Apparently, even though Ricky and I agreed that our weekend together would stay just between us, it didn't take long before word got out that he was there. I don't know who told everyone, but I know he didn't. If I had to guess it was probably Ashley but I guess that doesn't really matter.
On Monday I got a text from Madison and I could only assume Lauren was in on it too.
From:Madison
So Ricky came to visit? wtf? Tell us everything!
I figured it would be best if I didn't respond. Seconds later I got another text.
From: Madison
How was it? Did you have fun? Did you guys do anything? We need details!
To:Madison
It was fine.
I wasn't giving any more details than that, not even to my best friends. I thought about it, but until I knew what was going on between Ricky and me, I wasn't about to start telling other people about it. Plus I know that Madison and Lauren can't keep their mouths shut to save their lives and if I told them anything the whole school would know in like five minutes.
A couple days later, on my birthday to be exact, I got an interesting call from Adrian. I know we worked things out but I was still surprised to see her name on my called ID since I was sure she wasn't calling to wish me a happy birthday.
"Hey Adrian, What's up?" I answered.
"I just thought I'd call," she said.
"Oh, for no apparent reason," I asked cutting right to the chase.
"I just wanted to say hi and see how you are," she told me.
"Thanks, Adrian. I've been wondering how you are too," I told her. That wasn't a lie, I really was curious about how she was doing.
"Really? I would have thought Ricky would have told you this weekend how I am." There it was.
"We didn't really have a lot time to talk about you."
"Why is that?" she asked suspiciously.
"He was only here for a short time and we had a lot to discuss."
"Like?"
"Like stuff about John. So how are you? How are you feeling?"
"Just like I told Ricky when he came over last week and spent half the night talking to me, I'm feeling good. Really good."
"So no more morning sickness?"
"No," she answered quickly clearly not wanting to talk about that. "You know, Ben was really upset that Ricky just took off and flew to New York without telling him. He still loves you - Ben," she quickly clarified.
"He's a nice guy, Ben, and I'm sure he'll be a responsible dad."
"I'm sure," she snapped. "You know, my dad really wants us to get married. I mean how crazy is that? Ben and me married! I mean everyone knows that he's in love with you. He's always been in love with you. Just like Ricky's always kind of been in love with me, you know."
I wasn't really sure what she was getting at with that but I decided to be as honest with her as I could. "Babies have a way of making relationships change whether you want the relationship to change or not."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I mean relationships change. Thing happen, babies are born, and the babies grow up. Sometimes so do the parents."
"Are you telling me I need to grow up?" she asked defensively. "Is that what you're saying?"
"Oh no, that's not what I'm saying at all. I'm sorry you took it that way. Please don't take it that way, Adrian. I really want us to be friends. I think we have a good shot at being friends. It's a very difficult experience having a baby in high school and girls tend to relate to each other based on common experiences."
"Well we also have the common experiences of Ben and Ricky."
"Actually I've never had sex with Ben, remember?" I clarified.
"Oh yeah I forgot. Well he surprised me. It was a lot of fun. It was the only time I've ever seen him let loose and enjoy himself."
"I don't think we should be talking about what the two of you did, that's all very private and personal and all that."
"I'm just saying maybe you should sleep with him."
"Adrian, I don't think I'm going to have sex again with anyone I'm not married to."
"You and Ricky aren't thinking of getting married are you? You didn't get married this past weekend did you?"
I laughed, "Adrian, Ricky and I decided to keep what happened this weekend between the two of us."
"But then you'll tell Lauren and Madison, and Madison will tell Jack and Jack will tell Grace and she'll tell Ben so you might as well just tell me!"
"I can't sorry. Why don't we talk about something else."
"Because I want to know what's going on between you and Ricky. And I would think you would want to know what's going on between me and Ricky."
"No, that's between Ricky and you."
"Just tell me!" she yelled.
"Sorry, I can't. But it was great talking to you," I said sarcastically, "We should catch up again soon." On that note I hung up. I couldn't help but laugh at her desperation to know what was going on. I better get more used to it because I'm sure everyone is going to be asking me the same questions.
I went about the day as I normally would. I didn't want to make a big deal about my birthday but I couldn't help but be a little disappointed when I hadn't heard from my friends and family at all regarding my birthday. I'm sure they will call me eventually but I thought they would have by now.
My friends here were all trying to convince me to go out and celebrate, but I wasn't really in the mood to do that. We all went out to dinner and they paid for me which was really nice. But I still didn't really want to put too much emphasis on it. Seventeen really isn't an important birthday anyway.
During dinner I got a text.
From: Lauren
Haven't hear from you in a while what's going on?
I hadn't talked to her in a while and I did want to see what was going on with her. Plus I was impressed that she didn't immediately ask about my weekend with Ricky. I felt rude texting her back when I was out with people who did care it was my birthday so I figured I would just call her back later.
I called her when we got home from dinner and I had a chance to talk.
"Hi Amy," she answered.
"Hey Lauren, What's up?"
"Nothing good."
"Oh, well I'm sorry I didn't text you back, I just figured I'd call. I miss you."
"My dad's over here. He just screwed up my entire life in one visit."
"Your dad dad?"
"That one."
"How?"
"I e-mailed him by mistake. I was e-mailing him and Madison and Jesse all one after another. I guess the one I thought I sent to Madison went to him."
"That's too bad. I'm sorry. What did it say?"
Before she could tell me Madison beeped in. I decided to take it because, I don't know, I guess I was still waiting for a birthday call and Lauren didn't seem to remember. Answering her call was clearly a mistake. Not only did she not remember my birthday but she was talking a mile a minute about the same thing Lauren had just told me. Something about lying to their parents about staying at Grace's guest house with their boyfriends.
"... and now he tells me that we can't be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore because he thinks we're going to do something stupid like get pregnant," I heard her say and I tried not to take any offense to it.
"Yeah it's a pretty stupid thing to do," I said unsure if she even realized who she was talking to. "Can I call you back I have Lauren on the other line," I said as I attempted to switch over. As I was doing that Megan and Molly walked up and interrupted.
"Oh hey, there you are," Molly said.
"Hey, I was just talking to some friends back home," I told them.
"Hang up, you're going out with us," she said sternly.
"Oh no, it's ok, I think I'm just going to stay in tonight," I replied.
"Nope, we're not taking no for an answer," Megan responded, "You never go out so tonight, you're going out."
"We're going to take you to that new club, Pajamas. And no admittance without pajamas so get dressed," Molly demanded.
"Well actually undressed," Megan clarified, "Go on, we're going to wait for you."
Obviously they had planned this since I told them I didn't want to go out earlier so I guess I didn't have a choice. I went back inside to change.
"And don't stop to call John or Ricky or anyone. Let's go. This is your night Amy Juergens," Megan yelled after me.
The club wasn't too far away from our apartment so we decided to walk there. I had mentioned to the girls that I hadn't heard from anyone about my birthday yet. They sounded optimistic that I still would at some point but I wasn't so sure anymore. Clearly my two best friends didn't remember or were just too wrapped up in their own stupid drama to care.
We got to the club and I was a little overwhelmed. I had never been to a club before and to be honest, I'm not sure if I liked it. This particular club was targeted to teenagers. You only had to be 16 to get in and there were separate sections for under and over 21. It was very loud and hot inside but I did think the pajama theme was fun. As we were walking in my dad called me. I attempted to answer it but I really couldn't hear him that well over the noise inside.
"Dad is that you?" I yelled into the phone.
"Where are you?" he yelled acknowledging the background noise.
"I'm at a club."
"You're at a club?" he asked very confused. He said something else that I really couldn't hear.
"I can't hear you talk louder?"
"What kind of club?" I heard him ask.
"It's a pajama club. You have to wear pajamas to get in."
"Amy, your dad and I are getting married again!" I heard my mom say.
"Really? Tonight?"
I couldn't hear what she said next and then eventually the line went dead. Another disappointment form my family and friends. My parents lately have been breaking up and getting back together all the time. I sometimes forgot that they are even divorced so I don't find the news of them getting remarried all that exciting.
After that call, though, I didn't really want to be at the club anymore but I couldn't tell my friends that. I kept checking my phone to see if I had any messages, mainly from Ricky, but I never did. I could have sworn I had mentioned to Ricky when by birthday was when he was here. But then again, maybe I didn't. I can't even remember anymore but it really hurt that him of all people didn't remember. The girls could tell that I wasn't happy so we decided to leave.
"No text from Ricky?" Megan asked me.
"No."
"No text from Madison or Lauren?" Molly asked.
"No."
"From your sister?" Megan asked trying to be optimistic.
"No."
"Not even from your mom or dad?" Molly asked now very surprised.
"No but whatever, I had a really nice time."
"You should have a picture," Molly suggested as she took my phone. After she took it she started messing around with my phone.
"What are you doing?" I asked her.
"I'm sending it to Ricky," She told me.
I didn't really want her to do that. What was the point?
"Whatever, let's go. We have class tomorrow it's late," I said.
"We have class." "It's late." "We shouldn't have any fun." "We're mommies." They both mocked me. I wasn't amused.
"Enjoy it. The real world is coming back sooner than you think," Megan told me.
Molly handed my phone back to me and we left. On our way home they insisted on stopping at the grocery store and picking up a cake. I told them that really wasn't necessary and that I just wanted to go to bed, but they insisted. I felt bad that they probably thought that they did something wrong because of the way I was acting, but they knew that it wasn't their fault. They kept trying to tell me that I should say something to my friends and family about forgetting.
"I think you should text them all," Megan suggested.
"Nah, I don't care, really," I said trying to convince both them and myself.
"You do too care," Molly cut in, "And you know what, you should say that you care. You should say how you feel. You should let people know if you are upset about something. You need to let them know. That's what we've been talking about in group. About not trying to be perfect even though we totally screwed up. I mean, you still have feelings and some of those feelings toward some of those people are not so great."
She was right. That was pretty much the number one thing we had been talking about for the past few weeks was our relationships with the main supporters in our lives. I have to admit I was getting a lot out of those group sessions even if I don't like to say it. No one likes to admit they need help.
"Your feelings towards your friends and family tonight, for example," Megan said, "You could let them know in a nice way but you should let them know. Here, let me take another picture. A picture you could sent to everyone," she said as she took out the cake and lit the candle. "Put 'happy birthday to me' as the subject."
"I don't know," I hesitated.
"Do it!" they said together.
Just as I was about to, my phone finally went off. When I saw it was from Ricky I got excited. I opened it up and there was no words, it was a picture of John sleeping. It made me smile to see it, but I was really confused as to why he sent it.
"That's sweet but why would he send me that?" I asked the girls showing the picture.
"I'll tell you why," Megan answered, "He thinks you're out at a club while poor Ricky is at home with John; which I doubt by the way. He probably just got home."
"That sounds about right," Molly agreed.
As they said that I had the worst thoughts running through my head. I know Ricky and I weren't officially anything yet, but he had told me that he would stop sleeping with other girls for me and I just had a gut feeling that that was exactly what he was doing right now. The worst part about that was there was nothing I could do to stop him. I also realized that the longer I'm away from him, the less likely our chances are of ever working out.
That was when I finally agreed to sending the picture. He was the only person I sent it to. I waited up for a while to see if I would get a response and I never did. Happy birthday to me? Yeah right. But I do really appreciate the girls' effort to make it better. It was then that I was starting to realize that I really didn't want to be here anymore.
