow progress with the tasks she had assigned him were proof positive that he was nothing but a pathetic wimp.
Still, Roy refused to feel guilty for what he had subjected his subordinate to. The man had had it coming, after all.
However, there was something that in fact did bother him. Hughes had tried to get him to surrender on the fourth day of the bet. Havoc on the eight. And he remembered both of their estimates of how long he would be able to hold out. According to his best friend he should have lost on the fourth day. Which would make exactly three days of holding out. Havoc had given him one week. The very next day he'd tried to cheat. And Hawkeye . . .
"Maybe two weeks." Roy shuddered at the thought. He wouldn´t put it past Hawkeye to aim at the general and simply order the body part do its job. But since Riza wouldn´t harm him – hopefully – that would be a bluff. And forcing Roy at gunpoint to lose the bet would definitely result in RIza's team having to forfeit the contest. That kind of behavior went against all the principles of fair play. To lose this bet, Roy had to surrender all on his own.
What did all this mean? Simply put: If Hawkeye decided to cheat, she would in all probability make her move on the first day of the third week. That might be a good day to call in sick. Knowing the Lieutenant however, that tactic wasn't likely to work. She would probably drag Roy from his deathbed before she let him slack off on his paperwork.
Well, he had today and the next four to come up with a defensive strategy.
Another thing that set off the Colonel's alarms when he arrived at work was that both Breda and Fury looked scared. The former not as much as the latter, or perhaps the red head might be hiding it better, but still.
Both Falman and Riza continued their work outwardly unaffected by their commanding officer's entrance.
But all of them bid him a very polite good morning.
Maybe he had gone a bit overboard by sending Havoc to Olivia Armstrong with a boner. While his dick refused to agree with that, Roy found himself overtaken by a tiny bit of guilt. Not for Havoc mind you, but for scaring his other subordinates. And hatching evil schemes against one of their number, regardless of how much he may have deserved it, was not be the best way to keep their loyalty.
So he won his way back into their good graces by sending Fury out to get coffee and pastries for all of them. Roy's treat of course.
Breda, always a slave to the whims of his stomach, proclaimed quietly that Havoc needed to dig himself into shit more often, when he thought Roy couldn't hear him of course. Falman was quick to point out that if their second lieutenant went missing or sick every other day, it would increase the percentage of paperwork everybody else would have to do to keep the office running. And naturally Riza was not happy with the possibility that their effectiveness would decrease.
However the lack of disparaging comments about their commanding officer was a clear indication that they were not holding any grudges. Great. Mission accomplished.
Sadly though, today Roy was finding that paperwork was losing its effectiveness as a distraction. So he took a break from concentrating on the reports to make a few long overdue phones calls, which helped to get rid of the images that had been burned into his mind on Monday.
An order for a new pair of gloves was particularly effective at keeping Roy's thoughts on business. Usually the process was annoying. The cloth was expensive, and the supply officer on the other end of the receiver was always in a bad mood whenever Roy called. Not surprising, since that clerk's house had been one of those that the Colonel once had been in a hurry to leave, without his underwear. Still, that had been nearly five years ago. The man should get over it already. And it wasn't as if Roy had known the woman in question had been in a relationship. All in all, placing an order with the man was usually a chore. Today however, the testy supply officer was a welcome diversion. Roy took his time and delayed the process as much as he could, simply to keep the man on the phone as long as possible.
The clerk's muttered insults helped to keep Roy's mind out of the gutter, and for a brief moment the Colonel considered inviting the man out to dinner later that week. Still, it was more than likely that the officer didn´t know Roy could hear him cursing. And even if he did, cursing the Flame Alchemist over the phone was a far cry from cursing him face to face. It took a special kind of bravery for that. Sadly, thanks to the gloves, most people acted strictly by protocol around him, so using the supply clerk as another 'no sex' dinner companion was not an option. That, and the fact that the other man was bisexual. After he'd dumped his cheating girlfriend, his next partner had been male.
Which basically meant that Roy would be sticking to Ed when it came to dating. Roy didn't think it at all odd that he was very much looking forward to seeing the young alchemist that evening.
Even after staying a bit late in the office to finish as few outstanding reports, Roy still had almost two hours to kill before Edward was due to arrive.
To distract himself, Roy found himself in front of the stove, cooking dinner. Not to impress the other alchemist, mind you. But to make it perfectly clear that he was not lazy. No matter how much the blond might believe it, Roy Mustang was not lazy. And not useless. And his dick was not small. Not. Small. Period.
The doorbell rang just as Roy was turning off the heat. Abandoning the food in favor of opening the front door, the Colonel found himself face to face with Ed´s antenna. But before he could offer a greeting, the blonde´s stomach took care of it. Loudly.
At least Ed had the decency to blush. A few years ago he would not have been bothered by his stomach speaking for him. Or rather demanding food for him. But now Roy found himself in front of an embarrassed alchemist.
"Uhm… I guess, I smelled the food out there and… uhm… Hi."
"Good evening, Fullmetal. And good evening, Fullmetal's stomach." Really, if they decided to greet him separately, they should receive separate answers as well. The faint blush on Ed's cheeks spread its way over the rest of his face.
"Stop being an asshole and let me in. I´m starving," The young man muttered, and with an amused smirk, the Colonel stepped aside to let his former subordinate in.
"So I´ve heard." This time, Roy received a sour glance as the younger alchemist got rid of his boots and jacket.
Following Roy into the kitchen, he fished for more information.
"So, what did you orde-" Both the alchemist and the sentence stopped abruptly. Blinking, the blond´s gaze followed the dark haired man, who had started to set the table and portion the food onto the plates. "You cooked." It was a statement, but somehow it still sounded like a question. And absolutely disbelieving.
By preparing dinner himself, the Flame Alchemist had obviously managed to throw Edward off balance, and enjoyed the feeling of having the upper hand. So he offered the other man his most charming smile and tried his best not to laugh as the blond quickly avoided eye-contact. That fact alone was a victory, since the short tempered alchemist could usually bull his way through any uncomfortable situation, and was never at a loss of words. Now however he eyed the table as if he expected the food to attack him.
"I´m not trying to poison you." The obvious amusement in the Colonels voice earned him a murderous glance, but otherwise Ed simply shrugged as if he was not sure he should believe his former superior.
Okay, he knew he'd surprised Ed with a home cooked dinner, but this was getting strange. Roy wondered what was going through the shorter man's mind as Ed finally sat down after an inviting gesture. He kept silent, even as Roy poured the wine into the glasses.
The shorter alchemist downed his in one go.
Roy blinked. Maybe Fullmetal had become an alcoholic in the short time since they'd last seen each other. Nonetheless, he refilled the glass, but this time placed his hand on it as Ed once again reached to take it.
"Fullmetal, tell me what´s wrong." The authoritative tone of the order reminded him of the days when Ed had been under his command, and thankfully had the same effect on the blonde. He received a glare, but Ed let go of the wine glass and leaned back.
"Uhm…" instead of voicing his thoughts, the blond reached for the silverware and began to cut his meat. The way he nipped on his upper lip was a clear indication that the younger man was thinking about how to put his problems into words, so Roy decided to give him some time to do so and sat down himself.
He should have known better than to take a drink before Ed answered his question. He could have avoided a really nasty coughing fit, for what the young man asked definitely threw him off the edge.
"You´re … not trying to… hit on me or something, are you?"
After finally being able to breathe again, he stared at the former Fullmetal. And felt downright insulted that the prospect of him hitting on Ed had the young man looking so creeped out.
"What the fuck gave you that idea?" At his disbelieving tone the blonde finally relaxed a bit. While Roy's ego hid like a beaten puppy, his dinner companion attempted to explain himself.
"Well, you´re acting strange."
Ah, Ed's blush was back. Roy tried not to think of this expression as suitable or even attractive for the young man. But after reviewing his behavior toward the other younger alchemist, Roy had to admit that the conclusion was not as far-fetched as it first appeared. Invitations to dinner, one of them home cooked. A few more or less flattering remarks, and very careful planning on his side for the dates. But before the Colonel could try to downplay these things, Ed continued his explanation.
"You´re acting unusual. You're acting so..." Roy waited expectantly as the man did his best to find the right word. Charming, maybe? Caring? Sexy? " - human." Ed finished and Roy tried not to wince.
Roy acting human was out of ordinary? And to top it all, Edward considered him lazy, useless, impotent, and promiscuous. Just what the fuck had he done to be viewed in such a way?
"You don´t have to sulk, you know." Edward's statement at least contained a measure of amusement again. Anything was better than that air of certainty his voice held when Ed had stated his rather low opinion of Roy. Or the creeped out tone when he'd asked if Roy was hitting on him.
And Roy did not sulk. He was the Flame alchemist, after all. And his reputation included no sulking. Well, except for the times Hawkeye called him useless when it rained.
"I am human, Fullmetal." Roy stated as a matter of fact.
"No. You´re a Bastard. With a capital B."
As if a bastard – sorry, a Bastard - was not human. Sighing deeply, the Colonel decided that this was not a topic he wanted to pursue any further.
"I think you should start eating. Wine on a empty stomach makes you act –" just like yourself. So honest it was painful to hear. "- like a brat."
"Are you calling me short again, Colonel small-dick?"
Though at first Ed was hesitant to try the food, his appetite eventually got the better of him. And it appeared that after tasting it, not only was he convinced that it was not toxic, but very tasty as well, if the amount he put away was any indication. The young alchemist refused to compliment his host out loud, but Roy was very pleased with himself and his cooking skills all the same. He had cooked enough to feed his entire staff, and hadn´t eaten very much himself, but Edward saw to it that there would be no leftovers. Dessert was served to Ed in the study so he could begin to look over Roy's research, while his host took care of the dishes.
When Roy returned to the study, his own dessert and a second share for his guest in hand, he found the alchemist engrossed in the research. So much so in fact, that he didn´t even notice Roy's presence. The Colonel took the opportunity to let his gaze roam over the lean body of his former subordinate. Not a single roll of fat stood out on the smooth frame, and Roy, not for the first time, was amazed by the amount of food Ed could literally inhale without gaining weight. Considering how beautifully toned the young man was, Roy could guess that Fullmetal still put a lot of practice into martial arts.
Catching Edward's attention took some doing. Clearing his throat did not help. Knocking didn´t either, and it felt weird to knock in his own house. Placing the dessert right beside Fullmetal finally gained his attention. The blond man almost jumped out of the chair.
"What the- can´t you knock?" Then he saw the dessert and immediately his attention shifted away from Roy to the dish.
"I did."
The dry answer did not appear to register. Putting a spoon full of raspberry tiramisu into his mouth while he looked over the notes, Fullmetal appeared as if he had found heaven after all. The dark haired man sighed and sat down beside the blond, doing the only thing that made sense at the moment: eating his own share of the dessert while he waited quietly for Edward to finish pouring over Roy's theories.
Finally, when Roy had almost finished his cake, Ed let his unfocused gaze drift up from the pages in front of him. He looked positively smitten with the calculations and it took a lot of effort on Roy's part to not laugh out loud. It didn´t surprise him that the next thing Ed did was to grab pen and paper and starting to scribble like mad. Any other alchemist would have needed more time to get a grip on the concepts, but Fullmetal was not like any other alchemist. Which didn´t mean he was a specialist in fire alchemy of course. The younger man was more of a specializing non-specialist.
After a few more minutes, the blonde stopped and finally looked at Roy with an expression that the dark haired man could not place. Then Ed's gaze dipped back to Roy's notes again and then back to Roy.
"Uhm…."
Obviously the short man was better able to think when he had high blood glucose levels, because he once again shoved a huge chunk of tiramisu into his mouth while he mentally went over the calculations. Not even taking the time to swallow, he nodded for Roy to scoot closer and pointed at his own equations.
Leaning over, the Flame soon caught the point of what Ed was attempting to explain. Mentally scolding himself for not figuring this out on his own, he nonetheless shook his head.
"To do that you'll need this one - " Taking the pencil out of Ed's hand, Roy quickly sketched a rune into the array in the correct sequence, and after a moment's though added another one. "- and this one. Fire gets out of control very quickly."
As if that wouldn't be obvious to someone who had burned his own house down so many years ago. Even without being there Roy was sure the young alchemist had observed the damage the flames inflicted very closely. Had seen how greedy fire could be as it rampaged uncontrolled, consuming everything in its path, leaving behind nothing but ashes and the violated remains of what once had been his home.
"I see..." The muttering brought Roy back to the present, and he quickly glanced at the man sitting next to him. Quite close next to him, as he only now noticed. But Edward's proximity wasn´t the only thing Roy suddenly became aware of.
Most people who knew both alchemists generally noted how closely Edward resembled his father, much to the young blond's disgust. There was no denying that the two were very alike. But Roy had known Hohenheim, and up close he saw faint differences in his son's appearance. The differences had been much less noticeable when Roy had first met Edward, hidden behind childhood and the brilliant coloring he had inherited from his father.
But Ed had matured, and up close, even those distinctive colors were the not quite the same as Roy remembered about Hohenheim. Edward's hair was a deeper blond, and reflected light differently, making it a richer shade. And where Hohenheim's brows and lashes were a very dark brown, Ed's brows were lighter, and his lashes pure black - strange, considering the man's blond hair. The eyes, too, were different. Both men's were the same shape, but Edward's appeared slightly bigger than his father's, if Roy remembered correctly.
So while it was true that the young alchemist took after his father in appearance, a closer look revealed clear traces of what Edward had inherited from his mother. His nose, for example, had a slightly upturned end, and his cheekbones were higher than Hohenheim's. Roy couldn´t place the chin however. He hadn´t known Trisha, and Hohenheim's beard had concealed that part of his face. But taking into account how extremely stubborn Ed was, the thick head and stubborn jaw had to have come from both sides, and perhaps a few generations combined. And finally, while not as full as most women's lips, Ed's mouth was definitely fuller than Hohenheim's had been. The corners curved differently as well, and Roy would by no means have ever described Hohenheim's mouth as inviting or tempting. Ed's however, especially when he sucked on the lower lip just like that, lost in his thoughts, was –
With a small shake of his head, Roy slammed on his mental brakes. 'Stop right there, brain. We are not going there.' Obviously, the combination of rampaging hormones and the lack of satisfying sexual activity were leading Roy's mind into territory it would not normally venture. He cut his examination of Edward short, deciding to wrap up that line of thought with the observation that while at first glance Ed was a younger version of Hohenheim, up close he was not. End of story.
"Mustang, if you spend any more time staring at me and not answering my damn question, I will cut off your dick and stab it to the desk with this pen. Right in the middle of this array. That way I can try it out to see what effect the array has when activated."
Silence was Roy's first response to this statement. Then, finally, the Colonel put his hands in his lap to protect his precious parts – just in case - and asked Ed to repeat the question.
Tbc.
A bit shorter than planned, but this line just screamed 'I´m a perfect chapter end' at me and I couldn´t resist ^^ Next chapter may take a bit longer but don´t worry, for this fic a bit longer means one and a half week. Most likely it will be out sooner than that. can´t help it ._. The plot bunny locked jaws and is not letting go of me XD Not that I´m complaining ;-P I enjoy writing this as much as you probably enjoy reading it ^-^
