White

Language is the source of misunderstanding.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

'Hold still, you big blundering idiot!'

Thor sighs deeply but raises himself a little, stopping to crush Loki into the headboard and sits still once more. Finally being able to breath again, he resumes to thread his fingers through thick golden hair. Thor is constantly fidgeting, sitting between his legs with his back turned on the ravenette.

'I am trying.', Thor sighs. 'But your fingers feel amazing.' Loki can now definitely hear a smug smile in his voice. A pleasured hum comes from the blond when Loki's fingers scrap over his scalp while braiding his hair. Finishing with the left small braid he presses his lips with a sly smile on the sweet spot right behind the blond's ear. Humming Thor leans lightly back into the touch, letting Loki roam his hands across his broad chest freely. Suddenly Thor turns half around, capturing Loki's lips for a long deep kiss, pressing him down into the pillows. After some struggling and jiggling he lies more or less comfortable under Thor. As the blond pulls back slightly to let his eyes wander over the lithe body half his hair falls in his face.

'See? Much better.', Loki smirks.

'I will have to put that to a test.', Thor grins back, diving back for another kiss.

'Stop it, Thor.' Giggling he tries to avoid his overambitious lover. Not that he would really want to stop him but they both have to get up. Their mother had seen Loki earlier this morning, wandering the gardens while collecting several herbs for his spells, asking him to wake Thor. It would not be good for a future king to sleep in every day. So three hours after vanishing from his rooms, Loki had entered them again, this time taking the door. Nevertheless, their mother would get suspicious if none of them is seen soon. And Loki has the feeling that if someone finds out about them, it would be the queen. Damn her sharp mind that she passed on to her second son.

'Thor, not now.', he exclaims, suppressing his laugh barely, when Thor's hands travel farther south.

Thor's tongue flickers over his pulse point. 'Why not?', he breathes into Loki's ear.

'Get up and let me finish this.' He hits Thor playfully and plasters a half-hearted scowl on his face. One last kiss is pressed on his lips before the god of thunder sits up sighing. Quickly Loki braids the rest of the hair otherwise covering the handsome face to complete his usual hairdo. Pressing his nose into the warrior's hair he breathes in deeply his scent. Unfortunately he would not be the one rejoicing in messing up the golden hair.

Like always, with Father not having any demands, Thor had immediately decided, that if he had to go out, he would go training. Loki had stated that with his hair in a messed state like his, having just stood up, every common warrior would defeat him due to the fact that it keeps on falling into his face. So the trickster had sat on the bed. A soft 'come here' and moments later he had found his lover sitting in front of him, strong hands stroking his calves while he busies himself with the spun gold.

'Finished.', he declares, moving back a little to admire his work.

'Good. I wasn't.' The cocky grin is back when he turns around. Loki knows that gleam in his eyes just too good.

'Didn't you want to go?'

'And not repay the favor of driving you crazy with my hands?' He shakes his head, grinning widely.

A hand snakes under Loki's loose tunic, making his breath hitch slightly. Soft lips kiss him and before he knows why or how he lies on his back again, Thor on top.

'Don't.', he chuckles. 'We can't now.'

He can hear Thor laughing against his neck. 'But I want to. And you apparently want too.' Loki squirms slightly when Thor bites his skin gently. 'It would be most rude to leave you like this, love.'

'Oh, be already gone.' He shoves him away gently, a smile on his face that belies his glare.

'Loki.' Thor pouts but sits up. 'Please.'

'Not now.'

'But I need you.'

A long heavy sigh escapes the trickster. 'Fine, later.'

'Tonight?' Hope gleams in his eyes.

Loki closes his already open mouth to stop a 'yes' from tumbling out. 'I am sorry, tonight I don't have time.' And he really is sorry. But he will not put off this long overdue meeting with Sleipi even though his heart is heavy.

'Then after training? Afterwards we could eat lunch.', he suggests.

'I don't know. I don't think that would be a good idea.'

Thor's hand cups his neck, pulling him into a soft kiss. 'Alright. Then you have no excuse.' He lunges himself once more onto the bed, ignoring his protesting lover.

'Fine, fine, fine.', the trickster manages to force out between the laughs when Thor starts to tickle him. 'I'll be there.'

'Promise?' The blond stills momentarily, looking down to him.

'Yes.', he answers after some seconds.

'One hour before lunch. Here. Don't you dare being late.', Thor points his finger at him.

'I am not the one known to be always be late.' His hands grab Thor's bottom. They kiss more passionate but eventually Loki draws back. He really cannot wait to hold Thor in his arms again, but not right now. He's got to be the responsible one in this relationship.

'Love you.'

'I love you too, Loki.' Beautiful blue eyes gaze down on him but the blond makes no move to let him stand up, just presses his lips on his more firmly.

'I should go. Mother will be wondering why I took so long.'

'But we will see each other?'

'An hour before lunch.' Loki nods. 'I will be there. You should really go now, too. They'll be missing you.', he teases.

Thor grins and shrugs. 'I win anyway.'

He presses a quick kiss on Thor's lips. 'Then win for me.'

'I will.'

'Then finally get out of bed.', pressing a chaste loving kiss on his lips once more he shoves the blond of him and stands up, smoothing out his clothes.

'Will you come and watch me?', Thor asks, propped up on his elbow when Loki makes his way away from the bed.

'We'll see.'

'Please?'

With a smile Loki teleports into his own rooms to find something to occupy him. His gaze wanders over the herbs and plants he had orderless placed on his table before waking Thor. Loki sighs and sets to work. Stocking up on his personal experiment materials had been necessary now for a long time, some of the jars are completely empty. Especially his healing supplies had suffered greatly, with Thor obtaining every other day an injury and Loki not being able to ignore them as his lover does. The task keeps his hands busy, but not his mind. The developments regarding Muspelheim are more than alarming. Even if Thor had tried to downplay the issue, Loki isn't fooled so easily. Their father would drag Thor every now and then into new political issues to prepare him to take the throne somewhen in the future but usually just to the meetings with the counselors, not for prior sessions.

His thoughts are still on the threatening problems of the Nine realms when his fingers reach for nothing. Just when he wants to take a look at his list with potions and spells he wants to try, his eyes fix on an empty glass containment. Loki frowns when seeing that no evening star is left. It is not too essential for his usage but its missing nevertheless bothers the trickster. He likes to be prepared for anything. His mother had halted his collecting a bit too early. Some other of his containments are half-empty as well, all herbs he is sure grow in the palace gardens. For a moment he considers teleporting there before deciding to take the normal boring way. And if he takes the detour via the training grounds, it is definitely not for Thor or because he asked. Why would he care to watch his brother fighting the other warriors? That is none of his interest. And that all just to please Thor? No, definitely not. It is simply more convenient, even if there are shorter ways. This way his mother can't complain he isn't spending enough time outside. Yes, that is the only reason. And if he stops for a moment to watch the brilliant sun winning especially for him, that is pure coincidence.

The smoothness of his fighting style, the fluidity of his movements, the raw strength of his strikes are just a part of what defines the beauty of the warrior. The apparent easiness with which he dominates the battlefield had always fascinated Loki, his ability to outsmart others there, where it apparently is exclusively important. He is brash and not patient enough but Loki can see why there seldom is anyone able to truly challenge his lover. He has to admit, inward it makes him beam to know, that the most praised warrior of Asgard is his lover and no one knows. The training grounds are full of people this time of day so they fight in pairs of three, Thor against Lady Sif and a warrior of the northern borders whose name Loki can't bother to remember.

Loki shakes his head, he probably shouldn't enjoy the display of Thor's abilities so much but he really looks forward now for their little meeting later. Even though he doubts they will make it for lunch, at least he hopes. Maybe he could talk Thor into showering later, after their activities, of course he would never admit that the darker scent his lover carries after fighting riles him up.

The blond manages to shake Sif off a bit, throwing a triumphant smile into Loki's direction. Naturally he had noticed him watching. Loki smiles back, deciding he could probably spare another moment or two of his time to see his love win for him.

Sif braces herself for the next attack, but something is edged on her features which Loki cannot place. A cold fury, something like hate and determination. Something hurt, something mad, beyond reason. Thor has his back turned on her, fending off an attack of his second sparring partner, he cannot see the deadly look on her face, cannot see Loki's eyes widen with realization, with horror. Their fight of last night flashes up in his mind. After that statement of yours she would have to be really blind and deaf and completely stupid as to not have gotten the hint. Time seems to pause and run far too fast.
Sif moves and without conscious thought Loki does as well. His magic is useless, he is too late, shoots through his head.

'Thor!'

The cry leaves his throat a split second before his seidr makes the air cringe, panic tainting his voice, not thinking a second about anything but to stop her. This can't happen, he won't let it happen. He can't. His heart is on fire, it burns right through him. A pain that whitens everything out.

Hazel eyes widen in surprise and panic, light features framed with black hair twist right in front of his eyes. Loki thinks he can hear his name being called out but isn't sure about it. The only thing he knows for sure is the shock widened face staring at him doesn't look deadly anymore but her eyes still carry a hinge of that hidden fury, but he cannot remember why it is there, or for whom it is reserved. That he notices, and the fact that he can't seem to breathe anymore and the pain is still radiating from his chest, only this time it feels different. His own eyes mimic the expression of the black haired female who Loki knows, he is certain, but when and where they met, it trickles out of his mind. Slowly he diverts his gaze from the familiar face to the place where the pain seems to center. The edges blur. Blood seeps through his tunic. It looks surreal, like the sword still held by a pale hand which slowly withdraws. His hand flies up to the place where it impales his chest, marveling at the strange beauty of the blood tainting his white hands. He tries to take hold of his magic, but it escapes his grasp. Its control slips from him even faster than his consciousness. He looks up again. When exactly the face got replaced by a cloudless sky, Loki could not tell. But the pain lessens with every second.

The sun enters his vision before everything turns white.

xXxXx

'Thor!'

A scream seeping with panic echoes over the training grounds. Forgetting all about his spar, Thor's head whips around to the place his brother had stood not a moment ago, encouraging him with a smile but it is empty. He frowns before hearing a muffled gurgling sound from behind together with some not suppressed gasps and cries. Thor turns to Sif but the slim back of Loki blocks his gaze. His upper body is hunched forward. The gurgling sound is there again with no indication for Thor where it comes from. Glacial a red stain blooms on the backside of the green tunic clinging on his body starting from the point where the silver-red blade exits his body. Thor can do nothing but stare, his brain refusing to comprehend what happens in front of his eyes.

The body shakes and falls to the ground, hands around the blade piercing him. It breaks the spell and Thor drops his sword, rushing to kneel next to the black haired man.

'Loki!'

Green widened eyes stare at the sky, not taking in anything. Slowly they focus on Thor. A small smile appears on his pale face. Tears sting in Thor's eyes. He realizes the gurgling noise is the breath hitching in his lover's chest. The sword enters his torso just where his heart is, the exact heart whose beat he had listened to not half a day past. The deep red blood soaks through the former green tunic, far too fast, far too much. His own breath hitches as the tears begin to fall freely.

'Loki, no. Loki, please.'

He wants to touch him but it will cause his lover more pain, it could cause more damage. His mind is empty. This is impossible, it must be a bad dream. Please. It has to be. He will wake up in a moment, his Loki lying next to him, unharmed, complaining that he moved so much.

'Loki.'

Green eyes roll back as his consciousness leaves him, his skin seems to whiten momentarily. Blood rushes through Thor's ears, drowning out every sound. Helpless he looks up at Sif.

'What happened?'

His voice sounds pleading in his own ears and breaks. If she answers or not, he does not know. He returns his gaze to his brother, his lover, his friend, lying in the dirt, his chest rising forever so slightly. Somewhere in the back of his mind the warrior takes over the situation.

'Someone run to the healing halls. He needs help. They shall prepare.' His voice breaks again but his tone is authoritative. He changes his position and gently places his hands under Loki's body. Some of the few warriors on the grounds look as if they would offer their services, their help, but something in Thor's gaze makes them stop. No one will touch him, he is hurt, he is his responsibility. His hands shake violently. Loki feels cooler than normal. As careful as he can Thor lifts him up, panic and shock still cursing through his veins. The small crowd parts wordless when they pass, at least none of their sounds reaches Thor's ears. Please, hold on. Please, hold on. He repeats the mantra in his head again and again. This can't happen. Not now, not Loki. He prays to the Norns that they not take his sole purpose of life from him. They should take him, not his beloved brother.

'Please, Loki. Hold on. You have to hold on.', he murmurs while hastening through the almost empty corridors. 'Don't do this to me, Loki. Don't leave me, please don't leave me.'

His footsteps echo through the halls, blood dripping from his hands, from the still body. It is less than before, still far too much. It had been better before. He will bled dry before he gets help, crosses Thor's mind.

'Loki, love.'

They are alone in the corridors, none had dared to follow them. But Thor could have cared less.

'You can't leave me, please don't. I can't live without you.'

Tears run down his cheeks, blood down his hands. His lover's blood, a constant reminder that he could not protect the only person that matters to him. He goes as fast as he dares, afraid to hurt Loki further, to put him through more pain. The hilt of the sword still piercing his chest rises softly, each time with a fainter, wheezing sound. Maybe he shouldn't have picked Loki up at all. But by the time the healers would have been there he would surely be dead.

'We're almost there, you have to hold on. Please, stay with me.'

Loki cannot die. No, he can't. Thor's heart aches while he tries to be light-footed. He can't leave Thor behind. He has to hold on, has to survive. A darkness swallows his ache as dread fills him. What if Thor loses him? Speeding his steps despite his troubles to breathe.

'I love you, you cannot go. You have to come back.'

Never have the ways through the palace seemed so long. Not all the times he had sported various wounds, not when his friends had gotten hurt, not even when Loki had been brought home from that hunting trip years ago.

'Don't do this to me, Loki. Please, just don't go. Asgard needs you. Mother needs you. I need you.'

The rawness of his voice probably carries through the halls but he meets no one. Or maybe he does and can't remember. The fair features are white with a tinge of blue now, his breaths coming ever more infrequent and weak. The halls grow longer and longer, his steps seem to carry him nowhere.

'Please, Loki, don't leave me.', he sobs.

He isn't sure anymore if he talks out loud or just in his head. Thor begs and pleads and curses, swears and vows, surrenders. This cannot happen. The Norns cannot be this cruel. Not him, anyone, but not him.

'Love, please, stay.'

A new thought crosses his mind, unbidden, heart shattering, blood freezing. It is all his own fault. Loki would have never been on the training grounds today if he wouldn't have asked, if he hadn't been so selfish. If Loki dies, he alone is to blame. Guilt fuels his steps. New sobs build up in his throat. He killed his love.

Around the next corner finally a healer hurries towards him. Laying her eyes on the limp form in Thor's arms she pales visibly but urges Thor to follow her quickly. His heart races when they cross the threshold to the healing halls, he can barely hear the healers scurrying around him. His mind is blank again, he is placing Loki as gentle as he can on a bed without realizing much. The blood taints the white sheets immediately. Thor bows over Loki's face, not noticing the healers trying to usher him away.

'Hold on, Loki. I love you.'

He presses a kiss on the cold forehead, now definitely turning blue.

'You have to go, my Prince.'

Slowly the meaning trickles through the fog in his mind and Thor turns to the healer. She repeats her request.

'No, I want to stay.'

'We can't help him if you don't step back.'

Thor just shakes his head, feeling surprisingly strong hands drawing him away from the bed.

'No, he needs me!', he cries. They can't take him away.

'My Prince, we need to safe him. Please, step back.', she tries to reason.

Two other healers had stepped to the bed and begun to examine the damage. One of them frowned deeply, worry shining in her eyes. A shudder runs through the lithe body dying in front of his eyes when one of the healers touches him lightly.

'No, you're hurting him!'

He bumps into a small blond healer, trying to protect his fragile brother. Don't they understand how delicate he is? Looking down he sees sadness in her gaze but also determination.

'Thor, please let us do our work. Wait outside. You can't do anything for him now. Don't make this worse.' Her voice doesn't calm her but he stops trying to push forward. Thor had known her for his whole life, she had often patched up his brother and himself.

He lets himself being led out of the room, but not without casting back another glance. He is still breathing, faintly but noticeable. When will he see him the next time? And in what state? Outside the door the healer leaves him to hurry back. He slumps down, back leaning on a wall. Just when he wants to rest his head in his palms he sees the blood sticking to his hands, slowly dripping to the ground. His silver armor is tainted with red, the dark red cape has now dark spots on it. Far too much. Desperation clashes like waves over his head, drowning him slowly, painfully. He lets his tears fall, lets the people he barely hears hear his sobs, his despair. How could he care? Why would he? The only important thing in his world lies in the room behind him, if still alive he does not dare to think about.

How much time he passed in this numb and still painful state, he can't tell. Every moment someone could walk into the room and spell his doom. After a while he begins to pace, unable to hide his impatience much longer. The waiting without news drives him mad. But it means his love is still alive. He wants to rush in, to hold Loki in his arms, protect him, help him. Why had he just asked him to come and watch him fight? How could he have been so stupid? If Loki does not make it.. he does not believe he will. His legs grow tired from the walking up and down the small room. Fortunately they had put him in a separate chamber, the thought of company makes him feel nauseated. He wrings his blood soaked hands. He wants to see Loki, hears his laughter, feel his body and know he is alright.

Time races and creeps, maybe he waits for hours or just for some seconds, but eventually the door opens, Eir, the chief healer, entering the small room, face in a grim masque.

'My Prince.', she greets him hastily, washing blood from her hands with a cloth.

'Is Loki..' He can't finish the sentence. His voice breaks.

'He is alive, but only barely.', she quickly adds.

Thor releases his breath. Relief floods him. Alive.

'Can I see him?'

Eir sighs. 'He needs his rest now. Actually, I am not sure that will be enough. His injuries are very severe.'

'But he will be alright?', panic makes his voice jump an octave higher.

'I will do my best.' Empty words. 'His lung is punctured, his heart beats but very weakly. He has lost a lot of blood.', she clears her throat. 'Maybe it would be best to inform the king and the queen. Then you can visit him together.'

To bid him farewell.

She doesn't say it but he can hear it.

'Shall I send one of the servants?', she inquires softly.

Thor shakes his head. 'I will go. They should not hear it from anyone else.'

She nods understanding before turning around to enter the room with his only lover again. With dragging steps he leaves the halls of healing, and slowly makes his way to the place he knows his parents are always this time of day. He shakes violently and his mind spins around a thousand thoughts and is still so empty. Like his heart, hope abandoned it.

The guards open the doors for him without inquiries, sharing a confused and worried look. The throne room is almost empty except for some important visitor Thor had already forgotten about. The All-father glances furiously at the unexpected intruder, Thor knows exactly what he sees.

'Thor, is everything..'

His mother probably noticed the blood dried on his hands and armor, maybe the dead look on his face, whatever it is, she stops mid sentence, eyes widening with horror. His father's stare turns from fury to worry.

'What happened, son?'

'Are you hurt?', his mother walks past the visitors hurriedly.

Thor just shakes his head. The All-father had risen from his throne, crossing the hall with long steps. Where the guests vanish to, he doesn't know.

'You need to go to the healing halls, immediately.' Frigga's hands shake slightly as she tries to bring him there. He just shakes his head again, no words leaving his mouth.

'I am fine.', Thor forces out.

'What happened?', his father sounds wary.

'Loki.' He almost chokes on the word.

'What is with him?', his mother blinks back tears.

'He.. He is in the healing halls. He got injured. I don't know how. He was.. watching our training and then he suddenly was there and..' His voice breaks and new tears spill over his face. 'I couldn't protect him. It all happened so fast. One moment he was there and next he fell.'

'What did the healers say, son?'. Odin asks quietly.

'They do what they can. They promised. They are not sure if he makes it.', the last part is almost imperceptible.

'We need to go immediately.', Frigga looks at her husband who now wears a grim expression. She squeezes Thor's hand before going together with his father, leaving Thor alone in the far too big room, lost in sorrow and grief.

xXxXxXx

So, this is up a little early (at my place it's still Friday) 'cause I won't have time tomorrow and I didn't want this to be late. So happy early Saturday ^^ Hope you don't bother.

Well, what can I say? It just happened. [Now you probably understand the question about Sif, it still can be answered^^] And I feel aweful about this but I couldn't help it (I literally feel the hatemail starting ^^'')

Reviews are always welcome and appreciated, I look forward to hear from you.

See you next Saturday, this time for real :)