Kate and I were perched on the sofa in the living room, eating ice cream and chatting when Christian pretended to walk through the door. He was wearing a suit and even carried a briefcase, like he had just returned from the office.
'Oh, Christian, you're home,' I said, uncomfortably, jumping from my seat and practically running to the front door where he stood. 'Kate has come to visit.'
'Yes, I know,' he said with a casual smile in Kate's direction. 'Miss Jones informed me there was an extra mouth to feed. Good to see you again Katherine.'
'It's Kate,' she shot back, neither rising from her seat nor looking at him directly.
'My apologies. Well, I'm sure you two have a lot to catch up on. I'll get out of your hair.' Christian walked up the stairs and was out of sight in seconds, leaving me just standing there looking ridiculous in the doorway.
'That man gives me the creeps,' Kate said, finally looking up at me.
'He's not that bad.'
'I believe the word you used to describe him was 'intense'. He's highly-strung for sure and certainly seemed strained in our interview. But I'm not entirely comfortable with you living here anymore.'
'You were the one who gave me the contact in the first place!' I huffed, plonking myself down on the sofa next to her.
'I know I was. Doesn't mean I can't change my mind. You need to move out of here.'
'You can't be serious.'
'I am. Deadly serious. No one knows anything about this man. I've done some research; he hasn't been seen properly in months. He stopped attending his own functions. He doesn't date anymore. Come on, there's definitely something weird going on with him, you've got to admit that?'
I was so close to buckling. So close to telling Kate the truth so she wouldn't think he was a weirdo. So that she could understand, maybe even help. But then I remembered his sad face when he'd told me that no one else knew that he was dead. And the seriousness on his face when the idea of people losing their jobs crossed his mind. I couldn't do that to him, or them, even though I didn't know them.
'He just likes his own space. Which, to be honest, is great for me. It's like having this giant house all to myself.'
'It is huge…' Kate said, looking around. I'd already given her the tour (well, as much as I'd been given on my first day here) and I'm pretty sure she'd eyed and priced every item in here.
'So tell me about what you're doing…' I said and that was that. For hours Kate talked about her work, her life and her family. How much she missed me. How much she didn't miss our old house now that she had all the mod-cons of home again. How much she enjoyed the freedom of it all. I envied her. It sounded like she had her life so… together. And here I was trying to build a relationship with a dead man. There's a word for people like me, and it's not a good word.
Eventually, Kate stopped talking enough to yawn.
'I should probably hit the hay. Are you working tomorrow?'
'No, it's a Saturday.'
'Good. You can show me around, take me shopping or something.'
'Sounds like a plan,' I reply. Kate wanders off like she owns the place, as I collect up all the food wrappings we've accumulated and take them to the kitchen. Christian is sat on the work top watching me. It should have made me jump, but I kind of knew he'd be there. Listening to our conversation, watching.
'I kept your secret,' I said, throwing my rubbish away and not looking at him.
'Thank you,' he replied. 'I suppose we don't need this then.'
He pointed to a small pile of paperwork sat next to him. I moved closer to see what it was and saw the title.
Mutual Confidentiality and Nondisclosure Agreement.
'Are you serious?' I looked up at him, hurt.
'Taylor signed one. It seemed the safest option.'
'I wish I could hit you,' I replied.
He jumped off the counter quickly and was suddenly very close to me. Inches. I could feel the electricity radiating off of him, making the hair on the back of my neck and arms stand up. I bit my lip in a nervous habit and he moved even closer. His nose was so close to mine, I thought he might try and kiss me.
But he didn't.
'If you did, I'd get you back. Worse.'
It should have been threatening. I should have been worried. But I felt excited. Intrigued. I gasped that he would act so boldly, with Kate only upstairs. But he acted like it was nothing and left me standing, gaping, in the kitchen.
The dreams that night were far more vivid, and less terrifying than the previous ones. He did touch me this time, in all sorts of places…
I woke with a start, sweating a little. I could hear the shower running down the hall. I looked at my clock and it was 3am. Still dark outside. I wore pyjamas in bed, ones with pink cat faces on them, so I climbed out of bed and moved towards the sound of running water.
A light could be seen under the bathroom door. I knocked on it.
'Kate, is that you? Are you ok?'
There was no sound, except for the shower that was still running. Then all of a sudden the door flew open. Christian was standing there, completely naked, steam surrounding him like he'd stepped out onto some ridiculous 80's film set. His hair wasn't damp but his skin seemed to be glistening. And I just stood there staring like a moron.
He smirked at me, and gently pulled at my pyjamas so that I entered the shower room with him. My pyjamas were quickly damp with the steam and sticking to my body. He pulled me into the shower with my pyjamas on, and I was soon soaked through by the hot water. My hair was stuck to my face, so I moved it out of my eyes. Christian was standing in front of me, staring back.
'What are you do…'
I didn't get a chance to finish my sentence. Christian pressed his entire body up against me and pushed me up against the wall of the shower. I couldn't see anything, the steam was so thick. My heart was racing. All I could do was feel. Not with my hands, but with everything else. The water seemed to be caressing my neck, stroking my back and the pressure of his body against me felt heavy and strong.
And he smelt amazing.
Like fresh cotton and shampoo.
I felt a hand move down my body and collect my arms up by the sleeves. Even if I wanted to stretch out my hands, I couldn't. I felt something pass across my lips, like a steamy thumb.
'If only I could bite that lip as often as you do…' he whispered, and my entire body quaked at the thought. I let out a little moan, and my eyes shot open as I registered the noise I'd just made. I could see a silvery outline of Christian now, of his smirk, of his still not damp hair.
'Why are you...' I tried again.
'The steam makes me feel warm,' he replied, pressing himself up against me some more, moving my legs apart with one of his.
'I meant...'
'I know what you meant.'
A steamy hand moved up between my legs and moved slowly back and forth once it reached the centre.
I moaned again, this time ignoring my self-consciousness and leaning into it. But as soon as I gave in like that, he stopped. He let me go and moved away, leaving me standing there, drenched and wanting.
'I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry...'
I didn't wait to hear the rest of it. I practically ran through him to get out of there, ran straight into my room and into my bed. Within seconds, I'd soaked my bed through, but I was still warm. And it was warm tears streaming down my face.
He doesn't want you... You disgust him...
'Ana...' he soft voice came. I wanted to tell him to go away. I wanted to hide. I felt a hand rest on top of my sheets as he attempted to wake me, or get my attention.
'Ana, I'm sorry.'
'Stop apologising,' I spat.
'But you don't know what I'm apologising for,' he continued.
'I know you don't want to be with me. I know you think what just happened was a mistake.' I was fighting back the tears futilely. They were pouring from me now.
'It was a mistake. I'm no good for you.'
'I don't care!' I shouted back, and then immediately regretted it. Not only could I potentially wake up Kate, I was causing a scene. I was embarrassing myself more and more.
'Ana, I'm not saying this right. Will you look at me?'
I did. I pulled the sheets away from my snotty gross face and looked at him, crouched next to my bed.
'Anastasia, I want to give you what you want. Everything you want. But it'll be...unconventional. You may not want to go through with it when it really comes down to it. That's ok, but I need you to be prepared; I am no Prince Charming. We will not be running off into the distance together. We cannot grow old together; we can barely have a physical relationship. There will be rules for you to follow. And repercussions if you don't.'
There was a glint in his eye when he said the last sentence that seemed to negate the rest. Although my head was telling me to get out, you can't have a relationship with someone who is dead, my heart (and now my body as well) argued that I could.
'Do you understand?'
I nodded, even though I didn't. Not really. But I was pretty sure it was what he wanted to hear.
'Good.'
He pulled at my sheets and scooped me up. Everything was damp and cold against my skin now. He walked me down the hallway to his own room, where he sat me down on his bed and began to undress me. I gasped a little, as a spark caught from his fingers into my chest as he undid a button, and he smirked.
'Less of that please, Miss Steele. You need your sleep.'
He pulled off the rest of my wet pyjamas, and tucked me into his bed. He lay next to me and smiled when I wouldn't stop staring at him he smiled.
'Sleep, Anastasia. Rule number one. I expect you to be well rested and well fed. I can't abide girls who don't take care of themselves.'
I smiled back and closed my eyes, though reality had been so much better than my dreams.
